Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Part 32: Remember this (Arsh ff)


Armaan pounded away at the punching bag that hung in the middle of the gym. He pounded away at the bag hoping to vent his frustration out at the bag. He felt cornered, he felt hunted, he had taken to coming to the gym near the hospital as he was avoiding spending time even with his parents. To make matters worse rahul-muskaan had not gone for their honeymoon as they couldn't take time off from work.

The worst part was how shilpa was not giving up no matter how much he tried to stay away from her, he tried to ignore but she was not giving up. It wasn't s if she was forcing herself or anything, he punched at the bag making it swing forcefully, she just never left him alone. He was trying so hard to put distance between them but she was not helping, she was spending time with his parents when he went back home. What was worse was that she genuinely loved his parents and wanted to spend time with them, when he thought of going and hanging out with rahul and muskaan she was there.
Both his parents and rahul-muskaan had sensed something was a problem with him and shilpa, his mom had bombarded him with questions wanting to know what was going on between shilpa and him he had responded by saying that they were thinking things through. His mother had delivered him a blistering lecture and demandd to know what the hell was he thinking to which he had refused to answer.
Rahul and muskaan were not backing down though, muskaan had in clear terms told him that he had actually gone mad. Rahul who had been his friend since childhood had withdrawn into stony silence making his displeasure very apparent.
Armaan drew his tired arms down as he leaned his head against the punching bag, he was tired of fighting his feelings but he knew that he was not going to be able to keep her so it was better that he let her go now. She was making it hard by always being there infront of him reminding him of all the reasons why he loved her but at the same time reminding him why he couldn't have her. Armaan picked up his gym bag and left to go back home thinking that he would have to do more to drive her away.
It was a Sunday afternoon as all of them had been gathered at rahul-muskaan place for lunch. As they finished lunch they were sitting outside in the garden when suddenly clouds formed and it started to rain. It was the start of the monsoon season, the rain was coming down hard drenching the ground and making everything look greener and clean.
Ananya and Billy ran inside the house to get away from the rain while rahul-muskaan were wrapped up in one another as they ran around. Shilpa who was twirling in the rain with her face lifted up with her eyes closed and arms out stretched. She had a smile on her face as she twirled around and she bumped into armaan who had been standing there looking at shilpa. Shilpa opened her eyes and looked up into armaan's face which had rain running down his hair and face. His hair was plastered to his head and his eyes looked unbearably blue against the darkness of his lashes. Shilpa looked up at him with eyes which were outlined with lashes spiked with raindrops, her eyes showed her longing and love for him.
As they stood there under the rain shilpa raised her hand and gently placed it on his cheek. As soon as she touched him, armaan flinched pulling away from her as he quickly walked away from her leaving behind a very hurt shilpa.
Saawan Beeto Jaye Pe Harwa
Saawan Beeto Jaye Pe Harwa
Mann Mera Ghabraye(shilpa stood there in the rain biting her lip to keep from crying out)
Mann Mera Ghabraye

Aeso Gaye Pardes Piya Tum
Aeso Gaye Pardes Piya Tum(As armaan strode away towards his car shilpa trailed after him seeing hm get in his car and drive away)
Cheyn Humein nahin Aye
Cheyn Humain nahin Aye

Mora Saiyaan moh sey bolay Na
Mora Saiyaan moh Sey bolay Na(shilpa drew in a shuddering breath trying to breathe past the pain in her chest)
Mein Laakh Jatan Kar Haari
Laakh Jatan Kar Haar Rahi(shilparapidly blinked her eyes trying to keep the tears at bay as her breath hitched)

Mora Saiyyan Moh Say Bolay Na
Mora Saiyyan Moh Say Bolay Na
Days were starting to fly pass but armaan stayed distant from shilpa leaving shilpa feeling miserable and alone

Tu Jo Nahin to Aisay Piya hum
Tu Jo Nahin To Aisay Piya hum(shilpa sat alone in the courtyard of the garewal mansion trying not to think of armaan)
Jaisay Soona Aanganaa(she sat there feeling alone wherever she looked she had a memory of their time together and she felt the loneliness like a body blow)
Jaisay Soona Aanganaa

Nain Tehaari Rah Neeharey
Nain Tehaari Rah Neeharey(she had started going to the hospital so that she could hear his voice catch his glimpse as he had stopped coming whenever he knew she was going to be there)
Nainnan Ko Tarsaona
Nainnan Ko Tarsaona
Every time she tried to talk to Armaan he walked away.

