Thursday, 13 October 2016

part 8: A gypsy's fantacy

"Rahul I'm going mad here."
"Why?" Rahul threw the ball through the hoop watching it dribble back to him, "are you going mad, baby?"
Muskaan plopped down on the recliner and crossed her legs, "well? For starters Armaan fell off the face of the Earth. It's been a week! A week! Where the hell is he? And Second, Shilpa is losing it. Do you know what she's been doing? Literally? Writing his name everywhere! She's been writing his name on the walls of Modhis!" she huffed, "only last night we were talking about the weather, which by the way is going colder and she was like yeah, it's too hot nowadays isn't it?' and she had this funky notebook in her hand and she was scribbling his name and drawing floral patterns all around it."
"You don't say," Rahul had another perfect shoot.
"Rahul!" Muskaan shrieked making him laugh.
"Armaan Malik is in denial. Shilpa is a little crack. Nothing new."
"She's getting married in a week Rahul. News Flash! Can't afford another week of denial from Armaan."
"Muskaan, stop worrying already. Both of them are cracked in the head but I do trust their hearts."
"I'm not worrying. Wait, I am worrying. This is about my sister's life Rahul! She doesn't deserve all this pain she's going through. All of this because of me. I'm supposed to worry!"

Rahul sighed and threw the basket ball to the corner of the room, "Muskaan, I've told you a thousand times before. Talk to Shilpa. I told you before and I'm doing it again. You're not responsible for anything. Mistakes happen. All you've to do to rectify it though? Talk to your sister. Tell her the truth."
She worried her lower lip, biting it hard, "it's just...every time I think of telling her everything," she said, "something so much powerful than my courage drags me back. To look into her eyes and tell her that I'm a shitty sister. To tell her that I'm a coward and she's suffering because of me. That I should've taken the blames and not let her shoulder them like the freak I am. I'm afraid of seeing what I'll see in her face. I'm afraid to tell her that the sister she thinks she's been protecting, from the memories of what happened nine years ago, remembers everything. To tell her to stop taking the blame on her because it was not her but I who was responsible for what happened that night."
Rahul dropped on his knees and rubbed her wrists, "Listen, baby. My father taught me two lessons in life. I wasn't very big then. I hadn't taken much of what they said seriously either but this? This I remember. I don't know if it was because of the weather, or if it whether because he was too deep in thought that day or just because my brain remembers it for the sheer luck of it. My father told me to never bow to the kind of fear that makes you selfish. And to never resist bowing to the kind of fear that makes you selfless. I think he wanted me to know that some things in life are worth fearing. Losing the people we love? Making sacrifices for them so we don't? Yes. But to think how it'd affect us? And not them? No. I was so proud of you when you told Armaan everything, baby. So proud. I know how hard for you is to relive all of this. I know how much strength you need to say it out loud and for that Muskaan? For that I can never stop being in awe of you. You're a brave brave woman despite of what you think and you've a heart of gold. But, baby, Shilpa needs to know. You've to do this. By not telling her you'll hurt her more every day. Some day she'll have to know."
Muskaan nodded then smiled, "We either go big or we either go home?"
Rahul gave her a breathtaking smile, "Hell yeah."
He pulled her closer then and joined their mouths, only to feel her tense and go still. Rahul pulled back, confused and followed her horrified gaze to see Shilpa standing at their door, her face gone ashen.
Rahul closed his eyes for a moment and cursed.
He got off Muskaan, watching her slowly stand too.
She needed him right now. He knew that.
But she needed to it all alone. He knew that too.
"Shilpa." Muskaan began awkwardly but Shilpa shook her head.
"No," her voice was firm and harsh and Muskaan was taken aback.
"Wow, Muskaan. Wow." Shilpa leaned against the door and smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Shilpa, listen," Rahul tried to talk but she cut him, too.
"Not you either! Don't say a word. Neither of you!"
He and Muskaan had known that one day Shilpa will have to know, eventually. And knowing the kind hearted woman Shilpa was and how much she loved Muskaan he knew Shilpa would forgive her. He hadn't, however, planned it to come out like that, nor expected the kind of reaction Shilpa was giving.
