Wednesday, 2 June 2021

os : A KASHIAN'S DIARY (kash)


                     
Ok, so I'll tell you how it was…Karan grover, shilpa grover and their daughter came into our news channel's office today for an interview…I did not conduct it, I hardly met them for a minute or so. I have better things to do in life you see. But owing to my luck, I was told to edit the whole piece and cut it short for the telecast in the next few days…and I hated this task! Not because of what I was supposed to do, but because it was karan and shilpa! Arggghhh I hated them… I know I might sound weird and I know they have a huge fan following…but trust me, they are not worth it! I mean see, shilpa is technically karan's third wife! Third…THIRD!!! How could she even marry a man like that! They don't love each other, I know this! Yeah ok I admit it had been a few years to their marriage and they had a daughter also, but still…I can not come to terms with the fact that karan grover can love a girl whole heartedly…and that too for the whole lifetime! I am sure they won't stick together for much time…I don't really have proofs or something to tell that, since I don't watch their interviews and I don't care what's going on their life, but well, in fact that's the reason that one of my friends challenged me to edit this piece and resist falling in love with them…she said it was impossible! And ha! I took the challenge…impossible it was for me to love them!



So I sat on my computer and inserted the CD…you must have seen interviews and all, they are hardly ten minutes long when you see them…but when we journalists see them, they are hours long! That's coz we never switch off the camera till the time the actor is present, and then we edit the piece later…so I played this one and this one too, was hours long! I wondered how will I tolerate them for so long!

The video started and I saw our office's building from the outside; apparently the reporter who conducted the interview was waiting outside for them to arrive…

And there came in a huge car…I had thought both karan and shilpa would be there, but to my surprise I saw only shilpa coming out with her daughter…where was karan? Did he leave her?! Yeah he could definitely do that! And I was supposed to love them! Ha!!

I saw shilpa coming out in a knee length dark pink dress…it was simple, yet very elegant… no sleeves, only a few straps of the stylish dress on her shoulders along with the Gucci bag that she had held, and her other hand was clasped in her daughter's who was walking besides her, well now she was definitely a very very beautiful girl…and no doubt, since both her parents were actors, she had to be beautiful… shilpa came forward and met mani, my friend who was supposed to take that interview…I still felt blessed that I did not have to conduct it!

"helllooo shilpa!!!" mani was ecstatic, I wondered what was to be so happy about it, I mean yeah she was a huge fan…err I mean huge KaShian…that's how these phangurls like to be addressed you see!

"heyyyiiieee!!! How are you?" shilpa said with a cheerful smile…it seemed as though she was so happy on seeing mani! Ha! It was fake, I knew it…after all she was an actress, and these people are all the same!

"oh my god look at that baby!!!" mani exclaimed as she tried to shake a hand with angel, ok no…I thought she would shake hand but she was trying to pinch her cheek! Gross. Yeah the baby was cute, but itna bhi kya yaar…

"say hello angel..say hello…" shilpa told her to respond to mani but angel did not really look interested in conversing with her…she just started blankly at shilpa and then at mani…poor baby must be thinking where the hell was she stuck!

"karan nhi aaya?" mani asked shilpa as she led her inside… 'karan nhi aaya?' was he mani's brother that she asked so casually? Had she invited them for dinner? You know sometimes, these things just make me feel like puking!

"nhi he'd be coming differently…" shilpa was telling something to mani and I thought…yes!! He had left her alone and he must be away having an affair with some other co star of his! That kameena man I tell you!

"actually I had an ad shoot and he was on his set, usse baat ho gyi hai meri…he'll take half an hour to come.." shilpa told some excuse that karan must have fooled her with, I am still telling you that man is not a one woman man material at all!

Mani gestured her to have a seat on the sofa and she sat elegantly, well I did not really hate shilpa…at least I admired her style…but her daughter did not sit…I love it when these actors have to run after their children and plead them to do things…angel was more interested in seeing our office than sitting on the sofa, and so she started roaming around, seeing and picking up things from the tables and all. Shilpa had to finally stand up and come next to her to take her back when she whined and refused to cooperate, I would delete all these stupid scenes, I decided as I watched ahead… "angelll…come here baby…leave that….its chii chii" shilpa tried to convince her in a childlike accent and yes I have to admit, shilpa looked cute.
"Chhiii…" angel just repeated her last words but did not leave the pen holder she had picked up from the table…