Mora Saiyaan moh Say bolay Na
Mora Saiyaan moh Say bolay Na
Mein Laakh Jatan Kar Haari (Shilpa couldn't for the life of her understand what to do she felt as if he had already written her off)
Laakh Jatan Kar Haar Rahi

Mora Saiyyan Moh Say Bolay Na
Mora Saiyyan Moh Say Bolay Na

Ananya invited rahul-muskaan over to armaan's place for dinner along with shilpa. Armaan when got his first glimpseof shilpa stopped in his track after staring at her for a second he turned around prepared to leave. Ananya had grabbed him by his arm and reprimanded him: whatever your issues with shilpa she's a guest at this house and you will show her the courtesy and respect she is entitled to and which I have taught you.
Armaan cringed inwardly at his mothers word and he turned wordlessly and walked back into the lounge where every one was sitting. He glanced over at shilpa who had her face turned towards Billy, she looked pale and her face looked drawn but she continued to hold her end of the conversation.
Armaan continued look at shilpa from the corner of his eyes, not once did shilpa look at him as the evening progressed she looked more drawn and pinched.Armaan felt his heart torn into two wanting to rush over to her and hold her in his arms.
Pyar Tumhain Kitna Kartay Hain
Pyar Tumhain Kitna Kartay Hain
Tum Yeh Samajh Nahin Pao gay
Tum Yeh Samajh Nahin Pao gay

Tired of keeping her distance from armaan not even looking at him, just as she was about to leave she turned and looked directly into armaan's blue gaze.

Jab Hum Na Hongay to Peharwa
Jab Hum Na Hongay to Peharwa
Bolo Kya Tab Aao gay(as they maintained eye contact tear bloomed in shilpa's eyes but she sharply turned walked out and sat in the car to leave)
Bolo Kya Tab Aao gay

Mora Saiyaan moh Sey Bolay Na
Mora Saiyaan moh Sey Bolay Na
Mein Laakh Jatan Kar Haari
Laakh Jatan Kar Haar Rahi
Shilpa stood in the hospital holding the slight weight of baby Ayesha in her arms rocking her to sleep hoping to find some solace and comfort from the pain that had taken a constant resident in her heart.