"For nine years," Shilpa said, her face twisted with pain, "For nine years, Muskaan! You played me for that long? Really. Wow. I have been blaming myself everyday for the past nine years for not protecting you, for being the reason behind that accident, for thinking I'm betraying you somehow, for thinking that no, I'm saving you. And Rahul? The man whom I've loved like a brother? My best friend? He knew. Muskaan, you were my only family. My only family! And you both kept it all for me? Do I mean nothing to you? And to you Rahul? Wow! What a joke my whole life has been! To think I've been protecting you. Only to be fooled like this!"
Muskaan was trembling now, shaking her head, "Shilpa, no, no you're taking it all wrong. I didn't hide it because I took you for granted or didn't want to. I just..." but Shilpa cut her with her palm facing forward and her eyes going blurry.
"I told you not to say a word! My life has been nothing but an open book to you Muskaan. I trusted you. I trusted you the most! You never thought I was worthy enough to be there for you? Never thought I deserved to know! Never thought what I went through everyday? My own sister. My own sister who means the world to me? Today, she taught me a great lesson. She taught me that the family that's our everything isn't enough always. That they do not qualify for whatever standard you set for them"
"Shilpa, you're taking it all wrong." Rahul took a step toward her but she pressed her lips into a thin line and cut her hot gaze to him.
"Don't! just don't! you knew. He knew? Then why didn't I? Why does everybody in my life just use me? Why does my father not love me? Why does my mother hate me? Why did the two people I considered family played me like this? And Armaan? You told him but not me? He knew too. of course. It is always me isn't it? I'm the odd one out. I'm the one whose feelings don't mean shit to anyone! Thankyou so much Muskaan. Thankyou to the both of you!"
Shilpa punched the door frame and stormed out of the room.
Rahul watched Muskaan crumble to the floor with her face in her hands. What the hell had just happened? Shilpa had never acted like that before. He groaned fisting his hair. Maybe she'd been keeping it all in too long. She'd exploded. He knew they'd hurt her. They'd hurt her terribly. She felt betrayed and though Rahul couldn't understand a few things, he understood the rest well. He wanted terribly to intervene and give both of them a piece of mind but he couldn't talk to her before Muskaan did. And Muskaan was hurting as much as Shilpa was.
His wife was his first priority.
Three hours later.
"Damnit! She's not on the terrace either." Once Muskaan had calmed down and Rahul had explained her that Shilpa didn't mean all that she'd said. She was simply angry and hurt which she'd a right to be Muskaan had nodded and promised to talk to Shilpa. Rahul had been nervous about it but Muskaan came running back.
"What's wrong?" he'd felt terrified for a moment.
"she's not in her room. She's not in the study or the garden. I can't find her anywhere. I just found all these liquor bottles in the library empty."
And they'd began searching the house again frantically. To top it, Shilpa's phone was switched off.
Rahul didn't want to worry him, but he had to. They'd no other option.
He pulled out his phone again and dialed, waiting calmly.
"Armaan. Shilpa is missing." And then he told him everything that happened.
Armaan was already out and on the road when his phone rang again. The number was unknown.
"Hello?" his heart was beating fast.
"Armaan!" Shilpa slurred.
Something so much like relief washed over him.
"Thank f**king God! Shilpa, where are you?"
"Lover's point," she laughed at the other end, "Listen Malik! If you don't come here in exactly," she halted for a moment, probably counting on her fingers, "ten minutes, I will jump!"
"Shilpa? What? No listen to me..." but she cut the call.
"f**king damnit!" Armaan smacked his fist on the steering wheel and hit the paddle.
Shilpa watched as Armaan's silver Mercedes came into sight. It was racing forward on wind. She whistled low then burped. Armaan pulled out of the car then slammed the door shut, shouting her name.
She liked seeing how unbearably frightened he was.
Good for him! He dashed to the edge of the cliff and his breathing was ragged.
