Sunday, 3 March 2019

part 21 & 22 : Tumhare hum

The following morning I
decide to call in sick at work. I can't
get myself to get out of bed to see
Armaan again. It's way too weird and
awkward for me, especially since he
declared his love for me and I'm
suppose to break his heart in the
end. I lounge around in bed,
knowing that no one else is in the
house. I reluctantly get up and go

downstairs to watch some television
on the couch. I start feeling a little
hungry so I go into the kitchen and
look into the fridge. Then I open the
freezer and take out the box of ice
cream. I don't know why I want to
eat ice cream, but I guess it is just
one of those days. I watch some
random comedies, hoping those
would cheer me up. Eight hours and
four movies later, I'm in an every
crappier mood than before. Okay so
maybe romantic comedies weren't
the way to go. Stupid couples and
their stupid love stories. I look into
the empty carton of ice cream
sighing. Looks like I'm going to need
some more ice cream. I get up to
head over towards the kitchen again,
until I hear the door bell ring. I
open the door and it looks like I
can't even get a break for one single
freaking day! I cannot believe my
I hope I don't have to tell
you that Armaan is standing outside
my door, I mean I think that's a
given when I start cursing my lucky.
He is wearing black dress pants and
a white button up shirt with a few
buttons left undone. It looks like he
just came from the fashion house.
He looks at me a little confused,
which makes me confused as well.
He asks, "I thought you were sick?"
My eyes grow wide and I say quickly,
"I was sick in the morning, but now
I'm feeling better." Armaan grins,
"That's great!" I unwillingly usher
him inside the house since he is
standing outside expectantly. He sits
on the couch and I slowly sit next to
him, trying to keep a distance
between us. An awkward silence fills
the air. He turns to me and says, "So
guess what I found out today?" My
paranoia kicks in and I feel a little
anxious. I ask worriedly, "What?" He
grins, "I'll tell you, but I want to
show you something first." I reply
uneasily, "Sure." He smiles widely,
"How about you go get changed out
of your PJ's and then we can go." I
reply skeptically, "Umm okay…"
I rush upstairs kind of
curious as to what he wants to show
me. I slip on a light pink and white
flowery dress and lightly do my
makeup. I come down hearing him
gasp in delight, "Wow." I grin widely
hearing his response to my dress,
which was pretty simple, but entirely
me. He holds his hand out signaling
me to hold onto him, while he
escorts me. I slowly place my hand
in his after locking the door to my
house. He closes the door after I sit
in the passenger seat and he runs
around to his car door. He finally
gets inside the car and drives off
towards this unknown destination.
While driving he seems
focused on the road, almost like he
is forcing himself to keep his eyes
solely on the road ahead. Hmm
seems like I'm a bit distracting. This
thought makes me smirk as I look
out the window. We soon stop at
this beautiful beach. I look towards
Armaan, who nods to assure me that
we are indeed in the right place. He
opens the door for me and pulls me
out of the car. As we walk on the
sand, his hand finds its way into
mine. I watch as the waves wash up
against the shore. It looks beautiful.
We walk for about ten minutes,
without any words being exchanged.
Then all of the sudden he stops
I look up at Armaan
questioningly and see him staring
straight ahead. I look in the
direction of where he is looking and
see a little white tent set up with a
little white table in the middle. In
the center of the table is a bunch of
food and the tent is full of red roses
and rose petals lying around
carelessly. I look at Armaan, while he
just grabs my hand and ushers me
to the table. He pulls out my chair
and I sit down, trying to digest all
that's happening. I ask, "Armaan,
what's all of this?" He looks at me so
lovingly, causing guilt to arise within
me as he says, "It's for you
Riddhima, all for you." I ask
curiously, "But why Armaan?" he
simply says, "For coming into my life,
for showing me the meaning of
love." I just look towards him,
knowing he will regret what he just
said later. We eat the dinner he has
laid out for us, while he casually
steals glances at me. He then he
asks me for a dance.
Before I can point out that there is
no music, I faintly hear music
starting to play in the background. I
place my hand into his, feeling in a
rather charitable mood. After all, I
will be ruining his life, so might as
well give him some happy memories
before his nightmare begins. I
gently sway to the music and I place
my head against his chest, not
wanting to look into his eyes. His
hands run up and down my back,
trying to loosen me up a bit. He
eventually leads me back to the
table, while he disappears for a few
moments. In those few moments of
freedom, I notice it is quite late at
night. It is almost twelve o'clock,
meaning a few minutes until my
birthday. I look out towards the
water in complete awe. I get lost in
the sounds of the waves, so peaceful
and calming.
He brings me out of my
daze by whispering into my ear,
"Happy Birthday Beautiful." I look
