Thursday, 5 February 2015

Last part:Life out of control(season 2)

(Before you want to murder me..just read the part first at least!!)

Riddhima looked at Sapna hugging her parents as she headed off for the airport. She closed her eyes, remembering how Sapna had always been there for her. No, she couldn’t cry right now. Needing to get away from the scene, she picked up her blue and silver lehenga, and made a rush for the back garden, smiling once or twice at people who looked at her. Armaan saw her and followed, knowing she needed someone. But no one else could be seen anywhere around. As soon as Riddhima got outside, the wind distracted her. Sapna was happy that she was starting a new life. And she should be happy for her! Smiling at the thought of Sapna in the UK, she folded her arms around her.
“Nice breeze…” she heard a voice next to her. She didn’t need to turn to know it was Armaan. She nodded in reply.
“Khushi hai, lekin zara dukh bhi hai?” he asked looking at her. She nodded again. “You know, you’re allowed to let it out.”

“Are you bent on seeing me crying every day? Mujhe laga thak chuke hoge!” she replied slightly coldly. She was in no mood for riddles, and didn’t have the slightest clue what he was trying to do. But whatever it was, she didn’t care right now. He smiled at her slightly annoyed face. She looked so pristine when she was in blue or red or black or white, any colour! He thought to himself. Looking down at his black and blue sherwani, he realized that unknowingly, they matched.
“I never meant cry. I meant talk about it. If you want. Because that what girls are experts at doing.” He replied simply, looking into the darkness. Riddhima’s mouth dropped open.
“What? Girls are? And you think you guys are perfect huh?”
Armaan shook his head.
“I don’t think, I know we’re perfect.” He said in his old, big headed tone.
“Yeh, if perfect meant dumb, stupid, idiot.” Riddhima agreed.
“Guy’s aren’t dumb…” he began.
“You are.”
“We’re not.”
“Denial is the first stage of acceptance. So you’re getting there.” She patted his back.
“Tum moti ho!”
“WHAT? No I’m not! I’m perfectly fine!”
“Denial is the first stage of acceptance.” He repeated after her, and walked slowly away as she ran after him. That idiot!
“Armaan tum pagal ho! To turn something into your favour koi tumse seekhe.”
“Aur jhoot bolna tumse.”
“Main jhoot nahin bolti!” she snapped back, narrowing her eyes. Gosh how he had missed that!
“Ek aur jhoot. Ladkiyan ko jhoot bolne se fursat milti hai kabhi?”
“Armaan tum hadd paar kar rahe ho!” she glared at him. He looked at the sky then looked back at her with his eyebrows scrunched up.
“Abh sach bolne main bhi hadd hai?”
“Tum jhoot bol rahe ho!”
“Really?” he asked her, leaning slightly forward, with his eyes narrowed. With the same expression, she replied,
“Really!” She suddenly straightened up as she realized that was what they did when they were together. Doing this scorched old wounds, and she looked away. Armaan, changed his tone and sat on the lawn chair. She remained standing until he told her,
“You’re allowed to sit down you know.” Finally, after a lot of contemplating, she sat down next to him.
“You know, I never actually thought about how close Sapna and I had become.” She whispered as she stared into space. Armaan looked at her, knowing she just wanted someone to listen. “Voh choti choti baatein jo mujhe irritate karti thi uske bare mein. I’m going to miss them so much.”
“Main hoon na tumhe irritate karne ke liye.” He replied with cheek in his voice. She laughed, and leaned her head back.
“I really do hope she has a great future ahead of her. Maine kabhi iss bare main socha nahin. Voh humesha mere saath thi. In every thing I did.”
Armaan just looked at her, and she sat up again, her eyes very slightly blurry. She got up, to occupy herself, to keep from crying. He got up with her, and immediately engulfed her in his arms. This time, she did not resist. She just put her head in the crook of his neck, and wiped away the lone tear that slipped out.
“Heyy basket. Think of all the good things she will get there. Think of how funny she’ll look bundled up in winter clothes.” Riddhima laughed at that. “And think of how much you will be able to talk when she comes back. Baatein khatam hi nahin hogi. Waise abhi bhi baatein kabh khatam hoti hain?” She hit his chest hard, as he laughed. “You know Basket, you’re very strong.” He complimented her.
“I’ve had a lot of practice by hitting you.” She replied.
“Waise I was talking about inner strength, but now come to think of it, those blows on Sasha must have permanently injured her!” he joked, as Riddhima laughed, closing her eyes.
“I couldn’t let her get away with insulting my family Armaan.”
He just hugged her tighter, to apologize for all he had done over the past weeks. Rubbing her back, he sighed and put his chin on her head. She closed her eyes, feeling at ease.
“You’ll be fine. You are strong.” He whispered to her. She leaned up and kissed his cheek, as he closed his eyes. The feeling of her lips on his skin was like heaven. He hadn’t felt it for ages. She looked at his innocent expression, and leaned up again, this time, pulling herself closer to his lips. There was a full on raging war between her heart and mind. He could feel her breath on his face, as he opened his eyes, to look into hers. But they were closed. He needed to read them, to know what was going on inside her. Riddhima’s heart was winning. She wanted to feel him. She wanted to feel his warmth. What warmth? That which could not be trusted? Would she give her heart and soul out to the person, who didn’t think twice before taking any action? Why not? As long as he loved her! That was all she needed! Suddenly those fateful words circled her head, as she remembered the agony he had put her through because of his thoughtlessness. Her eyes flew open, and saw Armaan looking at her tentatively. Armaan noticed fear and betrayal in her green and the next moment, he was pushed away. He could feel his heart thudding hard. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t accept and forgive him easily.

