Friday, 28 July 2017

Last part : Loves Me Loves Me Not


Ridhima's home:
(she thought for a long time about how to start the conversation..she went out of her room...padma is in kitchen...shashank is in the hall...she stood in between)

Ridz: [i'll speak to ma..she will understand easily](stepped into kitchen)[but she is over-protective about everything...she still treats me as a kid, she may think i am not old enough to decide such things](she took her steps back..again standing in the middle)[i will tell papa, he supports me even when mom doesnt](stepped towards him)[but doesnt it sound strange talking to him abt is a better choice](again stepped back)[[ma... no... papa... no.... ma... no....arghhh!! wat am i doing?? I'll go to my room and think, thats better]
(armaan called)
Armi: did u talk?
Ridz: no armaan, i m confused whom to or papa?
Armi: i knew it...i knew it (laughs)
Ridz: stop laughing n tell me wat to do
Armi: forget it, we'll plan something tomorrow
Ridz: but wat if someone tells dad before i tell
Armi: chasmish, this is not plague that will spread through the whole city in one day...relax, we have time
Ridz: ya wat did u say? plague??!!! pyaar aur plague ka comparision sirf tum hi kar sakte ho...yuck!!! weirdo!!!
Armi: (laughs) i cudnt think of better word right then....ok, cholera sounds good? or dengue? or
Ridz: STOP IT!!!
Armi: haha..ok

Next day, in canteen:
Armi: i think aunty is a better choice, tell her
Ridz: but how?
Armi: see, u need to start the topic somehow n tell... no big deal ridhima
Rahul: guys, wats the matter?
Ridz: i want to tell my parents abt armaan, but i donno how to do it....hey, ur parents know abt u both?
Rahul: ya, we've been friends from kindergarten days and we are always together...they just know, we dint have to tell them
Ridz: hmm....and u sapna?
Sap: no, they donno n i dont plan to tell them either until we are ready for marriage
Armi: (sighs) ridhima, lets just get married, i will tell my parents to talk to urs...then u dont have to do anything, ur mom will ask u if u love me n u just have to say yes...thats all, simple!!
Ridz: armaan...(pause)....shut up
(armaan winked with a grin)
Ridz: this is y i told u we wont let anyone know abt us..see, its so complicated now
Armi: YOU r making it complicated, we still have a choice, r u sure u want to tell them now?
Ridz: yes, they'll be hurt if told by someone else and even i dont want to hide such a big thing from them
Armi: ok, decided then...i'll come to ur house this sunday, we'll tell them together
Ridz: hmm, ok
(keerti called that day)
Keerti: so, wats going on?
(ridz told how her friends came to know abt her n armaan ...and how she is thinking of telling her parents)
Keerti: wow yaar, u r going fast
Ridz: i know, but wats wrong in telling when i m so sure abt our relationship
Keerti: ya right
Ridz: wat abt u?
Keerti: we've just expressed our feelings, talking to parents is too far now
Ridz: how is he? i mean as a lover, u know more abt the person as time passes right
Keerti: he is cool...happy with my choice...n u?
Ridz: armaan!! he never ceases to surprise me with his character, the more i know him the more i fall for him..i hope mom n dad also realise how good he is
Keerti: they will, dont worry...i m sure abt it
Ridz: touchwood (touching the table)