"hmmm…ganda hai baby…leave it.." shilpa tried to take it away from her hand but angel did not give it to her, instead she tried to keep it back on the table herself, but all the pens had fallen on the floor…she looked down at the floor confusingly, but I don't think it mattered much to her as she did not react to it at all, she just simply kept the holder on the table, and ran back towards the sofa…shilpa picked up the pens and put them back…now this was wrong, I think mani or someone should've helped her but well, that girl was too busy playing with angel and making weird faces to her…let me tell you, mani never ever talked so sweetly to me or to anyone else, that she was talking to that little grover right now in the video…

Shilpa came back and sat on the sofa and both her and mani started chatting, they honestly behaved like long lost friends pata hai….i did not pay attention to their words at all…my hands itched to take the video forward but I couldn't, I was supposed to watch the whole stupid thing. While both of them were talking, I looked at angel and observed her closely, she looked so much like karan, with those dip dig dimples and her eyes were purely that of shilpa's…big and sparkling… she did not really seem interested in any conversation going around as she got up and again started to walk but she couldn't since shilpa had held one of her fingers while talking.. "mummmaa" she tried to free her hand from shilpa's hold, but shilpa in fact held her and made her sit on her lap…

Shilpa and mani were talking about the last party that they had met at…and mani went aside to get the photos from that party to show them to shilpa while angel was playing with shilpa's ring sitting in her lap…. "daadddaaa" she looked back at shilpa and said in a questioning tone, she was asking about karan I comprehended… "aa rhe hain abhi dadda…" shilpa answered plainly taking a look at the magazines kept beside, and as though she had just not heard shilpa, angel again asked with the same fervor.. "dadddaaa"

"aa rhe hain na baby…" shilpa again answered plainly turning the magazine's pages….

"mummmaaa" angel called out and when shilpa looked at her leaving the magazine aside, she again said the same thing with the same passion.. "dadddaaa"

"angiiieee" shilpa said in a reprimanding tone…. "aa rhe hai na dadda abhi…now stay quite…"

In the meanwhile, mani called out for shilpa and she and angel both went towards her, they were now standing in front of a huge bulletin board in our office that has all the photographs from the recent events and the actors' autographs…

"who's this angel? Kaun hai yeh?" shilpa asked angel pointing towards a photograph and for the first time, I saw angel smiling..in fact she was chuckling gleefully saying "mummmaa dadddaaa" she tried to touch their faces on the photographs…and continued saying her 'dadda' song…I seriously wondered if karan and shilpa taught their daughter another word…

"hmmm…see this is mumma….mumma kya kar rhi hai angie? Mumma dadda ko hug kar rhi hai…kya kar rhi hai?" shilpa now picked her up in her arms and pointed towards the picture…and angel replied… "kisshhh"  while I was getting irritated with all this, I saw mani was completely enjoying it. She giggled hearing angel describing her parents' hug as a kiss and shilpa looked at her, and then back at angel, she said with a red face.. "no baby, we're not kissing…" she put angel down on the floor and gave mani a little smile… "karan pata nhi kya kya sikhata hai isko!"

"I love him for this!" mani exclaimed as if she had just seen the most romantic scene. Gross. Totally gross.

"shut up!" shilpa rebuked her with a blushing face and they both again started chatting about the different photos on the bulletin board.

And here he comes! I saw karan appearing from behind where the two girls were standing and he had held angel in his arms…ok wait a minute now, wasn't angel standing beside shilpa just a few seconds before? How was she in karan's arms now? And in fact, only I had seen him coming from behind, both shilpa and mani were still busy in their non stop gossip…

Karan came and put a hand on shilpa's waist.she turned around and pecked his lips merrily… "hey you came…I thought tumhe time lagega…" she adjusted his hair while talking. Karan looked at mani and they exchanged pleasantries while angel again started fussing in his arms…

"haan main abhi aaya…ye mota sa bacha bahar ghoom raha tha…" he gave angel to shilpa and gave mani a side  hug…

"ye mota bacha kahin bhi bhaag jaata hai…kiska hai ye mota sa bacha? Kiska hai…" shilpa took angel in her arms and started talking to her pretending to eat her cheek or something…

"kya kar rhe the tum log?" karan asked mani casually. Just as casually as mani had asked her 'karan nhi aaya?' was she his sister or something? Why do these actors try to get so personal and friendly? I hated it. But I guess, mani liked it…all these kashian type people do…in fact, you won't believe, if you ask any of them the biggest day of their life, they'll say 24th January! The day karan and shilpa were married…hadd hai! In fact, the interview today was also going to be about their wedding anniversary…

"arre we were seeing these photos…from that party last month…" mani showed some more photographs and angel again started to protest in shilpa's arms…she wanted to go to her dadda and he took her back… "arre where do I keep these? Koi bag hai tumhare paas?" karan asked shilpa pointing to his googles and she pointed towards her bag. While both angel and karan went towards that, shilpa and mani went back to their photo-seeing session.