"Shilpa!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Stop screaming so loudly you idiot! My eardrums!" she scowled looking down at him. Armaan turned around and stared up, finally spotting her on a tree that rested at the edge of the cliff, and she was perched on a branch that ended off the cliff, with thousands of feet lying beneath to take the fall.
His heart jumped to his mouth.
He tried to speak for a moment but his words came out scratchy and inaudible to which she screamed, "what?" and he repeated gritting his teeth.
"Shilpa, come down."
"But I don't know how to climb down. I'm scared of heights."
Armaan was seized by a fear so black he was paralyzed. He willed his feet to move but they wouldn't. He didn't feel his own body. Just the wild thumping of his heart that filled his ears and twitched his bones.
"Baby," he said softly, "don't move. Just don't move."
He slowly made his way to the tree and tested all the branches. He said a quick prayer to whatever God that was listening and felt his throat clog up.
If he lost balance and she... no he won't allow himself to think of that.
"Shilpa, baby, don't move. I'll come get you. Just...just don't move. Okay?  I want you to tell me you understand."
She frowned but nodded quickly.
Armaan carefully placed a foot on the bark resting other on a branch and pulled himself up, slowly weaving his way through all the spider webs and leaves. He reached the branch she was perched on and slowly, as if she were a delicate doll, pulled her closer. Then he wrapped both of his arms around her almost choking her.
She gagged, protesting and he loosened his grip just an inch. She could feel his heart beating wildly against her ear.
Again, slowly he crept back to the end of the branch. They'd made it to the end of the strip of land beneath them but he had to jump to the other end of the branch with her. What if he lost control? Armaan was shaking. He closed his eyes and inched her even forward then saying all the prayers again he closed his eyes and took a chance. He threw Shilpa to the left with as much pressure he could muster and she landed on the cliff far from the tree.
Armaan was too afraid to open his eyes but when he did he almost fell from the shock of relief.
He swallowed hard then jumped to the other branch following down.
He watched her rub her elbows and knees and curse him but he couldn't see or hear beyond the thick fog of anger that was engulfing him now.
He pulled her up and dragged her to his car, wanting as much distance as possible between himself and that god damn cliff and pushed her against the door, "What the hell," he barked, "was that?"
Shilpa scrunched her nose and peeked from beneath her lashes, "what?"
"Shilpa," Armaan looked sideways and clenched his teeth, "I've a mind to beat the shit out of you right now, so God help me. Why did you climb a tree, knowing that you can't climb down on your own! And what the hell was that? Sitting at the end? Does your childishness have a limit?" she swayed a little, almost falling and Armaan caught her, steadying her.
"Jesus, you're so drunk."
"I'm not Jesus," she pouted her lips, "I'm Shilpa!" she pulled her tongue out at him.
"We're going home. I'm going to strap you in and you're not going to say another word. Understood?"
She swallowed and looked at him. He was intimidating in all his glorious fury but she, herself, was too angry to be affected. She pushed him hard and pushed her hair back.
"No. Not understood! I called you here for a reason! And after that you go your way and I'll go mine!" she pulled the folded papers out from her back pocket and threw them in his face.
"There! Your f**king divorce papers. Signed. All the freaking pages. Now I'm nomore your wife. So you go to hell Armaan Malik and don't you ever dare tell me what to do! You lying, arrogant, hairy ape!"
Armaan looked down at the divorce papers and pinched the bridge of his nose. A pang of guilt and regret curled around his head and the fact that she'd signed them, not caring that he was the one to send them, shot his anger to hell.
"Thankyou!" he said bitterly, picking up the papers and stuffing them in his back pocket as unceremoniously as she'd kept.
"You are welcome." She huffed and started walking only to lose her balance and stumble down to the ground.
Armaan shook his head and bent to help her only to be taken aback by all the tears that were slipping down her face.
Shilpa was silent.
And she was crying.
She was crying.
"Shilpa," he immediately turned her around and looked at her face.
"I hate you!" she whispered and that hurt him like nothing had ever done.
"And I hate Rahul and Muskaan. I hate everybody! I hate everyone."
"Shilpa, you don't mean that."
