Sunday, 15 February 2015

part 2:Life out of control(season 3)

The world started spinning ten times as fast around her, as though it was making up for the times it had stopped. He also, after he saw her, couldn’t stop staring into her greens. Just one word managed to escape from her lips,

The longing, the sudden desire to just run to him and take him in her arms was bursting through her. But her brain froze all her muscles. How could she do that when there was nothing between them anymore? While her heart was bursting with this new un-describable emotion, her brain reprimanded her, chanting, ‘He left you!’ She could not stop loosing herself in him. His blue oceans still held the depth that they used to, the same depth that she wanted to drown into. She could make out Armaan breaking away from the rest of them, and ever so slowly, taking one step at a time, closing the distance between them.

Armaan had a choice to make after his training. The Royal Melbourne Hospital was all too glad to have him as a permanent doctor there. However after speaking to Riddhima, he had felt nostalgic, and extremely home sick. He knew he did not belong there. So he asked them for a week’s leave, while he could see his Basket, then figure out what to do. He had not wanted to inform anyone but his family about his arrival. And he strictly told his mother to not say a word to Riddhima. After quite a few grueling hours in the plane, and 1 stopover, he finally put his feet back on the Mumbai soil. And didn’t it feel wonderful returning back to his home town! His Mum had tears of happiness, while his father had a proud smile on his face. Before, that would have been enough to make him feel like he had done the best job in the world. But now, it didn’t
make much difference. Knowing duty hours would finish soon in Sanjeevani, he quickly got freshened up, and got into his bike making his way there. He pictured her coming down the steps, with the bounce in her steps, as she smiled and waved to the Umar bhai, in her pinkish chooridar. That’s when it hit him that he hadn’t planned anything or thought about it. Impulsive decisions as always! He mentally scolded himself. What would he say if he saw her? But it was too late. Carefully, he took his helmet off as he looked at the place that had his life. After a lot of contemplating, he moved towards the entrance of the hospital. There, Rahul who was studying a file at the nurse station looked up, took a glance at him then went back to his file. As though realization dawned on him, he looked up suddenly at Armaan, and a smile burst on his face.
“Rahul..?” They both went to each other and hugged like long lost brothers.
“Kaisa hai tu? Yaar, you’ve become so thin!” Rahul exclaimed as he slapped Armaan on his back. Gradually everyone else came and welcomed Armaan ecstatically, asking about Australia, and the famous doctor. Muskaan and Nikki were surprised and amazed that it was Armaan in front of them. They couldn’t even picture what Riddhima’s reaction would be like. But for now, they loved the fact their friend was back. Abhi was the last to get there, and same suit followed. But Armaan’s eyes searched for that one person he specially came to see. And finally, when he turned, there she was. Her eyes widened in shock as she took in his features. For him, it was as though finally his prayers had been accepted after ages of torture and agony, like the light at the end of a huge, dark tunnel. As he caught her eyes, there was an unidentified emotion in her. He was sure the shock was there, but it was mixed with confusion and if he wasn’t mistaken, elation? Something in her eyes was begging him to take her in his arms again. Surely he was wrong? She had to be hating him! He couldn’t figure out this feeling inside her. It didn’t make sense to him. She was happy seeing him? How? Didn’t she have a perfect life without him? Before he came into her life again, didn’t she have a content life? He had no idea when he started taking slow steps towards her.

Still lost in each other, Armaan stood in front of her. A lot less than a meter away. Their times of pain and being without each other flashed between them, like a movie. Riddhima felt her heart pounding against her ribs and was sure he could hear it. But if he did, he showed no sign; Maybe because he was busy worried about his own heart being heard by everyone. Her lips parted slightly as she tried to say his name again. But this time her voice was stuck. Here she was, wishing he would appear in front of her, out of thin air, for the past two, maybe more, months. And now that he was, she was tongue tied!