Next day:
(Arjun came n spoke to ridz...after the hi hellos)
Arjun: ridhima, can we be friends atleast?
(ridz is thinking)
Arjun: i mean only if u want to...just friends
Ridz: [wats wrong in saying yes, seniors r anyway leaving in a month, he will atleast go happily] ya, sure
Arjun: (smiles) thanks
Ridz: c u later bye
Arjun: bye
(she met armaan on the way)
Armi: wat was arjun saying?
Ridz: nothing big, he just want to be friends with me
Armi: (stopped) friends??!!
Ridz: yaa
Armi: wat did u say then?
Ridz: i said ok
Armi: what??!!!
Ridz: y r u so shocked?
Armi: ridhima, u very well know what he feels for u... then
Ridz: its just friendship that he asked for, wats wrong in that?
Armi: do u think he's going to stick to just friendship?
Ridz: he knows abt us armaan, i told him, remember?
Armi: oh right, then y cant he just stay away from u?
Ridz: how will i know? and wat can i do if he asks directly... i mean can u say no on someone's face if u were in my position?
Armi: yes, i can say no
Ridz: armaan, i know u cant say no...dont say things just for the sake of it
Armi: i seriously wud have said no
Ridz: well, may be u can, i cant..i dont like to hurt people for no reason....i cant believe u were the one who said he should know abt us coz he will be hurt more if delayed
Armi: bcoz i thought he will just get his head sorted n stay away...look ridhima, friends can turn into lovers, but u can never be friends with someone u love
Ridz: i dont think so, anyway they r leaving soon n after that we'll probably never meet them, wats wrong in just saying hi n speaking two words for this short span, its not like i really consider him as a friend, u know how long i take to make friends..its just for courtesy armaan
Armi: i dont think he understands ur courtesy, he will definitely think its more than that
Ridz: (exasperated) i cant help it then, let him think if he wants to...u r over analysing this...and he's not even like vicky, he knows the truth abt us
Armi: vicky was easy to handle ridhima, arjun is more intelligent and handsome and..and love makes people crazy, u never know wats scheming in their minds
Ridz: even if its true, his schemes wont affect me..or..wait a minute..r u getting all this hyper becoz u think it will affect me?
Armi: no
Ridz: then wat is it armaan? y r u getting so insecure?
Armi: look, this is going offtrack, it was abt arjun
Ridz: its not abt arjun!! answer my question armaan, u think i'll change my mind if i talk to him?
Armi: no
Ridz: then why do u have to say he is handsome?
Armi: it just came with the flow, i dint mean it that way... see, i trust u...its him that i dont trust
Ridz: y do u have to worry abt him if u trust me
Armi: i...i just dont want to give anyone a chance to create any problem between us
Ridz: there is no problem, dont suspect everything
Armi: this is not suspicion ridhima, i m just trying to be safe
Ridz: i know wat is safe
Armi: no...u dont...i dont want u to talk to him and u r not talking...that's final
Ridz: that is not final (stressing each word)
Armi: FINE!! do watever u want
Ridz: FINE!! i will
(saying this she raged into the classroom...hurt and angry....highly her bag from armaan's place n sat in the first bench)
Ridz: [ughh!! so dominating!! how can he decide every small thing for me...i know wats right and wats not...wats wrong in just talking to arjun, y is armaan getting so phobic, i just dont understand wat he is afraid of!!]
(armaan came in...looking equally angry...he just shot a glare at her n went to his place with multiplied anger on his face...sapna came in)
Sap: hey, u r back here?
(ridz nodded silently...she dint turn once to see the coffe break, they r silent, not talking much to others too..everyone looked at each other)
Rahul: armaan, kya hua?
Armi: kya?
Rahul: tum dono aise chup chap
Armi: (angry) kuch nahi
(rahul shrugged n dint probe further...while coming back)
Muski: did u guys fight over something?
Ridz: hmm
Muski: relax, this is common, u should wonder if u dont fight (giggles)
Ridz: (smiles)
(that night she could not sleep properly...still angry)

