Thursday, 6 July 2017

part 15 : Loves Me Loves Me Not

Next day:
(Ridhima enters the classroom...as usual she looks towards the last bench to see armaan..then she remembers her decision..turns her head instantly...but her heart is longing to see him once)
Ridz: [no ridz, be strict with urself]

(class starts...attendance time...waiting for armaan's number...hears his voice..smiles...but again remembers her decision..reprimands herself..next class...controlling herself not to turn back n see him...attendance time...she keeps herself busy to escape his thoughts...starts talking to sapna...but ears concentrating on a different thing...sapna is telling something, but she still hears his voice)
Ridz: [arghhh!! why why why?? why cant i keep myself away from him?? no..i can, i have to...yes i can i can i can] (starts chanting in her mind to make herself confident)
(next classes..she keeps trying continuously n failing continuously...the class before lunch...she is unable to stop herself now...praying that he passes by her in between the classes...trying to make an excuse to herself...to see him once...then cursing herself for searching an excuse..finally she gives up n turns back...armaan is looking at her, with smiling eyes..she smiles back..the moment she sees him, forgets everything she's been trying to do from morning..a single glance of him warms up her heart)
Ridz: [that smile, those eyes...ahh!!]
(remembers her mission n turns back swiftly)
Ridz: [no ridz no..dont go weak]

lunch time:
(ridz makes it a point to remember not to sit beside armaan)
Armi: tho saare drunkards hosh mein ho?
Sap: (in a low voice) armaan, zara apna moo bandh rakoge!!
Anji: (whispering) we r in college now
(armaan looks at ridz...surprised at no reaction from her)
Armi: so wat? lets ask ridz..ridhima, is the canteen rotating??
Ridz: (plainly) no
Armi: wat happened..u look lost
Ridz: nothing, i m alright (avoiding eye contact)
(she doesnt hear armaan saying anything...so she looks at him...he is looking at her curiously...making a gesture with his head meaning "wat happened?"..she just nods her head negatively..n turns towards muskaan)
Ridz: [this is way more tough than wat i thought..how can i not think abt him when we meet so often]

((for the next two days, ridz keeps trying her best to avoid seeing armaan n talking to him...going with her mind and against her heart..next day, they meet for coffee break, talk for sometime n leave the canteen..walking towards the classroom)
Armi: chasmish!!
(she turns)
Armi: wats the matter?
Ridz: wat?
Armi: wats the problem...tell me (she can hear the concern in his voice)
Ridz: nothing....no problem (looking everywhere except his face)
Armi: (seriously) look at me
(Ridz sees him...he is looking worried n confused)
Armi: wats wrong with u?? y r u not talking to me properly?? n y r u sounding so low??
Ridz: nahi armaan kuch nahi hain [sounding low??!! oh ya, i am actually gloomy]
(armaan holds her shoulders n looks straight into her eyes...she is surprised at his sudden action...looks at his hands n then his face)
Armi: ridhima, tell me wats troubling u
Ridz: [armaan!! ur concern is melting me..plz dont make it hard for me...dont make me grow more fond of u]
Armi: bolo na..mujhse gussa ho kisi baat pe?
Ridz: nahi yaar, aisa kuch nahi
(armaan leaves her...with a deep sigh...hurt visible on his face)

(that evening, at home)
Ridz: [avoiding armaan is really taking a toll on me!! i feel so sad n lost!! i rarely smiled in these 3 days...n i m hurting him also..shall i just stop all this? may be i m just overreacting...i m not even sure wat my feeling is n i am trying to avoid him just on my assumption that he is flirting]
(armaan's hurtful face flases in her eyes)
Ridz: [i cant continue this...he is so caring...so warm..such a nice friend...n he thinks he did something to make me upset!! i cant make him suffer bcoz of my confused feelings]
(her mobile starts ringing...an unfamiliar number)
Ridz: hello
Guy: hi ridhima
Ridz: hi...who is this?
Guy: u dint recognise me??!!
Ridz: no
Guy: but u know me
Ridz: i know u??!! hmm..but..i m sorry, i cant recognise ur voice, who r u?
Guy: guess
Ridz: (after thinking for a while) ahh!! i cant figure out
Guy: okay, i m vicky
Ridz: vicky??
Vicky: ya, how r u?
Ridz: i m fine[where did he get my number?shall i ask him??]
(she doesnt know wat to do now...talk or not..wat to talk..remains silent for a while)
Vicky: so? wat were u doing?
Ridz: hmm..nothing
Vicky: hey..u forgot abt my treat?
Ridz: treat? ya..hmm..woh[ab kya bolu?]
Vicky: this weekend
Ridz: no..sorry, i cant come
Vicky: just a casual meet up
Ridz: but
Vicky: please ridhima
Ridz: vicky, main..
Vicky: done, this sunday evening coffee day
Ridz: please listen, see i cant come[God!! y cant i be strict to anyone]
Vicky: please yaar, i will be waiting..ok then bye, see u on sunday
(hangs up)
Ridz: [wat to do now?? shall i go n meet him?? tell him i m not interested? or should i just skip it..then he will call me again..but how did he know my number...should i tell mom...no no...they will take it very seriously.. shall i tell armaan? no, he will again taunt me for not taking his idea...kya karoon??]

