Friday, 21 June 2019

last part : Come Back to Me

They drove back in silence .A silence which spoke volumes despite being so still. Armaan hadn't objected when Riddhima had parted away from the hug and stood up. She held out her hand for him. He took hold of it immediately and got up.



Silently he had followed her out to the car and hadn't uttered a word as they drove off. The silence wasn't killing. It was welcoming.  Riddhima felt extremely light hearted after so many months. She had finally let go of her guilt .The guilt that had been killing her, the guilt of feeling partly responsible for their relationship gone astray. She glanced at Armaan as she steered the wheel. His head touched the glass window as he leaned on it for support, looking out mindlessly. She knew he wasn't really looking out. The way he broke down in front of her today, told her he still loved her had melted her completely. How couldn't she forgive him afterall??? They both had been at fault and he had already suffered much more then his share. Then what was it that was holding her back???




Why couldn't she reciprocate his "I Love you" with the same words back again?? Why was his physical proximity so tantalizing?? As she glanced at him again she felt remorse. The fact was she felt guilty. What if she messed it up again?? What if their relationship failed again?? No she couldn't take one more blow. But this definitely needed an end; they both needed a closure she thought.



Armaan stared at the passing vehicles over taking them listlessly. True he had poured out her heart to her, begged her to forgive him but as he had expected she didn't. She didn't forgive him, but then the crime he had committed was beyond pardon, if God wouldn't forgive him how could Riddhima forgive him???



As they steered into her driveway Riddhima's cell rang.



"Hello??"



"Yea Rahul" Armaan topped in midway as he opened the door to get out.



"Yes, Armaan is fine, yea'." Riddhima looked at him distracted as Armaan signaled her to be quite.



"Huh? No Rahul nothing, am here, ok listen Armaan is fine, I'll call you back. No don't apologize Rahul he is fine, yea goodnight"



"Armaan what is it?" Riddhima looked at him confused as she pulled out the keys from the ignition.



"No I signaled you to bee quite, meaning not to tell Rahul that you found me there'..and like I was'he would simply worry'" his voice trailed as he spoke in a soft gentle tone.





"Don't worry, I wont say anything" she replied back softly and smiled as she got out.



As they entered the house Riddhima felt a sense of completeness, she didn't know why but being with Armaan , having him beside her felt just great. Armaan on the hand felt empty, void. Riddhima was just being too polite, too sweet to him. But ultimately tomorrow she might want him to move out now that she knew he was getting better. The thought itself made his heart stop. He walked in quietly with her as she switched on the lights.



"Armaan aren't you hungry??" Riddhima looked at him surprised as he made his way inside to their room.



"Huh no'.am not hungry" he mumbled.



"Armaan come on, eat something. You haven't had anything since morning"





"Oh ok if you insist" Armaan responded confused. Why the hell was she creating such a show of taking care of him?



"Armaan come on I'll make something why don't you freshen up?" she asked cautiously. Seeing him nod she heaved a sigh of relief. Well if they couldn't set things back to normal atleast she could get him out of his soppy mood. She couldn't bear him to see like this.



*********************************************



Riddhima sighed and tossed over to her side as she opened her eyes unable to sleep. Glancing at the wall clock she saw it was way past midnight. She glanced down and saw his silhouette turned over to his other side, not facing her on the floor in the moonlight. She knew he wouldn't be sleeping either. After their quite dinner, he had retired to their room and not even wished her goodnight as she called out to him. She knew he was ashamed, far too ashamed to show her his face now. But was this the solution?? This was killing him as much as it was killing her.





"Armaan?" she softly called out.



"Yea?" came the prompt reply.



"Turn to my side please?" she whispered.



He turned to face her giving a small sigh.



"Armaan what's wrong? You said that you couldn't ever sleep without looking at my face and now''" Riddhima mumbled, she didn't know what made her say that, but deep down she knew if not now then it might perhaps be never.



Armaan smiled to himself in the darkness and replied.



"Riddhima I don't think I am worthy enough to even look at your face that way'.I am'.I am sorry'" he sighed.



"Armaan ''."



"Riddhima I think we should leave this for tonight. We both need to give this some rest and ''" he paused not knowing how to continue.



"Ok Armaan'..I understand. Good night" Riddhima muttered turning to her side.



This was what she wanted right? That he left her alone, that he would walk out from her life for once and for all? Then why she walking back?? why did it leave her feeling empty???



Glancing back she saw him lying still. Could she give this other chance to them? To him? To herself??



**************************************************



Riddhima entered the main hall hearing the soft notes fill the air. She had been up early and had gone been out trimming the lawn. They hadn't spoken much since he got up. Hearing the soft notes coming from her own grand piano she walked in quickly to see him playing gently humming to himself. That piano had been her mother's prized possession and Riddhima never allowed herself to be parted from it. Seeing him sing she stepped closer.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=s-ql6YC0gJM
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know that you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?



Riddhima stood behind him as he sang in sync with the notes that he strung on the white and black keys. He paused turning behind to glance at her. Holding out his hand he made her sit besides him on the seat as she thrust her hand in his. Looking at her he continued.



