Wednesday, 10 January 2018

Part 18 : Dard Na Jaane Koi (An AR FF )


Armaan and Riddhima looked at Ahaan who was laying on the bed, throwing his hands and legs in the air. Ahaan was looking towards them and a beautiful dimple smile was on his lips as his eyes watched his parents.
Ahaan: Ba...Ba...

Again, he repeated it making Armaan move away from Riddhima and rush to Ahaan side taking him in his arms. Armaan was having a smile on his face while Riddhima had a teary smile on her lips. 
A: Phir se kaho... 

Armaan asked Ahaan to repeat but he was too small to understand so as soon as Armaan took him in his arms, he started to hit Armaan's cheek with his small palms which made Armaan smile wide. Armaan kissed all over his face as he felt he got his happiness back in his life after years. 

While Armaan was trying to make Ahaan repeat the word one more time, Riddhima stood watching the duo. Riddhima was happy for Ahaan to get his father back but she felt little upset that Armaan forget her once again being with their son. Armaan was too lost to realize that Riddhima was also with them, not being able to handle the loneliness even though having two most important people in her life, Riddhima moved out from the room letting the tears fall on her cheeks.
A: Baba bolo phirse... Ba..Ba... 
Ahaan: Ba..baa...

Ahaan spoke not really understanding how much happiness he was giving to his father, who just few hours ago got to know that he has a son. Ahaan hold Armaan cheeks and put his mouth on Armaan nose, letting his saliva's all over on Armaan face. Armaan chuckled seeing his action and was admiring how cute his baby is, he forgot about Riddhima but when he realized it might be his first word, without thinking Armaan spoke.
A: Riddhima, Ahaan ne...

Armaan looked around but couldn't find Riddhima on the spot where he had left her, Armaan frowned not finding Riddhima, and thought where she might have left. As Ahaan started to suck all over Armaan face, he understood that he might be hungry. 

So taking Ahaan, Armaan moved out from the room in search of Riddhima. Armaan didn't find Riddhima in hall or any of the open guest room. So he moved to the kitchen to see, Riddhima working around. Armaan looked at her face which shows no happiness of hearing Ahaan call Armaan as his father.

Riddhima was lost as she prepared the dinner. Being unaware of Armaans present, Riddhima was trying to keep herself busy as she felt happy but till sad. Riddhima was hoping that Armaan would share his happiness with her but like always, he just left her alone. Riddhima was expecting Ahaans first word to be Baba but she never thought, Armaan would get to hear it. 

Tears continuously fell from her eyes as she remembered, how she had introduced Ahaan to his father. How much she wanted to hate Armaan, she never wanted Ahaan to be unaware of his own father. Riddhima never thought Ahaan would take a like seeing Armaan's photo but to her surprise, Ahaan just get too happy to see his fathers picture every time she showed him the photo Riddhima kept in her room back in Atul house.

FLASHBACK 

After putting Ahaan to sleep, Riddhima was sitting on the bed looking at Armaan photograph. It wasn't only his but their photograph which was send by Ananya of their marriage. Neither of them were smiling but they just was standing looking at the camera as it was capture in the memory of their wedding when they become husband and wife.

As Atul was unaware of Riddhima's ex husband, she never took it out unless she is alone at the late night. Neither she has shown to Ahaan because he was too small to understand anything. Riddhima always spend sometimes staring at the picture before going to bed, thinking what has gone wrong in their life. 

Riddhima trace was broken feeling someone moving in front of her and blocking the picture. She looked at her arms to see, Ahaan giving his dimple smile as he sat over the photo frame to get Riddhima's attention towards him. Riddhima couldn't help but smile seeing his dimple smile, which made her remind every minute about Armaan. 

Riddhima kept the frame on the side table and pulled Ahaan closer to her chest as she slowly rocked him hoping he would go back to sleep but seeing the frame on side table Ahaan attention was caught by the picture.
Ahaan: hmm umm

Ahaan forward his hand as he made sounds being just eight months old. Riddhima smiled and took the photo frame forwarding it to Ahaan. Ahaan touch his small palm on Riddhima and look at Riddhima, touching her cheek with his free hand indicating her that it was her. Riddhima smiled and nodded her head letting him know he has recognized her.
R: mama ki jaan, aapne toh mama koh pehchaan liya. mama's baby is so smart haina.