"No I do. I hate you all. I don't ever ever wanna see you."
"Okay, don't see me. But let me take you back home. The Muskaan and Rahul you hate so much are worried as hell."
"If I don't ever wanna see you, you'll let me?" she said with such painful sincerity Armaan's heart bled a little more.
"You don't love me. Do you?"
Armaan watched her and couldn't say a word.
He'd never thought about it. Her question had struck him totally dumbfound. He didn't know how to reply.
He'd never given love much of pondering. What exactly did he feel for Shilpa? He was attracted to her. Yes. They'd  damn strong attraction. He'd been miserable for the past two weeks but was it love? What was love exactly? He'd loved Atul.
Armaan silently gathered her close and stood up taking her in his arms and moving back to the car.
"Thankyou." She said in a heartbroken whisper.
"For what?"
"For giving me my answer."
Armaan halted and put her down. He took her arms and pushed her softly over the car's bonnet.
"Shilpa, it's not like that. I like you. I really do. You're a great girl and I wanted to spend my life exploring the kind of relationship we could've," he left her and ran a frustrated hand through his cropped hair, "In the library when you told me you'd just pretended with me so you can help Rahul and Muskaan elope I was furious. And I wanted revenge for what you'd done to me and my ego. It was stupid of me. I wanted some kind of retribution and then I knew you were my wife. It was like someone had presented the opportunity to me on a silver platter. I know how pathetic that makes me sound. But love? I...I don't know Shilpa. It's just..." he closed his eyes sighing.
"It's just I want you so much. In every way I can have you. It doesn't even make sense but then very less stuff does since you've come into my life. Everything else that I lived and depended on? It feels shallow and dull. Without you, I just."
Shilpa hiccupped and bent down again, "You knew. Muskaan told you everything."
Armaan nodded and settled beside her, facing the road forward. Their shoulders were barely touching.
"Why is that everyone I ever loved hurt me to the point of no return? Why is it that my life has been nothing but an empty vessel that has endlessly been and being filled my containers of pain and pain? Everytime I think that I've reached my limit someone knocks me over and I realize that what I felt prior to what I feel now didn't even compare."
Armaan didn't answer, letting her vent it all out.
"I and Muskaan? It was supposed to be us against the world but even she didn't deem me worthy of sharing it all with. I did everything I could for her but she hid everything from me. She told Rahul but not me? Why not me? Why not me, Armaan?"
"Why have I felt disowned and excluded in almost everything in my life. From craving the love of father to craving yours! Am I that disgusting and unacceptable? Is it the way I look? My face that you all hate or me in particular? Just everything? When I was small I prayed to God to give me a new face so my father would just look at me. Do you know why he won't look at me? Because I look like my birth mother and he'd can't see me and not remember her or the fact that he'd lost her because of me. Even she left me. What a gift I got on my birthday. My mother gets snatched from me the day I'm born. Couldn't have been more unlucky if I wanted."
"I love you, Armaan! I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Why you of all people? Why do I love you so much? Why did it have to be Atul? Why did it have to be anybody? What have I ever done to deserve this?" she pulled her knees up and hid her face in them, letting sobs wrack her back and shoulders.
Armaan felt the weight of her confession slam through him like a blow. She loved him. She loved him. It numbed him. He didn't know how to respond to it, to her. She loved him. Every muscle in his body locked with tension as he stared at the road not knowing how to react.
Something akin to euphoria crashed through his heart. She loved him. It mingled with the pain and desperation he'd been feeling for the past weeks. He should react, reciprocate but he was hanging in the air unable to do any of those things. Instead he just pulled her to him and soaked all her tears in his shirt.
They sat there for a while. Her crying and him just watching stars illuminate the otherwise dark night.
"It's not that they don't love you," he said, not specifying the "they", "it's love in general. That piece of shit doesn't come without its set of hurdles and complications. But it feels so good that you're ready to slay demons and hurt and bleed."
"Muskaan loves you Shilpa. She was just afraid of losing you, she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to take your reaction or realize that you, too, are a mere human who gets angry and hurt and expects certain things from certain people. But if you love someone you should be forgiving, too."
