Thursday, 21 February 2019

Part 9 : Perfect Imperfection...love..


She had no clue of what he was upto....she tried to talk to him to ask him where he was driving both of them but he started singing 'mysterious girl' n she had no option but to wait in silence....he grinned thinking of her current confusion and anticipating her reaction to his suprise...as they stopped at a red signal he turned to look at her, and was captivated by her looks again....she looked so innocent and cute with those wierd expressions she was giving while muttering something he couldnt hear but knew well they were no compliments for him, atleast for now....he had a sudden urge to pull her into his lap in a hug and cuddle her and sit like that for hours....and then suddenly the honking from behind brought him back....he shook his head violently and chidded himself in silence....armaan dude get a life....at this rate u will never be concentrating on ur work once she is a part of ur life, ur house,....ur bedroom....bedroom he thought drifting away again....smiling unknowingly...he wondered what it would be like to share his room with her....to have sections of this walk in closet covered with her clothes and shoes...to see her before sleeping an wake up to see her face first thing in the morning....to see her come out of a shower and....AAARRRGGGHHHHH....no no
no....armaan....concentrate on ur goals....just to stop his thoughts from going any more wild, he decided to make conversation...."so what color do you like your bedroom walls????"...HUH?????o man what kinda question is that now...what crap are u talking????o god help me....whats happening to me...she interrupted his self reproaching thoughts by saying..."shades of lilac and mauve....but if you find that too girly we can stick to whatever you have right now....what do u have anyways????" he looked at her amazed....she had not thought he was a jerk to ask her a question like that????in fact....she seemed to be replying quite seriously...."ummmm they are a lemonish shade....broken white in parts.....but u know what.....if you prefer lilac, we can get parts of the room done in that shade....just need to get some interior designer to figure a pattern which can adjust a combination between the two...."....looking at her again he saw her smiling as if imagining a look in her head....it made him smile to think how simple her needs were and how easily she was pleased....he had dealt with some real spoilt beauties in his school years....and somehow this change seemed appealing to him....yes thats what it is he thought....she is just different and so i feel like spending time with her....just general attraction nothing more....phew!!!n here i was getting scared of some wierd emotions building up within me....dont worry mate.....ur fine...just simple plain attraction....u will get used her soon and then all back to normal....after all u armaan malik...and emotions...nah they just dont go together.....reaching their destination, he stopped the car, n said"ok we are there....wait i will help you get out..."...
she looked at the two showcases full of diamond rings before her as he removed her blindfold....one for ladies and the other for men....and then she looked at him..."what now" she asked...."o god! ridhimaaa....chose your engagement ring what else????or do u like that ring box empty????good for me in that case i get to spend the extra cash saved on my curent girlfriend!!!"saying this with a playful grin, he winked at her....and finally catching up with his suprise she just couldnt help smiling, even blushing slightly....what was this guy....could he not propose a girl in a simple straight way????but then, thought ridz....this is so much better...n so much more special....thinking of how she had been ready to yell at him yet again when he had given her the empty ring case she laughed....and then said "armaan...are u ever serious about things???cant believe i said yes to marry a jerk like you...but i....." she stopped...the words 'love u' had almost left her tongue....blushing deeply this time she said "i mean i guess u left me no choice right????" he looked at her...a bit hurt???....he realized what she had been on the verge of confessing....well she had done it last evening indirectly....but somehow the thought of her saying it aloud.....armaan thought wishfully if he would ever hear those words from her....n then he thought....why should he bother....he did not believe in the word love....it meant nothing to him....from her or from anybody in the world....they were getting married for the deal he reminded himself yet again...and thankfully he was not getting tied with a jerk in matrimony for this deal....he knew what his father had meant about ridhima though...he knew he would always have a friend in her....and thats why he told himself....he would keep her happy....only thats why......
getting back to the rings he said..."which one do u like????"...."i dont know" she replied.."between these three...cant decide which is better....but tell me something which one do you like from the men's section"....looking at her meaningfully he said "you are going to chose that for me ridz.....remember i said you have to do something for me....this is it....chose our engagement rings"....."but armaan....you gotta tell me what kind of taste u have...how can i just pick anything at random...what if you dont like it....and....."
"i chose your life partner without asking you for your choice ridhima....." he said interrupting her in a guilt ridden voice....then realizing that he should have not brought the topic up again, he said in a lighter tone...."guess i deserve to be punished with atleast a ring of your choice.....what say????"looking back at the rings he continued "listen...i trust you....i will like whatever you chose....just go ahead and pick one each....." ridhima just couldnt stop staring at him....slowly her eyes got moist....not hearing her speak up armaan looked at her, and shocked to see the tears forming in her eyes just excusing themselves from the salesman he pulled her to a corner gently....he felt bad for having reminded her of last evening and making her cry....but before he could speak up ridhima said "never again will you mention this alright???i was angry with you yesterday for the way things went just because i was too shocked....but i said what i wanted to and that chapter is closed armaan....i feel really bad about having put you through so much trouble just to please me again....but i also feel pampered and special like never before....i did not realize until now why you were doing all that you did since morning but now i know....it was your way of telling me that i and not just you alone would be making decisions for us and our new life....the song, the flowers, the walls, the rings....u wanted me to see all through the day that my opinions mattered....i am sorry i just saw your meaning too late....i love you armaan..." saying this she hugged him tight...though hesitant at first, her embrace around him spoke in volumes of what all this had meant to her and he just could not stop himself from hugging her back....and then he smiled, realising her last words before the hug....i love u armaan...the words echoed in his head...and he pulled her tighter into the embrace, feeling a comfort he had not felt in ages....never wanting to let go.....