Next day:
(no change...atmosphere is still hot between attempts from either sides to talk or call)
Anji: guys, come on now, break the ice...kab tak aise rahoge
(both armi n ridz r silent..they just looked at each other n looked away)
Atul: arre, kuch tho bolo yaar
(still silent)
Sap: dono zid karoge tho kaise chalega
Anji: forget it guys.. they'll be fine
Muski: (whispering) is it very serious?
Ridz: no [thats wat i donno, if it is serious or not...y isnt he even trying to talk, is this really grave??!!]
(now anger is replaced by more day passed followed by a sleepless night...she is distressed by now...he doesnt look better either...worry started turning into grief now)
Ridz: [two days!! its been two days armaan, u dint talk to me, or rather i dint talk to u...does this distance matter to him? but it does for me, i cant take it anymore, i am ending this right now]
(ego overtaken by love, she went to his usual place in last bench n sat there after the break...expecting him to come in any moment...eyes glued to the entrance...he came in with some papers in his hand, looked at first bench....stepped out frowning and checked the corridor..came in again...put the papers on desk where she used to sit from the past two days...walked further...surprised to see her in his place...a small smile broke on his face but he wiped it off immediately...ridz is controlling her laughter at his antics.. he went back...took the papers and came near her...sat beside her and put the papers infront of her...she looked at them...its an application to participate in a seminar on one of her favorite subjects, its being conducted on university level....along with some papers to write a synopsis... she flipped all the pages to see a small note pinned at the last paper...."fill out the form, tomorrow is last day to send it and i m in no mood to teach moral science today"...sir came in n class started...ridz is supressing her smile n looking at him from the corner of eye...he is doing the same...she wrote in the notebook "smile...else ur cheeks will pain", he wrote "urs will pain too", she smiled n wrote "i love you", armi - "exactly the same as i do, copy cat!!", ridz - "i m sorry", armi - "i m sorry too, missed u", ridz - "me too, very badly"..she held his hand n leaned back sighing with relief)
Ridz: [now, world looks normal to me...i cant stay away from him...i just cant!!]
(class is over)
Armi: give me a hug
(ridz looked at him)
Armi: a small one?
(his voice earnest and eyes passionate...without thinking for a second, she hugged him...tears dwelling in her eyes..she moved back)
Ridz: i m sorry armaan
Armi: no, i m sorry, i overreacted
Ridz: my fault too...i was in a i-know-i-am-right kind of mood
Armi: u r very stubborn actually, i dint know that
Ridz: ya, sometimes...when i have this strong feeling that what i m doing is absolutely right
Armi: hmm
Ridz: when i spoke to arjun that day, i really thought he's harmless n the more u were arguing against him the more i was getting adamant to prove myself right
Armi: and u call me egoistic...someone needs a self-check
Ridz: ya..but did u really feel insecure?
Armi: to be honest, yes...u mean the world to me ridhima and if i get the slightest hint that anyone can come between us, i get restless...i cant tolerate that person, either it was rahul or vicky or now arjun...
Ridz: but that was before we knew wat we feel for each other, now u know i love u...then
Armi: ya but still...u may call me overpossessive but i am still not comfortable with this idea of u being his friend
Ridz: i understand...if i were you, i would have felt the same but wat else could i do in that situation other than saying yes to his friendship offer
Armi: ya, sticky situation
Ridz: dont worry, i'll handle him
Armi: you??
Ridz: yes, let me learn dealing with people...i dont want to depend on you for everything
Armi: depend?!! wat nonsense...its my duty
Ridz: ya but i really want to do it myself
Armi: r u sure?
Ridz: yes
Armi: okay...but keep me informed..dont hide anything from me...he better be in his limits..else, i swear i will
Ridz: no wont go so far
Armi: hmm...these two days were like living in hell
Ridz: yaaa torturous...there wasnt a single second i dint think abt u
Armi: me too...nothing seems good without u chasmish
Ridz: hmm...hey, tomorrow is sunday, r u coming to my house?
Armi: oh ya, one more task to accomplish...yup, i'll be there...and this seminar, dont even think of an escape
Ridz:, i wont try to escape this time...but i need to prepare well

(armaan came n they told they want to study together...after sometime, they came out to the hall...spoke to padma n shashank for a while...armaan is searching for a point to break into the topic...failed to find any...he said he's leaving n came out)
Armi: oh man!! this is so hard!!
Ridz: (laughs) kya hua, apne hone wale saas sasur hi tho hain, baat karo na..its only me who complicates things right?
Armi: i give up!! ridhima u handle this time, it will be easier i guess...from next time, i'll talk
Ridz: hehe...ok
(she went in after armaan left..sat beside her mom)
Ridz: [ridzy, dont think, just say watever comes to ur mind, u know she likes him] ma, do u like armaan?
Padma: (surprised) ya
Ridz: i like him a lot (padma smiled confusedly) actually ma, i love him
(padma is silent...staring at ridhima without any expression)
Ridz: (sighs with relief) [my job is done..but y is she she mad at me? is she happy? is she irritated? is she sad? OMG!! say something ma, say something..] ma!!
(padma jerked)
Padma: aah, ya
Ridz: r u angry? (fully worried)
Padma: no..i mean u told so suddenly....i m just shocked
Ridz: ma, i m very tensed abt your reaction...we both love each other a lot
Padma: oh, so he also loves u
Ridz: ya, from the very first day of college
Padma: hmm
Ridz: ma, i really wanted u n papa to know abt him, r u ok with this?
Padma: u told me just now, we need time to think
Ridz: ok...papa ko?
Padma: i will tell, dont worry
Ridz: (hugs her) thanks ma, u r the best