And I was getting bored now. I just wanted the formal interview to start so I could go on with my work and finish it ASAP. But none of the people in the video seemed interesting in any kind of interview or anything, in fact karan and angel seemed to have a good time with shilpa's bag in the background. At least karan loved his daughter whole heartedly, and the way he had greeted shilpa earlier also relieved me that he had affection for her too…varna karan….khair, Don't get me started on him. What I saw was that both karan and angel had found a chocolate in shilpa's bag and karan was making his baby eat it, and eating it equally with her! Fine, he did look cute and it seemed they shared a special bond…toh probably karan wasn't that bad, but still… :/

Shilpa and mani did not get to know anything about the movements going behind them, until finally sarthak, the other reporter came and asked if they could start now.

So karan, shilpa and angel in shilpa's lap settled on the sofa, (and yeah, karan and angel did not utter anything about the chocolate to shilpa. I did find that a little cute too, a little only lekin.) while mani settled on the opposite one holding the microphone  and finally they started with something!

Mani and sarthak were discussing the camera angles and positions while karan was playing with angel and talking to shilpa…seeing them did make me feel that yeah, he did love shilpa. Probably. They did look like a happy family after all.

"what kind of an interview is it?" karan asked mani as he saw him adjusting the mike and wires… "I don't know yaar..i don't even know the questions.. there were so any letters and requests that we had to do this…bas aap jawab dete rehna ab…"

"ok…ready…so.. goooddd morning everyone!! And here-" mani was interrupted by karan, he looked out and said, "its almost evening now.." "shut up na…jab air hoga to evening nhi hogi…" mani explained…I made a mental note of editing all of this…

"and here we have for you the most beloved couple ….aapke… hamare…hum sabke! Karan and shilpa grover!!" mani exclaimed cheerfully… "and angel!" karan added making angel sit on her lap…


"of course! And angel grover too! Probably for the first time on camera na?" she asked shilpa..

"hmm…for the very first time!" shilpa smiled….

"so first of all, a very very verrryyy happy wedding anniversary to both of you…how many years has it been?"

"seven years.." karan smiled politely…he was finally in the mood of giving an interview…infact he was always quite professional…I liked it…

"seven years!!!! Wow! That's a very very long time haan!" mani asked shilpa…

"not very long actually!"

"in fact it doesn't seem long at all…" karan added, "I can still start over… in fact I always think I wasted a lot of time.. at least 10th anniversary hoti abhi…"

"someone's quite deperate haan!" mani commented naughtily…I am telling you, if you were seeing the video, it was exactly like she was his sister or something…they were quite comfortable you know…

"its not desperate…but I seriously think I wasted a lot of time before marrying her…"

"let's not go there… and don't call it wasting time.." shilpa reprimanded…

"arre…I mean… jab hum show kar rhe the fir se sath me.. and we confessed…uske baad bhi we took time till the wedding and all na…"

"yeah…but even then, that was also not time waste…we were just knowing each other better na…" shilpa explained…I did not know till then, that someone can actually tell karan off like that…

"dadddaaa…." Angel whined in the middle of everything going on indicating that she did not want to sit in karan's lap anymore… so he made her stand between his legs holding both her hands and giving her support to stand…she almost leaned into him…

"acha on that note..lets actually see how much have you guys known each other in the past few years.."


"we have done it a lot of times…I am winning!" karan stated…

"that we'll see!" shilpa too seemed to get in the mood..

I"d have to edit all this also, I'll only keep mani's dialog and then the game… I made a note again..

"acha let's start…toh shilpa… what is the one thing about karan that has not changed over the years…"

Shilpa looked excited when mani had started narrating the question, but now she was like, "arre…I thought you'd ask about his likes and all…"

"high five mani!" karan exclaimed seeing  shilpa's expressions…

She rolled his eyes at him and continued… "there's nothing about him that has changed…"

"that's wrong…you gotta pin point one…shilpa zero…me 1" karan stated cheerfully..
"yeahh baby..dadda win!" he made angel look towards hi and she too smiled cheerfully…

"shut up! What I mean is that.. I never ever tried to change any habit or anything in him… he is still the karan I met ten  years ago…and I think he will always be that…in fact I prefer it this way…otherwise if he changes toh aur jhagre hi honge hamare…tum badal gaye and all types.."