"Did you forgive me?"
That innocent question threw him back.
Had he? But for what?
For leaving his brother out there?
For never opening up?
For coming into his life only to give him so much heartache?
Why was he holding his grudges till now?
He knew Shilpa had her reasons. She, too, had been a mere kid nine years ago. She did what she could.
Was it simply that he'd waited nine years and now he wasn't ready to let go so easily?
Was it his ego?
He looked up at the sky and felt the first drop of rain. He untangled himself from Shilpa and stood up.
"Let's go. It's about to rain." And the question remained unanswered.
"No." Armaan turned around to see her still where she was sitting.
"No, Armaan. All my life all I've done is listen to people. Listen to my dad. Listen to my mom. Listen to Muskaan. Listen to Rahul. Listen to you. Not anymore. If you want to go? Then leave." She dusted her jeans as she straightened up.
"I can't leave you here Shilpa."
She locked her gaze with his and when she spoke her eyes were red with tears, "You've already left me. Let's not go into semantics."
Armaan shut the door back and gaped at her in irritation.
"What do you want me to do Shilpa?"
"I wanted you to chose!" she cried out, "I wanted you to love me enough to chose me! To still chose me! To fight for this love! But there is no love Armaan. There is no love to chose and fight for. You don't love me."
"I don't know what love is! I don't okay?" he grabbed her, "if missing you every second of my life is love then I do love you. If hurting so bad watching you hurt is love then I do love you, if wanting to beat the shit out of Abhimanyu Modhi just because he touched you means love then I do love you, if wanting you like I've never wanted anything in my life and wanting you so much that it physically hurts is love then I do love you. I do f**king love you if all that's love. But don't tell me to chose, Shilpa. I don't think I can make the decision between my deceased brother and you so just don't."
"And if I die too? If someday my body is lifeless and my soul inexistent, would you chose then? Would you want to have chosen then?"
"Shilpa," he whispered painfully.
She gulped and looked up at him. "You're right Armaan. It's about to rain. Let's go home."
Then shook her head, "I mean take me to my home."
"You loved rains." He said softly.
"I loved a lot of things," she looked back at him, "turns out nothing is like what it seems on the surface." She pulled out of his grip and got in the car.
Armaan didn't move. He just stood there and there on a road to nowhere Shilpa watched Armaan Malik get a taste of rain. The clouds opened up and rain pounded on the hood of the car.
Shilpa turned the wipers on and watched him just stand there and take it all in. The white cotton shirt clung to his back. The bulged in his muscles were outlined showing his virility as he gulped in the downpour with his arms akimbo.
She couldn't breathe.
The silence, enhanced by the heavy rush of the rain spread everywhere.
Shilpa pushed out of the car and latched onto his back hugging him like she never wanted to let go. She pressed her face in the crook of his neck, her arms locked around him from behind and she breathed harshly.
Both of them stood there. Both of them without a word. She felt the violent beats of his heart against her palm and her fast breaths filled his ears.
Slowly he pulled away from her, untangling her hands around him and walked forward without looking back.
Shilpa just stood there, still, hurt and watching. He kept walking and hunched down on his knees at the edge of the cliff.
The rain fell everywhere. The hardness filled everywhere.
She was drenched from head to toe and her hair clung to her wet chest.
She walked to the tree she'd only hours before climbed up and pressed her back to the bark. He pulled off from the ground and looked at her with such an intensity the back of her knees burned with it. He drew closer pressing his hand to the bark above her head and both of them just stared hard at each other. Their erratic breathing filled the air between them that was now crackling with tension.
He was still a few feet away from her.
"You should go back to the car." His voice came out raw.
"Come with me."
Armaan jerked his head in nod that was difficult to produce and turned around walking to the car. He stopped after a few steps and looked back at her. She was following him and came to a standstill watching him search her face with his burning holes into her skin.
He didn't move and neither did she and then all of a sudden everything exploded.
He moved like lightning, one arm grabbing her waist, the other plundering his hands into her hair and he slammed her back to tree, and he had his tongue inside her mouth before he'd fully plastered them both to the tree.
