Sunday, 3 September 2017

PART 6: Trace Your Dreams


He looked at me coughing...fright written all over his face...i stared at him blankly, its as if my mind doesnt want to process the information it just received..."u alrite?" rahul asked armaan...he nodded swiftly and faced muskaan..."eyy, I already told you she is not my girlfriend"..."and I already told you I dont believe you" muskaan said leaning back in the chair and crossing her hands against chest...he groaned "muskaan!!"...she reverted in the same tone "armaan!!"..."its such a waste to explain to
u"..."then dont"..."oh!! so that you can continue to presume things"... "presume? really?!! stop fooling me armaan"..."i dont have to do that seperately, you already are"..."see, this is wat you do everytime, divert the topic"..."both of you stop now!!" rahul interfered..."continue ur fight at home ok...let us have dinner in peace" he said smiling at me apologetically...i smiled back with utmost difficulty and looked at my plate...thats the only object in my surroundings I can trust to not read my expressions right now...and eating is the only activity I can rely on...to buy some time...to clear my head...to understand wat the hell is happening here...and I have no idea if he is looking at me

What did I just hear? armaan has a girlfriend? or doesnt have? y wud muskaan argue so strongly then? but he argued back equally..."by the way no one answered ridhima's question" rahul said breaking the silence...hearing my name, I lifted my eyes from the plate..."abt nikita" rahul clarified..."oh ya, she is an air hostess ridz...she must be in Austraila now" muskaan said..."no, she will be on return flight from NewZealand" armaan said...muskaan gave a 'see-i-caught-you' look..."umm...i..i just remember what she told us when we met last week" he said looking at me hopefully...i continued the neutral expression, still in shock..."why dont I remember then, she is my friend too..infact first mine n then urs" muskaan demanded.."wat can I do if my memory is good n yours is bad?" armaan said smiling at me confusedly...before I could react muskaan said "u r so intelligent armaan!!"..."i know" armaan shrugged her sarcasm...i looked at my plate again...
O God!! does anyone here bother to tell me the truth?!! I do exist here right? that too with an agitated mind...ughh!! I feel like strangling this man sitting beside me until he spills the facts...ok cool down...relax...relax...answers, yes I need answers...whom to ask? armaan?...muskaan?...just then muskaan got up saying "i will be back in 2mins".."where r you going?" I asked.."washroom" she said...ok done, i'll ask her..."wait, I m coming too" I said..."y do you have to go together?!!" armaan asked with a frown..."wats your problem?" muskaan asked stressing on 'your'...he looked at me n sighed "nothing, go!!"...rahul chuckled "girls!!"..we went away ignoring both the men

How do I ask her? I should sound natural...think think..."muski, can you give me nikita's number, anji wants it"...."ya sure, but most of the times she doesnt answer the calls, if she is at work..tell her to try a few times"..."ok"...after a pause I asked "umm, r armaan n nikita really going around?"..."donno yaar, he denies and she accepts...armaan is generally very straightforward but when it comes to nikita, he doesnt answer straight....u've seen na how he avoids her topic"..."hmm" I said...ok two points here, one - he is generally straightforward?!! nah!! I disagree, he always riddles with me...and two - he is not frank abt nikita, that somewhat puts her on the same pedal as me...or higher?..."i introduced her 1yr ago in didi's marriage n they hit it off instantly...he is a born flirt but this time I really hope he is serious abt her...u know, she is ready to even leave her job to settle down with him...i think armaan is just a bit unsure, I m eagerly waiting for them to make the announcement..i would love to see my bestfriends getting married" muskaan said excitedly