If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance main my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this **much** is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?



He finished as he gazed down and gently took her hands in his kissing them gently.



"Armaan'..wh........what was this???"



"Riddhima I know you wont ever forgive me, but'..but Ridz I can't live without you, see if you want I'll stay here, as your doormat if you want but please don't walk away from me now'..Riddhima last night I thought about it. I mean now that you know am getting better perhaps you will ask me to me to move out, and like Riddhima''.."





He stopped as she placed her fingers over his lips.



"Armaan how can you think that way .We both know this that I wasn't just curing you, I was healing myself, it was like an ointment for both of us, us relationship'' unknowingly, and we both needed this and parting ways now ''.." Riddhima pause taking her hand away from his face and looked away. Fact was she didn't know what to do. What did she want? She so wanted to start this all over again, give him''''..another chance? But she was afraid''



"Riddhima?" he called out softly and turned her face to face his.



"So you mean you are willing to give us another chance'.you are ready to take me back?" he whispered.



"Armaan I'''''I don't know'.Ar'..Armaan I feel scared. We both know that you will be the only man I ever loved, the only man I can ever call my own............ my own, but Armaan I am scared, what if??? What if I fail? We fail once again? I won't be able to cope up all over again. This one time broke me, what if I fail you again?' she whispered gazing into his eyes.



"Riddhima I am scared too''but"





"Armaan I don't ant to live that phase all over again. Being your arm candy, your live-in muse .Armaan I want to be your equal half, not an object to be flaunted and kept in one corner of the room. I want''''''."





"Marry me?" Riddhima stopped with a sharp intake of breath as the words hit her.



He got up from the seat and went around , going down on his knees he held out his hand and whispered.



"Marry me Riddhima, you will be my equal half, much more then that Riddhima, you will be my life, please Riddhima? We both are scared of failing each other and that's what assures me that we won't ever fail each other. I can't dream of a life without you. Please Riddhima forgive me, give us another chance, please just come back to me?"



"Armaan'.." Riddhima's lips quivered as she glanced at his hand held out waiting for her. Oh how she had been waiting for this moment when he would pop the question!! But now''..Riddhima stopped her thoughts and thrust her hand in his and whispered.



"I will" she smiled as he kissed her hands gently and spoke.



"Thankyou Riddhima" he gazed up to meet her stare and got up. Feeling his arms around her Riddhima hugged him back .Hearing him whisper in her ears.



"I love you Riddhima" she smiled. She knew this was where she belonged. She knew she was glad to come back to him.



"I love you too Armaan" she whispered back feeling his arms tighten around her. Armaan felt a rush of emotions as he heard her reciprocate his love. He knew he would never let go of her ever again, his love had come back to him and he intended never to let go of it ever again...........



***********************************************



Tightening the silken belt of her night gown around her waist, Riddhima couldn't help but smile at the reflection of the woman in the mirror. She could barely make out the bright eyed woman staring back at her. Her eyes were sparkling bright, her cheeks still flushed...... bore the effects of having been subjected to blush and rouge a few hours ago. But it was the shimmer of the solitaire flashing from her finger that caught her attention. Bringing her hand to her face she gazed at it and touched it delicately.



She couldn't believe she was married. Yes she was married she thought. Armaan and she were now legally a man and a wife from today. Just two weeks ago Armaan had proposed her and now later this week they had finally tied the knot. They had decided to give each other time after the proposal to still reflect whether they were ready to give their relationship the official tag. Rather it had been Armaan who had asked her to take her time and still re think rather then rushing into the marriage. Two weeks later Riddhima had finally taken the decision, and Armaan had never been surer then this, he had been the one who was firm about his intentions to marry her.



And finally they were married now. It had been a quite affair. A civil ceremony with a few close friends followed by a quite lunch and high tea''.there after they had taken their leave and had gone ahead to a very private dinner, with just the two of them.



It was late as they finally reached back home, her home rather. Armaan insisted that they should start this new phase of their lives from the very place that gave them a new lease to life.



Fingering the diamonds on the glittering gold ring Riddhima felt a wave of completeness, a blissful feeling surge through her. Now back home after their quite dinner Armaan suggested that they settle down and bring in their first night of togetherness leisurely. It wasn't the physical aspect Riddhima knew, as he had now changed so very much. Not once in the two weeks they spent together had he tried even once to close on the distance between them. He didn't try to get intimate and maintained his conscious distance from her. Besides this, his warm gestures, the sense of security, the feeling of completeness he gave her had made her fall in love with him far more deeply then ever.



Sighing she consciously smoothed her gown and made her way out. He had suggested they watch a film together, just sit there, and feel the essence being together.



"Armaan" she called out softly coming out.



"Honey your done? Come along, I have already set things up.



He sat sprawled on the leather couch, a half-magnum of chilled champagne rested in an ice-bucket, there was a packet of crisps waiting to be opened, the lights were dimmed, and the television screen was running previews prior to the main movie. Armaan patted the space beside him and extended a hand. His eyes were dark and his mouth curved into a sensual smile.