Mora Saiyaan moh Sey Bolay Na
Mora Saiyaan moh Sey Bolay Na
Mein Laakh Jatan Kar Haari
Laakh Jatan Kar Haar Rahi
Muskaan looked at shilpa in surprise: are you sure shilpa! it's a very big step!
Shilpa who held Ayesha in her arms, smiled down at the baby: I understand what you are asking muskaan!(looking up at her concerned face) but I'm not taking this decision lightly I had hoped that I'll be doing it with armaan(a flash of pain passed across her face) well! But I've decided to do it alone just b'coz he's not in the picture doesn't mean I'm going to change my plans.
Muskaan looking concerned: shilpa! I don't want you to raise your hoped but this is India here adoption by single woman is not that common.
Shilpa kissed Ayesha on her forehead as she was fast asleep and handed her back to the nurse: just b'coz its not a common practice doesn't mean it can't happen(shilpa turned and looked into the worried eyes of muskaan) I'm going to try muskaan, I have to try I can't just let her go, I need her as much as she needs me.
Muskaan looked gravely at shilpa: whats happening between you and armaan?
Shilpa winced then smiled crookedly: damn if I know! Everything was fine till your wedding, we were together and then out of no where he has started o behave like this.
Muskaan clutched shilpa's hand trying to offer comfort: but something must have happened, did you two argue about something.
Shilpa pinched the bridge of her nose: no fights! The only thing I can understand is he heard steve and me talking, (muskaan looked at her questioningly) he was trying to convince me to come back to States and I refused.
Muskaan stood there silently her mind trying to figure out armaan's behavior. Shilpa laughed mirthlessly: he's worried we are too different! Its as if he doesn't believe I love him. (before muskaan could respond) enough! I'm going to apply for adopting Ayesha and I'm going to give your and rahul's name for refrees.
Muskaan: we'll be happy to help!(after a moment pause) are you sure!
Shilpa: as sure as I am of my love for armaan.
Shilpa applied for adoption, the processing of the application was to take atleast a month. Shilpa had also used Ananya and Billy as second refrees on her application, who had not disclosed the fact to Armaan. Armaan in the meanwhile continued to fight with himself and with shilpa, he did his utmost to drive shilpa away but shilpa was steadfast in her resolve to not let go. Armaan grudgingly acknowledged the fact that if he had not been already in love with shilpa he would've fallen in love with her now but he also knew that it couldn't last.
Meanwhile muskaan was worried about the toll these circumstances were taking on shilpa both emotionally and physically. Even rahul had acknowledged that shilpa had lost weight and her face had a strained expression the only time she looked at peace was when she was with Ayesha. Ayesha was another complication which muskaan feared, the child was growing up and so was her attachment with shilpa and vice versa. Muskaan confided to rahul that she feared the consequences if the application was rejected by the authorities.
Muskaan: I'm scared rahul! On one side armaan is behaving like this, he is not even telling me whats he is thinking.
Rahul with a grim expression: I know! But shilpa is tough she'll be ok. She's confident that she'll be legally able to adopt Ayesha.
Muskaan: I hope I could be as confident!(as she faced him rahul saw the tears and worry in her eyes making rahul approach her) I can't believe armaan is doing all this after all he went through with ridhima that he is trying to throw all of this away.
Rahul enclosed muskaan in his arms: he's being an ass! I just hope he gets over it before its too late!
"oops! I think I should come later!" shilpa exclaimed with a twinkle in her eyes as she stood at the door of rahul's office.
Rahul smiled gingerely: nah! Come on in! everything ok!
Shilpa grew serious: I came over to meet Ayesha as I was coming I received this letter, its from the adoption agency.
Muskaan drew away from rahul: what did it say?
Shilpa gave a shaky laugh: I haven't opened it yet! I wanted you guys with me when I get the news.
Rahul looked steadily at her: open it shilpa!
Shilpa drew a letter from bag, he hands shook as she tore open the envelope and drew the letter out and unfolded it. There was complete silence in the room as shilpa read the letter, no emotion crossed her face. Both rahul and muskaan's gazes were fixed on shilpa's face hoping to get a clue as to what had happened. Shilpa drew the letter down and silently held the letter out to muskaan who snatched it from shilpa's hand and started to read. Rahul had not shifted his gaze from shilpa's face, as he continued to look he saw a shimmer of tears under her lashes as she quickly blinked them away.
Muskaan drew the letter down with tears in her eyes: I'm so sorry shilpa! I know you wanted it very much!(she went over to shilpa and wrapped her arms around her offering somfort and support)
Shilpa closed her eyes absorbing the love and support that was being given to her unconditionally. She opened her eyes and gently drew back from muskaan and looked into the concerned face of rahul.
Rahul wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as he kissed her on the forehead: what reason have they given for rejecting the application.
Shilpa: my marital status(she said flatly)
Rahul made a crude suggestion to which shilpa laughed harshly: my sentiments exactly!
Muskaan getting into the rhythm: right! I mean if Sushmita sen can adopt then why not you? I wish I could go over and knock some sense into them. No! actually I feel like going over to armaan and kicking his butt its all his fault.
Rahul: muskaan chill!
Shilpa who had been sitting silently for the first time since armaan had started behaving like an ass felt anger. Anger at him for not having the guts to come out and say what his real problem was, anger at him for complicating things when they were about to get better. But most of all anger him for not being there so that she could've adopted Ayesha.
Shilpa could actually feel her blood pressure rise: you know what muskaan! You are absolutely right ! Without any doubt it is actually all armaan's fault.
Both rahul and muskaan looked at shilpa with trepidation taking in her heightened color and eyes which sparkled with anger.
Shilpa: armaan thinks that he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants without any concern for anyone else's feelings well its time that he gets to know that its not his private birthday party that he can play whatever game he's at. THIS IS MY LIFE HE'S PLAYING WITH!(shilpa's voice rose to a shout making muskaan and rahul look at her in total bewilderment)
Before rahul-muskaan could respond the office door opened and in walked armaan who stopped suddenly as he saw shilpa standing there. Rahul-muskaan couldn't help but look from shilpa to armaan, as armaan face hardened and he turned to leave the room, shilpa in a blur of movement swiftly reached the door and shut it before he could leave.
Turning shilpa glared at armaan: you're not going any where!

Amani

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