She heard the popping of buttons invade the heavy silence. Her shirt was on her in a moment and on the ground the next. Cold fingers grabbed at her jeans. She was in clothed a moment. Not, the next.
She'd felt empty a moment before, she was feeling too much the next. Too many sensations and feelings attacked from everywhere like a volcano when it erupts. There was so much need between them, stretched taut with pain and ache and desperation.
They were inelegant. They were rough. They were dirty. His mouth used hers, his hands burned everywhere they touched trailing a path to places she didn't know existed.
Touching. Touching. Touching.
She moaned, shivering and shaking badly. She ate her tears as they mingled with the rain and his mouth that wouldn't leave hers.
Burning. Burning. Burning.
He trailed a rough path down her mouth, to her jaw down the column of her throat.
Kissing. Kissing. Kissing.
He slid both his palms up her back and snapped the hook of her bra. He slid his fingers inside the strap and peeled it off her.
Falling. Falling. Falling.
Her clothes. Every last one of them disappeared to the ground.
She didn't know if she moaned his name or screamed his name. She knew that his teeth left marks. And it hurt. It hurt so good she'd never felt anything like this.
He locked her arms over her head and licked the back of her ear down to the hollow of her neck. He kissed his way.
Down. Down. Down.
Branding her nipples with his tongue, her skin with his teeth.
Lower. Lower. Lower.
Her eyes rolled back in her head and she threw her face back.
"So beautiful," his fingers spread everywhere, "so f**king beautiful, My God." He rasped.
Curious fingers paused at the elliptical shaped dent on her hipbone and caressed.
"That's my birthmark," she replied huskily.
Armaan dropped on his knees and traced it with his tongue, kissing the edges.
"I've never seen anything more beautiful." And that was enough to reduce her to tears.
He pulled her down beneath him and kissed her. Long and hard.
His tongue filled in her mouth.
Caressed. Caressed. Caressed.
And there under the roof of a torrential downpour, in the corner, jammed against a tree, he worshipped her.
Everything else dissolved as they infiltrated each other. He didn't leave a corner untouched, a hollow not kissed. He worshipped her with his mouth, his eyes, and his hands. He worshipped her with an urgency and penetrating depth that ruined her for everyone else.
His fingers carried out an intimate exploration that left her panting and breathless. Moaning and screaming and he pulled her to his arms as she came.
They lay there, entwined with their own sweat and mud. They didn't give a shit. Armaan pulled Shilpa's clothes back and his own shirt that he'd lost somewhere in the middle of untainted passion.
Stopping killed him. His whole body was burning with the need to take her but he knew he couldn't. her first time wouldn't be on a f**king public road, crammed up against a tree. And he pulled away even if it killed her.
"Armaan?" Shilpa looked at him confused.
He shook his head and picked her in his arms carrying her to the car.
He was regretting it.
And he wasn't.
He should've never lost control.
She'd absolutely ruined him now.
He was ruined and hers for life.
He settled her in and brought the engine to life zooming out of the god damned place.
None of them said a word.
It was like they were at an impasse. Dead ends howled everywhere.
Shilpa was asleep by the time Armaan parked into the Modhi's. he stared at her and couldn't take his eyes off her. She was all muddy all over like him and he smiled seeing the drool fall out of her lips. He tilted her head back, pushing her hair out of her eyes and gently taking her in his arms, walked to the entry way.
He was walking up to the main entrance when Abhimanyu crossed his path.
His eyes were black with fury.
"What the hell is this Malik?"
Armaan resisted the urge to slam his head into concrete and only because Shilpa was sleeping. He tightened his grip on her as she snuggled closer and glared at Modhi.
"Apparently you've your head stuck in your ass all the time and can't do shit. That's why others have to save your fianc because God help you in the f**king blindness you live. Why don't you take care of your things next time?"
Abhimanyu seethed, his ears turning red and stepped forward.
"You don't know anything about me Malik. Nothing. So think before opening that f**king mouth of yours. I'm being forced into this marriage as much as her. And mind telling me what the hell are you doing with my fianc?"
