Tuesday, 20 November 2018

Chapter 5 : Where Did I go Wrong

A week had gone by, everyday was enduring her patience, she was finding it difficult to either hold back her tears, and there was no question of listening to the lecture. Armaan had not yet mustered the courage to talk to her.

This constant looking at Riddhima when lecturing the deliberate avoiding job that Riddhima was doing had not gone unnoticed to Rahul and Muskaan.

The 1 hour torturous lecture finally came to an end, it was lunch break now, and Riddhima just rushed to an empty class room where she shut the door and slide down behind it. Did she have any choice to get out of this? Did he have to come back haunting her?

She remembered that treacherous day. The day that ruined everything, had she ruined it? Was she wrong? These were some questions whose answers she knew she might never discover.

May 5th 2008

"Armaan' ?" she ran through the front stairs guiding her way to their room, she just went to open the door when "He's not home yet" came a voice from the living room that unmistakably was her mother in law's.

Riddhima was so exited that she had not noticed anyone in the living room. "Evening mum, Armaan should be home by now" she said, looking at the time, 7:45 pm.

"He called to say he's busy might be a bit late" not looking up from the magazine she was reading, Riddhima's face dropped, "what are you so exited about anyway?" she fired another question to Riddhima.

Riddhima smiled to herself, "nothing, I have to tell Armaan first" and she started to proceed to her room.

"Are you pregnant?"

It was a direct question, a direct question in a very abrupt expressionless way.

"How do you know?" Riddhima replied startled.

No reply, she remained engrossed in the book. Riddhima walked 2 steps closer and said politely, "I would appreciate if you allow me to tell Armaan this news first"

There was no reply, not in words not even in action, Riddhima silently walked to her room.

"Armaan doesn't want children"

Riddhima spun around so fast; she felt some of her bones crack. "What?"

It was now that she finally placed the magazine on the table and got up, "Just yesterday he was telling me how he was not ready to take up the responsibility of having children"

Riddhima heart began to beat, wanting to escape, He heart was working fast, trying to transport to her mind that "No Armaan wont tell mum all this, he wont discuss our private matters to mum, He cant do that, he wanted this, he wanted a baby"

"You must have misunderstood him mum, I know what he wants" Riddhima blurted, completely relying on what her heart was telling her.

"Oh, do you? You know my son better now?" she said crisply.

"I don't believe I know him better than you, but I do know some things, some things which I'd prefer to remain between a husband and wife".

"Are you indirectly pointing out that I'm interfering in this so called husband wife relationship?"

"Stop it mum" Riddhima's temper was rising, her calm and composed nature was gone for a toss, "So called relationship? Are you even aware of what you're saying, so called? May be you should revise your dictionary mum, your using words in all the wrong places"

"How dare you talk to me like that?"

"How dare you even provoke me mum? I'm your sons wife, don't you even respect me the slightest? Atleast respect me for humanity sake; don't forget I'm a woman like you"

"A woman like me'? Don't associate someone such as yourself to me"

"Such as myself? What have I done? Nothing, you've been filling his ears all this time? Aren't you? You're the reason for the friction going on between us for the past 3 months"

A triumphant smile crept on the wicked lady's face, "did you just ask what you have done? Being the daughter of a mother such as yours is a big fault in itself, it makes me feel like filth to have you in the house"

"MOM" came a louder and stronger voice from the door, "Stop this will you, and let us live in peace"

"But son...?"

"But what mom? I've had enough from you"

He took Riddhima's hand and guided her back to the room and locked the door, she had walked all the way like she had no thinking of her own.

Armaan took hold of her upper arms, making her stand more erect, supporting her "I'm sorry Riddhima, I'm really sorry, I've been an idiot, I should have listened to you, she's been filling my mind, I'm sorry for the few days I didn't talk to you'"

No response.

"Riddhima?" He lifted her face up by the chin to see bloodshot eyes. "I'm filth, I'm considered filth in this house" she choked, "I never realized, I've been cleaning the filth in this house for more than a year trying to make it sparkling, but I didn't realize all this while, I'm the filth"

He face depicted utter shock, her eyes were in pain, her tears flowed down, but all he could do was look at her, just stare at her, no words for consolation, somewhere he felt responsible for this state of hers, he engulfed her in a hug, for sometime she just hugged him back tight, crying loudly, she couldn't remember when she had cried like that last time, that happy bubble in her had burst for good. She suddenly pushed Armaan, "No, don't touch me; you'll get filthy too, so don't"

She pushed him away as he came nearer, she stepped back every time he came ahead finally tripping over from behind and landing on the floor.


A female voice, Riddhima opened her eyes; she was back to the present day, long left behind her past.

"Is that you there? Open the door?"

She hastily wiped her tears and hurriedly opened the door, "Kya hua tujhe? darwaza bundh kyun kiya, aur yahan kya kar rahi hai tu?"

It was a awkward moment, "Muskaan itne sawal ek saat nahi poochte, leave her alone, tu chal mere saat" Rahul hastened.

He pulled Muskaan and dragged her along with him; around the corner he stopped to give thumbs up to Riddhima and vanished.

Riddhima looked around the place; she had not realized that she had come to the staff floor; she saw the small banner above Armaan's cabin, Armaan Mallik it read, the door was shut.

She had not had lunch, there was no time for lunch now, she adjusted her bag on the shoulder and walked ahead preparing herself to pass his cabin and down the stairs, she walked and almost passed his cabin when suddenly the door banged open from inside grabbed her hand and forcefully pulled her in, her bag had fallen off her shoulder and onto the floor outside the door, it was all so quick that she had no time to think. All she knew now was that she was pinned to the wall with strong arms capturing her wrist to either side of her head.

She felt exposed; the length of his body over hers sent shivers down her back, "we're too close, too close'." The same strong breath was issuing from his mouth on hers; she stared into his eyes which looked blurred because of the closeness, they were breathing heavily, as if they had run miles, the next moment everything blanked out, her eyes were shut closing the doors to all the miscommunication, ego's, hatred. All that was known to her was the present; she was surrendering to his kiss with ultimate passion.



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