Riddhima stepped back after pushing him. He tried to take a step towards her, to apologize, but she held up her hand.
“Stay away from me.” The words pierced him deeply, wounding the very structure of his heart.
“I’m sorry…” he said quietly and left from the place. Riddhima turned, tears brimming in her eyes again. She pushed away the one person that was there for her, always. No one else had noticed how she was feeling. It was only Armaan, who always took her in his arms, and comforted her. He was the one that made her laugh. Yes he made her heart bleed as well, but that was once. And why was it becoming harder to weigh that pain against all the happiness he had given her?

“Good morning interns,” Shashank said with a bright face, early on a Monday morning. He had flown back last night and had had the best of holidays.
“Yeh itne khush kyun dikh rahe hain? Kahin hum sab ko jail toh nahin bijwana chahte? Mujhe pata tha, hume dukhi dekh ke hi satisfied honge.” Muskaan whispered to Nikki who stifled her laugh. Rahul, who had a hectic week the previous week and after being back to work, wasn’t in the slightest bit cheerful, like Shashank was.
“Lagta hai holiday ka nashaa abhi tak nahin utra.” Rahul murmured to Abhi, who agreed with him.
“Main toh kehta Armaan ko abhi se khud ki aur Riddhima ki baat kehde. Aise mauke baar baar nahin aate.” Abhi whispered back.
“Yaar tujhe Armaan ki pari hai, wahaan Muskaan ke maa baap uski shaadi karwana chahte hain!” Rahul whispered back furiously.
“You were saying, Dr Rahul?” Shashank asked directly at him.
“Uhmm..nothing sir.” Rahul replied, clearing his throat.
“So, I came here to inform all of you that I met the world famous cardiologist, Dr Harold during my trip to Mauritius.” He looked at all of them, apparently proud that he had managed to get on such good terms with a guy they had heard of, but didn’t care less about.
“Toh hume iski lecture ki sazaa kyun de raha hai?” Rahul whispered to Armaan, who shut him up.
“And after talking to him, he is willing to train one of you lot, for a period of 2 months. That means, you have the chance to travel to Melbourne, and be trained by the best cardiologist. This will put you in a much higher position anywhere in the world, not to mention the valuable skills you will learn from him, and might be able to apply here, when you come back.” This alerted every one of them. “If you choose to come back.” He added.

