Monday, 1 January 2018

PART - 23 : I want you to hate me

The weather was too soothing to relax any restless heart but still it wasn't enough to comfort the fast beating maddeningly uncontrolled heart of riddhima.. she was standing in that balcony from almost 20minutes.. all alone.. deep lost in her thoughts.. completely unaware of her surroundings.. all her thoughts, all her care, all her tension was residing around only one thing or better to say only one person.. Armaan! He had successfully stirred her long burdened wounds making her shiver in pain nd fear.. the pain of losing the person she loved.. The fear of losing the person she loves! Yes.. she loves
someone.. that very someone who irrespective of all her drama, arrogance, attitude nd bitterness had d ability to remove the veil nd see the real riddhima whom she, herself, had caged long ago.. from then she nvr met anyone who had the potential to go deep inside her.. to see her goodness ignoring all happenings nd valid proofs.. he's unique.. he's precious.. nd he's hers...
"no no no.." she felt her heart cried in protest as soon as she realized how deeply she has fallen for him! "oh god.. he's too precious to lose.. I cnt afford hurting him.." her eyes started burning wth fear, pain, craving nd utmost longing.. she needed love.. oh how badly she needed it.. only she knows but.. but she cant push him to the door of doom.. he doesn't know anything.. he's juz too good to be part of her life.. her cruel, inhuman, greedy, lusty life.. how she hated her life!
The waves are coming, getting crashed on the sea shore, thn again going back for taking another attempt to kiss the shore.. she sighed.. she did everything today.. she ran.. she tried to get herself hurt.. she tried to almost turn her car over to end this fruitless life but alas! At d end of d story, she's all alive.. fit n fine without any physical wound.. damn! At least a deep wound may have diverted her mind from him! But no.. life has to play wth her emotion always.. she banged her fist hard on the boundary of d balcony.. it hurt.. but not enough to ignore the ignition she's been feeling inside her heart from d morning.. the craving for armaan's warmth nd love was too tempting to ignore but she has to.. nd she will..
Her mind was doing havoc inside her skull.. thumping so loud as if going to explode in any moment.. she needed a support.. she badly needed someone or something to divert her mind.. nd as if this time, her luck favored as she felt someone whispering her name concernedly putting his hand on her shoulder gently..
Nd at once she knew who the person was.. he's her best man.. her brother.. her guide.. her best frnd.. her every thing..
She engulfed him tight startling him quite off balance.. "oh abhi.."
Her voice was relieved yet helpless.. abhi at once understood dat something was bugging her nd he, too, quickly embraced her in a brotherly way.. "riddhi.. riddhi wat happened kiddo??" he panicked wen he felt her tears wetting his shirt.. he quickly detangled her nd cupping her face he asked again.. "bachcha kya hua??" riddhima, who was wth her eyes closed till now, opened them finally but shuddered nxt moment unable to control the tension.. "mujhey dar lag raha hain, abhi.. mujhey bahot dar lag raha hain.." abhi wiped her tears gently nd probed.. "kya hua hain riddhu?? Tell me.." she took a long deep breathe nd turned towards the sea facing her back towards abhi.. "I cnt tell u now, abhi.. i.. I'm not balanced at this moment.. give me some time plz.." abhi sighed disapproving her answer but didn't pressurize either as he knew she won't open up until she feels like doing nd if he probes her now, she'll be reckless again in frustration.. "fine!" abhi said trying to sound normal but his voice betrayed his attempt.. riddhima sighed nd turning she said, softly nd normally this tym, "I knw tujhey boora laga.. par.. par mujhey khud kuch samajh nhi aa raha ki main aisey behave kyun kar rahi hoon.. thoda sa tym de de plz.. I'll tell u as soon as I figure out everything.." she lied smoothly.. obviously she knows wat's bothering her making her shaken up to the core.. the morning encounter wth armaan, where she almost forgot about ridz nd was completely d old sweet caring riddhima talking normally wth him.. nd wth this her thoughts again landed on their morning encounter at the nurse station.. the way he talked, the way he assured her to trust him, the way he showed his eagerness to befriend wth her forced her to break the wall she'd created once.. nd the fact that she's almost gave in, making her insane now! he's merging wth her life nd soul dangerously unknown to the risks nd consequences nd the person who should push him away from her is she, herself but unfortunately she, herself is hopelessly, irrationally, crazily in love wth him.. she badly wants him to push away but was failing miserably again n again.. all her attitude, rudeness, bitterness seem effectless on him..  nd surprisingly, the more she behave indifferent or uninterested, the more he tries to come closer to her making her self control tremble like nvr before.. nd today it was d closest.. she almost accepted his frndshp.. oh armaan.. why cnt u just stay away from me? becoz if u keep on meeting the real riddhima like ds, u'll fall hard for her nd that is exactly wat i don't want for u.. u'll be safe till u're away from me.. i've to control my cool before i meet u again.. riddhima thought determined..
