Sunday, 20 May 2018

Part.30 : Arrange Marriage - Backseat to dreams or the Driving seat

Having finished their noodles ridhima stood up to keep the plates away in the kitchen with the thoughts to clean it next morning. Coming back she saw armaan again lying in the Couch holding on the cushion in his arms. “Armaan why are you lying here in the Couch” armaan looked at her before speaking in small voice “I don’t know where to sleep it’s your house. I… I mean it’s your room up there I…” he didn’t continues but left his words in middle. “Armaan when I came into your house getting married wasn’t it your room where I have been living since then.”

“But it’s your room too now. I vowed to share everything with you and its meant that way” armaan tried to explain it to ridhima. “It’s not only you armaan I have taken that same vow too. It was your room that became ours same way it was my room which is now yours as much as mine. I know few things needed to place in other way now but you have that right to place things as you like to. Just as I placed my things in your room back in Malik mansion.” Armaan looked at her for few second before nodding in yes. Ridhima extended her hand towards armaan to make him hold her hand so they can walk to room. Armaan gave his hand in Ridhima’s hand getting up. Holding on each other’s hand they walk upstairs towards the room.
Laying on the bed armaan was staring at the ceiling without blinking an eye while ridhima who lay beside him was watching him. Armaan was thinking over the past few hours, the confrontation he had with his family after months of coming back. He was living with that past over and over again every single day even after she was back in his country in his home with his family. Nothing was helping him to forget all about it no words no action from any of the family member was letting him give up on his horrible memories. But the movie few hours back did it what no one can. It broke his emotional built up seeing the same torture on screen bring his emotional built up towards destruction. His every single emotion came out of his mouth his hurt, his hope that were crashed, his helplessness took hold onto his brain making him bark out on his family. His heart was back seated towards his family as brain was driving his actions.
------------------------- Flashback -------------------------
“Armaan at least for once listen to Maa.” Ridhima tried to reason him but in return he look at her with hurt in his eyes that seems different from this pain for the past, it was hurt like being betrayed “Ridhima please you too don’t leave me betrayed… please I won’t be able to take it.” Armaan confessed his feelings that his face was reflecting.
“When my family didn’t needed me back then, than why should I stay here with them…? When my family doesn’t took a stand for me than how can I... ridhima how can I stand them now.” After a pause he again continued “They took no pain to look for me or even you. They didn’t cared to know if we are still alive or not. They just gave up the hope of me, on you… on us about our coming back. Is this what family does?” He asked looking towards ridhima accusing the other family members with his questioning.
Karan try to approach armaan but her spoke up moving a step back raising his hands not letting him touch himself "Don't... don’t touch me.... I wish I would have died back there only. As the whole year of the physical torture was nothing to the emotional torture I got from you people. I wish I was dead by now." with this sentence ends Armaan received a full forced slap on his cheek. Looking up on source he found nandani standing there but next second she fall holding her heart. Shubhankar and keerti immediately moved holding nandani trying support her but she was looking at armaan only with heart being hold onto under her palm.
Armaan looked away making nandani’s pain increase but he didn’t cared. Shubhankar made her sit on the couch beside her while keerti made her drink little water so as to calm her while Karan was rooted on his spot. Calming down nandani got up to put her hand on Armaan’s shoulder who’s back was towards her, but before she can hold onto him he moved away making his way out of the house without another word after being slapped.
------------------------- Flashback Ends -------------------------
He came back from his Flashback with Ridhima’s palm on his face. She made armaan look at her pulling his face towards her with her palm “Armaan, don’t think anything about that for now please. Take a good sound sleep for now than later we will talk about it. Hmm.” Armaan who was looking in her eyes spoke “I don’t want to talk about it ridhima. Not now, not tomorrow. I want to live peacefully for some time, I am tiered ridhima. Firstly living with it all days back there and reliving it again and again after coming back. I am tired of it ridhima. I want myself back, I don’t want this tortured armaan to reside in me for life. Please help me with it ridhima I want to rejuvenate myself. Will you help me?” armaan asked her with hope in his eyes to get the much needed support from her as he was getting from few days even if he is wrong in accusing his family, all he want is support from her.
“Yes armaan. I will. I am here for you always I know. I know we both have suffered a lot but letting it go is the only solution that will let us live peacefully. Holding onto those days will not lead us anywhere but back to the pain and helplessness we felt. So just try to let it go armaan see we are back to our country our home more ever we are back to each other. So please just give it a try to let it go. You just need to take a step ahead and you will find me beside you holding you supporting you at very next step.”
“I am trying ridhima. I am trying to forget everything from past year but I am not able to do that. Every time I try to run away from it, it came back haunting me with more intensity. I can’t help it ridhima. I want to forget but I can’t”
“If you really want to forget it then running away from it won’t help armaan. You have to bring it out of your system. It’s just that you are keeping it all uptight within you. You are not letting it free from your mind. You are running away from it, while the haunted past is like dog. The more you run the more it will follow you with same speed as yours. You need to just fell it and deal with it thinking it as your past that is over don’t run but stay and hug it with open heart then see you will be able to deal with it.” Ridhima paused in between “For now have a sleep armaan. U really had a day today letting out your breakdown. I guess I would help u in some way down the lane. But for now sleep” armaan nodded at her closing his eyes once Ridhima’s hand was in his hands. Ridhima cares his hair making him fall asleep sooner with ease, trying to make his worries face the obstacle from entering his brain with her hand kept over protectively.
As soon as armaan fall asleep with calm steady breathing indicating ridhima about his sleepy state. She got up not disturbing his sleep, taking her phone she moved towards small balcony attached. Dialing a number she hold her phone near her ears. “Hello Papa”. Yes ridhima have called Karan “Papa how is Maa. Is she okay” ridhima enquire about nandani’s health.
“She is okay beta. Doctor came to look after her it was mild heart pain. But they asked her to rest properly without taking any tension. Anyway where you are beta are you and armaan okay.” Karan told the situation before getting to questioning to her.
“We are fine papa. We are here in dad’s house….” There was a pause in between “papa I am thinking that we both, armaan and I should stay here for some days. It will help him to get back to himself and deal with the past. But nandani Maa…” Ridhima tried to make her point but she was worried about nandani too. So Karan solved her worry “its okay beta. You both stay there as long as you both want to. I will ask keerti to pack and send the needed stuff there for you both. And you don’t worry about nandani she have all of us here. You take care of yourself and armaan. It’s more important for now that armaan get back to his life rather than keep living in that hell of days. If you would need anything just call me or Shubhankar we will be there for you both”
“Thank you papa.” With the final greetings they hang up the call. After which ridhima moved back in room closing the balcony door shut pulling the curtains on before laying back beside armaan holding his hands once again before slipping into sleepy world.