Wow, a chance in spending some time in Australia! And being trained by the best of the cardiologists around? Perfect! Riddhima, who had no hopes for any of this, looked around at others who’s eyes were shining. As soon as she looked at Armaan, he looked spaced out, as though in deep thought. What was he thinking about? She shook her head. It didn’t make a difference to her.
“As you guys, can see, we have another week till the end of the month. The intern of the month will be an automatic choice for this excellent opportunity. However, it’s not forced on anyone. The course will start in January 2011. So, good luck to all of you.” With these words, Shashank left.
“Wow, can you imagine it. Australia!” Muskaan screeched.
“A chance to excel.” Rahul corrected her, and she turned away from him.
“Tujhe kya lagta Ridzy?” Nikki asked.
“Great opportunity. I don’t think anyone should have a reason not to go.”
At that point, they were all asked to report to duty, and off they went.

The week went past in a haze for everyone. Each of them was striving hard to not let this slip. However, someone was working the hardest of the lot. Armaan. He had his own reasons. He did night duties, and though he was tired, studied every patient’s file and history thoroughly. Shanti got worried, seeing Armaan spend more time in the hospital as the days went past. When she tried to talk him, all she got was mono syllabic answers. Jai tried his hardest too, but Armaan refused to budge. If he managed to get this, he wouldn’t have to pursue his punishment for a whole month. But that wasn’t even close to the main reason. Riddhima worked normally. Because everyone was much more serious, she put in more effort too, but wasn’t particularly psyched about going some place else all alone for two whole months! A week was enough for her to spend alone, in some other part of the world. And she loved taking those occasional breaks. But all too soon she got home sick.

“So interns, we are here to decide the intern of the month. From past records, we can see Drs Armaan, Riddhima, Nikita, and Rahul have had the honour of having the post. But this month, things may change. So, without further ado, the intern of the month is..any guesses…Dr Armaan!”
Everyone clapped for him pleasantly, as Riddhima’s eyes shot up, to see him go take the award. The truth sunk into her. She actually never thought about it, but now it was staring at her in the face. Armaan, as he looked at the crowd, saw the envious look of Nikki, Rahul, and the admiration in Muskaan and Abhi’s face. But he searched the crowd for another face, and finally found it. Instead of seeing what he expected to see, happiness, even a blank look would have done, he saw fear in her eyes. Shock, and what was it? He couldn’t pin point the other feeling in her eyes. But before he could read further, her eyes met his, and she looked away. That’s when it hit him. It was loss. Or was it?
“So, as decided before, Dr Mallik, you have the chance to go to Australia. You have a week to think it over and organize everything, and then if you agree to do it, you will be there before new years, ready to start a new phase of your life, on a new year!” Shashank, who was still cheerful, left the stage and everyone else trooped out of the hall.

Shashank got into his cabin, and thought over what his daughter had told him the previous night. There had been an emergency, and he wanted to praise his daughter for handling it so well. But honestly, she told him she had been petrified. It was Armaan, who calmed her down, and took hold of the situation really well. He prepared the patient for the OT, and was ready to conduct the operation as time was going, if Dr Shubhankar and Anjali hadn’t arrived on time. Once they did, he stepped back after informing them of everything. Riddhima who had been around, and assisted in the operation, got the praise from Keerti, but couldn’t take false pride for something that was not her doing, in front of her father. Proud of his daughter’s honesty, he finally chose to give the award to Armaan.