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~a week later~

she looked at the diamond which adorned the ring finger of her left hand as she sat before her dresser taking off the jewellery....the engagement ceremony had ended just about an hour ago...she sat before the mirror....looking at the ring and then at herself....so much had changed in the past one week....ridhima was by now deeply in love with the man in her life, the only one there ever was and would be she knew...she had spent some of the best moments of her life in the last one week....armaan knew just how to elevate her spirits and make her feel special, and it never seemed like he had to put special effort for it...just being himself, he would make her feel like a princess....he had attended all seven of her shows, picking her up and dropping her back each day....but she could not cease to think about two nagging doubts...armaan's mum....whom he had told her not to ever mention between the two of them....she had dropped the topic at that but it had preoccupied her thoughts every time she was in the malik mansion....she was convinced there was a misunderstanding for she could not see how either of the two- mother or son, could have wronged enough to bring this day upon the family that they preferred to not interact at all living under the same roof....smrat was politely nice to her but they were not close enough for her to ask him about her doubts, and muskaan would not return right until the wedding itself form her honeymoon with rahul....
her second nagging doubt was what she wondered about every free moment of the day....she loved armaan completely....and she knew he cared for her in the earnest...but not once in the weeks duration had he confessed his love to her....she knew she should not think this way since he did everything possible to show her how important she was to him and how much he cared.....that did not however prevent her from noticing that no matter how many times she said i love you, he would respond in any way except reciprocating with those three words....she had felt during the last week severe urges several times to ask him candidly whether or not he loved her....and if not (she trully hoped this was not the case) then what had brought about his consent for the wedding; but she was scared of losing the fantasy world he had created for her over the last one week by saying something like that and sounding insensitive....to be precise....he had given her so much happiness by his caring actions that she felt very insecure about losing it...perhaps, she reasoned within, it was because she never really had witnessed true happiness before he happened to her....and now that she knew what it felt like, she wanted to lose it at no cost....and so she kept both her doubts aside, flowing with the tide of events....making herself believe that their coming together somewhere was an indication of his unspoken feelings for her...

armaan on the other hand had not been at peace with himself in the least.....his mind had been absolutly ambivalent, battling between his professionalism and suddenly blooming personal life....apart from not having missed her a single day on the stage for the seven days of her performance, they had gone shopping together for the ring exchange ceremony a couple of times and he thouroughly enjoyed the so called shopping sprees which he had always hated like all men, until now that is!!!....for the remaining duration they had stayed indoors either at the gupta mansion or the malik mansion, since, though ridhima had been done with her final course grades in terms of her role as helen, armaan yet had his finals to go. ridhima would stay with him for most parts of the day and sometimes night, while he studied for his exams, she would work on literary write ups, or spend time reading some best seller....occassionaly he would walk into the kitchen to grab a snack, only to see her cooking absentmindedly, while reciting lines from some upcoming street play....he would stand there in silence watching her perform, she being oblivious to existence of a completely captivated man in the same room.......they would take coffee breaks, go for jogs, or for basketball games...armaan had figured in just a couple of games that ridhima was a decent level player who could not be underestimated unlike his past girlfriends most of whom he would let win for the heck of it....he enjoyed her company and their chats....for the first time in his life he felt like he had met an intellectual equal in a girl.....and this was what made him admire her greatly....but much against his logical wishes, admiration was not where the relation ended for him....what he could not come to terms with was his growing attchment to her....it did not escape his notice as to how restless he would feel if she forgot to give him his morning wake up call...or if she could not make it for their usual coffee break in the evening due to some other commitment....in this extremely short period of 7 days, her personna seemed to have grown on him....he would find excuses just to pull her into a hug, cuddle her or give her a quick peck on her cheeks and forehead....everytime they touched, he had to battle within to not go beyond those actions of adorability since he dared not word, even to himself, that she was perhaps arousing in him feelings he had never felt before....everytime she uttered those three magical words of love, he had to literally struggle to not reciprocate them in words......though he kept reiterating the deal as the aim of their tying the knot, he feared to think of ridhima's reaction if this deal was ever to be uncovered as having been the major cause to bring about this wedding....well atleast thats how it had started....he told himself that he should not lose focus....love was a word he could not and would not permit in his life.......he cared for her because she was worth it he told himself.....and anyways they were due to get married immediately after their graduation....but he argued, he would not allow himself to believe that the existence of a woman in his life could be indispensible......somewhere inside however, his heart was beginning to rise in rebellion and refute this statement, as he tried hard to check all in vain.
The date for the wedding had been finalized for June 6th....exactly about a month from the engagement...shashank and samrat who could not wait for the wedding now seeing their plan perfectly falling into place, just could not get the paper work in place earlier than that, and so a month's wait....armaan was restless too....and though like always he told himself it was because he wanted to see the alliance he had waited for so long, deep inside a voice which he snubbed too regularly now told him, that another equally or now perhaps more important reason was resulting in his eager awaitation....ridhima was living in a daze with a calender across her bed where she marked off days as the wedding day closed in.....no girl, she mused, would ever have been so eager to leave her own house, as she was for obvious reasons!...radhika, meanwile the quiet observer to all this had been noticing without fail the change in her son....though initially she had seriously considered talking to ridhima about facts before it was too late, she now realized that perhaps her intervention would ruin a wedding that was made in heaven....she could see how armaan was loosening up each day and she realized it was only matter of time that he would admit his feelings to himself to her and to the whole world.....and she knew how much ridhima loved him....radhika therefore came to the conclusion, that conniving though both the fathers were, they had accidentally done a good deed...a wonderful deed infact....and that she would give armaan...and ridhima and their relation atleast one chance.....she prayed to god her son would not be sacrificed to samrat's schemes and that rdihima, in due course of time after knowing the whole truth, would understand him, for she knew no matter how hard samrat had tried, armaan had not been completely devoid of the effect of his mother's genes.....

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Spln

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