Wednesday, 30 August 2017

PART 4: Trace Your Dreams



If I call him or meet him, he will know that I dreamt abt him. He will think he won, ofcourse he won but y should I let him know that. He said I will meet him, so I wont meet him. but then wat abt my habit. if I meet wat abt my other habit. ughh!! this guy challenges me on every step. either way I am a loser. its better to be a loser to myself than letting him know that I am actually one. ok decided then, I break my habit.. I wont meet him...i m such a cheater...haha...But..actually..i want to meet him..."r u on leave today?" my mom said standing at the entrance of my room..oh ya, its monday...i looked at watch... 7.30am...OMG!! I need to rush!!


Now I introduce you to a different person in me. The professional Riddhima Gupta. I leave the crazy riddhima at the entrance of my office when I swipe the ID card and get in. All the weird habits I told u abt me till now dont apply there. If I have to say yes, I say yes, not no. I dont mess with my job.

I reached office and went to my desk, armaan on my mind all the while...i started my work...flashes of the dream kept coming once in a while...but I pushed them off every time and concentrated on my work...my job requires me to be alert all the time...u'll find me busy most of the day....it was almost lunch time...i sent a high priority mail and laid back on my chair stretching my legs and looked up....i closed my eyes to relax for a minute...as soon as I closed my eyes what do I see, armaan ofcourse...he refuses to leave my mind...O God!! its not even half day n looks like I m going to have a hard time sticking to my decision..no no, I can, I can...

Neetu, my teammate is on leave for one week, we go for lunch together generally...so I went into the cafetaria alone, can join someone in lunch there...i scanned the menu board once twice thrice..."new items dont pop up on the menu if u see it again and again" I turned my head and saw abhi grinning...abhi is abhimanyu, he is one of the few friends I made at work...i smiled "ya, I know"..."sam's kitchen??" he said..."okay, lets go" I agreed....sam's kitchen is the cafe plus restaurant kind of thing a few buildings away from my office..we go there when we are bored with cafetaria and when we can afford a long lunch...

while walking I asked "ur shift changed? it was in evening right?"..."changed from today" he said..."oh ok"...we reached the place talking abt some office matters...settled on a table after paying for the food and waiting to serve..i sipped my coke...as is the norm from morning, my idle mind drifted towards armaan...as if he is standing at the entrance of my mind and waiting for a chance to jump in...i want to talk to him, y am I thinking so much when I can make a simple call...this is so unlike me...no, y cant he call? its a simple call for him also..."y are u staring into space and shaking ur head" abhi said....huh?!! wat?!! I looked at him confused..."i saw u doing that in office also " he said...was I really staring into space? n shaking my head also? may be..i might have done that everytime I tried to get my wandering mind back to work..."so, wats eating ur brain?"...armaan..."nothing" I said...i dont open up so easily...and now its even less probable when I myself donno wats happening to me...ofcourse I am attracted to armaan...but I donno why I feel this is more than just mere attraction...more deeper...is it love?...no no, not so fast...its too early to say that word..."see u did it again" abhi said..."what?!!"..."shaking ur head"...did I?...yes..i just nodded..cant deny after being caught red-handed..."any problem?" he asked..."no, I m just confused abt something...thats it"..."hmm, need help?"..."no...i can handle"..."dont think twice to call me if u need help" he said.. I smiled... had lunch talking about other stuff and came back...

The rest of the day passed the same way and while coming back home I couldnt stop wondering how was armaan's day...did he remember me even once? shall I just call muskaan n ask for his number? the way I was remembering him the whole day..its just so strange...well, if I could survive one day I think I can continue this... may be its just a passing cloud and I will forget him in sometime...lets see!!

But...I was wrong...that dream was only a starter...for the next four days, he occupied my every dream and nightmare...in a desert or a mountain or some temple or a haunted house or my house...he is in all of them...most of the dreams didnt make sense but he was a permanent member in every one of them...some I couldnt recollect fully in morning, just remembered some bits... but he was there... smiling at me, looking at me or sometimes just by my side...and I kept resisting the urge to call muskaan n ask about him....a few times, I would dial and cut the call before it starts ringing...its not about the habit anymore, its about my unceasing attraction towards him...if this is really love I want to see it coming out naturally...i know I will meet him, sooner or later..

