Wednesday, 19 June 2019

part 18: Come Back to Me


"Rahul how could you" Riddhima whispered feeling her legs go watery.



"I am sorry Ridz, I mean we just got to know Muskaan is pregnant and I was so happy…..and like I didn't say that exactly. It was him who started. He was like Wow, and all, how I wish my child were here. And I felt bad, I held his hand and just spoke yea, its ok though he would have been a year old by now……and…"



'Rahul he was just recovering and you….." Riddhima cried feeling tears in her eyes. If those haunting memories hurt her so much, she wondered what effect they would have on Armaan in his delicate mental state. Where was she to search him??





"Riddhima believe me it was not intentional. I was too thrilled and didn't know what just came out of my mouth. I …….I am so sorry. I'll help you search him….he couldn't have gone far like…."


"I'll search him my self now. You have already done enough for today" Riddhima cut the call and ran out grabbing her purse.



As she drove out through the winding lanes of her colony she couldn't help but feel tears in her eyes. Where would he be? In what state would he be in? Riddhima knew deep down try as she could she couldn't help feeling concerned and worried. All her resolutions to stay away from him, to keep him out of her life were failing her. Past two days especially she had realized that he had been, was and will always remain an inseparable part of her life.



Wiping her tears she recalled the events of today morning how he had refused to leave her and go see Rahul; now how she wished she hadn't forced him.



************************************************


~Flashback~


"Riddhima are you serious?" she glanced up from her plate and smiled nodding as he sat down beside her pulling out a chair. He had as usual had the breakfast ready before she got up and now that she had been ill he wouldn't even allow her to touch a glass.



"Yes Armaan I am serious. I really want you to start on with your career all over again. And Rahul is already offering you a contract. So why don't you go see him?"



"Ummm are you sure?" he looked at her doubtfully.



"Armaan I wouldn't have more sure then this, go ahead, atleast go see him, then you can decide." She smiled and placed her hand over his as he frowned.


"Ok I will since you are coaxing me to, but only after your fit enough. I am not going anywhere with you in this state, you get better. Then we both will go and see him ok" he stated in a matter of fact tone.


"No Armaan. Rahul wanted to speed this contract up as it's really important for his company. I am fine, feeling much better. Go ahead and see him today. I'll take care…"



"Today??? Are you out of your mind? You just fainted Riddhima two days ago, I'll remind you incase you have forgotten" he folded his arms across his chest disapprovingly.


"Armaan believe I am fine….promise I'll be fine. Just go and meet him. It's just a couple of hours…."


"Riddhima I can't….what if something….."



"No nothing will happen…..I'll take care…Armaan please…." She squeezed his hand gently.


Giving a small smile he nodded.



"Fine if it pleases you I will…..but I'll stay exactly for an hour maximum. I can't afford to leave you alone and unwell for a longer time….and you have to promise you will take care, eat up the lunch, take your tablets and then not put a foot down from the bed till I get back or….."



"I promise…." She softly muttered and he smiled and kissed her hand gently. Riddhima didn't pull back her hand this time, she knew his persona was growing on her all over again, but she just couldn't help allow it to grow. His simple physical gestures warmed her now compared to how earlier even a slightest touch made her flinch.


"Ok I'll get back soon"



~Flashback ends~

****************************************



Why??? Why did she insist and push him to meet Rahul? Why?? Why did things go wrong when she just tried setting them right? Riddhima felt her head ache as she recalled how with great difficulty she had convinced herself to send him, to coax him to build his career again, how she had convinced herself to be unselfish for his sake. How she so wanted things to remain the way they are. He had changed so much, the way he hovered around her, taking care of her, loving her. How he hadn't  touched her once ever since she had asked him to stay away. How he stuck around and tolerated all her tantrums, her temper when she would snap back hurtfully. God she still loved him…….



Riddhima had reached the main city by now….she gazed around wondering how was; she to locate him. His cell was switched off and she couldn't think of any likely place he would go and that too in that tender state of mind.



Yes she thought going back to her thoughts. She still loved him. He was the only one she ever loved and would always. He tore her apart and shattered her, yet it was him who tried knitting her up even with his mentally weak state. He tried healing her in his own way. The world saw that she was the one healing him, bringing him out of his mental illness but deep down Riddhima knew it was cure for them both. Healing him she was healing herself too.


But now all would shatter once again. She knew how touchy he was on the entire child issue. Even a slight reminder of what he had lost would trigger and make him dangerously imbalanced to himself.



She remembered how he kept mumbling I lost my child….I killed it…when she first saw him at his place…..HIS PLACE!!!

Riddhima stepped up the gas pedal as she finally thought of a possibility of where he might be. Afterall it was that place, their former home where they had gained and lost everything.


Riddhima quickly jumped down on the driveway killing the engine. Cautiously she gazed around. It was getting dark as the sun set. Looking around she found the place in the same state she had seen a few days ago. For a split second she found herself shivering with nervousness and fright. What if………………????



No!! She immediately discarded these thoughts Armaan would be the last person on this earth to hurt her. He would never ever do anything even in his imbalanced state. But he had…..he had hurt her before, why wouldn't he…..? Riddhima enough she frowned to herself, she knew he wouldn't ever hurt her ever again.


Throwing away all inhibitions she quietly made her way towards the made door. To her immense surprise she found it open……..Riddhima stopped. Ok she hadn't thought. What if there was no Armaan in here at all……..she should have called Rahul here instead of trying to act all smart and arrive here all alone.



It was getting darker by the minute. She felt as though she were stepping on fire as she took a step inside breathing deeply. Only if it were Armaan, she was fine. She could handle. But……ok but how would someone or why would some break into a locked up house…….Gosh Ridz you are so silly she thought. Was that even a question?? It was a fact it could be anyone…….


Suddenly she noticed something on the floor…..in the faint light streaming through the door she noticed the object and its dark long shadow. Bending down she picked it and realized. It was Armaan's. Riddhima almost smiled. That meant he was here, she thought heaving a sigh a relief. It was a small little wallet he carried everywhere along with him. Opening it eyes her smiled widened even more as she found her small snap in there. It was so like him. Feeling much more confident she walked in softly. He didn't seem to anywhere.


Climbing up she made her way to his room, their room as he called. The door was open. Taking a deep breath she stepped in.


He was there.

jia

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