Armaan smiled, too pleased to have been asked that question, "it should be what I was doing with her, or rather what I was doing to her. But look closely you'll figure out on your own. In the meantime, I'd like to drop her safely inside, I think I've tired her."
Abhimanyu curled his hands in a tight fist and gave Armaan a closed lip smile.
"She's my fiance and this is my house. I thank you for bringing her here but I can take her from here." He jutted his hands out.
Armaan's pleasure disappeared in a thick fog of smoke and he looked at Abhimanyu like he wanted to split him into two.
"Excuse me?"
"I said no."
"Look you-
"Shilpa!" Muskaan came running down barefeet from the doorway and stared at Shilpa.
"Oh my God! Armaan, what happened to her?"
"Nothing," he shook his head, tearing his eyes away from Abhimanyu and looked down at Shilpa, "she's just sleeping. Passed out after all the tiredness of the day most definitely."
"Let me take her inside." Rahul stepped forward and Armaan let go of Shilpa reluctantly, and watched Rahul disappear from sight with her and Muskaan following. He had a maddening urge to snatch her and take her somewhere far.
He looked back at Abhimanyu and balled his hands into tight fists, imitating his posture, "If you try touching her know this first. Anywhere you touch, I've had my hands on before and I've made sure the imprints are burned inside her soul. So why don't you f**king man up, grow some balls and tell your father to go f**k himself?"
Abhimanyu watched as Armaan pulled out of the driveway and zoomed out into the night, leaving behind a cloud of thick smoke.

 When you watch the sorrowed night with eyes so blue;
Do you see my crippled heart chasing after you?
And if you love me no more now;
Then find me too a way back; explain to me how.
Do you see not all that good behind veil of sins?
Darkness surrenders when, does morning win.
Show me the vengeance with which you hate;
Until then I'd believe, till eternity I'll wait.
If love made me and love made you;
How am I wrong if you stand true?

"Armaan, Son, is that you?" the years had brought a lulling quality to her voice. She'd always had this sternness in her tone even when she spoke softly. His grandmother was a legendary woman. No she hadn't fought battles or seen blood. It was her charismatic personality. She was tall, taller than Armaan and he'd taken his blue eyes from her. She was beautiful. She was half Indian, half Russian, Russia being her father's home. The thickness in her accent just made her bolder and her still so perfect body made her vigorous. She lived miles away from Mumbai at a hill station all alone. Not that she'd ever be alone. He couldn't remember the last time his grandma didn't have something to do or a class of less than eighty to teach.
Armaan pulled back the ledge and walked inside the door. The aroma of freshly baked cookies and mints hit his nostrils and his stomach growled. His grandma lived in a chalet with chestnut colored picket fences, a small porch and a deck. French windows looked out at the beautiful view of the hill station where trees were lined up and thick fog perched over them.
Armaan stepped further inside and pulled over his brown leather jacket. It was a little chilly. He smiled seeing gooseberries and pumpkins all over the dining table. She was onto something again. He was hungry, he realized. It'd been days since he'd had a proper meal.
"I'm home." He said walking to the kitchen and hugging her from behind. He kissed the top of her head and watched her relax back into him, putting the spatula back onto the frying pan.
"Armaan, my baby, where have you been?"
Armaan hid his face in the crook of her neck and bit back tears.
He'd missed her.
"I missed you. I want to tell you so much but you have to feed me first. I'm starving."
"Ten minutes. Get fresh you big boy and we are going to have a fiesta!"
"Did I tell you my grandpa was one hellova a lucky man?" he grumbled.
"Yes, Armaan. You tell me every time you come. I'm pretty sure it's like an auto speak thing with your mind."
Armaan laughed and kissed her before going to freshen up.
His grandmother laughed and pulled out the meat loaf from the oven. She pushed the knife to check if it was baked and shook her head.
"Armaan I'm your granny. You can't hide the confusion and desperation that's all over your soul. I'm hoping I'll have the answers to the problems you've come seeking."

 Rida :D

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