Saturday, 2 March 2019

part 19 & 20 : Tumhare hum


part 19 :

 had fallen asleep for about an hour
until that is, the car started to slow
down, eventually coming to a
complete halt. I jerk forward in
response and look at Armaan
annoyed yet dizzy. He shrugs his
shoulders and I turn my face so I
can see the rain pouring hard
against the windshield. I sigh
knowing that we can't possibly drive
in this type of whether. I roll down
my window slightly and notice a

cottage up ahead. I yank at
Armaan's shirt and ask him, "Armaan
it doesn't look like this rain is going
to stop anytime soon. Look there is a
cottage over there. Let's see if they
will let us spend the night?" Armaan
just nods obediently, looking kind of
cute. He really is cute, no wonder I
liked him. I think I drank too much
liquor. I don't even know how I am
genuinely acting so civil with him
because normally I would be yelling
about him not checking the weather
before we left. Weirdly enough, I feel
a little more chirpy and upbeat then
my usual depressive and sadistic
self.
We run towards the cottage,
completely drenched with our
clothes clinging to our bodies.
Armaan has his suit's jacket draped
over our heads in attempts to
protect us from the rain, but it
obviously didn't do a good job. I
look towards Armaan to see his hair
now completely wet and sticking up
in all directions, giving him this
naturally hot look. My eyes then
land on his bronze chest, with water
droplets trailing his smooth skin and
his shirt hugging his perfectly
sculptured body. I am having very
lustful desires for him if you haven't
noticed already and I can't seem to
control myself. I pry my eyes away
with great difficulty and focus on
the door in front of us as we wait for
the owner to let us in. I look around
uncomfortably and feel ashamed and
embarrassed at my own thoughts.
Just then, the servant, who is a very
old man, opens the door and sees
that we are completely drenched
and helpless. He ushers us inside
the cottage, while Armaan asks, "I
can't drive in the rain like this so
would it be possible to stay the
night?" The old man says, "Sir and
Madam are away on a holiday, I
don't think they would mind if you
and your wife spend the night."
Armaan looks towards me to see my
reaction, but I'm too dizzy to even
care about the wife comment at the
moment. We both look towards the
old man gratefully and he shows us
the guest room upstairs.
Armaan and I enter the room,
noticing there is only one bed.
Armaan goes over to the fireplace
and gets the fire started since it is
chilly in the room. I move across the
room and open the window noticing
the rain still pouring outside yet
more rhythmically. A smile spreads
across my face. I run my fingers
through my wet hair, playing with
the ends as I stare outside. I then
hear footsteps approaching me,
stopping directly behind me. This is
when the power goes out, yet the
only light in the room comes from
the flames emitting from the
fireplace. I turn around to meet a
pair of intense grey orbs looking into
my soft chocolate brown ones. My
features soften as I look over his
handsome face, so close to my own.
Our proximity becomes less
important to me, yet I can't
understand why. The walls of
resistance I created come crashing
down in that moment. I can't
describe what I'm feeling right now
even if I wanted to. Somewhere in
my mind I know what I'm doing is
wrong yet I can't stop myself. My
hands reach up to brush away the
hair that falls in front of his eyes.
My fingers run down his cheek then
slowly past his lips, feeling chills
running down my own spine. I pull
my hand away not knowing how I
could have done something so bold.
He slowly comes up behind me
again, placing his arms around me
delicate waist. His fingers start
tracing circles over the fabric of my
black dress. The feelings of lust start
to return as his lips rub up and
down the side of my neck, trailing
soft kisses. Not being able to
suppress my moan any longer, I
whisper out his name, "Armaan." I
turn around to face him, not
knowing what has gotten into me as
I trail kisses over his jaw line,
feeling his rough stubble under my
soft lips. I'm sure my mind was
screaming or probably even pleading
for me to stop, but I just couldn't
think straightly with him being so
near to me. I also didn't want to
think at the moment, he just looks
so good and I wanted him, badly. I
press my body into his, liking the
warmth he is providing. His hands
run up and down my back and then
he dips low catching my lips
between his own.
The kiss is soft at first, yet it is able
to wreak havoc with my emotions. He
kisses me gently and slowly, leaving
me thirsting for more. Before he
could pull away, I deepen the kiss
making it ever so passionate. My
knees begin to weaken as I feel his
tongue exploring the contours of my
mouth. I moan into his mouth, not
knowing why I ever stayed away from
him for so long. My hands run up
and down his chest, feeling every
muscle that lies beneath. I could
hear him sighing in pleasure as my
hands explored his body. My hands
then encircle each button and then
restlessly undo them, tossing the
black shirt aside. We start walking
backwards until my back is pressed
firmly against the wall. His lips
release my own and then travel
towards my neck and collarbone,
leaving me breathless. My own
hands run through his thick dark
hair. He picks me up in his strong
arms, while kissing my lips even
more passionately and then walks
over towards the bed.
He slowly places me on the bed and
then his body hovers over mine,
looking deeply into my eyes. His own
eyes are glazed over with passion
and are asking for my permission.
My mind screams to push him away,
but I can't seem to. My body rebels
against my mind and forces me to
close the distance between us by
kissing him hungrily on the lips. He
grins at my approval and mumbles,
"I love you Riddhima" into my
mouth. I barely grasp the meaning
of those words because of my
overwhelming desires. Then he
slowly brings the bed covers over us
.
Maybe it is the fact that I'm
intoxicated, maybe it is the fact that
I truly did want him; mind, body,
and soul… even if it was for a few
moments. They say when a person is
intoxicated, the release their
inhibitions and lose their self
control. For those few moments, I
wasn't myself and I forgot
everything. For those few moments, I
was the girl who was madly in love
with Armaan Mallik. Just for those
few moments…
***********

