Thursday, 22 June 2017

part 19 : Beetein_Lamhe

PART - 19

"riddhimaa" she heard a soulful whisper near her ear nd quickly turned at dat direction.. there he is.. standing in front of her eyes pouring all his love n care through his gaze.. she smiled at once seeing the face she was dying to see nd hugged him at once..
"tum aa gayyee armaan.. kitni der kar di.. main kabse wait kar rahi hoon pata hain tumhey??"
She asked in between her tearful smile..
"kitna darr gayee thi main .. tumhey pata hain kisi ne kitna ganda mazak kiya tha.. ek phone aya aur kaha ki'" she shivered nd hugged him tighter..

"sshhh'" he stopped her to say anything more nd rubbed her back soothingly..

She stayed there in his arms for sometime, thn finally she broke d hug.. nd smilingly she said.. "mujhey pata tha mera armaan mujhey chodke kahin nhi jaa sakta.. mera armaan kabhi bhi apni riddhima se kiya hua wada nhi tod sakta.. hain na armaan.. sahi kaha na mainey??" she asked hopefully nd he juz cupped her face by both of his hands lovingly..

"I love u riddhima.."

It was the ultimate answer she was dying to hear nd hearing him she couldn't hlp but bloomed in happiness.. though her extreme happiness was too much for her to handle at dat tym nd dats y her eyes strted flowing..

"I love u too armaan.. I love u too.. i love u soo muchh.." she hugged him tightly once again.. "chalo, ghar chalte hain armaan.. kafi derr ho gayee hain,na.. aur pata hain mainey tumhari fav dishes bhi banayi thi..waisey toh aab tak toh thandi ho chuki hogi.. par koi baat nhi, main fir se garam kar dungi.. bahot bhook lagi hogi na tumhey?? nd I'm sure tumney flight mein luch bhi nhi kiya hoga.. ghar akey apni riddhima ke hatho ka khana jo kha na tha tumhey.. ri8??" she whispered in his ear lovingly while making her head comfortable in the gap of his head nd shoulder, inhaling his fragrance, feeling contended.. he sighed hearing her.. it's gonna be truly difficult.. much more dan wat he thought.. he placed his hand on her head nd hold her head more protectively across his chest absorbing each second in his heart n mind.. thn finally kissing her vermillion filled mang tenderly, he softly announced..  "haan jaan.. aab tumhey jana chahiye.. sach mein bahot der ho gayee hain.." he said d last sentence with a dual meaning although but riddhima's attention was stolen by his 1st sentence.. she frowned hearing 'tumhe' nd broke d hug at once.. thn looking straight into his eyes she asked complainingly.. "wat do u mean by dat?? Dnt u dare to act smart mr. mallik.. I'm not going anywhere without u.. got it??"

Juz a minute ago wen she saw armaan's face juz a few inches away from her,she felt all those ph call nd all was her nightmare only.. everything is actually fine.. her armaan got no harm nd most importantly her armaan is wth her nd dat too aftr whole two months.. god!! how much she craved for this moment.. only she knws how torturing last two months were.. everyday she checked d calendar nd counted days which were left for his arrival.. nd wen it reduced to 10 from 60days.. she literally became ecstatic.. armaan ke aane par yeh karna hain.. uskey liye yeh banana hain.. yeh gifts deney hain etc etc' she planned nd re-planned everything during those 10days.. nd today she was wide awake before it hit dawn.. actually she wasn't able to sleep properly last night.. too excitement stole all her sleep gifting her a restless yet exciting long night..she tossed herself on the bed whole 9t smiling stupidly in between, occassionally checking her mobile to see the time... never in her dreams she thought she'll feel this teenage feelings again after so many years of their marriage nd now she knows d truth.. their love is beyond the effect of time.. it can nvr grow old but can become deep to deeper as time passes..  but all her happiness, excitement nd restlessness evaporated as soon as she received that horrible phone call.. nd without giving her a second to mend the loss, she was announced to her death.. yes death.. was there any life if her armaan is not there by her side?? No.. there wasn't nd there won't be too.. he is her life.. her every reason to breathe nd naturally that phone call gifted her the most horrible nervous breakdown..  but in spite of all this, wen she saw his face, all her tension, her fear, her pain.. in short every every negative feeling vanished' he is truly her medicine.. her one n only drug for her survival' on d othr hnd, he was soo calm nd composed dat she thought it was all a stupid dream.. due to lack of sleep, she saw ds vry bad dream.. but now every thing will be normal once again juz like before.. they will be together again.. happy to hve each other feeling blissful n contended..  but armaan's answer juz raised all those burdened fear nd pain in her heart once again.. her nerves again felt the tension.. her brain agn strtd becoming heavy.. in short he again made her restless but this time for worse..