Night, at dinner:
Shash: ridhima, ur mom told me abt armaan
(ridhima gulped...her heart is beating fast)
Shash: so, u want to marry him?
Ridz: (fastly) no, not now....(slowly) but later, yes
Shash: beta, as parents we need to look at many things when it comes to marriage, we obviously want the best for u..we know armaan is a good guy but we donno anything about his family, how his parents are, wat they do...we need to know all these
(ridhima told them abt his parents n also that they know abt her)
Shash: hmm...we'll meet them...lets know each other
Ridz: hmm
(ridz called armaan immediately after dinner)
Armi: (anxious) wat did they say?
Ridz: i m so confused armaan, i donno if he said yes or he told me to wait
Armi: eh??? tell me his exact words
(she told)
Armi: arre yaar, even i m not able to conclude anything
Ridz: i'll ask my mom
(she went to her mom later)
Ridz: ma, i m a bit confused, wat did dad mean? he wants to know them completely and then decide or wat?
Padma: (smiles) dont worry, he is positive abt this, its going to be a life-long relationship with them, so we just want to start knowing each other, thats it...
Ridz: (jumping) OMG!! i m so happy, ahh, i was so worried..
Padma: and your dad has asked me to take their number n invite them for lunch this sunday
Ridz: i will tell armaan, he will be so happy to hear this
(she called him n told)
Armi: woohhooooo, u made my day ridz, i mean its already night but...u made my life altogether!! muuahhh!!
(after that day, there would be get-togethers now and then and everyone seemed to be happy with each other)

(Ridhima participated in the seminar and that went well...her confidence was increasing by the day...arjun wasnt as easy as she this short span he tried his best to get closer and make an impression...trying to ask her out for coffee and meet her alone ...the way he was insisting, she started understanding his intentions, she was now clear how to deal with day she was with anji when arjun met her)
Arjun: ridhima, will u have coffee with me? plz dont say no again...
Ridz: coffee..ya sure, join us
Arjun: us??!! (with disbelief in his voice)
(anji chuckled..ridz shot her a u-r-dead look)
Arjun: canteen?
Ridz: ya, u can meet my other friends also
Arjun: hmmm...will join some other time..c u bye
Ridz: bye
Anji: bye (waving and supressing her laughter)
(she burst out when he left)
Anji: OMG ridz, what was that?!! how could u...(laughing between the words)
Ridz: wat else can i do yaar? i mean first he puts me in a situation where it would be rude of me to say no to his so called "just friends?" thing...n when i was still being nice to him, he tries to meet me alone and all that... knowing very well that i am already committed... wat nonsense, he deserves this...if he wanted just friendship, he could have joined us right, wats so private between friends?
Anji: he should have said yes, armaan would have taught him wat friendship is....i can so imagine his face, he would have just killed arjun with his angry looks...
Ridz: yeahh
(they entered canteen..still laughing)
Atul: wat happened...tell us, we'll also join u
Anji: we met arjun on the way
Armi: and?
Anji: and ridz gave him such a shock
(everyone is listening curiosuly)
Anji: he asked her out for coffee and she told him to join us
(all laugh)
Anji: can u imagine, armaan and him sitting opposite to each other n having coffee...gosh!!
Muski: wat did he say then?
Ridz: he just mumbled something and left
Armi: poor guy, u r not as innocent as u look, aren't u?
Ridz: i never said i m innocent, wat can i do if i look like one...not my fault!! (with a smug smile)
Armi: yaaa... God save me now
Rahul: i'll pray for u buddy
Armi: yes please, i need them...especially with this improved and intelligent ridhima

(one month passed and the seniors left the college...after the holidays, final year started and everyone was planning abt their careers...armaan, anji and rahul wanted to do MBA..ridz and muskaan wanted to start working and gain some experience first..atul wanted to do masters and sapna hasnt decided anything yet..everyone started working towards their goals)

Final semester:
(all are busy with the project work...atul and anji are in same group...anji had become normal with atul but he didnt dare to talk abt love...though everyone knew he still loved day ridz thought of finding out wat anji thinks abt him now)
Ridz: hey anji, di kaisi hain?
Anji: she said she is fine...i hope she really is
Ridz: why r u saying so??
Anji: i mean when she was leaving, i could see the fear in her eyes yaar...may be the fear of having to go n live with a person u donno very well...she spoke to jiju n met him sometimes after engagement but still i donno if they really love each other...may be the fear part is just my imagination..i hope it is
Ridz: i guess love will build up slowly in case of arranged marriages..u know that jiju is a nice person na... dont worry, she will be happy
Anji: hmm
Ridz: u still feel the same abt atul?
Anji: if u mean, i dont love him that way...but i understand his feelings...he is a really nice guy...i sometimes feel guilty for avoiding him that time...i feel bad that i shattered his dreams but thats how i am, i cant act...i just speak my mind
Ridz: hmm
Anji: i know he still loves me...and i know he'll keep me happy if i marry him...but marriage is not on my mind right now...i want to concentrate on my career first and who knows i may fall in love with someone