part 20 :


I wake up the following
morning feeling rather warm. My
hands run up and down in
confusion, trying to figure out what's
around me. It's very soft and
smooth, that's all I can figure out
without opening my eyes. My head
is hurting from all this thinking.
Then this thing that's around me
starts to move. I get even more
confused asking myself when I got a
pet, but then again this thing lacks
animal hair. So it's… a human, who
is completely invading my personal
space. That must be arms that are
tightly wrapped around my waist
and then I feel a soft kiss pressed
against my silky hair. Someone
mumbles the words, "I love you" in
the deepest and huskiest voice,
practically whispering the words.
OH MY GOD! Yeah that's when the
realization dawns upon me. I start
to feel scared to even open my eyes
and acknowledge who this person is
that keeps molesting me. Okay fine
it's probably not molesting and well
I can deduce it's not rape because
there would be absolutely no
cuddling of any sort! His hands are
on my bare waist, which are bringing
tears to my eyes. I'm not wearing
anything! Images flood my mind as I
feel his hands draw patterns on my
bare skin. HOW COULD I HAVE DONE
SOMETHING SO STUPID? WAS I ON
CRACK? …never mind I WAS DRUNK!
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!
THAT'S RIGHT I WASN'T THINKING,
THAT'S THE PROBLEM!! MOST
IMPORTANTLY, HOW COULD I HAVE
LET MY FIRST TIME BE WITH HIM?
Wait… did he just say I love you? Oh
crap, what the hell am I suppose to
say now? I mean I cannot possibly
break his heart right now
considering the fact that I'm not
even wearing clothes! Think
Riddhima THINK!!! I got it…
I open my eyes slowly,
preparing myself for confronting this
horrendous situation. He smiles
looking into my eyes and softly
presses his lips against mine. I
suppress the tears, which threaten
to fall as he kisses me. I can't push
him away because it will ruin my
plan! I'm completely helpless! I try
not to let him notice my sadness. I
look into his eyes searching for
answers, wanting to know for sure if
he has truly realized the essence of
what he has just revealed to me. He
looks at me lovingly and smiles, "I
love you Riddhima." Before I can
even think of a response he says,
"Shh… you don't have to say
anything at all! I just want you to
know that I love you. I know you
already know of the kind of man I
once was… I was a Casanova, a
player. I never cared about the girls
I was with before, but you
Riddhima… I don't know what it is
about you that makes me want to be
near you, close to you. You have this
fire within you and this passionate
soul. You're different. You challenge
me in ways I have never imagined
and I love that you keep me in line.
There is something so mysterious
about you… you're an enigma. I'm
enchanted by your spell Riddhima,
as cheesy as that may sound, but
it's true I do love you Riddhima.
Now you may think it's too soon for
me to be in love with you and
believe me when I say I was
surprised myself, but I just know
that I am. I just wanted you to know
how I feel about you. I have no
intentions to ever break your heart!
You don't know how much you mean
to me and I hope that one day you
will feel the same for me…"
Uhh… now what the heck does a
person say to that! I'll take
suggestions, seriously anyone?
Anyone at all? Okay, no I can't
forgive him! And no, I can't break
his heart right now because I still
don't have my clothes on! Think
about it how awkward would it be to
tell him off, break his heart, and
then get dressed in front of him
while he gives me death glares or
