Sunday, 16 September 2018

part 28 : To Err is Human

Kismat rooth gayi ...dil ke taar toot gaye,
Woh bhi rooth gaye...sapne bhi toot gaye,
khazaane mein the sirf do aansoo....
jab yaad aapki aayi, Toh woh bhi lut gaye...


RECAP: As she slowly walked towards her dorm, she saw a man standing at the gate.


Her expression hardened the moment she saw the man.


"Tum yahan kya kar rahe ho?" She asked angrily.


"Please Kripa…..ek baar meri baat sun lo…"




"Prithvi! Kaash maine tumhari baat kabhie suni hi nahin hoti…..please leave…NOW!" She was trembling in rage at the sight of the man who had turned her life upside down with his treacherous behavior.




"Kripa…please…..ek baar meri baat sun lo," he pleaded, "main jaanta hoon maine tum se jhooth bola tha…..lekin mera yakeen maano….maine tumhein hamesha apni sab se achchi dost samjha hai"


"Tum jaante ho dosti ka sabse badha usool hai dost ko samajhna! Lekin tumney kabhie yeh samajhne ki koshish nahin ki ki mujhey jhooth se aur jhooth bolne waalon se kitni nafrat hai Prithvi…..so I am sorry you have betrayed our friendship and our trust with your lies!"


"Kripa…please understand me…..I know I made a mistake….but I couldn't help it Kripa…..main bhatak gaya tha."




"Prithvi….yeh bhatakna nahin…..balki ek saazish thi tumhari….kyun kiya tumney yeh sab? Angad se tumhari kya dushmani thi?"


"Kripa," Prithvi lowered his eyes, "because I..I love you Kripa….aur yeh jhooth nahin…bilkul sachch hai."




Kripa gave him a disgusted look, "aur tumne socha….Angad par ilzaam lagaaoge tho main tumhari baahon mein daudi chali aaoongi? Maine kaha tha na ki tum mujhey samajhte hi nahin ho Prithvi…..maine sirf Angad se pyaar kiya hai….aur hamesha karti rahoongi….aur jahan tak tumhara sawaal hai….tumse pyar aur dosti kya…..ab nafrat bhi nahin karoongi…..kyunki nafrat bhi unse ki jaati hai jo aapki zindagi mein kuch maayne rakhte hain…..you don't mean anything to me Prithvi….so please leave me and my life forever!"




"Kripa…please don't be so heartless…..aaj tak zindagi mein tumhare siwa kisi ne mujhey dost nahin samjha tha….please forgive me….mujhey maaf kar do."



"Prithvi…..shayad main khud ko hi maaf nahin kar sakti…..tho tumhein kya karoongi…..goodbye Prithvi….I hope I never see you again! And please make sure you cure yourself of this bad habit of drugs and lying!"



A dejected Prithvi turned to leave, but paused to hand her a piece of paper, "Kripa…..jaanta hoon tum mujhse milna nahin chaahti…..par yeh mera naya address hai…..Dr Gupta has been kind enough to let me complete my internship in Nainital…..they do have a big drug rehab center there too….main vaada karta hoon ki aaj ke baad na kabhie drugs ko haath lagaaoonga….aur na hi jhooth bolunga…..and…and I will always love you Kripa….and always be your friend….hope you will forgive me one day."




After he left, Kripa let the piece of paper fly from her hand; she had no desire to stay in touch with Prithvi, even if he were able to rectify all his mistakes. She could never forgive him….nor could she ever forgive herself for not trusting Angad.



As Prithvi walked away from the women's dorm, Armaan's car pulled in at the gate.



"Prithvi? How come he is still here?" Armaan remarked.


Angad clenched his jaws at the sight of Kripa's receding steps and Prithvi walking away from the hostel, "apni sabse pyaari dost se milne aaya hoga…..dono shok manaa rahe honge ki Angad Khanna bach kaise gaya?"




"Angad!" Riddhima rebuked him, "don't be heartless…..tum jaante nahin ho Kripa ne tumhare liye kya kya nahin kiya hai….she is really remorseful about the whole incident…..please forgive her now."


"Yup…you are right Riddhima," Angad snapped back, "she has done a LOT for me….main uske ehsaano ka bahut aabhaari hoon…..thanks to her I can stay focused on my goals and dreams in life….she has opened my eyes forever!" His sardonic grin scared Riddhima a little; now she knew why Kripa had left the outhouse so early- Angad was not ready to forgive her yet.



"Come on man…chill!" Armaan patted Angad's thigh, "Riddhima is right….aakhir Kripa ki kya galti hai?"