I am in my nani's house...in the village...sitting under the huge neem tree in the backyard...armaan is sitting beside me...we were just staring at the plants.."u know i love this place" i said..."ya, its very peaceful"...then suddenly we r near the small pond in the middle of rice fields..."and this?" i asked enthusiasticaly..."its nice" he said smiling as if I am a 4yr old showing my first painting..."now i'll take u to a place" he said and the next moment we were in a beach...exotic.. breathtaking view...i forgot to breath...the sea with various shades of blue...white sand...small islands with trees and rocks...i looked at us, we both are wearing white...my hair is curled..I am in a perfect beach attire with knee length dress and yellow flower tucked behind my ear...how can i see myself so clearly without a mirror?.."where are we?" i asked.."bali" he said...we stood on the shore for sometime and then started playing in water...suddenly armaan stopped and pulled me closer...and closer...with wet hair and face, he is looking amazing ...he stared into my eyes...and then at my lips...my heartbeat is getting irregular...he brushed the hair away from my face and held them at the back of my neck...his hand buried in my hair...he leaned forward and...

I jolted up...what was that?!! i m breathing heavily...heart racing...I sat numb on my bed for a few minutes holding my knees, just recollecting the dream...i thought it was just attraction that might fade away but my mind and heart seem to be having bigger plans...and was that romantic?!! it was hell romantic!! after a long time, my heartbeat and breathrate returned to normal...and sleep flew out of my closed window...dont ask me how, ask my sleep...which came back to me somewhere early in the morning...

I woke up in the morning, i am in a strange mood today...disturbed like hell...his face stuck in my head blocking my vision for any other usual thing...how can someone effect a person so much in just one meeting...

The day at work also looks hard but I have to manage...i cant mess my work...after lunch hour, I glanced at the ticker as a part of the monitoring I do daily... 'Business: Anil Ambani released the Q1 results of the year 2018 of Reliance Communications'....huh?!! 2018?? typing error!! this new guy vicky na...ufff!! he joined my team last week and gives me such shocks now n then...he should have proofread before sending into the stream....anyways, I quickly typed the sentence correctly and just before I clicked 'Send' something caught my attention...'Armaan Ambani'...i blinked my eyes at the screen to make sure I read it right...yes, thats wat I wrote...O MY GOD!! whats this?!! Did I have it so bad??!!...first, I corrected the name n sent it...but I couldnt relax...vicky atleast predicted the company's 2018's business but I completely renamed the owner?!!! wah wah!! wonderful!! wat did u to me armaan? this is not me, definitely not...armaan, get out of my head!! I m warning you!!...his crazy laughter flashed in my eyes and resounded in ears...I closed my eyes and shut my ears with my hands..i wish God had provided the some similar facility for mind also...to shut your mind n stop thinking whenever u want...alas!! Now, I have to meet him...i donno when n where n how but I just have to...

I lifted my head brushing my hair with fingers..muskaan's name is flashing on my phone..its in silent mode..i grabbed it swiftly and answered.."hello"..."hey ridz"..."hi muskaan"..."r u busy?".."ya slightly, tell me"..."i need a help yaar... we had come to register our marriage n we need one more witness...my friend had some unexpected work, so she couldnt come...can u come down to the registration office?"..."now?!!"..."ya, like in an hour"..."umm, where is it?"..."not very far i think, hai na armaan?" she said...aaha!! armaan!! "must be like 7-8kms away" I heard his voice in the background... i smiled..."ok, I will call u back in 5mins"...she said "ok"..i hung the phone n rushed to my boss keerti's cabin...to ask for permission for 2 hrs...i hope she agrees...i dont want to miss this chance of a 'co-incidental' meeting with armaan...he has like held my mind and heart as hostage...wonder wat are his demands to release me...or may be he doesnt ever want to release...oh my my, I m blushing now...i need to take it easy, take it slowly...

keerti gave me the permission but remined me about the meeting i have at 4, i need to comeback by then...its an important meeting, i cant miss it...i said ok and left her cabin...called muskaan and asked her the exact location...while going in the cab an obvious thought came in mind..did muskaan or rahul or armaan dint know any other person? why did they call me? i m not even very close to muskaan...i mean i m not a very obvious choice for signing as a witness...as far as i know the only requirement is that person should be a major... was that armaan's idea?i wish it is... well, i m happy to get a chance to see armaan involuntarily, esp after today's dream...i m getting desperate to reach the place n catch a glimpse of that face which is pasted in my head from past 5 days...

I reached the place and called muskaan again to tell the exact room..i followed her instructions and went in...my eyes madly searching for armaan among the crowd...ahh!! there he is!! my object of affection!!

Harika

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