Wednesday, 26 June 2019

chapter 3 : Deception

He sat in front of her staring at the floor. It had been 10 minutes since he had walked into the room and he still hadn't said a word. He just couldn't understand where to start from. How could talking to a girl he had been interacting with for the past 1 year now be so difficult? It was as if his voice box had suddenly broken. He usually had a million things to ask her and now of all days he had nothing. Absolutely nothing to say. Armaan ever since he was little had always been the talkative one. He always had something or the other to say. There where times when if he had stopped talking for some reason or the other then people would begin to worry. Then what was happening now? Why couldn't he open his mouth and speak.



Dude! What is wrong with me? This is the longest I have ever been silent in my life! I can't believe this! I can't even say one word! Okay this is really sad. This shouldn't be so hard. Come on Armaan. You can do this! Now talk to her!




"Umm...So did you like meeting Muskaan."



There. I did it. I talked to her. But why isn't she saying anything. Man this silent treatment is starting to get irritating.  Come on Riddhima. Answer me! Pleaseee!



"Yeah. She's okay."



"Did..Did..you just answer me?"



"Yeah."



Omg! She talked to me! It's a miracle! There is a god!



"So I'm guessing you two talked a lot?"



"Are you done?"



"What?"



"Can you please leave?"



"Why?"



"Just leave! You're wasting your time."



"But...



"You know where the door is."



He stared at her dumbfounded as she finished speaking. What had gotten into her? She had never spoken to him like that before but then again this was the first time she was saying more then just four words. He had expected her to be a little reserved but he had never thought that she would be reacting in such a hostile way. He had only tired to extend his hand in friendship with the hopes that she would open up to him but it seemed as if that wasn't going to happen. She wasn't going to budge. And so without trying to make things any worse Armaan mumbled a small sorry and got up from his seat and walked out the door.



I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I let myself believe that it would be okay to become her friend. How could I be so stupid? How could I let Rahul and Muskaan get to me? I mean after everything that happened last time I still let myself go down that road. Why? Why do I do this to myself? I promised myself I wouldn't at any cost let myself get sucked into that pain again and yet here I am going down that ******* road all over again! Well I've had it. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. If she wants to be hostile and horrid then she can. I don't care anymore.



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"I can't believe I LISTENED to you!"



Rahul moved the phone away from his ear for the umpteenth time as he heard Armaan scream from the other side. He had been on the phone with him for the past half an hour and all he seemed to be doing was yelling. He had hoped that when Armaan would call him regarding Riddhima that the news would be positive but here he was being given the total opposite.



"I said sorry. What more do you want from me? I was only trying to help."



"...I know. I'm sorry man. It's just that this is so frustrating."



"I know. It's not easy. But you just got to keep trying. And besides this was only your first time. Give it a few days."



"Yeah. I guess your right. I'll give it a few days and see what happens."



"Good. Now get some sleep and let me sleep. I have an early shift tomorrow."



"I will. And thanks man. Good night."



"Good night."



Hanging up the phone Armaan laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes hoping that the next few days would turn things around.

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May 20th 2010



I can't believe I listened to Rahul yet AGAIN! He was so confident with his "Give it a few days." Yeah right! Load of crap! Nothing changed. Absolutely nothing. I don't get what this woman is trying to prove? Does she like torturing me? Is this fun for her? Cause it's sure as hell not! I don't know how much longer I can take of this. I mean it's been 2 weeks and she's still ignoring me like the plague. I mean am I really that bad of a person? Does she not see one ounce of a friend like quality in me? Or am I just a cop to her? I just don't know anymore. I don't know what more I can do for Riddhima. I just don't know anymore. Maybe she really just doesn't want my help. Maybe I should just stop trying. Maybe I should hand over her case to someone else. God. This is so confusing...





Closing his journal shut Armaan got up from his bed and walked towards his balcony and stood outside. It had been exactly 2 weeks and his mission of being Riddhima's friend was still showing no sign of progress. No matter what he did or said to her to gain her trust failed to strike a cord. She remained numb. She acted as if he didn't exist. And this was not only starting to irritate Armaan but he was also beginning to doubt himself. He felt as if maybe he had made a mistake by taking up Riddhima's case. He felt as if maybe he wasn't the right person to help her. After all it had been more then a year now and he still wasn't getting anywhere with her. Maybe it was time to give it up. Maybe it was time to move on. Maybe she was better off without him.  Armaan looked up at the navy blue sky above him and looked at the twinkling stars above him hoping to get an answer. Ever since he could remember anytime he had been in a situation when he couldn't understand what to do he would always look up into the sky and somehow he always ended up getting an answer. He didn't know how or who was helping him out but what he did know was that for some strange reason it always worked.



