Wednesday, 6 December 2017

Part 11 : Remember this (Arsh ff)


Armaan walked into his house in a foul mood it had been 4 days since his talk with muskaan but he had yet to talk to shilpa. To make matters worse rahul had cornered him in the hospital and asked what had he done to shilpa that she was looking for a place to live. This piece of news so unexpected had made him feel as if his head was going to blow off.

So when he stalked in and saw shilpa sitting in the lounge skimming through the newspaper he felt a spurt of anger. When she looked up and smiled at him and asked: hey! You're early today!
Armaan snarled: why? Was I suppose to ask your permission first before coming home?
Shilpa was shocked at armaan's tone of voice: armaan! Whats wrong?
Armaan not able to control himself: you tell me shilpa! whats wrong? What happened in the last couple of days that you've decided to move out and that too without talking to me first.
Shilpa face brightened as understanding dawned: armaan! Its not what you think! We were chatting in the cafeteria and this girl mentioned that she had a spare room in her apartment and I thought why not give it a look.
Armaan: but why shilpa? why all of a sudden an interest in living on your own?
Shilpa shook her head unable to comprehend his mood: armaan! I can't live here all my life. Plus I heard your parents are coming over to visit you, I think it would be better that I moved out before they came.
Armaan narrowed his eyes: what do my parents have to do with anything?
Shilpa took a deep breath: you know why? Armaan just imagine what they'll think! They would consider it highly inappropriate, its better that I move out.
Armaan clenched his teeth and resisted the urge to scream: you've been living with me for the last 5 months and all of a sudden you think it is inappropriate!
Shilpa trying to stay calm: armaan we both know that these living arrangements could not be permanent. You took me in b'coz I had no place to go and as I was not in a condition where I could take care of myself. But now things have changed!
Armaan: how? Explain it to me! you still don't know who you are? And you still don't have any place to go to. So whats the hurry?
Shilpa finally felt the calm she had been trying to hold on to slip: b'coz now I can take care of myself. B'coz no matter what you say I can't go on living with you like this, the society does not understand. Plus I need to stand on my own feet.
Armaan felt the rational part of his brain disappear: so you don't want to live with me b'coz the society frowns upon it.
Shilpa squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them again: that is part of the reason the other part is that I need to start living on my own if I want to reclaim my life.
Armaan: you are doing this only b'coz we don't have any lawful relation, and people would talk.
When shilpa stayed quiet and looked at him: you want a reason to stay, ok. Marry me ! marry me and continue to live here.
Shilpa couldn't believe her ears: what did you say?
Armaan more strongly, he walked upto her and pulled her with her hand towards him: marry me! and stay with me forever. You won't have to worry about what the people say or who you are? You would have a new identity.
Shilpa looked at him in a daze: why? What do you get out of this?
Armaan pulled her body close to his as they touched shilpa gasped: you! We both are attracted to one another the past couple of months it has become a challenge to keep my hands away from you(as he pressed her closer molding her soft body to his hard contours a shudder ran through shilpa)
Joy had spread through shilpa at the start of armaan sentence but as he ended she was disappointed. Was what he felt for her only attraction, she was not denying that she was attracted to him. Her body couldn't deny her reaction to his touch, even now when her heart throbbed to hear the words she yearned for her body molded to his and her hands moved on its own to rest on his chest and back.
Shilpa looked up at his beloved face: is that reason enough for you to take such a huge step.
Armaan pressed his lower half of the anatomy into her's making her gasp and moan: seems like a good reason to me. people have gone into a relationship for lot less. So say yes! And you won't have to leave me ever.
Shilpa looked into his eyes and felt her heart break. All the dreams she had been harbouring about them being together came crashing down. She had wanted him to say that he loved her and was willing to wait for her. She looked down at her hand resting on his heart and knew she couldn't do what he asked.
Shilpa raised her head and pushed him back with her hand: no!
Armaan quietly: why?
Shilpa: b'coz there has to be more! I know you care for me armaan but marriage is a very big step. You don't get into it so that you can help somebody or b'coz you've got the hots for them. But the biggest reason armaan! I can't do it! How can I commit myself to you or anybody when I don't know myself.
Armaan looked ready to argue but shilpa continued: I need to do this! I need to find myself armaan!
Armaan looked at her beautiful face and felt like howling to the moon: how are you going to do that?
Shilpa smiled deprecatingly: I don't know! But I'm going to try! I'm going to try and learn about myself by living on my own. Try and build a life myself. But I won't be able to do it armaan without you.
Armaan looked at her determined face and saw genuine affection and something more reflected in her eyes: I can't do it without my best friend, my savior there to support me.
Armaan closed his eyes against her words and tried to breathe through the pain that surrounded his heart.
It had taken her a week but finally shilpa had moved out and was living with a girl who worked in sanjeevani as a nurse. Armaan tried to control his anxiety by telling himself that she wasn't exactly alone, there was someone living next to her who could come to her aid when the need arises.
Muskaan and rahul had both gone with shilpa to check out the apartment and its location. On the day of moving armaan had himself driven shilpa over to her new place with her meager belongings. As he was about to leave shilpa had stopped him: armaan! I wanted to thank you for every thing!
Armaan looked at her beautiful face and cursed himself for not having the courage to declare his feelings: no thanks needed! was just doing my duty.
Shilpa's smile dimmed a bit at his response, making armaan bite his tongue. Shilpa held out her hand in lieu of a good bye, which armaan took hesitantly and shook. Armaan didn't want to let go, he wanted to yank her in his arms and keep her there forever. Shilpa looked at armaan's stern face and wanted to hurl herself in his arms but she wanted to mean so much more to him than duty. But more than that she needed to be her own person, she needed to be someone armaan could rely on.
