Thursday, 14 December 2017

Part 15 : Remember this (Arsh ff)



Shilpa couldn't help but think about what rahul had said. It was her day off both from the hospital and the caf, she was holed up in her apartment. Her mind kept going over her conversation with rahul and the scene with armaan. There were no two ways about it she had been in the wrong she knew that but what hurt was that armaan had stopped talking to her.
She closed her eyes and remembered the last time armaan had been here, each word he had spoken was imprinted on her brain. In her minds eye she still recalled the scene when she had opened the door for muskaan and seen the apartment door shut behind armaan. He had left without saying anything. She opened her night stand and got the picture of armaan out and ran a loving finger over his image. He was smiling into the camera with his eyes sparkling with humor and intelligence and knew she didn't have a chance. She was just kidding herself if she thought that she could live without him, she looked out the window and realized that it was raining.

Her mind went over all her memories since she had woken up in the hospital and each memory had armaan in it. Wherever she looked something always reminded her of him. Shilpa had turned on the t.v. to drown out the voices in her head, she was changing channels that would keep thoughts of armaan in check. She stopped on a channel randomly and lay back on her bed, she sat up when she heard the song playing.

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide
Shilpa heard the lyrics of the song and felt as if the words were coming from her heart. She sat there in her room her eyes fixed on the t.v. set as Whitney Housten sang the song but in her minds eye she saw only armaan)

Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore (Shilpa kept seeing armaan and how she had clung to him when she was scared)
Stay in my arms if you dare (she remembered how everytime it had been his arms she had always run to)
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me (she closed her eyes against the memory of him walking out from her apartment)
I have nothing, nothing, nothing (she opened her eyes to look around her empty room and empty apartment)
If I don't have you, you, you, you, you
Shilpa immediately got up from the bed and grabbed a dress from her closet and changed. She thrust her feet into a pair of sandals and rushed out of her apartment, as she stepped out of her building she remembered it was raining. Heedless of the rain she forged ahead and quickly made her way to the bus stop. She stood there in rain drenching her clothes and hair, and could not stop her tears from overflowing. She quickly rubbed the tears away as the bus stopped at the stop, she quickly boarded the bus and took a seat.

You see through, right to the heart of me
You break down my walls with the strength of your love (her mind kept going through that last night when he had held her close to him and made the fear go away)
I never knew love like I've known it with you
Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to

I don't really need to look very much further
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow(the bus got stuck in a traffic jam making shilpa impatient)
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside
I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide
Your love I'll remember forever

Shilpa waited for some time hoping that the traffic would started moving, tired of waiting she got off the bus and started to make way on foot in rain
Oh, don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there
Don't walk away from me(Shilpa kept walking in the rain making her way to armaan's home she was oblivious of the water splashed on her legs by the passing cars and bikes)
I have nothing, nothing, nothing

Don't make me close one more door
I don't wanna hurt anymore(without her realizing it she had started to run in her heart and mind she just wanted to get to armaan and make things right between them)
Stay in my arms if you dare
Or must I imagine you there(she reached armaan's place and race to the door and banged on it, she waited impatiently tapping her toe but nothing, she banged again with no response. She walked around to the back of the house to peer inside the windows if possible to see if he was inside but with no success)
Don't walk away from me, no (She walked back to the front door and sat down on the front step with the rain continuing to fall)
Don't walk away from me