towards him in total shock. How did
he even know? Before I can actually
ask he says, "I was looking through
some company files today and I
came across your birth date written
on one of them. I wish you had told
me, though." Yeah right, as if I want
to spend my birthday with you! I
simply say, "I don't really like to
make a big deal about it…" He nods
Moments later, I find him
helping me up from my chair. I look
out towards the water and see the
reflection of the moon on the surface
of the clear water. The stars are
twinkling against the midnight sky.
It was the perfect setting, if only we
were in love. I look towards Armaan,
but don't see him next to me. My
eyes dart around, eventually landing
on the sand to acknowledge his
presence. He is kneeling on the
sand looking up at me, with a little
black box in his hand. OH MY GOD!
I knew this was the moment, the
moment I was to break him. He
opens the box to unveil a beautiful
silver ring with a big diamond
glittering in the moonlight. I stood
there frozen as the words escaped
his lips, "Riddhima I love you, I am
in love with you. I know there can
be no one better for me than you.
You have stolen my heart and
although I know you are not in love
with me yet, I know there will be a
day when you will be… so I ask you
today, to trust my heart and marry
me. Will you Riddhima Gupta marry
My response is automatic
and cold, "No." His smile turns into
an immediate frown, "Did I do
something wrong?" I glare at him,
YOU!" He looks towards me shocked
at my outburst and asks as his voice
cracks, "Why do you… h-hate me?" I
mock him, "Why? You're asking me
why?! Well, I guess you have a right
to know! I hate you because you,
Armaan Mallik, have ruined my life!
Because of you, I can never love
again! Because of you I don't believe
in love anymore."
He looks confused and I snort
sarcastically, "The saddest part is
that you don't even remember me,
not even a little bit…" His confusion
grows, "What the hell are you talking
about?" I explain, "Eight years ago
Armaan, eight years ago… You were
my first boyfriend, my first love, my
first kiss, and now my first… and YOU
BROKE MY HEART! You insulted my
love!" He asks clearly confused,
"What?" I continue, "I had told you
that I loved you eight years ago and
you said, 'I don't love you Riddhima!
Mere liya pyaar sirf ek khel hai, jo
maine tumhare saath khela hain!
You don't mean anything to me! You
were just a challenge, a bet, nothing
else!'I still remember those exact
words Armaan, I still remember…
but you don't!"
He looks like he was going to
interrupt so before he can I remind
him of what had hurt me the most. I
smile through my tears and
continue, "You know I would have
lived with the fact that you didn't
love me back, but after what you
said and did afterwards hurt the
most. You mocked me, 'Maine kaha
tha ke mujhse pyaar karo…nahin na?
It's your problem, not mine! Tum
samhajti kya ho aapne aap ko… tum
toh sirf ek time pass thi, aur kuch
nahin! Tum mere kabil toh bilkul bhi
nahin ho, have you looked in the
mirror, shakal dehki hain aaine
mein… ek dum behenji laagti ho!
Tumhe toh mera ehsaan maana
chaiye ke maine tumhari jaasi ladki
ke saath waqt guzaara! Just be
happy you got the privilege to spend
time with me because you will
always remain a behenji in everyone
eyes! You'll never be good enough
for me, NEVER!!!' You broke my heart
and will to live that day. I had to
change myself so that no one could
ever take advantage me of again. I
had promised myself long ago that
you would feel the same pain I went
through, that I would get my
revenge... my sweet revenge… and I
finally did!" He looked like he just
got slapped in the face. He gave me
a sympathetic look, "Riddhima I'm
really sorry, but…" There are tears in
his eyes, as well as in mine. I
disgustedly say, while wiping my
own tears, "Save your breath
Armaan. I hate you and nothing you
can say or do will change that and
the truth is that you were never
good enough for me. But you know
what it doesn't even matter anymore
because now I can finally move on
and forget you… Good-bye Armaan, I
hope you have a lonely life!"
I turn on my feet and walk away. For
some reason I got a strong urge to
turn around and look at his broken
state. I thought it would bring me
happiness, instead it made me even
more depressed. I see him standing
on his knees, tears streaming down
his face. He stares at the sand
blankly. He is heartbroken and I
know it. I thought it would bring me
pleasure to see him like this, but it
only caused me even more
heartache. Why are there tears
forming within my eyes? This wasn't
how I had imagined this moment. I
wasn't suppose to be feeling all
chocked up inside as I watched him
breaking down. I couldn't take it
any longer, so I just leave. This is
supposed to be the best birthday
present I could have ever asked for
considering this was one of my life
long dreams, to see Armaan in tears
because of me, yet this didn't make
me happy. This was suppose to be
my moment, this was suppose to
make me feel better, this was
suppose to be sweet… but it wasn't.
Why did I feel like the bad guy
when clearly he was the one who
had wronged me? It is killing me
inside, my heart and my soul, but I
didn't understand why?

