Thursday, 4 January 2018

PART - 25 : I want you to hate me



"what the hell is this dr. armaan??" she yelled in her most arrogantly bi***y tone as soon as she saw the face of the person who has pulled her unexpectedly to the fire escape.. 
"dat should be my question.. wat the hell is this riddhima.. why on the earth you are ignoring me??"
he asked her being completely frustrated.. enough is enough! He has been waiting for today from last night baited breathed, not even having a glimpse of sleep, all he wanted was her truest reply as soon as possible.. last night wen he poured his raw emotions completely in front of her, some how he knew she'll accept his friendship, at least! Her eyes were shrieking in extreme pain n vulnerability showing how desperately she wanted this friendship too.. how overpoweringly happy she was listening to his soulful confession.. how craved her each cell was only to be drenched in the rain of love.. in short how eagerly ready she was just to say yes.. nd if one assumes dat it was all his mere illusion as he, himself, wanted it badly, then wat will they say when she kissed him back with the same intensity or may be much more than his as for him it was the kiss of promise but for her it was the last support towards life.. does there any scope of illusion or mistake remain wen the person whom you're offering ur heart n soul reciprocated with same eagerness when she, herself, was in her rawest emotion.. no! nothing was his assumption.. he's sure that she has some feelings for him.. not love.. fine! But definitely strong enough to make them frnz at least.. but wen it was time for her verbal reply she simply kissed his forehead lovingly nd asked him to drive them back zipping his lips for any further question nd also stealing his every ounce of peace for the rest of the night.. and now, today, when he was actually expecting some sensible heart to heart conversation, she's just ignoring him from morning briefing session as if he never existed in her life.. forget her life.. she has been pretending as if he's just arrived in sanjeevani today nd a complete stranger to her! how the hell he can stand by this ignorance today when last night they were all busy savoring each other through their soulful overpowering emotional kiss of love.. no! he needs some answers.. now or never! but he can't let her go back behind her wall once again..
"I'm not ignoring u.. why do i? u r assuming too much, doc!" and here they go.. dr. riddhima gupta back to her super cool ridz mode once again!.. on the other hand, he felt his composure breaking.. in general he's of calm nd composed nature.. never in his life he lost his patience this soon but this gal has some real power over his heart nd mind making him alien to himself as well..
"god.. dammit riddhima.." he banged the wall beside her in utmost frustration, making him hurt just to avoid blurting out some extreme harsh words so that not even in his anger he becomes the reason of her pain.. he can afford everything but her pain! though somewhere he was daring this turn over only.. he knew how difficult it is to tame his love when she's in her arrogant mode.. nd she's right in her situation too.. he knew she won't accept their frndshp wen till now all she did was just to push him away so that he would not need to see the brutality of the life which she's living.. but wat can he do with that.. he's come far away now.. no matter wat she does, how rude she behaves, she can't break the link that is connecting them.. yes.. they are connected.. nd he'll make sure that they remain like ds no matter how wrongly life takes the turns..
Riddhima who was constantly battling with herself since last night, gathered all her courage before heading towards sanjeevani today.. no matter how actually she feels, she won't risk her love again.. it's better off to breathe in hell rather having some beautiful days at d cost of the life of the person whom she loves may be more than anything.. not may be, undoubtedly more than anything nd everyone.. whole night she just kpt on sitting on her balcony railing wide eyed staring blankly at the dark sky which was reflecting nothing but the darkness of her life only.. she lost aman once.. nd now accepting armaan will do nothing but the repetition of her painful history.. she's survived anyhow after aman's death but this time if lill bad happens to armaan, she'll die for sure.. that doesn't mean she fears death.. all she ever wanted from then is death only but she can't afford it as the after effect of armaan's destruction.. he didn't do anything wrong.. he just fell in luv.. but the person for whom he's fell, was undoubtedly wrong for him! she can nvr believe her luck that how someone like him can love her who's nothing but full of negativity.. how can light be ever fall for dark.. smiles for cries.. life for death.. yes.. he's everything one needs to lead a happy life nd she's everything one wants to get rid of to get a happy life.. the combination of them will do nothing but destruction.. a massive deadly destruction, tangling every lives related to them.. nd with this she knew wat she needed to do.. she needed to push him away.. he deserves the best nd she's surely not that.. but in the morning at nurse station wen his hopeful, happily twinkling eyes kept on focusing her every now n then, only she knew how difficult it is to push life away wen till date all she craved, was standing then, inches away, waiting wide-armed, just to wipe away every drop of pain from her heart n soul for ever.. but she needed to do dat.. she was never the selfish one to select her happiness over others nd dis time though the offer is too tempting, she forced her mind to overpower her heart, sealing every drop of feelings