Don't you dare walk away from me(How long she sat there she didn't know, it was close to 6 maybe with the sun read to set when a car turned into the driveway and armaan got out of the car. She saw when he became aware of her sitting on his front door)
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you, you (He got out of the car with the rain getting him wet and their gazes met and held)
If I don't have you, oh you (shilpa could see only him as she stood up and waited for him to come to the door)
Shilpa stood on the step leading to the door as she waited for armaan to make his way to the door, she had seen the initial flash of worry that had come to his eyes when he had seen her sitting there but was quickly replaced by the shuttered look he wore for the last month.
Armaan swiped a hand through his hair plastering his wet hair back from his forehead as he quickly walked to his door. Shilpa stood there with her arms wrapped around her, she was wet as a drowned cat, her clothes sticking to her like a second skin. Every curve, every dip was clearly delineated with the wet clothes.
Shilpa lifted her hand in a small wave: hi!
Armaan made it to the door and turned back and looked at her: hi! What are you doing here?
Shilpa took a step forward: I wanted to tell you something!(armaan stood there and waited, shilpa took a breath) I learnt something about myself!(still no response) I learnt that I have a deep rooted aversion to being called stupid! When somebody calls me stupid I just go crazy!
Armaan looked at her with an incredulous expression on his face: so you came here to tell me that you are crazy! (armaan shook his head and was about to turn back)
Shilpa: no! I actually wanted to apologize (taking another two steps towards armaan but still standing outside in the rain) I know you are angry with me but I had no idea you were going to take things this way. I'm sorry armaan for all the rash things I said but I didn't mean them.
Armaan took a step towards her: then why did you? Shilpa! I'm not angry, I'm hurt! I'm hurt b'coz you didn't trust me enough to tell me what was happening!
Shilpa running a hand through her dripping hair: try and understand! I do trust you armaan! But I don't want to be someone you have to take care of all the time.
Armaan: what is that suppose to mean? What has that got to do with anything? we are suppose to be friends!(angrily) don't friends help each other.
Shilpa closed her eyes: yes! We are friends but even in friendship there has to be equal footing. Even in friendship one person is not always on the giving side whereas one person keeps taking. I wanted to prove that I can take care of myself, so yes I might've acted …
Armaan who had been listening to her explain: acted stupidly!
Shilpa glared at him: not very intelligently! But I never meant to hurt you! I can never hurt you armaan! But you hurt me also armaan, you stopped talking to me and that hurt.
Armaan took a step towards her closing the gap between them: I was just trying to stay away from you path, give both of us time to cool down but I was never far away.
Shilpa rolled her eyes: yes I know! Even though you don't believe me you send rahul and muskaan over to play guard.
Armaan seriously: you are important to me! no matter how hurt or angry I am,  nothing else matters but that you are safe. If something happened to you! I won't be able to live with myself.(then trying to lighten the mood he smiled) you I can always handle afterwards.
Shilpa stood there in the rain with armaan and couldn't make up her mind whether to laugh or cry at his words. She looked at his handsome face and thought was it any wonder that she was in love with him, he was everything a man should be, good looking, decent, wonderful doctor and a great body to top everything. She looked at him standing there in the rain smiling at her and thought she was actually stupid.
Armaan smiling: come on! Lets go in we are wet enough! (he turned to go unlock the door only to stop short as shilpa spoke up)
Shilpa: armaan wait!(armaan turned back to look at her) I want to tell you something!
Armaan looking at the falling rain: can't it wait till we change into something less wet. (Shilpa shook her head making armaan give in) ok! Tell me! what else have you discovered about yourself (smiling)
Shilpa looked into his eyes: I love you!
Armaan who was smiling turned serious: what did you say?
Shilpa moved closer to armaan so that there was no space between them: I'm madly in love with you. I think about you constantly, when you're with me I feel safe and content, when you're not in the same room as me I'm listening for your footsteps. Every waking moment, every dream I have is about you. So yes I'm deeply and madly in love with you.
Armaan looked as if in shock: you love me!
Shilpa pressed her body closer to his, twining her arms around his neck and pulling his face closer to her: I'm crazy about you armaan!(she saw the emotions flare in his eyes)come on! Doctor armaan! Kiss the crazy woman!(her hot breath touched his lips as they were an inch away from his)
Armaan pushed the hair that stuck to the side of her face away: I love you!