“Arre yaar,” Rahul put in, saving the situation. “Hi’s baad mein bol lena. Abhi ke liye chalo Gabbar ke paas. She will be so proud to see you. Pichle do mahino se she’s been going about what a great opportunity you got!”. Him and Abhi dragged Armaan along to Dr Keerti, while Riddhima was still left in shock. The rest of the staff, apart from the friends, had resumed back to their duties, whispering excitedly about Armaan’s return.
“Ridzy tu theek hai na?” Nikki asked concerned. Riddhima came out of her thoughts, and looked at her, smiling fakely.
“Yeh, I’m fine. I’m ok.”
“Are you sure? Can we help?” Muskaan put in.
“Muskaan, tu mujhe kya samajhti hai? Mein itni kamzor nahin hoon. I’m a big girl. I can handle all this. So, aaj raat ka kya plan hai? Friday hai.”
Muskaan also smiled.
“Pata nahin yaar. Mere mummy daddy aa rahe hain next week, so before they get here mujhe khoob mazaa karna hai!”
“So dinner at my house? Waise bhi, koi ghar pe nahin hai.” Riddhima announced.
“Yeh sure, phir movie!” Nikki joined in.
“Perfect. Sab ko kehdo.” She looked at her watch. It was 7:30. Muskaan ran to tell the others when Riddhima called her again, and she skidded on the tiled floor.
“Kya hai? I nearly fell!”
“Should I order Pizza for dinner or you want to make something?”
“I’m great with Pizza.”
“Sab ko pooch when you see them.”
Nikki was on the phone with Sid and said,
“Sid wants margarita.”
“Urgh! What does he see in that! Itne saare tomatoes hote hain ismein.” Riddhima murmured.

She went to the locker room again and swiftly turned for the changing room. She was sure she had left her phone there. And yep, there it was. No calls, nothing. Stuffing it inside her bag, she turned just in time to see Armaan come in, alone.

Armaan had been accosted by Rahul and Abhi since the time he had set foot in Sanjeevani. They refused to let him go out of their sight and bored him with details of how boring Sanjeevani had been without him. Sure he was grateful to them for cutting the ice between him and basket, but he had wanted to speak to her. Probably less than she wanted to speak to him. Finally, with an excuse of going to the washroom, he escaped their grasp, wanting some alone time to figure out what he had seen in her eyes. And there she was right in front of him. Somehow, he found his voice, and made the first move.
“Hi…” he whispered to her, and she tore her eyes away from his face, looked down and replied with the same tone,
There was then this silence between them, each wondering of what to say to the other. Riddhima opened her mouth a few times, but decided better and shut it again. Finally, she just walked to the door, and when she passed him, he held her hand, stopping her. She froze in her tracks. His touch was still the same!
“Kaisi ho?”
Was he stupid? She wondered. Couldn’t he see his effect on her? Then how did he really think she had been keeping? Taking a breath, she looked back and forced the corners of her lips to turn upwards.
“I’m fine.” She looked at the hand he was holding, and he let go of her, as though afraid he would harm her by his touch.
“Sorry,” he whispered. She moved towards the entrance, but stopped there.
“You heard about the dinner?” She asked, forcing her voice to come out.
“Yeah. Haan maine sunna.” He replied, smiling at her.
“Uhmm…” she fumbled with her ring on her finger, “tum aaoge na?” He looked up at her, surprised. He thought she wouldn’t want him there! What was going on in her mind?
“Ghar pe, I need to spend time with Mum.”
She wanted to look back at him, but wasn’t able to.
“Ok…” she replied, nodding her head.
“But…shayad after dinner.”
“Right. See you then.” She dared to look into his eyes again, trying to read them. She could see they were shining, however were still dull. He was also staring at her. How much he had missed her! She had been on his mind every single minute of each day! And her green eyes! They had haunted him pleasantly to no ends. He noticed her eyes had lost their natural shine.

“Ridzy! Kahaan hai tu?” Muskaan called, breaking their trance, as she skipped into the locker room. Riddhima quickly stepped out of the changing room, and went to Muskaan who chanted off the list to her.
“Abhi aur Rahul decided on pepperoni. Nikki ko simply cheese chahiye, aur mujhe mushroom with olives. Tujhe?”
“I’ll have a bit of everything. Actually…” That was the last of the conversation Armaan heard as they walked out of the locker room. Why didn’t people see, that Riddhima was putting all this on? She wasn’t really as happy as she made out to be. He splashed water on his face, like he had a million times before in this very place. Why did things turn out the way they did? He cursed himself like he had everyday, for taking the decisions he took that fateful day.