in the deepest chamber in there, accumulating all bitterness nd arrogance to make her tough .. too tough dat wen she'll break his heart right in front of her eyes, the pain, the hurt, the hopelessness in his eyes won't lead her to confess her actual feelings.. becoz all she now fears is his pain only.. she made herself ready.. head held high, muscles kpt tight, eyes scrunched showing meanness, smile was nothing but taunting, walk was just like a perfect bit***, in short her attitude was at its peak! She behaved as usual sl**ily with her fellow doctors, fueled muskaan successfully to her worst, angered anji nd nikki well, offended atul nd rahul, disappointed abhi nd above all ignored HIM!! All was just perfect.. just as per her calculations until she was forcefully pulled in the isolated dimmed lit fire escape by a pair of muscular hands.. though she didn't see the person on the very first moment but the intensity of the situation told her who the person can be nd next moment wen he locked the door nd stood inches away only she knew how she managed not to gasp feeling the proximity.. gathering all her left out courage finally she spat her 1st question as arrogantly as manageable before it becomes too late.. but next moment the situation completely slipped away from her control wen she found him punching the wall just next to her with all his force.. she has successfully destroyed his hope, frustrating him to no extent.. she closed her eyes at once trying hard to control her tears.. wasn't it wat she was trying to achieve.. his anger.. his arrogance.. his hatred.. nd wth the mention of the last one, her heart burnt.. too deeply to control her pain.. her last chance to live is slipping away.. but she can do nothing to stop.. the last ray to hope was fading, nd she can do nothing to hold it back.. she's destroying her life willingly, rationally yet the hurt is too much to bear.. she fisted her palms tight while her breathings reached it's peak along with her heart beat.. life was alwaz unfair to her.. wen she thought she is strong enough to challenge life saying now hurt me if u can, it has successfully destroyed her years of achievement ... suddenly, the ambiance seemed too suffocating to breathe anymore, head too inefficient to balance the weight of her entire body, heart too weak to pump blood to each cell over there nd as a result she collapsed in the strong arms who successfully embraced her within him protecting her from further pain.. "ar..maan.." she just whispered inaudibly before closing her eyes for deep sleep..
Armaan who just punched the wall with great force didn't even winch due to the immense physical pain he got in his fist.. all he wanted was to regain his composure soon.. noways, he'll allow her to back out.. fine.. she wants to hurt him, anger him, she can do dat all but not being away from him.. she needs to be out of her cocoon nd he'll bring her to light at any cost.. but his all anger n frustration got replaced by panic nd fear wen next moment he felt her struggling for breathe inches away.. turning at her direction wen he found her trembling in her position dizzily, he knew wat was coming to his way nd as expected she collapsed only after mumbling his name with so much vulnerability that wrenched his heart to its core.. "oh riddhima.." he securely embraced her senseless body nd gathering his balance took her completely in his arms only to go outside using the emergency gate.. without caring about his carrier, he just placed her cautiously in his car nd buckling the seat belt drove to his apartment only after texting abhi hurriedly to manage the absence of them, nd abhi as expected just agreed not even asking any further detail of their sudden exit..
She stirred giving life back to the person who was still sitting beside her on the bed baited breathed, holding her one hand by his one while his other hand was busy in changing the wet clothe dat he was keeping over her forehead every now n then due to the sudden temperature rise of her body.. "riddhima.." he whispered soulfully seeing his life coming back to her senses.. nd next momnt before she can even open her eyes properly to see the surrounding by her own, she found someone hugging her warmly while whispering her name every now n then with utmost love, care n affection.. "god riddhima.. I was so scared.. tum thik ho, na??" he is now lying beside her, hugging her helplessly, though lightly yet protectively as if loosing grip will again snatch his life away.. the scene was so alien yet so soothing for her that unknowingly a faint smile came across her lips while her one hand got dug into his hair, massaging his scalp ever so lightly nd at once he knew he got everything he wanted from life.. this gal is his ultimate destination.. his ultimate solace.. he nestled in her embrace more comfortably while she allowed him wth same eager.. both remained like dat, her eyes still closed living her deepest dream while he just kpt on living the feeling of their togetherness in his own way.. "I luv u.." unknowingly his lips confessed again feeling the depth of his love overpowering all his senses while her fingers just stilled, her breathing froze nd finally she opened her eyes wth a jerk only to realize the depth of the reality.. "get off me armaan.." she at once declared while leaving his hair in haste as if her fingers got burnt brutally by caressing them.. armaan, on the other hand, realized why his perfect moment got disturbed.. he cursed his luck for not getting this pleasure for some tym more but next moment settled his mind to face the situation wen he felt her struggling to get away from his hold weakly..


__________to be continued__________


sargam

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