Shilpa crushed her mouth to his taking the initiative. She poured all the love and passion she felt for him in the kiss as she slanted her mouth across his taking the kiss deeper. Armaan's arms were wrapped around her as he crushed her willing body into his, he wanted to absorb her into his body. His hands tunneled into her hair as his tongue forayed into her mouth exploring every corner, he sucked at her lower lip making her whimper. He drew back slightly to draw in a necessary breath.
Armaan whispered against her lips: I love you! I love you more than life!
Shilpa: do you know ! you talk too much!(she pressed her lips to his effectively cutting his thoughts and words) 
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and feel me
Girl feel me
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and feel me
Girl feel me
Thinking about the love we making
And the life we sharing
Come and feel me
Girl feel
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and feel me
Com'mon heal me
Shilpa drew back and laughed as armaan picked her up in his arms and twirled around in the rain.
Oh aaja tu bhi mera mera
Tera Jo ikrarr hua
Toh kyun na mein bhi
Keh dun keh dun
Hua mujhe bhi pyaar hua
Tera hone laga hoon (armaan slowly brought shilpa down to the ground her body rubbed against the length of his)
Khone Laga hoon
Jab se mila hoon
Tera hone laga hoon(he wrapped his arms around shilpa and buried his face in the curve of her neck inhaling her sweet smell)
Khone Laga hoon
Jab se mila hoon
As they drew back shilpa whispered in his ear: gotta go!(and pushed him away)
Armaan tried to grab her but she evaded him: see you tomorrow! (she turned and ran but after going a few steps she turned back and ran straight back into armaan's arms. Armaan took her mouth in a passionate kiss, when they finally drew back shilpa whispered) I love you!(and ran away)
Armaan stood there in the rain: love you too!
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and feel me
O feel me
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and heal me
O heal me
The next day in the hospital shilpa walked down the corridor in hurried steps eagerly looking forward to meeting armaan when she got suddenly pulled in the fire escape. As she regained her balance she came face to face with armaan who had her trapped against the wall in the circle of his arms. Armaan had a devilish glint in his eyes and a smile on his beautiful mouth, he brought his face nearer still and at the last moment shilpa turned her head making armaan mouth come in contact with the soft fragrant skin below her ear.
Waise to maan mera
Phele bhi raaton mein
Aksar hi chahat ke haan
Sapne sanjota tha
Armaan kissed his way up to her forehead to her closed eyes, he kissed the other side of her face making shilpa turn her head towards him to give him better access to her neck. He stopped a scant away from her mouth waiting for her to open her eyes and look at him.
Phele bhi dhadkan yeh
Dhun koi gaati thi
Par ab jo hota hai woh
Phele na hota tha
Hua hai tujhe(shilpa opened her eyes and got lost in armaan's loving gaze. In his eyes she saw all the love she had been craving and a promise for tomorrow)
Jo bhi jo bhi
Mujhe bhi is paar hua
Toh kyun na main bhi
Keh doon keh doon
hua mujhe bhi pyaar hua
Armaan smiled as he pressed his mouth to hers, making the world disappear for both of them.
Tera hone laga hoon
Khone Laga hoon
Jab se mila hoon
Tera hone laga hoon
Khone Laga hoon
Jab se mila hoon
Both armaan and shilpa were living in a world of their own. Each minute spent away from each other was a drag, both were rushing through their duties and shifts to be with one another.
Ohhhaaa… mahiyeee….
Ooo leee ooo masaya ma hooonn…
Oohhh mahiyaaa…
Na na naa.a..
Armaan was waiting for shilpa finish up at the bookstore so that they could be together. He was waiting at a park nearby when it started to rain.
Aankhon se choo lun ke(Armaan stood in the rain arms spread out while people around him dashed to get under a shade)
Bahein tarasti hai
Dil ne pukara hai haan
Ab toh chale aao
Aaoge shabnam ki
Boonde barasthi hai
Mausam ishaara hai haan
Ab toh chale aao(shilpa ran through the rain and wrapped her arms around armaan from behind her cheek pressed to his back)
Bahon mein dale bahein bahein
Bahon ka jaise haar hua (shilpa spun around armaan and twined her arms around his neck while armaan lifted her up)
Haan maana main ne maana maana (Shilpa lowered her head to his so that their foreheads were touching, shilpa clasped his face in her hands and joined their lips)
Hua mujhe bhi pyaar hua
Tera hone laga hoon
Khone Laga hoon
Jab se mila hoon
Tera hone laga hoon
Khone Laga hoon
Jab se mila hoon
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and feel me
Girl feel me
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and heal me
Girl heal me
Thiking about the love we making
And the life we sharing
Come and feel me
Girl feel
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl upon the ocean
Come and feel me
Com'mon heal me

Amani

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