part 22 :

I definitely was not
expecting that to happen. This
wasn't how today was supposed to
go down. It was supposed to be the
happiest day of my life, instead it
became the worst. It was like a twist
of fate, a total nightmare. Someone
please pinch me, I have to be
dreaming this up! I dreamed we
would get engaged, then married
and we would live happily ever after.
This definitely complicates things.
My past came to bite me in the ***!
I really feel like a complete jerk for
saying all the crap to her years ago.
She really didn't deserve that. I truly
do feel bad about breaking her
heart, but I was a stupid teenager,
who thought he was just super cool
in every aspect. I remember when I
made her my new target. I liked to
challenge myself back then, to see
how much my looks could
accomplish. Riddhima was different
from the rest of the girls, even back
then. She wore traditional clothes
all the time and now I finally realize
why she looked so familiar that day
when I came to her house. She was
wearing a traditional suit, just like
then. I'd like to wish I didn't make
out with that random girl in front of
her. I feel awful about everything,
but what she did was equally bad.
She used me just to hurt me, so how
is that any better than what I did?
I truly do love Riddhima. I don't
know what it is about her that I find
so amazing. She isn't the prettiest
girl I have ever seen, but she has
this awesome personality. She always
keeps me on my toes. I can have
decent conversations with her, even
if most of it is witty comments back
and forth. I don't know what I am
going to do now. I can't just let the
love of my life, walk out of my life.
Even if she doesn't like me, she will.
I'll make sure of it!
Tears form stream down my
face as I remember Riddhima's
words. Those words had cut through
me deeply. Her words echo in my
It's such a strong word and it hurt
me immensely. I don't know how to
make her believe I have truly
changed. I can't believe she turned
me into this complete mess. Look at
me, I'm crying over a girl… but a
beautiful girl. I have become some
kind of sappy raving lunatic. I really
need a drink.
I get myself up and walk
towards my car, alone. I sit in the
passenger seat and look next to me
to see the empty passenger seat
next to me. She should have been
next to me, wearing my engagement
ring. Instead I'm alone and a
complete mess at that. I look into
my rear view mirror and notice my
bloodshot eyes. I drive around,
eventually stoppping the car at a
random club and make my way in. As
soon as I enter I feel the girls in the
room staring at me. I ignore their
stares and sit myself down at the
bar. I plan on completely getting
wasted tonight, all thanks to the
vindictive Riddhima Gupta.
I can't believe Riddhima would do
something so cruel. She looks so
innocent, she didn't act innocent
but that's besides the point. She
led me to believe that I had an
actual chance with her. All this time
she was just using me to hurt me in
the end. I never in a million years
would have pegged Riddhima to do
something like this. I think it hurts
more because I trusted her with my
heart. She knew I loved her, even
before I said it. I feel so hollow
inside knowing that she betrayed
me, the love of my life betrayed me.
I have to do something though. I
need to devise some type of plan,
but first I need a drink!
The bartender hands me the beer I
ordered and I chug it down all at
once. I order another one, feeling a
little light headed all of the sudden.
I start drinking the second one and
turn around on the bar stool to look
over at the dance floor. I see all
these happy couples having the time
of their lives dancing together. How
I wish that could be Riddhima and
me. I know it will happen one day,
whether Riddhima likes it or not.
Looks like I'm going to have to come
up with a very devious scheme to
master this plan of mine. I slowly
turn towards the stage and sip my
drink as I hear the singer of the
club sing Mausam from The Train.
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye… Sab nam
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye… Sab nam
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye… Sab nam
I reflect over all that happened
