Tuesday, 24 October 2017

part 10 : The Second

            Armaan had to admit, it wasn't so bad spending time with Ridhima at the mall. They had not bought anything much, just looked around and had lunch there. It was getting close to dinner time and Armaan had offered to take Ridhima to his favorite restaurant.
            He liked talking to her. They did not talk about any important subject, but just simple ones, such as favorite movie or best books to read. The restaurant had a valet. Ridhima noticed all the cars driving to or from the restaurant were just as expensive as Armaan's five million euro car.
            Before even taking a good look at the restaurant from the outside, Ridhima knew the place was probably to expensive for even the higher middle class to afford. They got out of the car. And Armaan took Ridhima by the waist and led her in.

            All day at the mall Armaan had been close to Ridhima. She liked his closeness, but sometimes it felt weird. When she thought about it, it seemed odd that once in her life she had been held the same way with Anvil and now being held by his best friend.
            "Table for two?" The waiter had a heavy German accent. Ridhima was surprised how even in a German country so many people spoke English, which in a divers country like the United States, barley anyone spoke in another language but English and their native language.
            "Yes please" Armaan said as they were led to a table in the corner. It was a quiet place. Away from the crowd. After Armaan and Ridhima received their menus the waiter left.
            "I don't know what to order" Ridhima said looked at the weird German names. She understood a few things written in German but for the most part was unsure what to pick.
            "You want me to pick for you?" Armaan asked
            "Please" Ridhima said with a confused smile as she looked down at the menu.
            Armaan called on the waiter. Another thing Ridhima found new. Usually in New York, the waiters came to ask if you were ready to order, but in Germany, the people would have to call the waiters to tell that they were ready to order.
            One thing Armaan loved of Germany was the simple fact that there wasn't a strict policy on the drinking age. Well it didn't matter much since he was twenty-one, but he was planning on getting Ridhima drunk with him.
            When the food arrived Ridhima frowned looked at the bottle of wine being set in front of her. "I'm not old enough to drink" she said
            "You are in this country" Armaan said as he poured in some wine in her glass and his. "well, I don't drink" she said refusing to drink.
            "you did when…" Armaan said not actually saying it but Ridhima knew what he meant by when.
            "I'm not drinking because that was the first and last time I had drunk" she said pushing the glass away from her back to Armaan.
            Armaan just push the glass back to Ridhima as he said "If you end up waking up cloth less in my bed then I will kill myself for you." Ridhima did not buy his statement as she said. "Why do you want be drunk anyway?"
            "Because people speak the truth when drunk" He said, keeping his motive question of his a secret.
            "And what truth do you want out of me? I have no secrets that you already do not know" She said with subspecies eyes.
            "Well, I want to know if you would dare to fall in love with me when you still are madly in love with my dead best friend." Armaan said leaning across the table towards her looking at Ridhima's eyes. He had a serious face on. He had that face a lot when he did not want people knowing what he was thinking. Ridhima just looking at him. It was true that she loved Anvil but that did not mean she was so in love with him that she would never fall in love again.
            "I'm not madly in love with him, I will always love him, but that doesn't mean I can't move on and love someone else too." She said leaning back in her chair farther away from Armaan's gaze.
            "But what if I don't want that? What if I want my wife to love just me and no other man? No matter if he was dead or alive?" Armaan had his serious face on. Ridhima could not read his face to know what he was thinking. But she could see that he was being serious. Armaan wanted her to love only him, how selfish of him! She thought. He wanted her to love only him even when the man she loves is dead! And not only that but that man used to be Armaan best friend too. How could he ask her to just dare to fall in love with him and only him when they weren't even good friends?
            "Well that is never going to happen." Ridhima made it clear as she ate her food. She had to admit it was some good tasting food.
            "So, what am I to you then?..."Armaan asked "…Am I always going to remain the second guy in your life, to always be the second in line?" Armaan did not like that idea. It was true he was being probably the worst friend to anyone. But Anvil had said in his will to love Ridhima, than Armaan believed he had the right to love her, despite the fact that his best friend loved her too. And he expected the same out of Ridhima, if he was going to commit to try to make things work with her and only her, then he expected her to love him and only him.
            "Yeah maybe you will always remain the second" Ridhima said with her green eyes.
            "Well at least I was the first to sleep with you" Armaan said as he picked up his glass of vine, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip if it.
            That was the end of that conversation, the rest of their dinner seemed silent and quite. Armaan knew he did not love Ridhima at the moment but he knew if the effort was made he could fall in love with her. But he did not want to fall in love with her if in the end she would not love him with a whole heart. It would hurt him too much, and he just did not like being hurt, especially when it came to the matters of the heart.
            Ridhima had drunk a little bit of the wine but pretty clear in her senses of where she was, what she was say, and who she was saying it to.
            After dinner, Armaan like a gentle man took her home, she seemed to look more tried them Armaan despite the fact that she was at home all day and he at work. By the time Ridhima got to the room and changed she was almost dead asleep mumbling to herself.   Armaan to was about to get in bed beside her when he heard her mumble "I loved you Anvil, I miss you…" and then she was dead asleep. All of a sudden Armaan did not want to sleep. He sat down at the edge of the bed looked at Ridhima.
            He missed his best friend too. But he still wanted Ridhima to see only him. He wanted her to love only him. He did not want to be the second guy in her life, he wanted to be the only guy in her life. He knew it was unfair to her. But what about himself? Ridhima had gotten the chance to experience love, but he never got that. Armaan was married to Ridhima and if she wasn't going to make an effort to love him, then he would never really know what love is when returned back. It's easy to love someone but to get that person to love you back is very hard.
            Armaan looked outside from his window. He could not see the rain but he could hear it. It hit the window making a soft peaceful thudding noise. He just sat there listening to the rain the sound calmed him, relaxed him, and made him feel like someone was there for him and only him.


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