Riddhima opened the door to see the pizza delivery boy with a stack of pizzas.
“Thanks,” she paid him and went to get the plates and cutlery in the kitchen. Everyone was already there, apart from Armaan, and Nikki helped her, while Muskaan fought with Rahul.
“Dekh kaisa zamaana aa gaya hai. Best friends kitchen mein kaam rahe hain, aur tum ho ki maharani jaise yahaan bethi ho, mujhse ladne keliye?” Rahul asked Muskaan, tutting at the fact she didn’t help her friends.
“Best friends sirf mere nahin hai. Tumhaare bhi hai. Phir bhi ek gadthe ki tarha yahaan sofa par so rahe ho.”
“Mein gadha to tu gadhi!” Rahul replied in a sweeter tone. Muskaan smiled, slightly too sarcastically.
“Really?” she walked over him, hugging a pillow. “Kitna pyaar karte ho na mujhse?” and Rahul nodded, as though it was fact. “Saale kameene! Mujhe gadhi bulata hai tu! Sharam nahin aati?” and she pounced on him with a cushion trying to hit every spare part of him she could.
“Muskaan yaar…” Rahul tried to put in. “Mujhe…ouch..abhi maarogi…ouff..toh shaadi kaun karega tujhse?” This just resulted in more blows from the cushion.

“Guys! Khaana tayyar hai!” Riddhima did not want to vacuum her Mum’s well kept carpet and they all went on the table to eat. Between mouthfuls of pizza, they made fun of each other, but Riddhima kept listening up for the doorbell. She didn’t join in any of the teasing, but half smiled when everyone else laughed.
“Chal let’s help washing up,” Muskaan told Riddhima.
“Nahin, its ok. Kal Saturday hai na. I’ll do it then.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeh perfectly.” Riddhima thought she was lazy but after knowing Muskaan, wow! Muskaan would do anything to get out of a chore she found boring!

They settled themselves in the sitting room, and Sid had brought Dabangg, along with him. But Riddhima HATED Salman Khan! (I’m not bashing Salman Khan guys!)
“No WAY! We’re not watching this!” she demanded.
“Oyy! Itni achchi picture hai!” Sid exclaimed.
“Haan, without a story!” she replied. Just then she heard the doorbell ring, and went to open the door, leaving Muskaan fighting with Sid. Sid was a hardcore Salman fan, while Muskaan still hadn’t gotten over Shahid Kapoor and wanted to watch Kaminey. Riddhima opened the door, to find Armaan, dressed in the outfit she loved the most on him, blue jeans and black shirt, standing with his head down. She noticed he had lost some weight, and the shirt hung slightly loosely on him. She diverted her gaze away from him as soon as he looked up, wondering why she could not control her heart.

Armaan had to think a thousand times before he made each decision. He was almost on the verge of leaving without ringing the doorbell. What would he tell her? Not trusting her was biggest kind of blasphemy he had committed in his whole life. And not that he was trying to get her back, but even if he did, he was sure she would never come back to him. And he couldn’t blame her. She had a good reason to. But how could he pass by a chance of seeing her? Trying to sort the muddle his brain and heart was in, he finally rang the bell, as he went back to his conversation that evening.


“Tu jaa. I’m sure voh abhi bhi tujhse pyaar karti hai.” Shanti was telling him.
“Nahin Mum. She deserves someone better. Someone who doesn’t hurt her like I have.” He could feel tears prick his eyes.
“Dekh, if you don’t try and find out, you never know. Shayad voh tujhe maaf kar chuki hogi.”
“Even if she does, I will never be able to forgive myself.” He held on to his mother for support. Finally, she managed to convince him to go, for the sake of Riddhima, as she had personally asked him to come.

Flashback ends

So here he was, staring into her beautiful face, as he noticed how divine she looked in a red t-shirt and a black, long, casual skirt, with her hair clipped up.
“Hi.” She whispered. “Andar aao.”
“Hi. Thanks,” he replied formally. Riddhima laughed slightly and he stopped in his tracks.
“Kya huwa?” she shook her head.
“Is there something on my face?” he asked concerned.
“No, you look fine. I just…kuch nahin.” she lowered her eyes and closed the door quietly.
“Riddhima…” her name sounded so amazing from his lips. She remembered how curious he was.
“It’s the first time you’re here through the door.” She replied quietly, and led the way to the sitting room, as Armaan looked thoughtfully at her.