Riddhima said tickling his stomach making Ahaan laugh, Riddhimas smile also got wide seeing his beautiful and big smile. Ahaan look back at the photo and touch Armaan as he looked towards Riddhima with confusion in his orbs. 

Seeing Ahaan confused big round eyes, Riddhima understood what he must be thinking as till now he hasn't seen much people in his life other than, Riddhima, Atul and his caretaker. Also his doctors to whom every month Riddhima take him for regular check up and the maids in the house who equally love Atul and Riddhima, now they got another member added to the family as the little Ahaan.

Riddhima didn't feel to hide anything from him but still she knew that Ahaan wouldn't understand whatever she says. It was only him that Riddhima spoke out her heart whenever she felt sad, lonely and pain. Not because Ahaan would listen and understand, just to let the emotions out from her heart so she would feel less burden in her heart. 

When Ahaan kept caring Armaans photo, Riddhima gave a teary smile seeing how closely Ahaan was studying Armaan imagine. Riddhima had no hope that if she or Ahaan ever meet Armaan but she didn't feel to hide it from Ahaan who his father is. 
R: Yeh aapka baba hai beta. Jo aapse bohot pyar karte hai. Meri wajahse aaj aap apne baba se dur hai, please mujhse naraz mat hona kabhi. Mama ne jaan puch kar aapko aapke baba se alag nehi kiya. Aur mama chahte bhi nehi aap apne baba se nafrat kare, aap ab mere paas hai toh sirf aapke baba ke wajahse, woh aapke mama ke zindagi mein nehi aate toh kabhi mama koh aap nehi milte. 
Main chahti hoon, aab jab bhi apne baba se mile, unhe baba kehkar bhulaye. Kabhi nafrat na kare kyunki aapki Mama unse beinteha mohabbat karti hai. Kyunki woh khud nehi jaanta, aap mere paas hai phir bhi main chahti hoon aap apne baba koh pehchaane. 

Ahaan just keep staring at Armaan face as if he was understanding whatever Riddhima was telling him. it was the first time he saw this unfamiliar person but he just kept moving his palm on Armaan photo as if he was trying to capture the imagine in his heart. 

After that day, every night before going to sleep Riddhima made Ahaan see Armaan photo. Just like Riddhima was trying to make him speak names, Riddhima added that single word in his dictionary because he would need it in one turn of his life. 

FLASHBACK END

Riddhima's trace was broken hearing Ahaan cry, she looked around to see Armaan standing at the entrance of the kitchen holding Ahaan who has forwarding his hands towards Riddhima. When Riddhima didn't move towards them, to get her action Ahaan started to cry. 

Cleaning her hands, Riddhima moved to them and took Ahaan from Armaan who gave her Ahaan without denying. Armaan's eyes were still fixed on Riddhimas face, Riddhima was trying to avoid looking towards Armaan.
R: Main Ahaan koh feed karne ke baad dinner banati hun.
A: Khane ki fikar mat karo, me already oder kar chuka hu. Bas kuch waqt me khana aa jayega.

Riddhima didn't reply but left from there leaving Armaan behind, she moved back to Armaan's room and started to feed himm. Armaan waited for the food to arrive, then he went to his room with the food. There he saw Riddhima feeding Ahaan, who was throwing his legs in the air. 

Armaan smile seeing how Ahaan wouldn't be without moving for a second, he moved closer to Riddhima and Ahaan as he sat on the floor near the bed holding Ahaans leg. Ahaan looked out and smile before going back to take his milk. 

Riddhima was feeling uncomfortable with Armaan being so close to her but she didn't utter a single word. As she was in Armaan shirt, her legs were bare and Armaan's arms were brushing on her bare legs sending shiver run down in their spines. Both dared to look into each others eyes, which was a very big mistake.