Next Day Armaan woke up with few drops of water falling on his face making his sleep got disturbed. He frown with the disturbance thinking to go back to his sleep he turn on one of his side but he did a mistake. He did a big mistake opening his eyes for a second before turning to the side and that’s it. It was all needed to make his sleep run away from his eyes. Eyes that felt heavy a few second back to him was now open with total calmness. He was looking at something or rather someone who happen to be his wife ‘Ridhima’.
She was fresh out of the shower trying to dry her hair with the towel rubbing them. It’s nearly the end of one year of their wed lock but within this time armaan have never seen ridhima like this. Drying her hair while few drops fall from her side face getting lost back in the hairs resting on her shoulder. He was looking at her with so much attentions as if the first rain drop fall itself into the seep near the ocean to make a precious pearl everyone wants to acquire. He have never saw someone look so beautiful. It might not be the proper word that could define his emotion but it’s only him who know what he felt at the moment looking at her.
She was unaware of the fact that armaan was awake and was staring at her all this while. As soon as she turn around she saw armaan still have his eyes closed, still sleepy he is as she thought. So thinking to let him catch on his sleep little more she decided to go downstairs for arranging breakfast. She have already asked the guard to bring her some quickly cooked food packets. When she came down she got all the needed stuff laying in the kitchen counter. Getting on to her work she started preparing something to eat.
Armaan who was staring at ridhima back when she was drying her hair saw her turning around to face him. Evaluating that in his mind he quickly closed his eyes fearing she might get uncomfortable with it or maybe she will be offended with his action of staring her. His mind is at mess making him think about things that would never turn that way but the mess make people think differently even when they know it won’t ever happen but alas. The Messed-up Brain is messing it more. Soon he saw her taking an exit from the room so he decided to get up to freshen up.
When ridhima came back in the room after settling breakfast in the tray she saw armaan was not there on the bed, he might be in washroom so ridhima just took out fresh pair of cloths out for him keeping it on the bed she knock on the door calling out armaan. “Armaan”
To which he responded immediately closing the shower to hear her voice clearly. “Haan Ridhima”.
“Armaan I have kept your fresh pair of cloths on the bed wear them and come down for breakfast I am waiting downstairs for you” ridhima told armaan and waited for him to give her some kind of response to show his acknowledgment to her words. “Okay” it was all he said before turning the shower on again. Ridhima went down to settle breakfast on table that was resting in kitchen on tray. Meanwhile armaan was freshen up and was getting dressed in the cloths ridhima settled for him.
Later he moved down calling ridhima to see where she is but she never replied to him. Armaan moved towards kitchen calling her out once again but again silence welcomed him but after few second he heard ridhima’s voice as if she was talking to someone.
He entered in the kitchen and was about to call her to gain her attention but stopped as he heard her saying “But you shouldn’t have hidden these things from armaan Papa”
Armaan heard and was blank for a moment hearing word “shouldn’t have hidden” now what is that they all are hiding it from him. Wasn’t it all that they have done to him in the past that even know they are keeping him away from their talks. Arman was able to hear just one side talks from the conversation.
“Papa I think you should have told armaan everything. It’s his right to know it papa”
……….
“I know papa but papa when he will get to know it latter he will not be able to take it papa”
………..
“But papa please understand Na this I spy game won’t benefit any of us. For now it might be looking good to keep it secret but papa after few days when he will get to know that he will be broken once again”
……….
“Okay papa if you don’t want him to know this then I will keep it that way. But I still ask you to please let him know it’s anyway, how is mom hope she is okay.”
……….
“Ji papa I will try. Bye”
Armaan called her when he saw her taking phone off her ears “Ridhima”. Ridhima turn around instantly to see armaan standing on the door with the blank look on his face. “Armaan when did you came here” she asked all worked up hoping armaan didn’t heard her talking on the phone. “What are you doing here ridhima Breakfast is kept outside already” he spoke up wanting to see ridhima’s expression if he pretends he never heard anything. Hearing him talking normally she took a breath of relaxation giving a fake smile ridhima moved towards armaan. Then stopping near him for a second “Come I will set you plate” she walk past him and armaan just turn around to see her stepping away from him not looking back even once.
After setting the plate ridhima called armaan who was lost in his thought of the conversation he heard. Moving out of his wondering zone he walked ahead settling on the chair he started with his breakfast having a look at ridhima’s body language in between secretively.

Aayushi

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