Abhi nodded in yes  understanding the depth of the seriousness of the situation.. "thik hain riddhi.. tke ur tym but u knw na u can tell me anything anytime.." his voice was soothingly concerned.. riddhima smiled nd answered genuinely.. "don't know wat good I did in my last birth dat I got u this tym.. u r truly a swthrt abhi... I luv u.." nd hugged abhi as if he's her big teddy bear.. abhi, too, smiled this time fully nd patting her head tenderly, he replied.. "u knw wat tu poori ki poori pagal hain.." riddhima lifted her head back but still her hands around his waist.. "terey sangat ka asar hain.. abhi complaint karne se kuch nhi hone wala.. u've to bear my pagalpanti for ur lifetym.." she poked her tongue nd hugged him back.. abhi, on d other hand, nodded his head side ways smiling at his crazy riddhi nd pinched her cheek lovingly nxt momnt.. "tu bahot cute hain riddhu.." riddhima again smiled, wider than before nd finally breaking the hug she replied.. "yeah yeah.. too cute to resist.. nahi??" nd at once both laughed their hearts out remembering their old days.. when almost all guys of school were bowled out by her cute nd sweet antics nd being fade up to kp them all away from his lill riddhi, abhi alwaz complained .. "riddhu tu itni cute kyun hain,yaar?? Main kis kis ko tujh pey line marne se rokhun?? huh! mujhey aur koi kaam nhi hain kya!!"
"toh tujhey rokhne ko kaha bhi kisney??" was lill riddhi's usual carefree reply..
"oyee.. tu bahot choti hain.. u dnt knw hw kameena these boys are.." he was alwaz a possessive brother..
"oh really.. u're a boy too, my dear big brother!" she nvr left any chnce to pull his leg..
"tch.. riddhu.. i'm different.. main bhai hoon na tera.." he used to protest pouting..
"yup.. yeh bhi sahi hain but one thing u cnt chnge too.." she used to say wth her i-know-every-thing attitude..
"kya??" poor abhi alwaz fell in her trap..
"dat i'm just too cute to resist.." she used to say in straight tone nd then giggled..
"galatfehmi ki bhi hadd hoti hain.." abhi tried to protest trying hard not to smile..
"haan haan tu toh kahega hi aisa.. jealous abhi.." she was alwaz his naughty lill sister..
"huh! main kyun tujhsey jealous hone laga bhala?" abhi used to whine..
"kyunki tu cute nhi hain.. is liye.." she used to say as a matter of fact tone..
"really? aur mujhey zaroorat bhi nhi.. boys cute nhi hotey.. boys handsome hotey hain nd dats wat i'm.." used to come his proud reply..
"tu aur handsome? hahahaha... best joke ever.." but she nvr agreed although she knew how true that was..
Both were laughing their hearts out.. finally the tension got evaporated nd she is back to normal now.. riddhima was d 1st one to control her non-stoppable laughter.. she looked at her altym savior nd thnked god again in heart for sending him this moment.. his presence always does magic.. smiling heartily she thought of pulling his leg then.. "oyee Bandar ki tarah hasna bandh kar.. ghar nhi chalna kya??" she asked cheekily smacking his cheek lightly.. oh.. how she loves to be crazy wth this person.. abhi chuckled nd retorted wth equal naughtiness.. "jealous hain tu.. warna itna sona Mundey ko koi pagal hi Bandar keh sakta hain.."
"haw.. tuney mujhey pagal kaha??" riddhima asked disbelieving her ears..
Abhi nodded nd said wth a str8 tone corrected.. "aur jealous bhi.."
"abhi tu.. tu.." she was mad at him now.. she was planning to pull his leg not to be teased by him.. but it seems abhi is in full mood to tease her now..
"yesh ridhhi.. main main.. i knw.. i knw.. main bahot great hoon.. yehi kehna chahti hain,na.. chill yaar.. i knw how good i'm.. tujhey takleef uthane ki zaroorat nhi.. tu rest de apni chotey se dimag ko.. dekh ek easy sentence bhi form nhi kar pa raha hain.." riddhima's jaw hung open hearing abhi's words.. nd nxt momnt she crunched her eyes threateningly indicating him to shut up or else she'll eat him alive.. abhi at once gulped in fear nd showed peace sign immediately.. "fine.. peace.. abhi chal.. we're getting late.. tym dekha hain.. it's almost 6pm now.."
Both turned towards the gate smilingly, feeling contented reliving their old time after so long but as soon as riddhima turned, her eyes fell on the person standing beside the balcony door nd immediately her eyes became wide in horror, pushing her heart to beat at its loudest.. "armaan" she couldn't hlp but gasped under her breathe..

___________to be continued___________

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