Ignoring the feeling, both concentrate on their respective work. Armaan kept playing with Ahaan's legs and leaving kisses than and now while Riddhima was having a hard time to feed Ahaan with Armaan being so close and not leaving a chance to get Ahaans attention. Suddenly Riddhima shouted gaining both Armaan and Ahaan's attention.
R: Ahhh..
A: kya hua?

Riddhima looked with disbelieve at Ahaan, who was giving her his shameless smile. Riddhima then looked up at Armaan.
R: he just bit me.
A: ohh...
Both of them looked at Ahaan, who was trying to hid his face, then Riddhima chuckled.
R: bilkul apne Baba pe gaya...

Before Riddhima could complete, she realized what she was saying. She looked at Armaan who was already starring at her, with his eyes turning darker each passing second. Riddhima started to feed Ahaan again sitting on the bed with her Armaan just stood not understand how to react on that. Fake coughing, Armaan stood up and took the food. 

Then he sat down beside Riddhima, forwarded the box towards Riddhima. Riddhima looked down at Ahaan, then on the food and then to Armaan. Understanding Riddhima's dilemma, Armaan took the spoon and started to feed her with his own hands. Armaan feed Riddhima and himself, giving all the while smiled at Ahaan. Even he was not understanding, why he was suddenly behaving like this.

After completing the food, he brought the boxes back to the kitchen. His mind was loaded with intensity. Maybe it was a wrong decision to give Riddhima his shirt. He was found it very hard, to control his own arousing feelings towards her. 

As he saw her sitting on the bed, feeding their child, it was the most erotic scene he has ever seen. Moving again up, he saw that she was still feeding Ahaan, but he also noticed, that Ahaan was drifting off to sleep in her lap. He started to take tiny steps towards her, all the while looking at her face.

Riddhima looked up and saw Armaan coming closer to her. She noticed, that his eyes were turning darker, so she did the only thing, which came in her mind. She turned her back towards Armaan. But she did not realise, that it was a big turn on for Armaan. He went and sat behind her, puttind his feet's beside her, basically caging her between his legs. Riddhima's eyes got big, sensing Armaan behind her.
R: Armaan...

Armaan didn't say anything. He just put all her hairs at one side, so he had a free way to her neck. Armaan moved forward and put feather light kisses on her neck. Riddhima heartbeat started to raise. Without realizing she put her head back on his shoulder, giving him more access to her neck. Armaan started to suck on her neck, making Riddhima to melt more into him. As Riddhima was about to let out a moan, Armaan pressed her hand on her mouth.
A: shhh, Ahaan soo gaya hai.

Coming out from the trance, Riddhima looked down at her baby. She then covered her chest and put Ahaan on the bed, putting pillows on the other side, so that Ahaan would not fall off the bed. As she was about to get up, Armaan grabbed her and pulled her on himself. He fell back on the bed, with Riddhima on top of him. Riddhmas eyes widen in horror. Armaan put her hairs behind her ear and Riddhima closed her eyes. 

At the same time, his harsh words came to her mind. she felt used, she felt disgust by herself. She opened her eyes and saw that Armaan was already looking at her.
R: stop...

Armaan noticed tears in her eyes. He could see the pain in them, no he could actually feel the pain. He saw how the tears were about to fall out from her eyes. He was about to wipe them away, but again riddhima stopped him.
R: nahi. bas kardo Armaan, aur kitna girao ke tum mujhe meri khud ki nazro me. Kya kar kya rahe ho tum mere saath. Jab tumhara dil karta hai, tum mere pas aa jaate ho, aur jab tumhara dil karta hai, tum mujhe utha ke dur phek dete ho.

Armaan didn't know what to say, so he just turned them around, so that Riddhima was lying next to him. He could not see her in the eyes, else he would fall weak. He closed his eyes, put his hand on her waist and pulled her in his chest. She was literally pressed against him.
A: soo jao Riddhima.

