Saturday, 17 February 2018

part 2 : A reason to Live (ARSH)

"Hello? Anyone there? I'm just going to hang up if you don't talk." My eyes shot open, "NO! Don't hang up please…" I broke down on the phone. "Please! You're my only hope." "Uhh… ok, who is this anyway?" "Sh-Sh-Shilpa" I whispered through my sobs. "Shilpa? Oh wait Shilpa! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" I continued to sob. "Shilpa! What's wrong?!" Trying to pull myself together I responded "I need to t-t-talk to you… can you p-please m-meet me?" A reply came with the utmost concern "Of course I can! How about in an hour at the park down your street?" "Yea, that's fine. I'll see you then." "Shilpa" "Hmm?" "Please be strong. I don't know what happened but I promise that you will be fine."

 I didn't reply. I didn't know what to say. I didn't have any strength left in me. I've been trying to stay strong for so long. How would I say that I almost took my life?

 "I'll see you in a bit Shilpa" I ended the call and sat back down on the couch remembering how this one person had helped me when I lost both my parents. I needed that same support now.

 I left the house and made my way down the street to the park at the intersection. Thoughts of when I first met this person filled my mind. The support from the person a couple months ago continued to build some courage in me. It was at the caf when we first met. I don't know what made that person walk over to me but all I know is that that day, I felt somewhat renewed after the encounter. After my parents died, it was the first day I felt even the slightest bit of happiness. But after that day, I never met the person again. Until now. I as no glad that I didn't throw away that phone number. I stood at the intersection waiting for the cars to stop. I was tempted to walk straight into the street. Just end it right there. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath attempting to take those thoughts out of my head. I looked up at the park across the street and then noticed the cars had stopped.

 I crossed the street and entered the park looking around. I looked at every figure until my eyes found who I was looking for. Without a second thought I started running, tears flowing from my eyes. I ran right into his arms. I don't think he expected it but I don't care. I needed someone who as there for me. I had no one for so long and when I finally had someone I wasn't going to let go so easily. In a matter of a few seconds I felt his arms around me engulfing me into himself. I didn't say anything and neither did he. We didn't need to. He knew once I calmed down I would tell him everything, just like last time. But for now, I cried my heart out.

 Once he felt me relax in his hold he walked me over to a bench not letting go of me. I sat down and looked up at him sitting down right next to me. After sitting there for a few minutes I turned to him saw him looking at me with his steel-grey eyes filled with concern. "Armaan…" He didn't say anything back, just continued to look at me. "I've lost everyone and I'm going to lose everything soon too. I lost my job. I barely have any money left. I just… I just don't know what to do. So much has happened in such a small amount of time. And…" I stared at him as a new wave of tears began to spill. He brought his hand to my face and wiped my tears, "And what Shilpa?" He held my face still wiping the tears. "And… the other night I almost lost all hope. I couldn't take it anymore. With every passing day I kept losing hope and that night I almost took my life. But I didn't. When I closed my eyes I saw…you." I stared at him as more tears fell from my eyes. "I saw you Armaan. You were the reason I was able to deal with my parents' death and my brother's depression. You gave me hope even though everything in my life was going wrong. Can you give me that hope again Armaan? Can you?"

 He didn't reply. I began to think he was going to say no. I looked down as my eyes filled up once again. "I can, Shilpa. And I will." My head shot up at him and he reached for my hand. He gave it a squeeze. "I will Shilpa. I'll help you through this. But you have to promise me one thing." "What?" He put his other hand into mine and spoke, "You will never attempt to hurt yourself again. I care about you, Shilpa. I don't want to see you hurt. I know a lot has happened, but you will get through all of this and be strong again." He gazed at me waiting for my reply. I closed my eyes and put my free hand on top of his two hands that were cupping mine. "I promise."


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