"jaan' tum samajh nhi rahi.." armaan felt the color - change of her face.. her face which was glowing juz a few seconds ago, now completely pale nd blank.. as if all her blood is sucked away from her body.. nd at once he felt d urgent need to mke her normal..

"main nhi samajh rahi?? Really armaan?? Main tumhey nhi samajh rahi??" her voice was painfully demanding.. "u knw wat armaan.. jo chahey karlo.. i knw vry well tum exctly kya karne ki koshish kar rahe ho par tum bhi yeh achchey se samajh lo mr. mallik.. ke koi faida nhi hoga iss sab ka..bcoz  I won't leave u ALONE no matter wat.."

He sighed deeply nd calmed himself dwn..  he can't break dwn.. he has the toughest wrk to do now.. nd he'll do it anyhow.. as he knws only he can inject sense within her.. "go back jaan.. princess ko tumhari zaroorat hain.."

But before he can say more she asked d ultimate question.. "aur tumhey??"

He closed his eyes painfully fighting with his tears.. ofcourse he needs her.. she is his everything.. his each n every antic is related to her.. his love, his care, his craziness, his drama, his pain.. everything.. she is everywhere of his life n soul but unfortunately he can't hve her anymore.. he hs to let her go.. he sighed deeply controlling his emotions nd whispered.. "dnt mke it more complicated jaan.. plz.. plz dnt mke it complicated.. its alrdy too difficult.. much more dan my capacity.."

She sighed sensing his share of pain nd cupping his cheek by her ri8 hand she said each wrd clearly mking him understand her side of story.. "arri akeli nhi hain armaan.. she has her own family.. samrat, junior' wohh sambhal jayegi par tum akele ho jaoge armaan.. kyunki hum dono ke pass hum dono ke alawa aur koi nhi hain.. aur mainey wada kiya tha na.. chahey jitni bhi mushkil aa jaye par main humesha tumhara sath dungi' tumhey kabhi bhi akela nhi chodungi.. aur armaan.. Humesha ka matlab sirf zindegi tak nhi hota.. merey liye humesha ka matlab hain, zindegi mein bhi aur uskey baad bhi.. mainey promise kiya tha na ki main tumharey liye jiyungi par tum yeh bhool rahe ho armaan main tab tak jee sakti hoon jab tak tum merey sath ho, mery pass.. tumharey bina main chah kar bhi nhi jee sakti, armaan.. haan, yeh alag baat hain ki main chahti bhi nahi.. armaan..  humara rishta sirf khushiyo ka nhi hain.. dard ka bhi hain.. ek baat bahot achchey se samajh lo tum.. chahey jitni bhi koshish karlo par main wapas nhi jayungi'  tum nhi aa sakte mere sath toh kya.. main toh tumhari duniya mein aa sakti hoon,na??"

"yeh pagalpan hain riddhima.." he said helplessly..

"toh mainey kab mana kiya.. aur waisey bhi had se zyada pyaar kissey kehte hain tumhi se sikha hain mainey.. aab kuch nhi ho sakta armaan.. main baawri ho chuki hoon tumarey liye.. aab toh kuch bhi ho jayee.. main tumhey chod kar wapas nhi jayungi.."


"sshhh'" but she shushed him talking anymore kissing him lovingly' pouring all her love n care.. promising him once again dat their love is beyond life.. they are non-separable souls no matter wat' armaan, although wriggled once but couldn't hlp but kiss her back with equal love n longing.. because he knew he was feeling her for the last time, he has to go away from her.. he has to make her understand.. she dusn't knw the whole incident yet.. their princess needs her.. much more dan he needs her beside him.. really? No.. he needs her badly too.. he is actually afraid of this blankness of loneliness.. But dat's not done..he can't be selfish.. he's a father too.. he can tolerate this torture for their princess nd he'll surely.. he made his mind.. yeshh.. he can't tke her life away from her dat too juz for his need.. he can't let her die for him.. she has to live.. nd she'll.. but in all this chaos wat he forgot is, he is HER LIFE.. so, if she has to live, he will hve to stay wth her as well'



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