Wednesday, 24 January 2018

AR one shot : LULLABY


Armaan was sitting in the basketball court and reminiscing, just reminiscing...there was nothing left to other than remember his time with her...because now someone else had his time with her. With no intention of remembering the pain, he did remember it all - when she said he was not the reason for her signing the divorce papers and a tear escaped Armaan's bloodshot eyes - one of the many he had cried and was to cry...



She put him out

Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart

He spent his whole life trying to forget


 ------------------------------------------------------



He watched as she accepted him, as he accepted her...maybe not fully yet but he knew that such a time would come too and as much as he wanted her happiness, her laugh to again tinker in the hallway of Sanjeevani, he knew his heart would burst if he stayed any longer...he had fulfilled his promise to Dr. Shashank, he had made an effort to unite Siddhant and Riddhima but now he had to go or else he would fail...fail in this battle of the heart and the will of life...so he said goodbye, a silent one to anyone who would listen to his silence, but not many people were there - life which had seemed so full just some time ago now was cruel and lonely and so Armaan went, the guy who gave happiness to everyone had no one by his side when he needed to smile if he wanted to stay sane...yes, life is cruel...But he could not leave without leaving Riddhima with something, so he gave her back one half of the payal, her half, his whole.




We watched him drink his pain away

A little bit at a time

But he never could get drunk enough

To get her off his mind

Until the night

 -------------------------------------------------------------



Months had passed but nothing could shake her memory off him, he had not seen her physically for a long long time but he felt her always nonetheless and he tried to hide his pain, as always for other's sake...but he could not hide from himself and tonight he had to make a decision, he had to end the pain, the misery, the hurt, the anger, the love, the life...



He put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

He finally drank away her memory

Life is short

But this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

----------------------------------------------------------------------------



Riddhima was drying her hair when she got the news and the towel fell from her limp hands and she followed soon after...the phone dangling in mid air. Sid found her in that position when he came home in the evening - blood shot eyes but no tears, maybe none were left anyway, they had all dried up with him...



He asked her again and again what had happened but she had no answer, she was lost, she was lost in the tears she had made Armaan cry, the pain she had ignored but which had hit her the hardest today...the love which she had not allowed herself to succumb to but which dragged her down now...



We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that says I'll love her till I die

And when we buried him beneath the willow

The angels sang a whiskey lullaby



La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

 ------------------------------------------------------------



They had a prayer meeting for him where people from all corners came - he had touched many lives and they all wanted to say a final goodbye but it was not easy...the old gang of friends were there but in complete shock and completely heart broken...they saw his body, the eyes were closed but his pain was still visible in the way he lied...

Atul could not believe it that his 'bhai', his Armaan was the person on the floor and he caressed his face to soothe the pain but nothing happened - he just lay there, silent and forlorn.



Rahul comforted Muskaan and vaguely wondered how Armaan managed to help his friends even in his death as he saw Anjali and Atul consoling eachother and Abhimanyu hugging Nikita, hiding her from the pain and Rahul smiled a tearful smile and said a final goodbye to his best friend...



Shehnaaz bi sat at the foot of his body, Ananya weeping on her lap and Billy on her shoulder and she remembered her Ammy, her jaan...her son.



Minnie kept a flower by his side and kissed his cheek and thanked her angel for being there and cursed herself for not being there for her boyfriend...



Nana placed a apple at his feet and for the last time shared a laugh with his friend



Keerti and Shubhankar kept a dupatta by his side and Shubhankar whispered a last thank you and prayed that no one ever met the same fate...



The new interns observed from a distance and finally understood what Armaan meant for the world and sent a silent apology to him...



And Shashank stood stoic with an arm around Riddhima, processing nothing but finally realizing the pain his actions had caused everyone...



Siddhant was not there but that did not mean he was not mourning...he mourned a pure love and cursed himself for coming in between and wondered why Riddhima did what she did and thanked Armaan for being the man he was...



And Riddhima, she stood still, stood bent, stood, just stood...



The rumors flew

But nobody knew

How much she blamed herself

For years and years

She tried to hide the whisky on her breath

 ------------------------------------------------------------------



Week had gone by, like a snail they had dragged themselves, one at a time and now she stood in the balcony and thrashed herself with the questions her mind and her heart screeched! Why did she not tell him that she loved him?! He just needed to hear it once! Why did she not hug him once and make him forget all the pain?! He deserved that much! Why did she not choose him?! They deserved that much! And now he was gone, gone while loving her, gone after trying to make her happy, gone after forgetting himself for her happiness...and she was alone, there was no Armaan and the reason for that was her, just her...she couldnt blame anyone else any more...but she couldn't continue either...that was how it worked, she needed Armaan to live on, even if they were separated, the knowledge that he was ouyt there somewhere was her strength and now she was weak...weaker than ever before...



She finally drank her pain away

A little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough

To get him off her mind

Until the night



She put the bottle to her head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away his memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

 ------------------------------------------



And all said goodbye once again, finally realizing the love that the two inseparable souls had shared, something which not even death could snatch away from them...a single thought made them guilt free - that maybe in their final place, they were together.



We found her with her face down in the pillow

Clinging to his picture for dear life

We laid her next to him beneath the willow

While the angels sang a whisky lullaby



La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La





La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La

La La La La La La La


thanks,
Rae

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