“Kaminey mein Priyanka doesn’t even look hot! Ohk lets watch fashion!” Sid suggested.
“Shahid looks hot enough!” Muskaan replied, and Rahul coughed slightly to make his presence known, but to no avail.
“Ohk, you want to watch Shahid, lets watch Jab we met? Kareena looks amazing in that!”
“Tu pagal hogaya hai? Maine pehle bhi kahaa that I’ve watched the movie a million times!”
“Heyy guys.” Armaan entered.
“Great. Armaan you decide!” Muskaan told him. “Shah Rukh Khan Movie, Salman Khan, ya phir Shahid Kapoor?”
“Heyy Armaan, have you met my cousin by the way. That’s Sid.” Abhi put in. Sid got up and went to Armaan to shake his hands, with a weird, scared expression on his face.
Armaan’s brows scrunched up. That face was slightly familiar before. Where had he seen him? He delved back in his memory and Bingo!
“Hi! To tumhaara naam Sid hai?” Sid’s eyes widened and he looked at Abhi who was listening to the conversation. He shook his head
“Tumhaara naam Sid nahin hai?”
“Hai yaar. I’m Sid. Siddhant Modi. You must be the famous Doctor Mallik?”
“Where have I…”he was stopped by Sid making a sign with his hind slicing his throat, then pointing back Abhi, over his own shoulder with his thumb.
I think I….” Armaan finally got to know what Sid was trying to say, and raised his eyebrows, then shut up. “Right, so Sid, you’re doing medicine too?” Sid relaxed and passed him a grateful smile, then answered his question.

Riddhima was watching the exchange between them. Weird, but she didn’t bother much with it. They finally settled with Golmaal 3, and Riddhima was not in the mood of watching something comic, though she still sat down below the sofa, next to Sid.
“So, he’s back?” Sid whispered. Riddhima looked at him. Was he really as dumb as the question was?
“Nahin. Abhi bhi Australia mein hai. Yeh uska bhoot hai yahaan.” She replied sarcastically, while he laughed slightly.
“Don’t worry, sab kuch theek hojayega.” Sid side hugged Riddhima then withdrew his arm, concentrating on the movie. However Armaan, not being able to keep his eyes away from Riddhima, had seen that side hug and wondered what it was all about. Plus he had a few questions to ask Sid.

Riddhima finally excused herself after 20 minutes of the movie. She didn’t know when the song was going to come, but it would. And she didn’t want to remember their carefree times, when she and Armaan used to be so in love. Used to be? Heck she still loved him to the core of her heart! She looked at the plates, cutlery and left over Pizzas kept on the counter. Well to begin with, she could start by sorting that out.

Armaan watched her leave, and the others were too engrossed in their laughter to notice her escape. Maybe she had gone to get herself a glass of water. But when she didn’t come back after 5 minutes, he too excused himself and walked silently to the kitchen. There she was, putting away everything and clearing it all, though she despised that job! Nevertheless, he just watched her at the entrance, while her head was bowed, silently.
“Paani hai?” he finally asked, and she got startled at this sudden voice. She took out a glass and some water from the fridge and kept it on the counter.
“Help yourself.” She replied.
“I just came to let you know, that this is not the first time I came through this door.” He observed her reaction. Her face looked lost in thought. Of course, the day he came for the diwali party, the time he came after the Goa trip. He had used the door those times. She frowned. How she hated being wrong! He felt his lips tug at the ends. She turned to the sink, and looked at the pile of dishes she had to wash. Armaan meanwhile put the water back as an awkward, piercing silence between began.

Riddhima was finding it hard to breathe freely. Closing her eyes, she just wished he would go. Go away from here. Away from her. No matter how much their distance hurt. Either stay away, or be with her. But this time where they were both trying to behave normally with each other had to be nothing short of torture. She longed for him to take her in his arms and erase the last few months from memory. But it was to no avail. He looked over at the pizza leftovers.
“Urgh, margarita.” He whispered to himself but she heard him. They both hated tomatoes. Armaan more than Riddhima. He absolutely despised them. However, when cooked into food, he would not know at all. She waited for him to check the other flavour.
“Much better!” he said out loud as he saw Hawaaii. She smiled to herself as she opened the tap, knowing that was his favourite. And she had purposely asked for that when she was talking to Muskaan, when they left the locker room. He dug into his favourite pizza leaving the margarita untouched. Gosh, where did all that appetite come from suddenly? Back in Melbourne, he didn’t feel like having anything! It was as though he used to live off Riddhima’s memories and photos.