A month had passed since shilpa had moved out, a month since armaan had started to find his home a torture to go to. Every room had a memory of her he couldn't wait for the morning to come so that he could rush to the hospital to see her on the reception. Hear her beautiful voice when she answered the telephone, the way her hands moved across the desk to grab a pen, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, her sparkling eyes. He  missed her.
Shilpa knew when armaan entered sanjeevani, she had her ear tuned in for his arrival. His quick step down the corridor, the murmur of his voice as he greeted doctors and nurses as he made his way to her. She drank into his sight greedily, checking for signs that he was taking care of himself or not. Even though she had a place of her own now she thought of armaan's house as home and missed it. She shut the yearning she felt for him and his home in a little corner of her heart and put up a brave front.
Shilpa had started another job in the evening, armaan found out from rahul. He tried to talk to her ask her where she was working but he kept getting held up by patients. He got hold of muskaan and asked her if she knew where shilpa was working but even muskaan didn't know the details.
Rahul managed to convince armaan and muskaan to go out for drinks  at a club. Even though armaan was resistant to the idea initially rahul with muskaan's help convinced him to come. They managed to get a table in the crowded club and waited for a server to come to them to take their order. Armaan pretended to listen to rahul talk but his mind was busy with thoughts of shilpa, he was wondering where she was and what she was doing? He was restless and looked around the crowded club for a server who could get them drinks so that he could get out of here. As his gaze swept the room his breath stopped as a familiar figure enthralled him.
Shilpa knew for a fact that she had done this before as she made her way around the crowded club with a tray over her head. She knew how to take orders and remember the exact order of them. She knew how to serve the drinks, be friendly with the guests and work around the different tables. Most of all she remembered how tired her feet felt. As placed four set of tequila's on a table and made her way back to the bar, the manager told her to take the order of table 5.
Shilpa made her way to the table and stopped as she got first look of the table inhabitants. Rahul sat in the middle with muskaan on his side, who was trying her hardest to ignore him while rahul was his usual bantering self. But what had stopped her mid stride was the sight of the man she had been yearning for every minute of every day. Armaan! Her heart called his name, he sat their in jeans and black shirt brooding, his eyes hooded, hair tumbling across his forehead mouth unsmiling. His gaze was sweeping the crowded room but stopped as they lighted on her.
It felt as if the whole world stood still for that moment. In that minute shilpa knew that she had never felt this way about anyone else. She felt her heart swell at the sight of him, that one look was enough for her to make her go through the day. Armaan drank into the sight of her, she looked different as his eyes swept over her figure as she made her way to their table.
Shilpa: hey guys!(she pasted a huge smile on her face) its nice to see you guys outside the hospital.
Rahul: hey so you work here at the club!(shilpa nodded)
Shilpa: so what will you guys have!
As they gave their orders armaan kept staring at shilpa as if memorizing each detail of her: you look different!
Shilpa looked at him: well! (shilpa had hair pulled back in a pony tail, her lips were colored a peachy pink, while her eyes were lined with kohl. She wore a black silk blouse with the top two buttons left opened over a black fitted skirt which ended above her knees and on her feet she had two inch heeled sandals) I guess I'm dressed differently than I usually do.
Muskaan jumped in: I think you look lovely! The little bit of cosmetics you've used have just brought out your features beautifully!
Shilpa smiled and was about to leave to get their orders when armaan spoke up: you look beautiful (shilpa's eyes swept up to look at his face and after murmuring a thank you she beat a hasty retreat)
Shilpa brought their drinks to the table but could not stay and chat as there was quite a crowd. Armaan's eyes continued to follow her as she made her way across the room placing drinks infront of different guests. He noticed how she was friendly and smiled at everyone, he also noticed how some of the guys tried to flirt with her. He also noticed how she managed to avoid the more blatant overtures of flirtation along with the hands which had the tendency to turn grabby.
Muskaan leaned across rahul and talked to armaan: she seems quite confident at what she is doing. I especially like the way she maneuvered around those guys.
Rahul: looks like she knows her way around people. No shrinking violet here.
Armaan grunted as his eyes were busy following her around as and she had recently gone at the back and was still not back. After 5 minutes has passed and shilpa had still not returned, armaan got up and excused himself. He quickly made his way to the back where he had seen shilpa disappear and walked down a narrow hall. He was halfway down it when he saw shilpa leaning against the wall with her eyes closed, he quickly walked up to her and gently cradled her cheek in his hand.
Armaan: shilpa! are you alright?
Shilpa opened her eyes at his first touch and looked into his blue eyes filled with concern: I'm fine! Just a little tired. Taking a break(she added with a smile)
Armaan continued to cradle her cheek: you sure?
His concern touched shilpa's heart but she wanted so much more from him than just concern. She smiled at him while pulling his hand away from her face: so how was your parents visit?
Armaan shrugged: it was ok! (his hand clenched into a fist feeling the loss of her skin)
As they stood their talking a bunch of rowdy guys walked down the hall in their direction. As they were goofing around themselves, pushing and jostling, they ended up pushing armaan onto shilpa. Armaan felt himself pitch towards shilpa, he managed to slow the momentum and was able to stop himself from crushing shilpa. But the position they ended up in was far more intimate than both had bargaine for. Armaans arms rested on the wall along her head to keep himself from crushing her but the rest of their bodies were fully aligned to on another. His hips pressed into her stomach, his chest was pressed to her breasts, her fingers had clenched around his waist while their mouths were scant inches away from one another.

Amani

No comments:

Post a Comment

dilmilgayearblog.blogspot.com