Saturday, 24 February 2018

AR os : A silent Storm (part 1 )

I belong to a Muslim family.A girl who was always pampered by her family. I was more attached to  my siblings  than my parents.Being the last and apple of everyone's eye was my life.I loved my cousin we were childhood buddies since I remember we were like switched in early stages all praised our friendship but as we started growing up the bonding got distant but I knew we both had feelings for each other .As time grew the silence was our companion the slightest of touch by him knowing or unknowningly created a havoc in my body.I knew I was attracted to him and somewhere I was sure in my mind that we will be together in future as we were of same age and my Dad loved him and he was more loved in my family as well which made me jealous too at a time.

One fine day I got a letter which had those magical words written over it.Somewhere I knew it was him but still I looked up at him to make sure as we were in a gathering with all my cousins, he smiled at me that was a confirmation that he loves me too.Then onwards I tried to confront him many times to hear those words by him but silent that I only got by him.My patience was on test I waited and waited one fine day on my birthday eve I got a message by him on Facebook to wish me birthday I happily replied as the idea was printed in my mind.I started to talk with him daily and yes after my continuous tries I got to see that message by him "I love you" they were the the result of my so much tries.He was a silent person and I was a complete opposite I speak so much.I loved him  so we were in a secret relationship we fought a lot we patched up a lot but this was our life for 4 years almost.But suddenly I felt he is distancing himself from me.We all were family so I know how he is behaving in home what's happening all.But my trust for him did not let me think anything bad about him.I confronted him about behaviour but I knew he always responded to my texts immediately so I was not to have any second thoughts.

We started fighting for long our friendship was somewhere at stake too.Nobody knew about it nor we still want anybody to know.This was how we were, we blackmailed each other of suciding to get our work done.we teased each other we planned our kids he told me he only wanted girls as boys are ill we got into a terrible argument of son daughter and we both made peace with one daughter and two sons.a true imaginary world of love.We bickered about our bedroom settings to his least priorities.We were perfect just made like one.And somewhere all knew we will be together Whatever happens.We visited each other homes and very silently sneak each other glimpses.our love was a silent conversation he at times nagged me a lot.

And our wait didn't end and we ended up in a situation where our parents staked our love. I somewhere know he loves me still we were separated a storm came and we were alone.suddenly  He left to abroad. I was semi unknown he loved me or not that was another story.I left my studies my all interests faded I was 18 years and my love was not in my touch.I tried my best to locate him and I didn't had any contact with him 6years I sat in my home feeling myself a burden over my brothers and parents but my only prayer was his safety.My such state started worrying all. My aunt told that If her son was here she would have got me married to him but she is helpless.My whole family was unsure about me and my condition I turned out to be a complete lovesick.My only thoughts were about him.

My parents started finding a boy for me which was quite impossible as I didn't had a higher study many rejected me than I didn't had a very fair complexion that's why some rejected me and at last I was married to a man who was 7years older.That was ok relationship for my family as age differences never mattered to them but the new generation knew what are the consequences but at last I don't know where my life got me too.That man and I was far away from each other he used me daily to satisfy his physical needs while I laid there too much occupied with my own thoughts and prayers to save me.I was depressed person I did my all work rebotically answered them. my siblings and cousins was adamant to get me into a conversation with psychiatrist but my parents said I will be out once getting married as they felt m too upset for not being married not realising the love I had stored in my heart.Deep down I waited for my love to return and take away me. And  still those thoughts were genuinely making me happy.

I hope he returns soon.May be got married and have kids how cute they will be he was so cute I wonder. No his wife will I be able to see him with someone else??? No a big NO.


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