today and a tear escapes
my eye. My hand finds its way into
my pocket
and pulls out the black box. I stare
at the ring in my
hand as more tears run down my
Jab tadapta hai kabhi.. apna koi
Khoon ke aasoon… rulaade bebasi
Jab tadapta hai kabhi.. apna koi
Khoon ke aasoon… rulaade bebasi
Jeeke phir karna kya… mujhko aisi
Jeeke phir karna kya… mujhko aisi
Jisne zakhmon ko nahi marham diye
I start to feel a little suffocated by
the memories.
I drink more, trying to rid the pain
in my heart.
I really feel helpless at the moment.
I feel like no
matter what I say or do, nothing can
make it better.
I feel like giving up on life
altogether, after all what's life
without Riddhima? It's not a life I
am willing to lead.
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye… Sab nam
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye… Sab nam
I drink more as the song pours out
all my emotions
better than I ever could. The first
time I ever knew the
meaning of love and I lost her before
my love story
could actually begin.
Apne bhi pesh aaye.. hamse ajnabee
Waqt ki saajish…koi samjha nahi
Apne bhi pesh aaye.. hamse ajnabee
Waqt ki saajish…koi samjha nahi
be iraada.. kuch khata yeh, hamse
Raah mein patthar meri hardam diye
I thought I could trust Riddhima
with my heart, but I learned
the hard way. She broke my heart so
carelessly, so easily.
I know I made mistakes in the past,
but I changed.
Can't she see that?
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye… Sab nam
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
I can't believe she said she hates
I refuse to believe it. If she did hate
me then what
was last night? No one makes love to
the person
they claim to hate …no one.
Ek mukkammal kashmakash hai
Usne hamse ki kabhi na.. dosti
Ek mukkammal kashmakash hai
Usne hamse ki kabhi na.. dosti
She was using me all this time and
all this time
I thought she was at least attracted
to me romantically.
She wasn't. This was all part of her
plan. Now it's time to
fight fire with fire.
Jab mili mujhko aasoon ke woh tohfe
de gayi
Has sake hum aise mauke kam diye
Jab mili mujhko aasoon ke woh tohfe
de gayi
Has sake hum aise mauke kam diye
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
Jitne bhi Mausam diye… Sab nam
I wipe away the tears away and
laugh bitterly about
the way my life turned out. I never
thought that my
previous actions would come back to
haunt me.
I'm just going to have to fix this.
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diyeee
In ways I deserve what I got, but
even I'm not going to take this
lightly. I have to do something in
return, something not so nice. God,
why do I have to resort to bad
behavior? I mean seriously, she is
bringing out the devil in me right
now. I just know that whatever I do,
the end result should lead to our
happily ever after, but nothing is
ever easy. I think I may have to turn
into bad boy Armaan for a while,
until I see this plan thoroughly. I'm
not going to let her be stubborn and
ruin both of our lives. She claims
not to love me, but I know deep
down she does. Why else did she
look so hurt when she was trying to
hurt me? She loves me and if she
doesn't then she definitely will.
After all I am quite lovable. She fell
for me once so it shouldn't be too
difficult… I hope.
I really need to crash.
just meant I need sleep! I really
hope I didn't jinx it. Crap now I'm
scared to drive my baby home. I
don't think I'm that drunk to crash, I
mean I had like what three or four
beers… I should be fine. I decide to
get into my car and drive extra
carefully back home. I start cheering
when I reach my house and then
upon closer inspection I notice it is
actually Riddhima's house. I curse
under my breath because of my
really crappy luck. I get back in the
car after all the commotion I just
caused, hoping that no one saw me
like this. I drive off towards my own
house this time and stagger up the
stairs until I finally reach my door. I
sigh in relief knowing that this is
actually the right house. I go up to
my room and collapse on the bed
knowing that I will have to do
something about my little situation

and soon!

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