My heart is sinking...its getting heavier with each fraction of second passing...tears are brimming in my eyes...i quickly went into the washroom and locked the door...y did he behave like a single? why armaan? I closed my eyes and tears rolled down my cheeks....this is ridiculous!! I m crying for a guy I barely know...this is just the third time I am meeting him...but he made me feel all those beautiful emotions I never felt before...from the moment we met, I am a new person...i hate this change in me...i hate him for changing me... I wish I met him before nikita, I wish muskaan introduced me before her, I wish I was close to muskaan, I wish I was I touch with her all these years, I wish I dreamt abt her earlier...i wish I could erase the past week from my life...no, I dont want to erase, I dont want to forget him, his eyes, his intense gaze, his dimples, his touch, his concern, his mischief...i ran my fingers through my hair..."ridz" muskaan called from outside..."ha?! umm..muski, you go first" I said...she said ok and left

Wat shall I do now? ask armaan directly? ask wat? abt nikita or abt me? why will he tell me when he dint tell muskaan, his close friend? I mean I have no right to ask him abt his relationship with nikita... even if I ask, am I ready to hear the truth? I cant hear him saying he loves nikita...this is reminding me of those days when we used to get exam results and I used to stay away from the notice board...i used to send my friends to know my result if I am scared that i'll fail in any subject...biology in school, electronics in college, armaan in love...but this is big...my heart is at stake now...i want and also dont want to know the facts... arghhh!! this is so messy... I feel so lost...why did this nikita enter into my life now? you know wat, I was wrong...i take back those words I said in the starting while going to muskaan's house...strike off the sentence that how much ever we hate people in school, we'll love everyone after that... I dont love her, I hate her...for making me so helpless...for making me not wanting to get out of this washroom...for making me afraid to face him...for making me scared to know the truth... ok ok, I know she is not responsible for all this...may be armaan is also not responsible...it was all attraction and imagination from my side....may be he will be happy with her, its clear that she loves him....i sighed...ok, i cant stay here forever...i came out of the washroom and looked at myself....mascara smudged all over my cheeks...i washed my face and made myself look normal...atleast look!! then I realised I am wearing a saree, my heart winced again....i wore it for armaan...i feel so dejected, I cant believe I was the same girl arguing with abhi yesterday that this is just a crush...a crush which crushed my heart!!

I came out and sat beside armaan...we stared at each other...the concern in his eyes, I couldnt have mistaken...may be he knows wat I am feeling right now...this cant get worse!!...i looked away and remained calm for the rest of the dinner...except nods and smiles, I dint interact much with anyone...i could sense that armaan is keeping an eye on me...i am scared to look at him...after the dinner, we came out...armaan went to get the car from parking lot...i want to leave before he comes...he reminds me of the notice board...isnt it strange that an impatient person like me is avoiding the confrontation...wats new in that, he has challenged and changed all my habits...

"ok guys, I will leave now" I said to muskaan and rahul..."we had a nice time yaar..be in touch ok...all the best" muskaan said..."good luck ridhima, take care" rahul said...i wished them luck.. "hey you asked for niki's number right? take it" she said..i saved it in my mobile and got into a cab...leaving the place, I feel like I m leaving my life behind me

may be I should have waited for armaan...i donno when i'll see him again...but I prefer to be left alone when I am upset...otherwise i'll end up getting furious on whoever I see...tears r coming back...how silly!! I never thought M3 would leave my heart in such a pathetic state...all this is so strange!!...my phone rang...i dont want to talk to anyone now...it kept riniging, after 4th time I answered... "hello"... "riddhima"...its armaan...my hands are trembling, I closed my eyes leaning back in the seat and remained silent...why did u call me now armaan? wat do u want to say now?..."riddhima, stop the cab"..."huh?!!"...."i m right behind u, please come out"...i looked back to see his car following mine..."armaan!!"..."please!!" he said earnestly...i stopped the cab, paid the fare n came out

I went towards his car that was stopped on side of the road...he opened the door from inside...i looked at him...the same passionate gaze that has been enchanting me from one week...i sat in silently and looked down..."i couldnt continue to keep hoping and waiting for a concidental meeting riddhima" he said soulfully

Harika

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