"so there's nothing about him that has changed?"

"maybe he's juts a little more mature.. and uhm… softer probably…" shilpa looked at him and I could clearly say she was totally in love with that man…

"I am not soft.." he stated plainly..

Angel was not interested in anything…she was busy playing with karan hands…kissing them..or trying to make some shapes or something…

"look…he's so soft!" shilpa ruffled his hair but just in time, he removed his head from under her hand… "oye!" he rebuked…

"karan ke baal has definitely changed I think.." mani said..

"haan!! Pehle dekhe the…kitne bekar the…yahan se lambe..wahan se chhote..pata I had seen a photo of his…koi paper me ya net pe dekhi thi maine… kisi party me he was sitting like crazy people with that weird hair style… I was like thank god I am not in love with him! Abhi mujhe kya pata tha thode time baad I will only be in love with him!" shilpa told and chuckled…

"I remember that! I was there in that party…but I think tab se toh karan has changed completely…" mani told…

"in a  different sense!" karan added…

"acha so karan, one thing about shilpa that hasn't changed…or has changed…whatever you guys want to talk about!" mani asked faking helplessness….

"well….i think shilpa has become quite adjusting now…

"ah! I was always so adjusting and easy going…he has always been the one with 'my way or high way' thing…main to kuch bhi maan jaati hoon hamesha…" shilpa told with quite honesty.. and yeah in fact I also saw her as quite an easy going person always… karan in fact looked like the one shilpa was telling…the my way- high way thing…

"aisa nahi hai! You always have your share of nakhras…" he shot back…

"whatever!"

"can we have one question without you two fighting and quarreling about it?" mani reproved…karan tried to protest but mani again started "no…shh! This is my interview and I want it my way now…karan please ekdum tameez se baith jao..and answer me sincerely…"

Angel looked up at mani with a pout…as if she was on the receiving end of mani's wrath…

"whatever!!" karan shot and again made angel sit on his lap…

Mani smiled cheerfully as she continued again..

And I was like, man what is happening! Mani was literally scolding karan! I did not at all know that karan was such a happy go lucky person that he'd listen from somebody like a kid… yeah, I do accept that god has given him a good heart too…

"so what is the one thing karan that you think hasn't changed in shilpa in all these years of your marriage?"

"well…I think shilpa loves me exactly the way she did ten years ago!" he smiled…

"I love you more than that now…" shilpa added..

"and shilpa.. if there was one thing about karan that you would want to change…"

"nothing at all…he's perfect!" she held karan's arm and leaned onto him… angel too held his arm imitating shilpa…

"and karan…"

"nothing…" he said politely..

"sarthak…shut the camera! Karan…be natural…give me answers…just don't fight…" mani told karan softly..

"either I do it how I want to or I don't do it at all… and I wanna fight!"

"f.i.n.e. no interview!" mani looked him in the eye and said with arrogance…

"mani! Karan! No more word from the two of you now… behave karan…" shilpa intervened and stopped them…she also took angel and made her sit on her lap… "you wanna have a chocolate baby?" she asked angel in a kiddish manner rummaging through her bag for a chocolate…the one karan and angel had already finished… instantly realizing it, karan told something in whispers and animations to mani, and mani said "ok…yeah…so uhm…angel must have brought a great change in your lives…uhm… how do you think of shilpa as a mother karan?"

"where's the chocolate?" shilpa murmured still looking for the already eaten chocolate…

"of course…I mean…she..she is a great mother…wha-what are you doing with your bag shona? Come here.." he tried to distract her…

"chooocccooo" angel did not really like her dadda's plans of distraction…

"haan you too come here…" he took angel and continued…and believe me, I had thought he would say something plastic or fake but what he came up with next, well I don't hate him anymore…for sure.

He said.. "very honestly mani, I think shona..uh shilpa is the best mother on earth… I know I should be saying that for my mother and yeah that's true too… but you know, when I was young, my other was working..she used to leave me and ish- uhm..my brother at home when she had work…I am not complaining about it coz it was completely fine..its still fine but with shilpa, till angel hadn't stated going to play school..shona had not taken up even an ad shoot…and even now when she has some time, I haven't seen one day..one day mani in three years. I haven't seen one day that I get to know that angel was at school waiting for shilpa and she was busy shooting or was out or anything… we have like an army of house helps and drivers and everyone..but shilpa still goes herself to pick angie from school…so..yeah I think is actually the best mother I have seen…probably more so coz I wasn't really expecting this from her…I wasn't" …he looked at shilpa and continued… "I loved you, but I guess I didn't really know how good you actually are…and I love you more for it!"