She knew how stubborn Armaan could be, so she just closed her eyes and let the sleep take over. she turned around and put her hand on Ahaan. Armaan on the other hand, moved closer to her back, and put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to himself. 

Finally after 2 whole years he was able to sleep. He was able to sleep without drinking or taking any sleeping pills. He was able to sleep peacefully. He snuggled closer to Riddhima and even Riddhima felt peacefull after so many years.

Next day, Riddhima woke up and found herself in Armaan's arms. She tried to get out form his grip, but Armaan gripped her more tighter. With much difficulties Riddhima finally got out of his arms. She then pushed Ahaan on her spot and put Armaan's arm around Ahaan. Then Riddhima took a pant and a new shirt from Armaan's closed and moved out of the room.

As soon as she came out, tears run out of her eyes. She just could not believe, that she let Armaan get closer to her. Why the would she always fall weak in his arms. She wont let it happen again. she has to control her feeling, her feelings aren't allowed to come in between. Armaan had done so wrong towards her, he has accounted her of cheating. They why the hell is she giving him so easily access to her body.

Because you are his, and only his Riddhima...

her inner voice spoke. She shut down her inner voice, changed and then left for Atuls house. she had to pack some clothes for her and Ahaan. As soon as she entered Atul's house, she was greeted by Atul sitting on the sofa with his laptop.
R: Bhaijaan itni subha subha kaam.
At: Riddhima tum yaha? Ha, kuch bohot important kaam hai. Teen logo ki Zindagi judi hui hai.
R: jee wo me apne aur Ahaan ke kapre lene aayi hu. Aisa kaisa important kaam hai.
At: wo to tumhe ghar jaake hi pata chalega. Abhi abhi mene Armaan ko send kar di hia file.
R: Armaan ko?
At: Riddhima meri baat dhyaan se sun na. Tum dono ki zindagi aage jaake dramatically change hone wali hai. Me chahta hu, ke tum jo bhi faisla lo, wo apne dimag se nahi, balke apne dil se lo. tumhe bhi jeene ka haq hai, khushiya tumahre qadam chumengi. Armaan ne jo kuch bhi kiya, bohot galat kiya. Lekin galti us akele ki bhi nahi hai.
R: Bhaijaan...
At: Me tumhe kuch bhi karne ko majboor nahi karunga. Lekin me armaan ko bhi janta hu, wo itni asaani se tumhe jaane nahi dega. Aur ek baar ahaan ke bare me bhi sooch lene. Aur ek bohot important baat. Is ghar ke darwaze tumahre liye hamesha khule rahenge.

Riddhima had tears in her eyes, so she just moved forward and hugged Atul sidewise. Atul hugged her back and let her cry her heart out.
R: bohot takleef ho rahi hai Bhaijaan. Dil bohot dard kar raha hai, at the same time uske liye tarap bhi raha hai. Me kya karu? Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha.
At: Khuda pe sab kuch chor do, wo hai na tumhe rasta dikhane wala. Aa j tak usne tumhe akela nahi choda, to wo aage jake bhi tumhe akela nahi chodega.

After some time Riddhima left from there, having her and Ahaa'ns clothes in the back of Armaan's car. But as soon as she reached back home, her feet's rooted on the floor hearing Armaan's voice.

Armaan woke up, not feeling Riddhima beside him. He was sure, that riddhima was sleeping beside him in the night. so why isn't she here with him right now. Instead Riddhima, he saw Ahaan, still sleeping beside him. Armaan smiled and kissed his forehead. then he grabbed his mobile, to check new msgs. 

As he saw no one he stood up, and wanted to go out, to look for Riddhima. He needed her. he needed her very bad. But before Armaan could move out of the room, he heard a click on hi mobile, informing him that he got a msg. 

Armaan took his mobile and saw that it was a msg from Atul. It was marked as Important, so Armaan opened and read the msg, before seeing the Attachment.

