Thursday, 27 September 2018

part 2 : Never let go!(ss)

"Damn that woman!!!" I screamed in frustration, running one of my hands in my already ruffled hair and throwing my tie away with the other one. Trying to calm myself, I slumped my body on the couch and closed my eyes. Her teary eyes flashed infront of my eyes and I snapped them open.

As I shifted my position on the couch, something pricked my hip and I cursed under my breath again. I groped in my pant pocket and pulled out a delicate velvet box out. The lid fell open and a platinum wedding band mocked at me. Suddenly overcome by remorse and utterly exhausted, I threw the box aside and leaned back on the couch. I heard my mobile ringing ceaselessly, but ignored it fully aware who might be trying to reach me. After all, I just broke my engagement off!

"f**k you, Riddhima!" I uttered under my breath and closed my eyes yet again.

I remembered that one moment which snatched peace away from my life. One afternoon, one woman and one kiss! One damned kiss! As much as I tried to avoid thinking of that one moment, I couldn't help but sigh at the memory. Everything had been going perfectly: I gifted her with the diary, we chatted about our time together and then I bid her good-bye. Everything until that moment. I tried to squeeze my eyes to push that memory away, but in vain.

"Armaan?" I heard her frantic shout for me and turned back to her, quite surprised at her voice.

She came running towards me and stood a feet or two away from me. While I waited for her to say something, I noticed her fidgeting with her fingers and swallowing repeatedly. I raised my brow at her when she looked up at me.

"I-" She gulped and tried again, "I-I have something to say to you."

"Yeah?" I smiled at her, relaxing.

She seemed to be struggling with something, contemplating whether to open her mouth or not and my smile increased. That was so Riddhima! For some reason, she was always extremely conscious of my presence. Initially, I thought she might be uncomfortable moving closely with males but then realized that it was in my presence that she was fidgety. I tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible, but her brain seemed to be always on different things.

She gazed at me as if searching for something in my eyes. Her eyes held a peculiar combination of grey and green, that was so unique that I couldn't help but admire. I had never seen them from such short distance, hence was surprised for a moment. As I took in the impressive colour of her eyes, she took one more step towards me and I raised my brow at her, for there was hardly any space left between us. I felt something strange in the way she looked at me and before I could think of retreating back, she locked her hands around my neck

"I love you." She whispered and touched my lips with hers.

I was paralyzed with shock for a couple of moments and then snapped back to the present when I felt her lips moving gracefully against mine. My heart raced at its full pace and my mind refused to cooperate with my senses. And then I felt her fisting my hair and press her body into mine. For a moment, all I could register was the softness of her body against mine. Many a time, I wondered how soft and fragile her body would be when I glanced at her but that was before I got into relationship with Sanjana. The same instant, however, my dazed brain related Sanjana as my girlfriend and that I was being kissed by some woman, or Riddhima to be precise, the one whom I considered to be my good friend. A sound of alarm rang in my brain and I was about to draw apart when I felt her sucking my lower lip eagerly and frantically. And I was lost, trying to understand what was happening.

When I was still trying to make sense of what was happening, I felt her release my face and drew back. She slowly raised her eyes to mine and I instantly noticed the tears in her eyes. As what just transpired between us penetrated the fog in my brain, I felt my body going rigid, my jaw clenched. But before I could shout or scream, I watched as she grabbed her purse from the table and ran away. My eyes automatically landed on the diary I had just gifted her and I ran my hand in my hair frustrated.

"I love you." She had whispered that day, I snorted. And she said that just few hours before she flew out of the country. I was suddenly filled with anger at her actions. All three years, we were together in the same project, sitting right beside to each other in office and she found the exact moment before leaving India to tell me that she loved me. She was the one who helped me select gift for Sanjana on Valentine 's Day. She was the first one to whom I told that we were in a relationship. She was the one who helped me get ready to meet Sanjana's parents. And yet she was mum at all those times and chose to tell me that she loved me right before she was leaving me. And for that I hated her. I hate her!

And here I was sitting, on the night of my engagement with Sanjana, in my living room which was dark and gloomy and scary just like my life. Eight months ago, I was a happy guy with a beautiful girlfriend and another beautiful and sweet friend. One impulsive action from that damned sweet friend of mine turned my life upside down.

One week after Riddhima had left for London, I was horrified when I remembered the way Riddhima had kissed me when I kissed Sanjana. One month later, I was left speechless when I found myself comparing the dark blue eyes of Sanjana to the grey-green ones of Riddhima. Three months later I despised myself when I imagined how Riddhima would look in a gown I had purchased for Sanjana. Just one hour before, I lost my mind when I wondered how the platinum band I had bought for Sanjana would look on Riddhima's finger. And just like that I broke my engagement off.

"I am sorry, Sanjana." I had told her before I turned my back on her, her parents, my parents, our friends and drove like a maniac to my flat.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I jumped when I heard Rahul yell at me, barging through the door. "What was all that about?" He demanded.

"Riddhima" I said simply, rubbing my eyes.

"Who? Our Riddhima?" He asked surprised. "Where did Riddhima fit into all this mess?" He shouted when I nodded. "Screw you man! Do you have any idea of Sanjana's condition after you left, or even your parents' or hers?"

"I have no idea Rahul!!" I screamed at the top of my voice, throwing my coat on the floor. "I have no freaking idea what the hell is happening to me!!"

"Woah!!" He exclaimed, raising his hands in truce. "What's wrong?" He asked.

And two hours later, he just stared at me, his brows drawn together and a frown on his face, as if he was solving extremely difficult math question on CAT.

"So you couldn't get Riddhima out of your system just because she told you she loved you." He said, as a matter of fact.

"And because she kissed me." I added, after taking a long sip of my beer.

"And because she kissed you." He corrected, with a lopsided smile on his face.

"What?" I barked at him, wiping the grin off his face.

"Nothing." He replied sipping his beer. "So what do you plan on doing with this image of Riddhima in your head?"

"I am going to focus my mind on the PRD project that I am proposed for in London and forget about that bitch!" I said, bitterly.

"Oh! But I thought you said no for it." He reminded me.

"I didn't reject it. I just put it on hold. And now I am going to take it." I said firmly. "And then I am going to make it up for Sanjana." I added.

"I see." He said but I knew that he didn't see anything in my decision.

I sighed and stood. It was more than enough for a day or even a life time. "Rahul, please talk to Sanjana, her parents, mom and dad, will you?" I asked, tired. I took a step towards my bedroom when I heard his voice.

"Shall I tell them about Riddhima?" He asked.

I gave him a hard glare and shook my head negatively.

"Okay." He said quite cheerfully. "Why do I have a feeling that there is something more to your taking up London project? Riddhima went to London University right?" He asked, with a smirk on his face that I wanted to punch so badly.

"Go f**k yourself!" I rather snapped and slammed the door shut on his face.



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