Riddhima, knowing that duty was over, quickly made her way up to the terrace. Armaan was going. She was trying hard to digest that information. He was leaving her as well. What the heck, she had told him to stay away from her. She suddenly felt someone’s hand on her shoulder.
“Congratulations…” she whispered knowing the touch.
“Thanks…” he replied. “Tum khush ho na?” he added uncertainly.
“It doesn’t make a difference to me Armaan. As a friend, I am more than happy. And as a collegue, I am slightly jealous.” She made up these feelings, looking down so he could not read into her eyes. He nodded, believing her every word. She looked up and smiled at him. She could see him staring into a space, his lower jaw moving, as he was trying hard to bottle up his feelings.
“Riddhima main jaa raha hoon. I have two more weeks here, then who knows, maybe I’ll stay there forever? Tujhe koi farak nahin padta?” She breathed in deeply.
“I’m happy for you Armaan. More than happy. You have a chance of hitting excellence. And I know you’re naturally smart and what not. Who knows, maybe under his training, you could be the next best cardiologist?”
“But I wouldn’t be here.”
“So…”
“Riddhima the time we spent together, doesn’t it mean anything to you?” he asked looking at her directly. She felt a sword dig in her guts as she looked out at the car parked below.
“It did, Armaan. But not anymore.” She lied blatantly. Both did not have the courage to face each other and were looking out, into the setting sun instead. Armaan felt like he had received a blow in his stomach, causing him to double up. He opened his mouth, but words wouldn’t come out. His vision started blurring up slightly, as did hers.
“So, I should take this opportunity?”
“Go for it Armaan. It’ll do you good.”
“Fine…” He turned to her. “You’ll be fine?” Riddhima felt irritated. Why was he going through it over and over again? Didn’t he see how hard it was for her?
“Armaan, I’ll be perfect. What have you given me besides hurt, anyways? Things happen for the best. So go. Maybe by not seeing you everyday I’ll forget everything, which I’ve been trying to do!” She snapped harshly, and he felt his intestines squelch up within him. His heart bled for her, to tell him, just once, not to go. But she wouldn’t do that. She was right. What had he given her besides hurt?
“I’ll go inform them of my decision.” And he left, leaving her at the terrace to stare at the darkness that was enclosing her. She closed her eyes, as her heart started feeling heavy again. Her own words cut her. But if this meant he left, good. At least that way she would be able to get over him, and who knows, finally find someone to really love her? Closing her eyes, and praying for the best, she made her way to the entrance of the terrace.

The next week, everything calmed down in the hospital. The buzz of Christmas and new years was already there, but at the same time there was an aura of boredom. All they did was go from home to work, and back. Riddhima, still sad about Sapna’s departure, was now having a difficult time controlling herself. Finally, when weekend came, she sat at home, shut up in her room, furiously skipping all the love songs in her ipod. It was then when she saw Padma standing at the doorway, watching her.
“Mumma, aaiye na andar.” She asked as she took out her earphones. Padma came in and sat down on the bed next to her.
“Riddhima. Kya huwa?” Padma put her hand on her daughters. She noticed how her Riddhima looked so lost ever since they were back from Mauritius. Her dad was getting worried too. During their family dinner, she spaced out, and only responded to people when she was called. Otherwise, where was the chirpy girl who used to laugh at every little thing? Shashank’s best efforts at trying to crack lame jokes just to see his daughter smile, were going down the drain. Whereas before she would laugh whole heartedly, now she hardly smiled. And if she did, it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Kya huwa?” she asked her Mum slightly confused.
“Riddhima..” Padma slightly reprimanded her. “Dekh, everyone goes through tough times. But they become easier to get through when you have someone with you.”
“Mumma…” Riddhima finally mustered up the courage to look at her mother. The eyes seemed so promising. And it was true, her mother was always there for her. And wasn’t like Shashank, to rush into decisions. Or like Armaan, for that matter.
“Mumma…how easy is it to forget an event and move on?” she asked, putting her head on Padma’s shoulder.
“When things happen that affect us deeply, we never forget it. We learn to live with it.” Padma replied.
“Mumma…I…main kissi se bohot pyaar karti hoon.” She mumbled, looking down. Whatever reaction she was anticipating, she could never guess what Padma said next.
“Armaan se?” Riddhima, shocked, looked up at her Mum.
“Aapko…”
“Main teri maa hoon. Mujhe sab pata chalta hai.” She smiled and hugged Padma.
“Mumma, what if it’s hard to live with the thing that affects us the most?” Padma looked at her confused but Riddhima could not build on it.
“Look beta, many things in life need courage, but sometimes, you need to back down, and let life take its course. Tujhe kaise pata? Tumhaara bura aaj, ek khubsurat kal ki shuruat hosakta hai.” Riddhima hugged her Mum once again. At that point, Shashank called Padma, and she had to leave.
“Beta, jo kuch bhi hojaaye. Agar hass kar har mushqil ka saamna karogi, toh apne aap himmat mil jaayegi.” Padma left with those words leaving Riddhima in a huge whirlpool of thoughts.
“But what if your strength is the thing that’s leaving you in the first place?” she quietly questioned herself.