maybe something even worse. Hmm
looks like I'm on my own on this
one…
I look towards him and lean
closer, giving him a brief peck on the
lips. Yes, I know not the exact
reaction you were looking for, but I
have decided to play along for a
while. This would have gone down
so much better if I had my clothes
on! He seems pleased with my kiss,
but doesn't seem satisfied. Before
he can pull me underneath him, I
jump out the bed grabbing onto the
black silky bed sheets and dash to
the bathroom with my black dress to
get away faking a giggle.
As soon as I enter, I sigh in relief
knowing that I at least got away
from repeating the same mistake
over again. I feel so helpless
because I can't yell at him for what
we did since that will look very odd.
I'm so confused, I don't understand
how I could have let that happen? I
despise him so much, so how could I
willingly sleep with him? I turn on
the shower and enter, letting the
tears finally escape my eyes. I feel
so ashamed that I slept with
Armaan. It's not even the fact that
it was Armaan that matters, it's the
fact that I slept with someone before
marriage. I can barely remember the
details, which I guess is a good
thing. He completely robbed me of
every precious moment a girl is
entitled to, including this. I
completely I dishonored my parents
and broke their trust. I may have
become more modern over the years,
but this was something I had firmly
believed in.
I wipe my tears and step
out of the warm shower to look in
the mirror. I notice my bloodshot
eyes and then look away. I quickly
put on the black dress again and
then step out the bathroom when
my eyes clear up. Armaan yawns and
whistles while he looks at me. I
grind my teeth and watch him get
out of bed. He comes close and gives
me a peck on the cheek before he
goes in the bathroom. As soon as he
closes the door, I wipe my cheek
furiously, making it turn red. I groan
knowing I surely have myself in a
tight fix. We eventually head down
and thank the old man for letting us
spend the night, although I really
wish he hadn't let us stay. I would
not have been in this mess if it
weren't for him. Oh great, now I'm
blaming the poor old man! Ugh I
hate my life! We soon get back to
Mumbai after a couple hours.
Armaan drops me home and I just
force a smile. He slightly frowns
since he didn't get a goodnight kiss,
but doesn't complain or protest.
I quickly get inside my house and
greet my parents feeling quite guilty
about everything that happened
without their knowledge. What
happened with Armaan was the
biggest mistake of my life, bigger
than falling in love with him eight
years ago. I feel the need to let all
my anger and stress out, but I have
no outlet. I can't go to Muskaan
because she is on her honeymoon. I
can't trust anyone else besides her!
I really do have trust issues!
Sometimes I feel like I have nothing
to live for in all seriousness. I've
learned not to ask if things can get
any worse because they can!
The only thing I have to look forward
to is that my twenty-sixth birthday
is the day after tomorrow. Armaan
has totally and now completely
ruined my life, I bet he will ruin this
too. I really feel like I'm the one
sabotaging my life on purpose. What
the hell was I thinking when I had
decided to have my revenge? I'm so
messed up in the head! I need some
sleep to figure out that the heck I'm
suppose to do now. I slowly go up
the stairs and into my room,
contemplating my next move. Little
did I know I wouldn't need to think
that hard because things would soon
fall into place.

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