"oh-kay! That was very sweet! And uhm…how..how's karan as a father, shilpa?" mani turned to her now..

"oh karan is a kid! He's only a protective father when it comes to ordering things to me! Otherwise angel ko toh poora matlab ache se bigaad ke rakha hai!"

"haww! Why's that? Actually when you talk about karan, such behavior is nothing new!" ani teased karan with a smirk…

"nothing new!" karan mimicked her irritated…

" you know, ek baar I had gone out some day, angel was very small then, matlab she couldn't sit or walk…toh karan had come home pretty early and usko aur angel ko chhodke I had gone with sheetal..erm..my friend…and when I returned…angel was crying badly…matlb zor zor se  ro rahi thi…karan was all tensed and all, maine angel ko chup kara ke sulaya and by the time I returned back in the living room mani, karan was crying! And he was crying like a baby!..."

"I wasn't crying like a baby..i was just a little sad…"

"just a little sad! Ask me about it.. he was like, 'shona I am not a good father…I can't even handle a baby…I am not a good husband and now I am not a good father...' pata nhi kya kya bol rha tha and iw as like nahi jana usko bas sona tha na..babies are cranky you know…so yeah sometimes he's really cute…other times, and more often, he's annoying!"

"yeah right!" karan sulked…(cutely)

"and pata hai even when he's angry or something..vo angel ko kuch nhi kehta…kabhi bhi nhi…he will always shout on me…and then I am like 'ab vo counting nhi bol rahi ya nhi pehen rhi tumhare pasand ki dress toh main kya karu!' and he's 'nahi..tum maa ho uski..bolo usko!"

"oh I never said that!" karan shot back..

"acha? What about the time when she didn't like that soup you made? 'itna cha bana hai..khilao usk…shona usko bolo peene ko…' who was saying that?" shilpa said with a tease…

"and pata hai, when I say to scold her, vo kabhi nhi daatega…kbhi bhi nhi data usko aaj tak!"


"toh mera bacha hai hi itna acha!" karan kissed angel's cheek and she chuckled back… "baasssccchhhaaa" angel said something in her alien language..

"the other day, we were in the living room, me and angel and karan andar tha… toh…I think angel khana nhi khaa rhi thi or something I don't remember now…toh main daant rhi thi…and I called him to scold her and usne kuch nhi bola…he's like 'nahi khana usko to koi baat nhi na…kuch aur bana do' and I am like ' karan usko daanto! You're supposed to help me!' to pta hai vo usko daantne ke uhm…instead of scolding her vo merpe hi chadh gya… 'bas daantna hi hai toh khud hi bache paal lo!' he always always does that!"

"toh main kyun daantu mere angel ko…hain na baby" he played with angel who was busy removing his ring from one finger and putting it in the other…

"oh my god!! Acha toh uhm… karan you think you guys have come closer after angel?"

"yeah. I do think so… at least I have started loving her more now…and respecting her more now…" shilpa smiled hearing that…karan loved her yaar…and I think he loved her truly…

"yeah?" mani asked smiling…and I don't know why but I think she was also blushing a little..and that was right…if I was there, I think unko dekhke main bhi blush kar jaati!

"acha one last thing…we have a cake for you!!" mani showed them a small chocolate cake and continued… "this is for your anniversary…"

"awwiiee angel cake! See baby…" shilpa made angel see the cake and in that, angel dropped karan's ring on the floor…shilpa picked it and wore it in her thumb as karan picked a knife to cut the cake..

Trust me, they looked very very cute as a family when they cut the cake together and mani sang a little 'happy wedding anniversary' in the background… I decided I would put a nice romantic song in the background when I edit the video…





"i'll call and tell the driver, woh tuhari car le jaayega...we'll have dinner and then go.." i heard karan saying to shilpa as they were moving out later...



Three hours later:



I was busy on my computer when mani entered the room and asked me what I was doing.. me: "just watching this scene from dmg…they have a nice chemistry…karan and shilpa…"

Mani: "you're saying that? I thought you hated karan…oh my god! Tell me you like him..tell me you like him kritu…I won the bet!!!!!"

Me: "what bet?"

I had totally forgotten about any bet…any challenge…

Mani:"never mind! I am just glad you realized it! Arre pata hai…KaSh heaven completed a lakh threads today…we're celebrating..you wanna see?"



We opened kash heaven and like any other kashians, joined the celebrations…


KRITIKA KASHIAN

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