It was a Monday again and Riddhima walked into the locker room, surprised to see everyone there already.
“Aaj sab ko record todne ka iraada hai kya?” she asked simply as they looked at her.
“Shayad tumhaara. Time toh theek se dekh,” and Riddhima realized her watch was 15 minutes behind. Riddhima looked around, and saw Armaan was missing. But she didn’t have the courage to everyone where he was.
“Arman kahaan hai?” Rahul asked and she just shrugged her shoulders.
“Lagta hai tumhaare intezaar main pichli baar ki tarha pagal hogaya hoga.” Muskaan joked. Riddhima smiled at them and looked down. Where was he? Was he really worried about her…or? Was he even in the hospital? She felt her heart pick up pace. The announcement broke her train of thoughts, and they all headed to the nurse station. Well, she would see him there.
“Dr Riddhima, path lab, Dr Rahul, Children’s ward, with Dr Atul supervising. Dr Muskaan and Dr Abhimanyu will be in the general ward, and Dr Nikita will be in the OPD with Dr Anjali. And interns, one more thing. Dr Armaan will not be joining us from now onwards until he finishes his 2 month programme in Melbourne. You can start your duties.”

The buzz between everyone started, and Riddhima felt her heart drop. So he had chosen to leave. Could she blame him? She asked him to go away from her life. And he did, that easily? Maybe he should go. That was how it was supposed to be. After all, everything happens for the best doesn’t it? She walked past the fire escape, and remembered the times he pulled her into there. Smiling at the memory, she shook her head. Immediately his words on that fateful day circled her head. She couldn’t. Swallowing hard, she moved on with work.