"Oh…looks like I am surrounded by Kripa's well wishers here….why don't I just walk back to the men's hostel….this car is a little hostile for me," Angad opened the door and was about to step out when Armaan pulled him back, "chup chap baith ja….wapas chalte hain….kal subah thande dimaag se sochna….bye Riddhima….see you later." The men sped off in the car, leaving Riddhima at the gate of the hostel.


………………………………………………………………..


KRIPA's ROOM:



"Kripa….why did you leave so early?"


"Riddhima…main thak gayi thi….ab aaraam karne do mujhey….tum bhi jao." Kripa was in no mood for a conversation.

"Nahin…main nahin jaaoongi…..you have not even eaten all day!"


"Riddhima please! Leave me alone! Main bachchi nahin hoon…apna bura bhala samajhti hoon….abhi mujhey akela chhod do." Kripa frowned and sounded frustrated at her friend's efforts to cheer her up.



"Kripa….give him some time….Angad tumhein bahut chaahta hai….abhi bas thoda naaraaz hai….he will be fine in a few days."



"Have I complained about anything?" Kripa's nostrils flared angrily, "if I don't care about him….why are you concerned?'



"Yeah right Kripa! Tum chaahe kuch bhi keh lo….lekin ab main tumhein itna tho jaan gayi hoon ki tum apni feelings chupaane mein bahut maahir ho…..I know you are hurting as much as Angad is…..par iska matlab yeh nahin hai ki tum khaana peena sab chhod do."


"Riddhima…..aaj mera fast hai…samjhi? Main Angad ki wajah se bhookhi nahin hoon….apne bhagwan ki wajah se bhookhi hoon."



"One and the same thing Kripa…Hindustani ladkiyan apne pyaar ko hi bhagwan samajhti hain," Riddhima chuckled, "chalo…let's get some food from the cafeteria."



"Sorry Riddhima!" Kripa opened her door, "JUST LEAVE! Mujhey kisi ki sympathy nahin chaahiye…..let me handle my problems myself."



Riddhima was hurt by Kripa's unwillingness to confide her feelings. She paused at the door and then smiled, "dekho Armaan ne mujhey aaj kya diya….ek kadhaa….aur jaanti ho usney aaj propose bhi kiya mujhey."




Kripa's face lit up at the word, 'propose'



"Sach?" Kripa exclaimed and then held Riddhima's hand, 'kitna pyaara kadha hai….he really loves you…doesn't he?" Kripa could no longer hold her tears and broke down in Riddhima's arms.



Riddhima soothed Kripa in her arms and stroked her back gently, "Armaan mujhey utna hi pyaar karta hai jitna Angad tumhein karta hai….please give him some time…..don't be harsh on yourself."




"Koshish karoongi Riddhima….par uski berookhi mujh se sahi nahin jaati….he really dislikes me now," Kripa sobbed and wiped her tears, "chalo….cafeteria chalte hain," she forced a smile and walked out with her friend.


"Give him time Kripa," Riddhima's voice floated in the corridors as they walked hand in hand.



…………………………………………………………………………………….



ANGAD's ROOM:

"Ok man…now that you are settled back into your room….I will make a move," Armaan helped Angad unpack his bags.


"Thanks buddy….you were a big help," Angad patted Armaan's shoulder.


"Ab yeh thanks wanks ka chakkar chhod…..aur yeh sambhal apna toota hua guitar!" Armaan handed him the instrument with a broken string.


"Arre iska tho taar toot gaya hai,"Angad scrutinized it closely.



"Ab ek kaam karna yaar…is taar ke saath saath…apna dil bhi jodh lena…..jaise toote taar se besuri awaaz aati hai…waise hi aaj kal tere toote dil se besuri awaaz hi aa rahi hai," Armaan chuckled.



"What do you mean?" Angad frowned.



Armaan shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his pocket as he left the room, "you know what I mean man….forgive her…I know you love her a lot…..maaf kar de usey."



"Hargiz nahin! Angad Khanna does not believe in forgetting or forgiving! Jaanta hoon tuney usey apni behen banaa rakha hai….lekin agar tu mera dost hai tho aaj ke baad kabhie mere saamne uski taraf daari nahin karega….samjhe? Now let me have a shower and go to sleep for a change."


"Goodnight!"


"Goodnight!"


Angad sighed and shut his door behind Armaan.


He picked the guitar and strummed on the broken string, "Armaan….you are wrong….once a string is broken….it is NOT REPAIRED….IT IS JUST REPLACED!"


………………………………………………………………………………………………



SURGICAL WARD NEXT MORNING:


"Dr Kripa Sharma…..can you take care of the wound care for room # 300 today?" the surgical senior resident gave orders on rounds next morning.



