Monday, 19 November 2018

Chapter 4 : Where Did I go Wrong

 The time seemed to be moving slow, rather not moving at all, It was just few hours back he had seen her, seen Riddhima, was is possible, was he hallucinating, did it really happen? He had not expected to find her so soon. He held the diary preciously in his hand, a small smile crept his face, yes, he had seen her, he was not hallucinating, He had found his goal sooner than ever and now he was going to achieve it, he wanted to share his happiness with someone, anyone, but he had no one to do so, He sat down and opened the diary randomly.

December 28th 2007

He did not have to read this; it was a night he had never forgotten, It was their 1st anniversary, he shut his eyes and tried to bring back that day, live.


"Your mommy was grumbling like forever" Riddhima laughed.

"What did she say?" Armaan asked amused and concentrating where he was driving, though he very well could imagine.

Riddhima cleared her throat loudly and began screechy in a very good imitation of Armaan's mother, "Whats the big thing if it's the 1st anniversary'., they can celebrate at home here, I'd decorate the room myself'. Hotel jaane ki kya zaroorat hai'. Pata nahi yeh lakdi mere beta ka kya haal bana rakha hai''." By this time Armaan burst out laughing, "What decorate the room herself? Right, I wonder how she would decorate it.

"Probably some fungus" Riddhima stated nonchalantly.

Ah, here we are, Armaan said parking the car.

She looked up to see where they were, a loud gasp, "Armaan this is The Daisies, It's so expensive, we shouldn't be her, saasu maa will wring my neck"

"Riddhima relax" He opened the door and waited for her to step out, she looked and him "are you sure we can be here?"

"I'm definite" he smiled and held out his hand which she took gratefully and stepped out.

She looked dreamily at the beautiful hotel and sighed, that Armaan didn't miss out on, "You like it?" he asked holding her hand more intimately, "totally" she replied, responding to his touch.

He took the key from the reception and made their way to the lift, "You remind of your old self today" he said, smiling to himself.

"The old me'.? What do you mean? I've not changed?"

"I aint talking about the inner you" he dragged and winked.

"Ohhh, this?" She said pointing out her dress. "Its good to be back to my old self, the sari and salwar at home all day suffocate me"

"What a horrible life I got you to be into" he sighed as they stepped out of the lift.

"Hey, no, don't say that, nothing comes without sacrifice"


"Why didn't you come home and freshen up? You look so tired."

"I'll do it now" he said, opening the door and getting in.

"You'd better, I won't even lay my finger on you otherwise, there's no question of making love either"

"Really?" he whispered coming threateningly close.

"You have some doubts" arching an eyebrow. She looked adamant.

"Ok, ok, I have no intentions of spoiling our 1st anniversary"

"Good, now go freshen up" a winners grin etched on her face.

While he went to freshen up she admired the exquisite room and breathed in the freshness of the room, she always wanted to be here, and then some pictures caught her eye, The best picture was of 2 babies, a random smile cropped her face, she went closer to the picture, and her smile grew bigger, one little baby was pulling the other ones nose.

The sudden urge to get a baby of their own crept her mind. Would things change if they had a baby? Would Armaan's mother change the nasty attitude towards her? She wanted to talk to Armaan, immediately after his shower, she had to, she grabbed a pillow, stood in front of the mirror and placed the pillow in front on her stomach, "eeks, I look so huge" and before she could probe into any more analysis, "what are you doing Riddhima?" came a voice from behind her, it made her jump with a sudden jerk and she dropped the pillow.

"Nothing" she stammered, "Nothing" she repeated, flushing she looked away.

He took her hand and turned her around, "Happy 1st wedding Anniversary" as the clock struck 12:00 and before she could reply he captured her lips that lifted her off her feet, she was momentarily lost, little did she remember to tell him what she wanted to, a few seconds later after he had laid her back on her feet, Riddhima noticed a sudden stunned look on his face, "what happened? Something wrong?" she slowly directed his face towards her making him look at her.

"I forgot"

"What did you forget?"

"Protection'? Did you get pills?"

This was it, an opportunity that came walking willingly to her. She wasn't going to lose it; she had to tell him what she thought moments ago, tell him right now she thought.


"Armaan, no I didn't get pills, woh, umm, I've been meaning to talk to you about this?" He kept silent waiting for her to continue. "What if we don't use protection?"

"That's such a silly query, you'll get pregnant!!?"

"I know that, and what if I'm ready to get pregnant?" this time she looked straight into his eyes and saw his eyes widen. "Are you serious Riddhima?" his sentence breaking as the fact digested slowly. "I am, but only if you wan'?"

"Of course I want to have kids, let's have it now" a mad look on his face.

"But we can't have babies now? An utterly confused look on her face, "it may take another year'"

"Riddhima, I know, lets prepare for it now'. by the way, when you say babies? How many are you talking about?"

"Armaan'? That's too far fetched, let's have one and then think about the others" She said half laughing and half embarrassed.



"Arey, tumhi ne toh kahan, I'm ready to get babies, agar puri raat aise baatein karte rahenge toh kuch nahi hoga"

A shout of mad laughter rang for her mouth as he grabbed her around the waist from behind and dropped her on bed, the rest of the night and half morning went by very merrily.

Present day

His eyes opened and he landed back to reality, that night seemed far away and like a dream, a tear dropped on the open diary, he wiped it cautiously, careful not to erase the ink with what she had written. He looked at the word his tear had dropped on. The word was "baby". He sat up straight.

"We didn't have protection that night, and many nights to follow, did she get pregnant?"

He momentarily went blank, was it the reason for her abandoning him? It can't be. I'd never show disapproval if she was pregnant.

He had to find out, the question was How?


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