“Ridzy! Armaan jaa raha hai. He’s come to the hospital to say good bye. He’s leaving for Melbourne in a bit!” Anjali said. Riddhima hadn’t contacted him at all, over the past week, and it was a Friday now. What the? He was leaving already? How? How had the days passed by so quickly?
“I hope he has a safe journey.” She replied slowly, calming herself down. Anjali looked at her.
“Ridz, I know you love him a lot. But long distance relationships can work.” She insisted.
“Di, we broke up.” Riddhima finally managed to tell her.
“Kya? When, How, Where I mean why?” Anjali was flabbergasted. They could work this relationship. So what if he went away. Then again, maybe he was looking to there for good.
“I don’t want to talk about it, please.” Riddhima put her head in her locker. Unknowingly, tears started to get the better of her. He had always been there for her. Whenever she needed someone. And she couldn’t forget the one mistake he made? She couldn’t! It was impossible to guarantee that he won’t break her again. But she had to move on with it she reminded herself as she remembered her Mum’s words. Her heart started beating furiously, as she remembered each and every moment of theirs. The way he always knew when she was around. The way he was always there for her. The time he showed her his favourite spot. The time in Lonavla, when he wouldn’t want to let go of her. The emotions those push ups arose in them. The small banters and arguments between them. Their time in Goa. The fight between girls vs boys, and the way he openly admitted to being defeated against her during the song. Him trying to romance with her at every chance possible. How could she let it all go so easily? Bowing her head at those memories, she didn’t realize when Anjali left. Her tears slipped, but she wiped them. It was impossible to forget those memories. But it was just as impossible to forget the feeling of being betrayed. Why had he done that? Why did he not believe her? Why did he give so much importance to Arjun and Sasha in the first place? She was about to bang her hand on the locker in front of her, when someone held it just in time.
“Basket…”
“Don’t call me that! And don’t you get it. Don’t come near me!” she said in scathing voice. What was she so angry about now? Him leaving? She questioned herself. But she had told him to do that herself! He let go of her hand. She turned to face him, and looked into his eyes. They had tones of agony in them. Which she wanted to erase by taking him in her arms. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t let go of all that happened. It was not possible for her!
“Armaan what do you want?” she asked, frustrated, trying to wipe out the vision of his in depth, emotional blues. He swallowed.
“I came to say bye.” She looked up at him again. He could notice the sense of desolation in her green. He would never, ever, forget her. Forget what he had done to her. “You’ll always stay happy right?”
“You won’t be there to hurt me.” she replied quietly, as she stared at the floor again. What was she doing? Her heart was screaming at her brain to stop moving her mouth against her will! Why wouldn’t she admit it? She would miss him an awful lot! It would be like trying to breathe without oxygen! She didn’t want him to go. Heck, he didn’t WANT to go! But he was going for her good! She couldn’t deny him the once in a lifetime opportunity! Her brain screamed back. Armaan felt her words dig into his soul, rupturing it apart.
“So…bye then” he finally said, and moved away. Riddhima remained silent looking down on the floor.

(Sad tune)
Hum se hassi, (Armaan looked back at her, she was now crying)
Hum se khushi, (He turned, and closed his eyes, knowing he was leaving his life behind her)
Hai humise Zindagi, (She looked at his retreating back, unknowingly, he was taking a part of her with him. But he always had it, no matter what he did.)
Taare hum zameen par le aaye, (she broke down, and melted onto the floor, letting bottled up tears fall down freely)
Hum laaye hain roshni (All her times with him, flashed through her inner vision, as she wanted to scream for him)

What was she doing? Letting him go? The reason she had found to live for, was being snatched away from her? Or rather she was pushing it away! Even without bidding a goodbye. If she would regret anything later on, then she would curse herself for not saying a bye at least. Getting up, she felt her legs run after him.

Dill jahaan dost wahaan (Armaan hugged Atul, who had tears in his eyes)
Aisa manzar aur kahaan (He pulled Muskaan’s cheeks, who was crying along with Nikki)

Rahul and Abhi hugged him, and so did Anjali.
“Please, Basket ka khayal rakhna. Make sure her smile is always on her face.” He whispered to Anjali, who nodded, between her tears. Riddhima got to the entrance, and saw him there, hugging everyone for the final time.
“Armaan…” she half whispered, and half called, not bothering to stop the tears. No one else noticed her there, but he looked at her, and slowly went towards her. They both just stood there, half a meter apart, staring at each other, their eyes doing all the talking. She was pleading him not to go. Not to leave her, but he couldn’t help it. Everything was decided. There was no turning back now. Even if he wanted to.
“You don’t have to leave because of me.” She finally whispered.
“I’m not leaving because of you. Don’t give yourself too much importance.” He whispered back, a very gentle tone of mockery in his voice, quoting her, and she found herself smile at his stupidness. In an instant, she pulled him towards her, and hid her face in his chest. So many unsaid things went in that hug. He put his arms slowly around her. She had forgiven him for everything. She still loved him. But there was no point in bringing this forward. He pulled her to himself tighter, not wanting to let go as she was sobbing onto his shirt. Why did he have to go? Couldn’t they just continue fighting? Anything, as long as he was there, in front of her. She remembered how the week had passed by and every single place in the hospital reminded her of him. Was this going to happen for two whole months? And who knew? Maybe forever? They couldn’t bring anything to their lips.