Riddhima continued with the washing as the silence prevailed between them. Her heart felt so heavy! She raised her hand to put behind the fringes that were coming out of her clipped up hair and framing her face and felt him coming close to her, however did not move an inch. Instead, he put his hands forward under the tap, then took one look at her, and burst out laughing. She frowned in response.
“Kya hai?” but he did not reply, still laughing at her. What the hell? “Armaan, jaldi batao!” After closing the tap, he dragged her over to the closest mirror, at the other wash basin just outside the kitchen. There was a stream of soap suds on the fringes she had just put back! She felt her face flush, and washed them off, as Armaan continued laughing at her.
“Nice one Riddhima. You looked like you had hit your 50s!” he gasped, as she narrowed her eyes at him.
“Really?” and he nodded, trying to keep his laughter inside, but failing miserably. She took a cup of water in her hands and poured it down his neck, wetting him thoroughly.
“Huh? What was that for?” he asked, simply astonished.
“Mujhe buddhi bulane ke liye, Mallik!” she replied.
“Achcha..??” he narrowed his eyes at her. “Basket ki bacchi!” and he moved his hands forward to grab her, but she evaded his grasp and ran into the kitchen giggling. It was as though all the distance and awkwardness between them had been lost in thin air. That one incident took them back to the first time they became friends, and pulled each others’ legs constantly! She rushed to the store, and still giggling, found herself cornered. Armaan took long strides and saw her there. Not bothering to switch on the lights, he advanced on her.
“Armaan, kya kar rahe ho?” she asked warily, with amusement still in her eyes but subsided laughter.
“Badla le raha hoon!” he wanted to tickle her until she begged for forgiveness. She found herself trapped and Armaan did not stop his advance. Finally, he was less than a few centimeters away from her, and found himself getting lost in her fragrance. All thoughts of torturing her were thrown out of the window, as he saw her eyes close.

Her heart skipped a few beats feeling him this close to her. It was what she had wanted for ages! And especially since he had come back. All she had wanted was to be locked in his arms forever. Feeling his hot breath on her face made her loose control. He still smelt the same. He unclipped her hair, and she shut her eyes tighter as she felt her tresses fall down her back. Moving his arms around to her waist, he held her and pulled her closer to himself. His nose brushed hers and she could hear both their breathing go ragged.

Armaan had lost all control on himself. Since he had come a meter within her, he could not keep his senses. The only thing he wanted to do was close this distance between them. And that was exactly what he did not listening to his brain, that screamed at him to go away from her. He kicked his brain instincts behind, and instead grabbed her waist. It felt amazing having her in his arms again. Being this close to her was all he could think of over the past couple of months. And now that he was, he didn’t ever want to let go. He bowed his head down, to meet hers, and nuzzled into her cheeks, feeling them turn hot. He moved further down, and hid his face in her hair, taking in all that he missed so much when they weren’t together.

She put her hands into his hair that had grown quite a bit, scratching his scalp with her fingers. This sudden closeness between them was doing her head in. It left her craving for more! She pulled him closer to her. God this woman would drive him crazy! In response, he caressed her back, and pulled apart joining his head with hers. That was all he needed to feel at ease. The pain he had been through was long forgotten, and all his resolutions to stay away from her were too. She put her face into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent. He still smelt the same!

“Ridzy, tum poori film miss karogi if you don’t come out of the kitchen!” Muskaan’s voice broke their reverie. WTF? Riddhima pulled out and looked at how close they had been. In response, she pushed him away from her. How could she lose control of herself like that? What the hell? She looked up at his eyes, which portrayed guilt and shock at what had happened. Trying to co-ordinate, she quickly ran out of the store, leaving him there, staring at the wall blankly.

Armaan disregarded Muskaan’s call, and had not bothered to go away from her. It felt as though the past few months had been wiped out, and she still loved him, the same way. Being pushed back, however, brought him back to his senses. He looked into her eyes, and there was this unknown fear in them. She looked like she had a battle going on inside her. Realization dawned on him. What the hell had he been doing? How had he lost control over himself so easily? She was the perfect one. She didn’t deserve him. She deserved loads better! He made up his mind. He would never loose it again. Why did he come back in the first place?! Every decision he took was always wrong! Slamming his palms against the wall, he made his way out.