"Yes sir," she nodded as she stood across from Angad in the hallway. Like the day before, he refused to acknowledge her presence in the ward. He went back and forth between staring through her, gazing at a random person, or just talking to the senior residents and nurses on rounds, completely ignoring Kripa's existence in the group.


Kripa tried her best to keep her attention on the work and orders given by the senior resident. As she scribbled notes on her notepad, intermittently looking up to exchange glances with Angad, but to her dismay he just ignored her.



"Actually Dr Angad Khanna….patient in #300 has an extensive wound…..why don't both you and Dr Kripa work on the case this morning and then join me in the OR later." The senior resident suggested.




Kripa was pleased with the suggestion and silently thanked the senior resident for giving her an opportunity to be with Angad alone at last, but Angad was really upset, "sir….that's a waste of time….especially now that we only have 2 interns in our group….Dr Sharma is capable of handling wounds on her own….after all she is an expert at them," he smiled cynically at her and then turned towards the senior resident, "I will take care of some other patients."



"Good point Angad….jao tum rooms 305 to 310 ke orders likh do…and then join me..OK?"




"Thanks sir," Angad glared at Kripa, who had turned red by his remark on her 'expert at wounds' comment.


Kripa's face fell as she had lost the opportunity to work with Angad one on one.


To her surprise, Angad made a snide comment as they followed the senior resident, "patient # 300 kitna khush naseeb hai….kum se kum uske ghaav dikhte tho hain….aur dheere dheere bhar bhi jaayenge….lekin kuch ghaav," he smirked, "kabhie nahin bharte."




Kripa shut her eyes to hide her emotions. Angad's hurtful remarks bruised her soul more than his sweet words had ever enthralled her. Without responding, she followed the senior resident.




After the rounds dispersed, Kripa followed Angad, "Angad…..please can I talk to you?"



"Talk to me or lecture me……Miss Mother Teresa?" he grinned sarcastically avoiding eye contact with her.



"Angad," she swallowed a lump in her throat, "jaanti hoon tum mujh se naaraaz ho…..but can we work as professionals on the ward at least…..baat baat par taane kyun de rahe ho?"



"Naaraaz?" he snubbed, "naaraaz tho apno se hote hain Dr Kripa….tum mere liye koi maayne nahin rakhti…..as far as you are concerned….I am emotionless…..it's neither love…nor hatred." His words sliced open the wounds she had been nursing over the last few days. His face became hazier as tears filled her eyes. She bit her lower lip and turned away from him, "I am sorry Angad…..I hope you can forgive me," she mumbled behind her sobs and walked towards the ward.



Angad was aware of the effect his words had had on her. For a split second, his anger towards her melted- her hesitant steps towards the ward told him how much his words had hurt her. He really wanted to run after her, forgive her and console her bruised emotions, but he remembered his humiliation and the pain she had inflicted on him by doubting him and trusting Prithvi. He composed himself and headed towards the patient's rooms.


…………………………………………………………………….


LATER IN THE OR:



Although Angad had scrubbed in with Dr Gupta and the senior resident for surgery, his mind wandered elsewhere as he stood obediently with the retractor in his hand.



"Cautery!" Dr Gupta ordered from under the mask.



There was no response as the bleeder kept oozing.



"CAUTERY!" Dr Gupta glared at Angad.


"Oh…sorry sir," Angad shook his head and apologized. Despite his apparent indifference towards Kripa, she was very much a part of him just like she had always been since the day he had set his eyes on her. Even last night, he had stayed up thinking about her- the vivid image of her arriving at the outhouse with a big smile wearing his favorite color had been marred by the image of Prithvi outside the gates of the women's hostel. With heavy eyelids and a heavy heart, he had even repaired the guitar strings last night. He knew she still loved him; he had always been good at reading her mind. He was aware of how his harsh words had shattered her, but she deserved it, he reasoned.




Dr Gupta handed the scalpel to Angad and said, "I think you are a bit distracted today….why don't you resect the gall bladder out…..it might help you stay focused."



Angad was embarrassed at being caught by the chief, this time for a genuine mistake.


"Thanks sir…I will try my best."



After the surgery, the senior resident patted Angad's back, "wow Angad….aaj chief ne apna scalpel tumhein pakda diya…you must be in seventh heaven….lucky man!"