MSG:
Mene kaha tha na Armaan, jab sachai samne aayegi, to tumhe bohot pashtana padega. Haqeeqat tumhare samne thi, lekin tum apne zid ki aur me aake, sachai ko dekh hi nahi paye. Aur na hi Riddima ki begunahi ko. Tumhe lagta hai ke Riddhima ne tumhe cheat kiya hai, to gaur se dekhna in pictures ko. Armaan yeh pictures photoshopped hai. Yeh saari pics fake hai. tum ek baar phirse inhe check karo, tumhe khud pata chal jayega. Jo original pictures thi, wo bhi mene tumhe attachment me bheji hai. Un tasveeron me Riddhima nahi, balki koi aur ladki hai, and if I am not wrong, this could be Shaina. 

I really hope ke bohot der na ho gayi ho, aur Riddhima tumhe maaf kar de. Bohot dard diye hai tumne usko. Hope, ke tumhe kuch to realise hua ho, tumhari Aankhe to khuli ho, Riddhima ko jane mat dena Armaan, wo tumhare bina nahi jee payegi. Kahi na Kahi, wo aaj bhi tumse bohot MOhabbat karti hai. Ab tumhe apni Mohabbat ka saboot dena hoga. Har ghari tumne uska imtehaan liya, uski mohabbat pe shak kiya, Ab tumhe sabit karna hoga, ke tumhari mohabbat me khot nahi hai.

As Armaan finished reading the mail, he already had tears in his eyes. his fingers were shivering. He was feeling out of breath, but still he opened the attachment and got a big shock. There were actually those pictures, he had all over the years, but instead of Ridhima, there was Shaina in the pictures. 

With shaky hands, Armaan scrolled down, and saw more pictures of Sid and Shaina, naked. Indeed the photos of Riddhima were fake. Now everything was making sense to him. His mobile phone fall of off his hands and landed with a loud thud on the floor, which caused Ahaan to wake up.

As soon as Armaan heard Ahaan's cry, he rushed over to his son and took him in his hands. Ahaan automatically stopped crying and looked at his father, who had tears in his eyes. Ahaan looked at him with big eyes.
A: aapke Baba se bohot badi galti hui hai, nahi galti nahi, gunaah hua hai. Bohot bada gunaah hua hai. 

Armaan could not hold this pain anymore in his heart, he sunk on the floor, and cried his heart out. he clutched Ahaan close to his body.
A: Riddhimaaa...

He let out a loud cry. He remembered what all he had done to her, from their wedding on till their meeting after two year. He remembered, how he made her sleep in the store room, forced her to eat spicy food, forced her to work with him, accused her of cheating with his own brother, throw her out of his house in the middle of night, not letting her speak for herself, not believing her words as she told him the whole truth after 2 years, believing that she also had an affair with Atul, he even told her, that this baby was not his. How could he do that, how could he not see the purity in her. How could he not read her eyes. 

As Ahaan saw his father crying, he also started to cry. Armaan looked at Ahaan and kissed his forehead. 

(Please, please, please listen to this song, ahhh I am soo much in love with this one. I think it suits here wvery well. Dil Ka Kya Rung Karun-OST)

Teri saanson se bandha 
Dil tha tujhse hi jura

Riddhima stood still as she heard her name, then out of nowhere, she heard Armaan's painful voice.

Teri saanson se bandha 
Dil tha tujhse hi jura
Aaj doori hai ye kyun
Kyun hai wehshat ye junoon

Armaan put Ahaan again on his chest and tapped his back.

Bin tere aik khala
Kis traha saans mein lon
Aa mujhe tu hi bata
Main jiyon ya na jiyon

He closed his eyes and thought of Riddhima, and how wrong he had done to her. 

Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun

He was still sitting on the floor, crying his heart out. It pained, it pained so much that it is impossible for him to describe. He found no words.

Zindagi aise lage jaise
Kali murjhaye

He thought about the 2 years, spent without her. How lonely he had felt, how alone he was. Every single thought was just around her.

Tu na aye tu bata kaise
Bahaar aa jaye

He thought about the time he had imagined Riddhima with himself, always in a drunk stage.