Armaan was battling his brain out with his heart. She had to move on, with someone who would not hurt her as much as he did, he concluded. She would find someone, definitely. And that someone would make her laugh more than he ever did. That someone would never make her cry. That someone wouldn’t be the person who hurt his loved ones the most, unintentionally be it. What about him? Wouldn’t seeing her with someone else break him apart? Wouldn’t it put him through inevitable torment? He tightened his grip on her, wanting to lock her there, forever. She wanted nothing less. Why?
“I’m so sorry..for everything I did. Everything.” He murmured. They finally split apart and she looked up at him. He framed her face, and put his head against hers. Gosh, he would miss her terribly.
“Don’t miss me.” He whispered.
“Not on your life…” she answered back slowly, knowing every word of it was untrue.
“Good. I don’t deserve it. You’ll find someone who’ll give you a lot more happiness than I could ever.”
“Anyone could…” she replied, and he knew she did not mean it. The words coming out of her mouth, were partly sarcastic, partly to help her, and partly to torture him, a habit she had not let go of. Even when they were together. Torturing would be through drama about no one loving her, physical torture as she continuously hit him, or torture when she would purposely not let him come near her. Digging back to those memories was like cutting himself forcefully with a blunt knife. The pain doubled.
“You’ll be much happier…” he was trying to convince himself, though he knew that for him, it would be endless nights of grief, distress and suffering. “Can…can I… call you…from there?” he asked hesitantly. She shook her head in reply, and he closed his eyes, his forehead still against hers. Another weight dropped onto his heart, as she put her hands up, and wiped away his tears. He opened his eyes to take in her features, absorb them, and she sniffed once, and he felt another set of tears fall on to tip of his thumb. She nodded and he gave her watery smile.
“I’ll miss you a hell lot, basket.” he whispered, meaning every word of it.
“No…don’t…call me basket…” she replied furiously. He laughed at her stubbornness, sniffing.
“Basket…”
“Idiot…”
“Basket…” She closed her eyes. She was going to need him. At least in front of her. Just so she knew he was there for her. Just for her heart’s content. But something refused her from telling him. Right now, it would be hard to accept him again anyway. Her brain was totally against it. And so was her ego. She had to let him go. She had to let him move on, and she had to move on. Then if the best way of doing that was by staying away from each other, then be it. She knew that if she called him once, and told him she needed him, he would rush back to her. But she couldn’t. Closing her eyes, she finally felt his lips on her cheeks, kissing her tears away. Then he put his lips once more on her forehead, and finally pulled himself away from her.
“Bye Basket…”
“Bye Armaan,” she replied, felling her heart tear apart. She wanted to scream for him, tell him not leave her. As he moved away, looking at her, walking backwards, she walked forwards. Forcing his body to respond, he finally turned around, and walked to his car, sitting in the driver’s seat, looking at his father, who was next to him, and his mother, who was weeping silently, behind. Through the side mirror, he glanced back at Riddhima, who was sinking to the floor, not removing her gaze from him. Anjali supported her. Their gazes met in the mirror, and her eyes pleaded him not go, as continuos tears made their way out. They begged him to not leave her alone. But he had to, if she would be happy, and tearing his gaze away, he started the engine. She hugged Anjali, and sobbed uncontrollably, her eyes still on the mirror. He finally looked back at her and felt his heart, for the final time, try and stop him. Fixing his gaze on the road in front, he drove forward, taking Riddhima’s life with him.

Hum to chale they dost banke (Anjali hugged Riddhima tightly, trying to calm her down, but Riddhima would not hear of it)
Jaane kahaan Dill Mill Gayye (Armaan was in the airplane, and took out a picture of Riddhima. Holding it close to his heart, he whispered an “I love you,”)
Hmmm hmmm mmm (Riddhima still held onto Anjali as everyone came around her to try comfort her)
Jaane kahaan Dill Mill Gayye (The plane took off, taking Armaan with it)

Broken – Lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Sanna
p.s by punam

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