Angad nodded gently; the senior resident was right-Angad should be in seventh heaven….but he was not. A moment of honor like this was rare in the third month of internship; it was way better than the intern of the month award, it was a way Dr Gupta had redeemed himself for accusing Angad of a wrong crime, but Angad still felt hollow and incomplete. He would have loved to celebrate this achievement with someone; he knew she would have been happy for him. So far, she had sacrificed going to the OR on many an occasion, just so he could get more hands on practice, but his pride would not allow him to approach her with the big news. Instead, he decided to go back to the ward and complete his work.

…………………………………………………………………….


BACK IN THE SURGICAL WARD:



"Dr SHARMA! HOW COULD YOU BE SO RECKLESS?" The senior resident was yelling at the top of his lungs.



Angad walked in but froze at the sight of a very tearful and shaky Kripa standing at the nurse's station with a file in her hand, "sorry sir….I had no idea this patient's kidney functions were abnormal."



"What kind of an intern are you? Are you not supposed to check the patient's history and lab work before writing orders?" the senior resident howled. The nurses and ward boys stood behind murmuring in each other's ears, 'aaj tho is intern ki chutti! Hamare senior resident sahib ka gussa bahut tez hai."



Angad overheard the nurses. He took a few soft steps towards the nurses, "kya hua sister? Dr Kripa se kya galti ho gayi?"




"Wo Dr Angad…..312 mein jo patient hai na….unke liye pre op orders lene the….Dr Kripa ne Gentamicin ka order tho de diya….par shayad patient ki lab report nahin dekhi unhone…..312 ki kidney fail ho rahi hai….tho dose zyaada likh di Dr Kripa ne…shayad mistake hoga bechari ka….warna wo hamesha theek kaam karti hain," a matronly nurse felt sorry for the young petite intern bearing the wrath of the burly senior resident.



Angad smirked silently and thought, "sister……she is always correcting other's mistakes…..aaj khud galti ho gayi us se….she deserves this." He shook his head and walked away towards his patient's room. The nurse was surprised at Angad's response. Just a few days ago, she had spotted them whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears. She rolled her eyes and thought, "yeh aaj kal ke jawaan log kisi ke sagey nahin hote…..bechari ko daant padh rahi hai aur yeh Dr Angad khushi manaa rahe hain….hai hai kaisa zamaana aa gaya hai?"




Angad walked into a patient's room, "Good afternoon Mr Bajaj…..kya haal hain aapke?"



"Mere tho theek hain…lekin yeh bahar kya shor mach raha hai? Aisa lag raha hai kisi ko daant padh rahi hai….kaun hai?" Mr bajaj tried to get up from his bed.



Angad grinned, "Mr Bajaj….yeh tho hospitals mein hota hi rehta hai….aap fikr mat kariye." Even though, he thought Miss-always-right Kripa deserved the wrath, he did not feel it was appropriate for her to be reprimanded in front of everyone in the ward. As he wrote down orders, his ears stayed glued to the conversation at the nurse's station.



"I am really sorry sir….I..I don't know why I did not check the lab report….meri galti hai," Kripa was almost sobbing.



"Tum ladkiyon ki yahi problem hai….ab rona dhona chhodo….yeh tho achcha hua maine time se orders check kar liye….warna is patient ko severe kidney damage ho jaata….aur blame hum surgeons par aata ki surgery theek se nahin ki hai…..na jaane kahan kahan se interns pakad kar le aate hain aaj kal," the senior resident raised his voice as the staff and nurses cringed. The senior resident was obviously behaving in the most unprofessional manner- he should have taken the discussion to the doctor's lounge or a private place instead of making a public display of his powers over the interns.




Kripa's eyes were burning with tears and shame; she excused herself, "sir….please excuse me."




"Yes please…abhi aisi haalat mein tum aur kar bhi kya paaogi…..please call it a day and go back to your room to rest…..I need a stable intern tomorrow morning…not a hysterical one like you," the senior resident took the file from her and crossed out all her orders.




Angad heard her footsteps in the hallway. He peered outside the door and saw her running towards the hallway. His heart sank at the sight of her running away in tears. Suddenly, that feeling of hatred and indifference towards had vanished in thin air. It was so unlike her to have committed a mistake in patient care. In his heart, he knew why she would have made the error. Just like he had been distractible and unhappy all day; she was probably experiencing the same emotions too. Her mind was probably wandering with the events of the last few days and his sour remarks were like salt to her guilt ridden wounds.




"Kripa…..shayad jab dil mil jaate hain……wo hanste bhi saath hain aur rote bhi saath saath hain…..main jaanta hoon tum se yeh galti kyun huyi hai aaj…..I am sorry Kripa…..I was too harsh on you," he took a deep breath and followed her towards the elevator.


……to be contd…….

bheegi

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