"Come here."





"What exactly are we celebrating?" she teased.



He caught hold of her hand and pulled her down to him. He leaned forward, eased the cork from the bottle, then poured the contents into two flutes and handed her one.





"The fact that I got married." He chuckled.





Pulling her close Riddhima held her breath as she felt his warmth so tantalizingly close to hers. Gazing deep into his eyes, Riddhima felt liquid fire coursed through her veins, awakening each separate sensory nerve-end until her body became one pulsing ache in anticipation of his touch.





Tearing her gaze away from his she looked straight ahead at the technicolor images that began to unfold as the movie began.





Riddhima consciously felt aware aware of the shift in Armaan's frame as he draped an arm along the back of the couch bare inches above her shoulders as she sipped the contents in her glass slowly.



A few minutes later she was aware of his fingers playing idly with her hair, as he leaned close and nuzzled her earlobe, then began pressing light kisses along the edge of her neck. When he savored the sensitive hollow at its base, she tuned to face him. He stopped as she tuned her head to meet his gaze.





"Armaan'." She began only to be silenced by his finger placed gently on her lips.





"Sweetheart, I am sorry, I just got''''..leave it. We wont do anything you don't want to do, anything that you aren't sure of, we wont do. I am sorry''..for me just us being together is'." He paused running his fingers through his hair.





"Armaan''" placing her hand gently on his cheek she moved forward and kissed him lightly.





"Armaan I have never surer then this!" she whispered.





"Are you sure Riddhima? I don't want to force you ever again'.." he stopped feeling her lips on his and gave in after a slight hesitation. The embrace of his lips was unlike anything she had ever experienced. His tongue gently pushed its way between her teeth and explored the sweetness of her mouth . Her body shuddered as warm swells of excitement began to course through her frame as she felt his hands tenderly caressing her body.



As the night dawned the fires of passion consumed them and a blissful sense of fulfillment descended warmed by the perfect union of their souls.





*********************************





"Ridz am so happy for you. Have fun, I'll put the phone down or Armaan will definitely groan again"



Riddhima giggled as she heard Muskaan teasing her. It had been two weeks since she got married to Armaan in a quite ceremony in the court and then a small dinner t her place with their close friends. Rahul and Muskaan had been a brick and had even gifted them a week long honeymoon to New Zealand. Riddhima smiled as she recollected how things had finally fallen into their place. This was something she had only dreamt of''and now it had come true because of Armaan. She smiled to herself as she stretched on the bed pulling the rug closer to her.



 "What makes my sweetheart smile so beautifully at this time of the night? How come you never give me that smile" she peeked up to see him coming out of the washroom as he climbed the bed and lay down beside her.



"Nothing Armaan, I was just wondering if this is still a dream? I mean''." She stopped feeling his lips on her cheek.



"Now do you believe me its not a dream?" he drawled softly in her ears.



"Armaan'." She smacked his shoulder playfully.



"What? Wait you still think if this is a dream then let me prove that it isn't'." he added naughtily.



"Armaan '.." Riddhima looked at him tenderly as he smiled at her.



"Seeing you like this, happy and full of life really fills me with happiness'.." she whispered placing her hand on his cheek.



"Hmm and it's all because of you" he replied leaning forward as he captured her lips softly with his in a tender kiss and she yielded back with consuming tenderness. Riddhima felt herself caressed by Armaan's firm commanding lips, held in the tender captive in the embrace of his arms as embraced and explored each other and savored the flavor of their consummate passion.



******************************************



"Congratulations guys" Rahul hugged them both grinning.



"So Riddhima is expecting twins huh?" he teased them as Riddhima blushed feeling Armaan's hand around her waist holding her, nodding.



She had been over the moon ever since she came to know she was pregnant a month later after they came back from their honeymoon. Life hadn't been more perfect then this. Armaan would take up only one project at a time, so that he could be with Riddhima, give her all the time he wanted to devote to her and they had recently shifted to their new home, which Armaan had bought in the city itself and legally put it on Riddhima's name . Riddhima continued working but mostly stuck to Rahul's company as he was a part of their family almost. Armaan wanted them to have a child in their first year itself and now that she was expecting twins, he was contemplating on taking a leave for the next nine months.



"Rahul .......but please explain Armaan, he can't sit home for entire nine months" she whined glaring at him as they made their way to the parking lot.



"No ridz I have to care you know'.."



"Armaan it's me who is pregnant not you''.." she cut him in between and Rahul snickered hearing their argument.



"But Riddhima'."



"Ok ok cut it. Armaan you can finish off the project your currently working on and then take a break" Rahul  interfered.



"Yea atleast that is fine, Armaan you cannot sit on my head for nine whole months'.." Riddhima stuck out her tongue as they got into their car.



"As you command my highness" he murmured as he tugged her elbow pulling her close. Placing a soft quick kiss on her lips he smiled as she looked at him surprised.



"What was that for?" she asked



"For loving me sweetheart, for being there with me, for coming back to me"



********************************

jia

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