Next day in canteen:
Rahul: guess wat ridhima, u may have to flee from one more person?
Ridz: wat do u mean one more?
Rahul: ya, i came to know abt another guy who likes you
Armi: who??
Rahul: he is our senior
Armi: senior?? wats his name?
Rahul: arjun
Armi: (probing his mind) arjun?
Anji: ridz, now please dont tell me u dont want to hurt him also
Sap: ye lo, she will become a running champion then, running away from two two people (laughs)
Ridz: i m already worried bcoz of one...dont want to be so bighearted again
Muski: worried? is vicky troubling u?
Ridz: (covering up) no yaar...just tired of warding off
(they talk for sometime...n come out)
Armi: ridhima, wait..(looking at others) u guys go ahead, we'll come in 2mins
Armi: vicky is bothering you right?
Ridz: (surprised) vicky?
Armi: yes, i know there is some problem...tell me
Ridz: kuch nahi
Armi: (angrily) dont test my patience ridzy!!
Ridz: [i dont feel like lying to him...will tell...let him tease if he wants to]
Ridz: haan, he called me up yesterday, he wants to meet me this sunday
Armi: called u?? who gave him ur number?
Ridz: (shrugging) donno
Armi: wat did u say then?
Ridz: armaan, u know me, i cant be rude...he concluded that i will come..i donno wat to do now
Armi: hmm, do u want to go n clear up things?
Ridz: i dont think i can handle this properly
Armi: hmm...then dont go
Ridz: but, he will try again
Armi: u dont worry, i'll do something abt it, just dont meet him for now
Ridz: armaan, please koi jhagda mat karna
(he smiles n looks at her keenly with those hazel eyes)
Ridz: [ahh!! i was missing these looks!!]
Armi: so, y dint u tell me the problem before i asked u?
Ridz:[was is supposed to??] (pouting) i thought u'll mock at me again..for not taking ur advice
Armi: u know wat, u r an idiot of the highest order...bilkul duffer
Ridz: shut up
Armi: aur nahi tho kya.. u donno when i'll make fun...how did u top yaar? copy karke??
Ridz: shutup..i dont copy..ey, but i seriously thought u'll tease me again
Armi: u use ur brain only in studies ok...let me take care of other things in life
Ridz: acha!!?? (repeating his words) ["let me take care of other things in life"??!! LIFE??!! huhh!!]
Armi: haan..aur koi problem nahi hain na
Ridz: nahi
(Ridz is at peace now)
Ridz: [just talking to him makes me so happy!! but wat abt my mission...lemme keep it aside for now...i cant avoid him...but i shouldnt let my heart go out of my control]

(last class)
Armi: yo chasmish
Ridz: kya
Armi: y dont u sit in last bench today..with me
Ridz: (thinking) hmmm
Armi: o come on...dont strain ur small brain (showing the size with his hands)
Ridz: ey nautanki...dont irritate me
Armi: tum kar rahi ho nautanki...come
(he said this n dragged her to his place)
Ridz: [y is he taking me for granted...so dominating!! not bothered about anyone around!!??]
(both sit together..class starts..ridz is unable to concentrate on the lecture)
Ridz: [if i sit beside him everyday, forget abt topping the exams, i will pakka fail]
Armi: tho bewade..phir se disco jaan hain?
Ridz: armaan be quiet, sir dekhenge
(armaan writes in her notebook "shall i call up aunty n tell that u have become a drunkard?"...ridz reads this n gets irritated..pinches him)
Armi: ouch!!
Sir: armaan ridhima, get out!!
Ridz: sir!!
Sir: out!!
Armi: but sir
Sir: right now!!
(both come out...walking in corridor)
Ridz: arghh!! sab tumhari wajah se hua hain
Armi: arre...its u who pinched me
Ridz: aaha!! y did u write that?
Armi: (giggling) no i was seriously asking u??
Ridz: shut up
Armi: i thought u dont hide anything from ur parents
Ridz: ya, but not now..will tell sometime later
Armi: hmm..so, howz this experience of being thrown out of class
Ridz: actually..it feels different, never done things like this
Armi: get a taste of everything in life yaar
Ridz: (smiles) hmm
Armi: tho..ghar mein sab kaise hain
Ridz: fine, its my dad's birthday tomorrow..planning to gift something
Armi: good..wats the gift
Ridz: hmm...no idea...hey, u can help me
Armi: how?
Ridz: i wanted to gift him a shirt, but i have no idea about size n patterns...now,u will help me in selection
Armi: okay, lets go
Ridz: now?
Armi: yo chasmish, this was the last class
Ridz: oh ya, chalo then..i have money in my bag...lemme get it..
(they go near the window of the classroon...ask sapna to pass on her bag..take it n leave)
Ridz: but how to go
Armi: on my bike
Ridz: (hesitantly) ur bike?
Armi: ahh!! now dont waste time thinking abt silly things
Ridz: [silly things??!!]
(he doesnt wait for her answer...goes and gets his bike..there is no provision to sit on one side)
Ridz: cant i sit on one side?
Armi: no
Ridz: how do girls sit on ur bike then?
Armi: no girl ever sat (he said looking at her sharply)
Ridz: dont tell me u never had a girlfriend
Armi: i had a few..but not so serious to go on ride...just flirting types
Ridz: shameless!!
Armi: (grins) shall we go now...i will tell u more abt my affairs later
(Ridz is thinking)
Armi: u r anyway wearing jeans...wats the problem
(Ridz is still thinking)
Armi: aa rahi hain..ya main jau??
Ridz: ok ok
(hesitantly gets on to the bike..sitting on the edge...making sure there is lot of gap between him n her)

Guys, i know u all want a confession but i feel journey is as important as the destination n my ff is about the journey of love...how ridhima falls in love...or rather tries not to fall...wat r the phases of emotions n thoughts she goes through... the confusion, the turbulence, the restraint, the cautiousness.. i hope u still like it though it may seem dragging right now

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