Okay. I need your help again whoever you are. I don't know what to do anymore. I just can't get through to her. I feel so lost. I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I feel so helpless. What should I do? Please help me.

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Rahul stared at Armaan shocked out of his wits as he finished hearing him speak. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This couldn't be true. His best friend was not about to let Riddhima die. No. This was a lie. Armaan was playing a prank. He would never do such a thing. He was a cop after all. It was his job to protect people. Then why would he all of a sudden deem it right to end someone's life. It just didn't make any sense.



"Have you LOST IT!"



"No. I haven't lost it. I've just had enough."



"I can't believe...I can't believe I'm even listening to you. I mean this is not you. This is so not you! You are not Armaan Mallik. You can't be. I don't know you. Because the Armaan I know that I grew up with would never do such a thing. He would never let anyone's life go in vain. And yet here I am sitting infront of my best friend who I thought I knew say that he wants a woman to end her life. I can't do this. I can't sit here and let you tell me that you want her to die all because you are giving up. I'm sorry Armaan to have to say this but...You are the biggest coward I have ever met."



"Fine. I'm a coward. I admit it. But you put yourself into my shoes and then talk. You don't know what it's like to be stuck in a dead end for an entire year. You don't know what it's like being ignored and being treated as if you don't exist. You don't know what it's like to have the feeling that you are giving it your best and yet failing. You don't know!"



"Oh really. I don't know. I don't know how it feels. Try being a 24 year old intern who is told by the nurse on duty that his own father has just been brought into emergency because he's having a heart attack. Try being that 24 year old intern who is freaking out inside doesn't know what to do and yet is told that he is the only one on duty at the moment and now has to operate on his own father. Try being that 24 year old intern who despite is trembling with fear has to suck it up and give it his best to save his own father's life because that's his job. He's a doctor he doesn't see who the person is all he knows is that he has to save a life. Try being that 24 year old intern who comes out 2 hours later only to have to tell his own mother that he almost failed. That he was one second from losing his own father. I was that 24 year old intern Armaan and you know that. If I had given up I would have lost my own father and I would have never been able to show my face to anyone. I would have been blamed for my own father's death. My own mother would have disowned me. And you are telling me that I don't know what it feels like. You know what you are one sad little man. And I can't believe I'm even friends with a selfish person like you who only is thinking about himself right now."



And with that Rahul got up from the couch and walked out of his office door leaving a guilty Armaan behind.

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"But what was I supposed to do? He was talking crap!"



After leaving his office upset at his best friend. Rahul had decided to get some fresh air to clear his mind. And so he had called Muskaan to tell her what had happened.He knew he had been a little harsh but Armaan needed a reality check. He had tired to keep his cool but as he had continued to hear Armaan talk his tolerance level had finally broken and he had popped. He needed to know that he was making a major mistake and so Rahul had given him a piece of his mind.



"I know Rahul. I understand. But there are other ways of telling people things. You didn't have to sound off on him."



"Yeah. I guess you're right. I'll go apologize to him."



"Good. That's what I like to hear. I'll talk to you later. Okay. Bye. I Love You."



"I love you too. Bye."



As the dial tone rang into his ears Rahul hung up his phone and taking a deep breath went back inside to find his best friend.

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Armaan sat motionless in his spot as Rahul's words still rung in his ears. It was true. He was trying to run away from helping her all because he was frustrated and wanted to give up. He was trying to make his life easier by ending hers. What kind of a person did that? How could he be so selfish? He had promised this woman that he was going to do anything in his power to save her and here he was giving up on her just because he had failed.  Rahul was right. This wasn't him. This wasn't Armaan Mallik.



I can't believe myself. I feel like an idiot! God. I hate myself right now. I can't believe I even let the thought of ending her life come into my mind. What is wrong with me? If Rahul hadn't just opened my eyes I probably would have... No. I'm not going to give up. I can't. I'm going to help Riddhima no matter what. I'm not going to give up.



The sudden sound of a door opening brought Armaan out of this thoughts. He looked up only to see the man who had just opened his eyes and stopped him from making a big mistake.



"I'm so sorry man. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."



"No. It's okay man. I really needed that. Thanks Rahul. I don't know what I would do without you."



"So you forgive me?"



"Of course I do."



"Thanks."



"Coffee?"



"Sure. I could use one."

Thank god. I just hope now that everything works out. Please god help Armaan. He needs it.


Tashu

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