Friday, 8 February 2019

Hollowed (ARSH os )



The passion rose as our bodies collided and our lips smashed into each other. The lust was evident in both of our hungry kisses. Our kisses couldn't justify the lust that emanated from both of us. I heard a click of the door knob but I was too immersed in what was in front of me that I ignored the consequence of my actions. I heard a thud, and everything came crumbling down at me.



She looked at me with those eyes that I adored. Without saying a word, she slowly made her way towards me. I could see that she was not trying to avoid anything. She looked straight in my eyes. I couldn't tell from her expression if she was mad or sad. Her eyes were the reason I fell for her deeply in love, but those are the eyes that I came to despise that day. They were so mysterious, even to the point where it annoys me.  She looked at me with those calm eyes. No horror, no hurt, no love, just hollowed expression.




I closed my eyes, waiting for whatever that may come next. I was sorry for what had happened, but I knew that I couldn't run from the sin I had committed at the moment. I slowly opened my eyes and instead of looking at her, I looked at the plastic bag that was the reason for the thud. It lay there motionless.



This was, I think, the major difference between us. She looked at everything clearly while I was a coward who wanted to run away. She faced everything and stood up to what she believed in while I cowardly abided by someone else's rules. She would have preferred to be alone rather than friends who force you to conform while I would have preferred those fake friends.  Lastly, she would have never given into a bet or passion that betrayed your lover no matter how much of a chicken you are called for it, while I did without thinking twice about it.



Her hands flew up in the air. I closed my eyes, again, expecting a hard blow on my face, feeling the unusually gentle touch on my shoulder instead. I began to shudder contemplating what she may say next. She looked straight in my eyes and a sad smile graced her lips and she whispered, "Goodbye Armaan..." I looked at her, wanting to stop her as she closed the door when she left but I couldn't. My feet stood rooted to the ground. What have I done?



She did not at all look at the girl right next to me. She only looked at me, the man she trusted from the bottom of her heart, and the man who betrayed her. There were no accusations, no tears, no blame, just regrets. Regrets of ever trusting. She never needed to say anything because I understood her without her telling me anything. She was so different, so apt for me, and yet I lost her.



As soon as she left, I collapsed on the bed. The girl right next to me dressed up and left while I reviewed whatever happened just few minutes ago. I couldn't comprehend it. She left me? I knew the reason and how I wanted to repent for it but I knew better than to try because once the trust is broken, it cannot be reestablished again...there will always be the scars and broken pieces as the reminder of the betrayal.



My eyes scanned the messy room, and it fell upon the dark colored plastic bag that she left as her last memory. I went to it and shuffled inside it only to find a box and a note. I opened the box, being especially surprised at what was in it. My favorite platinum watch that I had wanted but was not able to get due to my low income. Tears began to form in the corner of my eyes as I opened the note. It read:



"My love, I am sorry for all the dates and dinners I have been missing. I knew how much you wanted this watch. I know how much it means to you and if I had to do overtime work just to get enough money to give you such happiness then I am willing to sacrifice my time for it. My only regret it to not be able to have the dinner you planned for our anniversary. I wanted to give you for our year anniversary, but I couldn't save enough money to buy you this. Well, better late than never. Happy Anniversary. Love Shilpa."



I couldn't hold down the tears anymore. I cried and cried at the mistake that I can never amend for. I loved her. She was so different, so apt for me, and yet I lost her forever.

********************

Jiya

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