Friday, 27 October 2017

part 11 : The Second


            "Well Ridhima, looks like you managed to make every head line in the German papers today" Falak said as she took as seat beside Ridhima at the breakfast table. Like every morning Falak and Ridhima would have lunch at eight in the morning while Armaan would be long gone to work.
            Ridhima took the news paper in her hand the title read. 'Die neue Frau von Armaan' or 'Armaan Malik's new woman.'

            Ridhima was actually surprised at the story, she really was. Not one person in any papers found out that they were married. She managed to get to the front cover of every German magazine as Armaan's new interest, but not one paper had the true story.
            "I tell you, German reporters are quite slow in their reporting" Falak said as she took a spoon full of cereal and shoved it in her mouth. It was a good thing it was a Sunday. Falak was personally getting tired of having to go to school six days a week instead of five like she used to back in New York.
            "Yeah tell me about it" Ridhima said agreeing with Falak on her statement.
            "Well, Ridhima, we haven't talked much since you have gotten here. How's everything going between you and Armaan?" Falak asked she knew that Armaan and Ridhima no long fraught like stupid little crazy children anymore. What Falak really wanted to know was if love was coming between her two best friends. It wasn't like Falak did not think of Anvil when she thought of Ridhima falling in love with Armaan, but she knew her brother would have wanted Ridhima to fall in love with another after his dead, and who better of another guy then Armaan.
            "I think we are friends" Ridhima said unsure if Armaan would consider her a friend. But she thought of him as a sort of friend. She was able to talk to him about easy topics and the more difficult ones like yesterday night at dinner.
            "But don't you love him?" Falak asked, she really wanted Ridhima to love Armaan. Falak was just that person, she could see that it would better if Armaan and Ridhima just let go of the past and lived in the present. What was gone, was gone, what was done, was done. She was Ridhima's best friend. It wasn't like she didn't know what had happened between Armaan and Ridhima three years ago.
            "it's complicated" Ridhima said trying to push away from the subject.
            "No its not, it's either you love a person or you don't, it's just that simple."
*****
            Could it really be that easy? Ridhima thought as she sat in the living room. The TV was running but her attention was to her own thoughts. Falak had gone to bed early tonight.
            Ridhima could not come to think of love a simple as Falak did. To her love was complicated. The situations around her made love complicated. But to Falak it was different, for her it was simple. Love someone one day and another, another day. To Falak love was what it was, just love. To Ridhima love was just different.
            The clock struck ten. Armaan wasn't to be home for another half hour. She continued to sit in the living room just thinking. She was attracted to him, that was obvious, he knew that she was attracted to him. And she knew that he was attracted to her. but what she did not know was, could a person love again if their whole heart was given to another long ago.
            Shouldn't she at least try to love Armaan? Just to know what it would be like. She knew well what love is to feel like. Maybe just giving Armaan a chance wouldn't be so bad. She had not fought with him in over a week. They had stuff in common to talk about. They had each other to talk about stuff. Maybe they could make things right with each other.
            Ridhima did not notice when Armaan had come through the door and in the living room, but she was started hearing his voice from behind her. She jumped a little in her seat and turned around to see Armaan standing there. Just so casually standing there. He had his usually buttoned up coat, unbuttoned. The top of his shirt unbuttoned, and his tie in his hand just dangling almost to the floor.
            "your still up?" Armaan questioned at he took a seat beside Ridhima on the couch. He was tired, but did not want to sleep tonight. He wanted to just sit there and talk. Just wanted to say something to Ridhima, just to hear someone anyone talk of anything besides business.
            "I couldn't sleep" Ridhima said. The living room in which she sat in was dimly lit so as to only be able to see a shadow of Armaan's face.
            "Come here" Armaan said as he stretched out a hand for Ridhima to take. Ridhima stood up and took Armaan's hand unsure of his purpose.
            Armaan pulled Ridhima to the chair he sat in and on his lap. He did not know why he did that. He just did. He wanted to seduce her to bed like an idiot.
            "What are you doing?" Ridhima whispered to him
            "I don't know, doing something stupid" Armaan replied back. He kissed her neck with one gentle kiss. And just held her after. 