(all got together one day...talking abt wat to do idea shot up in ridz brain)
Ridz: guys, listen..i have an idea
(all look at her)
Ridz: i think we can start a software company
(everyone looked at each other and back at her...their eyes asking for more information)
Ridz: i m not very clear abt this, but i think we can find out...see, we have future managers here (pointing to armaan, rahul and anji), atul is technically very sound and each of us have our own expertise..and watever other things we need we can gather...i donno how companies exactly work but cant we think abt it?
Armi: brilliant!! i think ridz has a point..a big one in fact...wat do u say?
Rahul: i agree, but we r all heading in different directions yaar....we've already started preparing for entrance exams and all
Ridz: i dint mean right now rahul, after 3-4 years
Muski: i got it.... when we have done watever we planned for now...finish ur studies, gain experience and then we can all get together, but capital?
Anji: we can try for loan
Sap: sounds great yaar..but i m not in
All: why???
Sap: well, my next step depends on amit, i have to follow him wherever he goes and we may get married, i m not sure if i can be a part of this...but if i am in a position to join u, i will definitely do that
(everyone looks disappointed)
Sap: cheer up guys, i m not leaving u right now..i m just not sure abt where i will be 3-4 years down the lane
(they decide to collect the information slowly after the final exams are over)

(later ridhima told armaan abt her talk with anji, wat anji thinks abt atul...armaan's face lit up and he immediately went to atul taking ridhima along with him)
Armi: atul, just follow anji wherever she goes
Atul: huh??!!! where is she going by the way?
Armi: nowhere...but she told ridz that she doesnt love you, she wants to think abt career first n that she may fall in love with someone later
(atul didnt understand anything and with a confused face he looked at ridz for help)
Ridz: ok wait, i'll tell u...armaan, u r confusing him...atul, i donno if i should tell u wat she told me but its not like a big secret, so i think i can...she doesnt love u but she likes u as a person and she thinks she will be happy with u, but right now she wants to think abt career only and she is hopeful that she'll meet someone special in the future whom she'll fall in love with
Armi: exactly...n she'll never meet anyone else
(ridz n atul shot a confused glare at him)
Armi: see, she'll fall in love if someone comes close to her na...u just go wherever she goes, join the same college, join the same company, just be with her and make sure she makes no new friends...i mean guys, then at the end, she'll marry you
Ridz: armaan, tum teekh ho? ye kya stupid idea de rahe ho usko?
Atul: no ridz, he is right...its enough if she thinks that i can be a good husband...well, i may not follow her wherever she goes, that may not be possible everytime but i'll defintely try to be with her whenever i can...not to block people from reaching her but to make her understand wat she means to me...i see hope...big hope...thanks ridz
(while coming back)
Armi: i hope they get married
Ridz: ya, i hope the same...but ur idea sounded so stupid bcoz of the way u said
Armi: jo bhi, idea tho sahi tha na
Ridz: wohi tho, tum acha idea ko bhi bakwaas bana sakte ho
Armi: shut up..u dont want to appreciate my talent, u r jealous
Ridz: u shut up, show me the talent first, then i'll appreciate
(and the bickering goes on and on and on...)

(college ended and on the last day... walking out of the college together, everyone was remembering the precious moments they spent there)
Ridz: [God!! u really listen to me carefully, dont u? i asked u to make me a strong, confident and independent individual...and i can see myself growing into one...u gave me wonderful friends..friends for life...and it is here that u blessed me with the biggest gift of my life..armaan...THANK YOU GOD!!]
(she moved towards armaan and held his hand...he smiled and pulled her closer....walking hand in hand they knew it is an eternal relationship...they may not live happily ever after... but joy or sorrow, hope or despair, pleasure or pain....they know they'll live through them, together)

The beginning of their journey of life and the end of this fanfiction.

thank you

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