Riddhima who was seated on the carpet was intently gazing at the T.V. However, she wasn’t following what was going on. Her mind was back in the store, when Armaan had his arms around her. It had felt so right, so perfect, that now she came to think of it, she wouldn’t mind being back there with him. A sudden blush creeped up on her face as she thought about it. But how on earth was it always Armaan who shattered the walls she built around herself? She had not let proximity of that sort with anyone else even brush her feelings. But suddenly, when it was Armaan, he could come as close to her as he liked and her heart would pick up pace as though it had come from a full on sprint!

“So sid, kya chakkar hai?” Armaan whispered to him as he took Riddhima’s old place.
“Kiski baat kar rahe ho?” Sid whispered back, all innocent.
“Itna natak sehat ke liye achcha nahin hota.”
“Natak kaun kar raha hai?” Sid asked looking around.
“Heyy mystery dude! Apna naam toh uss din hotel mein bata diya hota.” Armaan whispered furiously. “I couldn’t even thank you properly!”
“It’s ok, abh kehdo. Main jaanta hoon, main bohot achcha hoon. Sab ka dil jod leta hoon…”
“Chup kar!”
“…Bohot mahaan hoon.”

Armaan drifted back to the day him and Riddhima had their first fight over Sasha. Sid was the same guy who made him see sense! He wished Sid had been present when he broke up with her as well. At least he would have seen sense and NOT broken their relationship!
“Waise…did you manage to keep the girl?” Sid asked, knowing the answer perfectly. He had put together everything the day Riddhima showed him Armaan’s picture, which she had been unable to delete from her phone. After asking indirect questions, he was able to put the pieces together.

“Meri chod. Why did you not want Abhi to know that I know you?”
“Tumhaari influence bohot kharab hai.” Sid replied casually, with a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Meri influence? Abhi dikhata hoon tujhe. Abhi…” Armaan called him, and Sid looked at him shocked. He gripped his hand tightly and shook his head slowly.
“Can you pass me the popcorn?” Armaan continued. “So, bata raha hai, ya…” Armaan popped a bit of popcorn into his mouth.
“Theek hai mere baap!” Sid replied disgruntled. “That time, I had escaped from home, Chennai, because my Mum wouldn’t let me breathe! She would shove girls’ photos every minute of every single day, down my throat. I was just about to complete college. So I lied to her that I was going to Lonavla. Kyunki she would force me to stay at Abhi’s if she knew I came to Mumbai!” He continued whispering sideways, taking occasional glances at ABhi, who was not paying attention to anything but the movie. “And then, mujhe koi freedom nahin milti, kyunki she would set up Abhi’s mother, to set a track on me, see agar koi ladki ka chakkar hai. Aur jab se Dostana dekhi hai, tabse mere peeche padi huwi hai, thinking I don’t want to get married because I’m…” He stopped half way. “Yeah..Moms!” he sighed.
“Achcha, so why don’t you want Abhi to know now?”
“Kyunki voh Mom ko phone karega, he’ll ask why I didn’t stay with him in Mumbai, and Mom ko pata hi nahin that I was Mumbai! Then everything will fall apart, and Mom will emotionally blackmail me to see a girl and get married and live like her and Dad in Chennai!”
“Right..Mom se jhoot bol raha hai? Sharam nahin aati?” Armaan looked at him, disgustedly, but in a mocking way. He himself had lied to his Mum a million times already.
“Mr Mallik. Aap kitne mahaan ho.” Sid said sarcastically, joining his hands in front of him and bowing his head. “How was I to know that 3 months later, some certain idiot, who doesn’t know how to keep his loved ones would come and blackmail me!” Sid replied in a furious, but not serious tone. “Ek toh help karo upar se get blackmailed. Meri kismat hi phooti huwi hai.” He grumbled.
“Abhi must be blind. How didn’t he see you that day?”
“Kyunki I saw him before and left with my friends.” Sid concentrated back on the movie. His previous dialogue had hit target as Armaan looked over at Riddhima who was engrossed in the design of the carpet rather than the movie. Armaan stared at her as he thought to himself. Sid was right, he couldn’t keep his loved ones.

p.s bypunam

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