            "Come to bed with me" Armaan said as he continued to hold on to her with both his arms wrapped around Ridhima's stomach.
            Ridhima knew very well what he meant by his words. "You don't love me." She stated. She did not have to ask Armaan that answer to that question. She knew Armaan did not love her, and probably would not make the effort to try unless she committed to make the effort also.
            "Does it matter?" He asked. He did not care at the moment to love his wife. His wife was his wife, and if he bloody hell wanted her in his bed then why was it that he had to ask her. His respected for a woman always got in the way from him getting what he wanted.
            "It does to me" Ridhima said in hushed tone.
            "I could just force you" Armaan said
            "But you won't" Ridhima said, knowing quite well that Armaan would never do such a thing to her.
            Armaan set her off his lap as he stood up with her. He was just inches away from Ridhima, he wasn't exactly angry, but nor was he looking to seduce her right there. He just looked at her with a scrawl on his face and said "I gonna tease you in bed tonight so much, that you'll be begging me to take you" Armaan went up to his room leaving Ridhima behind. He did not know what had come over him. He did not know why he wanted to sleep with Ridhima, he could have just cheated on her with any woman in his office if he wanted to get laid. But it wasn't that. There was something about her that he wanted. He wanted something of hers that he could not have. And sleeping with her was just one of those many things of hers that he could not have. The love from her was something he could not force out of her. But this one thing he could weaken her to give to him.
            As Ridhima walked towards her room she felt scared, she could just not go to the room and run, but then Armaan would try again the next day. She would just have to be strong about it and not give into his stupid demand or desire or whatever it may be.
            She walked in the room to see Armaan already in bed. She headed for the restroom. On the bathroom mirror there was something written on it with one or Ridhima's lipsticks that she never used.
Your eye's so green
Your cheeks so bright
Your lips so rosy'
' I die to kiss them
            He was trying to soften her heart. She knew it, the worst part about it was that it was working. Ridhima washed her face, and brushed her teeth trying hard not to smile at the phrase written on the mirror.
            After coming out of the bathroom, she saw Armaan asleep. She sighed inwardly and made her way to her side of the bed. She was fooled to thinking he was asleep. As soon as Ridhima was in bed Armaan grabbed her from behind holding her down beneath him.
            "Hello, darling." He grinned down at her with a handsome grin.
            "Armaan" Ridhima said, but could not say anything more, she did not know what to say.
            He kissed down on the corner of her mouth. He was teasing her. Boy did she hated him at the moment. he could feel his hands creep up on her back and stomach.
            "Armaan, can you please stop this right now!" Ridhima said as she pushed him off of her with everything in her power. She then turned so he was below her.
            "What now?" He asked. looking up at her green eyes.
            "Will you please just for once, just keep your hands to yourself. I'm not a type of person that does something like this without love." Ridhima said as she started to move away from Armaan but he caught her again and moved her below him.
              "Then what am I to do? Just be your husband and be faithful to you for the rest of my life with no chance of love, with no chance of having children one day, or'" Ridhima cut in Armaan's words.
            "I never said I wouldn't love you! I just can't love you with a whole heart. And if you're so stubborn to except what I give you'" now it was Ridhima's turn to be cut off by Armaan words. Both their voices were starting to rise but they made an effort not to yell
            "So I am to love you with a full heart, while you just give me a little piece of scrap to hold on to?" He looked at her as he held on to her below him.
            "It's not like that, why can you just understand'"
            "No Ridhima, I cannot understand. I will never understand because I have never been in love! And me being married to you will never allow me to be in love!" He said as he let her go, he did not want to speak to her anymore. He turned his back to Ridhima to show that he did not want to be disturbed or hear anything from her anymore. He was hurt. In the end who was he to go to for love if his own wife would refuse to give to him just that.
            Ridhima laid there, she turned her back to Armaan's back. It wasn't fair to him that he was married to her. She knew very well that Armaan would never leave her. He was just too old fashioned to be like that. He was committed to the marriage and she knew he would suffer every moment of it until he died but he would not leave her.

Lina 

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