Tu bichar kar na mila
Ab tujhe kiya main kahun
Aa mujhe tu hi bata 
Main jiyon ya na jiyon

Armaan stood up and went to the window with Ahaan. Riddhima on the other hand could not hold back and moved towards his room. the door was open and she could see Armaan standing with Ahaan near the window.

Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun

As she did not want him to see her, so she hid behind the wall. Tears were falling out of her eyes. She clutched her heart, trying to stop her pain, but she could not. It was not possible. she knew Armaan was hurt, that's the reason, her heart was crying too.

Rang bharta nahi koi
Mere khaali pan mein

Armaan turned around as he felt Riddhima's presence. But as he looked at he door, he could not see anyone. His head sunk in shame.

Larkhrate hain qadam
Ujre huye aangan mein

He could not take a step and fall again on the floor, his knees landed on the floor. Riddhima saw him falling on the floor, she stretched out her hand...she couldn't hold it anymore, so she moved to the door.

Kon hamraahi mera
Kis ke main sath chalon
Aa mujhe tu ho bata
Main jiyon ya na jiyon

Armaan put Ahaan on his lap and kissed both his hands. As he looked up he saw Riddhima standing by the door frame. He gave Ahaan his mobile to play.

Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun

Armaan stood up and went towards Riddhima. As he was standing right in front of her, he could see the pain. He wiped away her tears and Riddhima closed her eyes.

Teri saanson se bandha 
Dil tha tujhse hi jura

Armaan then sunk on the floor, infront of her, landing on both of his knees. riddhima gasped out of shock.

Aaj doori hai ye kyun
Kyun hai wehshat ye junoon

Armaan grabbed both of her hands and kissed them and then put them on his forehead.

Bin tere aik khala
Kis traha saans mein lon

He looked up at her, and Riddhima could see how the tears started falling out of his eyes. She could not see him like that, she just cant.

Aa mujhe tu hi bata
Main jiyon ya na jiyon

Riddhima also got on her knees, seeing Armaan in this condition. She wiped his face with her own hands.

Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun
Dil ka kya rung krun

A: Riddhima...
R: nahi...nahi Armaan. Mujhse nahi ho payeega. Mujhme itni himmat nahi hai, ke me tumhe tuta hue dekh pau.
A: mujhe sab kuch pata chal gaya Riddhima, sab kuch pata chal gaya. Me galat tha, shuru se galat tha. Bohot na insafi ki hai mene tumhare saath, bohot takleef di hai mene tume, me to tumhari maafi ke layak bhi nahi hu...

Riddhima did not let him complete his sentence as she hugged him very tightly. Armaan hugged her instantly back, he felt sorry, he felt ashamed, he felt shattered, but above all he felt guilty. He caressed her hair and hugged her more tighter. finally Riddhima came out of the hug and wiped his eyes.
A: bohot bada gunaah kar diya hai mene riddhima, tumahre saath itna kuch kiya. Ho sake to mujhe maaaf kar...
R: nahi armaan, me nahi kar sakti. Mujhse nahi hoga, me tumhe aise bikharte hue nahi dekh sakti, aur na hi me tumhe maaf kar sakti hu. Mera zameer mujhe gawarah nahi karta. Meri selfrespect mujhe iski ijazat nahi deti. 
A: Riddhima...

Riddhima stood up and went to Ahaan. She took Ahaan in her hands.
R: Tumne mujhe bilkul tor diya hai Armaan, ek bar nahi, kai baar, bar bar. Ab tum dono ke beech sirf ek hi Rishta hai, aur wo hai Ahaan ke parents ka. Tum to already mujhe Talaq de chuke ho, to phir tum mujhse maafi kyu mang rahe ho Armaan.
A: Riddhima me...
R: Nahi Armaan, shayad ab saach me bohot der ho gayi hai...

With that Riddhiam took Ahaan and moved out of the room, as she was leaving, she heard Armaan whisper her name, making her go weak. Never in her life has she seen Armaan that broken.
A: Riddhima...

Love You All...

With Love,
Rihoo & Amna...

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