Sunday, 23 June 2019

Part 7: The Green Blue Hues (AR ff)

Two days later.



Armaan: My God, it was a social disaster…Mom, please don't ever try fixing me up with someone…I just can not handle another girl like her for even a minute, let alone two complete hours…!!


Atul, Padma and Divya burst into laughter. They had been listening to Armaan rambling on how pathetic and bad the setup-date had been and they were enjoying every minute of it. He looked so cute whenever he rambled. Right now, they were sitting in Armaan's room, Padma was sitting on the bed, giving Atul a head massage, who was sitting on the floor, and Divya was sorting out Armaan's wardrobe, while Armaan himself was pacing the room to and fro.




Padma: acha baba…itna ghussa matt ho…nahi milwati kisi aur larki se…khush?? (looking up)



Armaan: nahi nahi…ap log to hans le na pehle….itna barra torture tha uss larki ke saath do ghante guzarna…Ap log soch bhi nahi sakte maine who time kese guzara…



Padma: (frowning) Armaan!! Kisi bhi larki ke barray main aissa nahi kehte…tujhe pasand nai ayi iska matlab yeh nahi ke who larki buri hai…always remember, larkio ko izzat…



Armaan and Atul: (in unison) larkion ko izzat do ge to who tumhain apni izzat deingi…(both start laughing)



Armaan: haina Mom?? Wah…kia baatain sikhati hain ap apne bachon ko…



Padma: (twists Atul's ears) Badmasho!! Mazak kerte ho huh?? Main keh rahi thi ke larkion ko izzat do ge to who tumhari izzat kereingi…



Divya: (turns around) rehne do Mom….in ko kia samjha rhai ho ap?? Yeh donon to hain hi pagal…aur khaas ker key eh Armaan…jabse London gaya hai na, iske to tewar hi badal gaye hain….



Armaan: (folds his arms) arey…ab main ne kia kiya??



Divya: kyun?? Pehle to inhi larkion ke peeche ghumta rehta hai…ab tujhe koi larki pasand hi nahi ati…?



Atul: haan Armaan..D sahee keh rahi hai…kahiin tune wahan koi larki to nai phansa li?? (winks at him)



Armaan kicks him on the shins



Armaan: sallay…baqwas na kar….(looks at Padma who glares at him) sorry Mumma…I mean, tum log jante ho yaar meri life main koi larki nahi hai…



Padma: agar aissa hai Armaan to tu shadi ke naam se itna bhaag kyun raha hai…problem kia hai tujhe??



Armaan: problem nahi hai Mumma par shadii??? (makes a face)



Divya: kyun?? Shadi main kia problem hai?? Sabki hoti hai…tujhe bhi kerni hai aik din…



Armaan: haan kerni hai par I want that when I get married, I get married to the right person…jese ap aur jeeju ho…Mumma aur Dad hain….main jaldbazi main koi ghalat qadam nahi uthana chahta…



Padma: haan to hum kab keh rahay hain ke aj larki se milo aur kal shadi ker lo?? Take your time na….bass bata to do ke shadi kerni kab hai…



Armaan: (fully irritated by now) Mumma..mujhe shadi hi nahi kerni hai…that's it…



All three: LEKIN KYUN????



Armaan: YAAR!! Tum logon ko meri baat samajh kyun nahi arahi hai???



Divya comes and stands in front of him



Divya: acha bata…kesi larki chahiye tujhe?? What kind of girl would be 'the right person' according to you??



Armaan: (starts thinking) hmmmm…well…aissi larki jo mujhe samjhay, meri harr baat ko question na karay, she should give me my space…meri kuch baatain hain jo ussay manani hongi, unke ilawa who jo chahay gi jese chahay gi mein usse dunga…she would be entirely my responsibility….i want  a girl jiss ko mein trust ker sakoon, jo mujhe understand ker skaay, mujhe ussay harr choti choti baat samjhani na parray…aur bhi bohat kuch hai D….main apko kia kia bataun??



Divya: hmmmm…well iss main kia problem hai?? Yeh khubian to tujhe kisi bhi larki main mill jayengi! Thora time lagay ga tujhe uske saath adjust hone mein, lekin larki to mill jayegi…



Padma: haan Armaan…Divya theek keh rahi hai….larkian to bohat hai, tu khud hi nahi milna chahta kisi se to…



Armaan: mama…main apko kese samjhaun…(takes a deep breath) see…shadi is a big thing…its like a decision of a life-time…you can either make it or break it…and I want to make it till the end…



Atul: Armaan…tujhe sach bataun…mujhe lag raha hai tu sirf bahanay dhund raha hai shadi se bhagne ke liye….teri kisi bhi baat main koi logic hi nahi hai….



Armaan: (kicks him) chal be logic ke bachay…main kyun shadi se bhagun ga??



Divya: kyunki shayed tu kisi ko pasand kerta haii aur humain batana nahi chahta??



Armaan looks at him with scrutinized eyes



Armaan: main kisi ko pasand kerta hunga to why would I hide it??



Padma: ab yeh to tum hi janno…lekin hum sab ko yehi lagta hai ke u like someone and that's why you don't want to get married….



Armaan: what rubbish!!! Main ap ko khud bata deta if I liked someone....main apko sab kuch batata hun Mama….(pouting)



Padma: well..(rolls her eyes) sab kuch to nahi batatay…



Armaan: what do you mean??



Divya goes and sits next to Padma



Divya: well lets see….you didn't tell us you lived with Riddhima in London…



Armaan makes a face at their meaningful looks, thinking, Not AGAIN!!!



Padma: aur tu ne humain yeh bhi nai bataya ke tum donon itnaaaayyyyy achay dost ho ke din mein teen teen baar phone per baat kerte ho…



Atul: aur tu ne to yeh bhi nahi bataya mujhe ke you broke up with Ryna…(whispers to him) because of Riddhima…



Armaan rolls his eyes



Armaan: guys!! Yeh meri harr baat mai Riddhima ko ap log kyun le atay ho??



Divya: kyunki teri harr baat main Riddhima hi hai bachu…



Armaan puts his hand in his hair and sighs. What would it take to explain these people that they were just plain old FRIENDS.



Padma: acha kher who to tu chor….bata ab aggay kia karrna hai…



Armaan: (totally exasperated and irritated from the shadi talk) karna kia hai..?? Kuch nai karna…



Divya: kyun nahi karna?? Larkion se milna hai, aur kia….



Armaan: (shocked face) NO WAY!! No more larkian…main ap sab ko for the last time bata raha hun, mujhe shadi nahi kerni..



Padma: Kyun??



Divya: Kyun???



Atul: lekin KYUN???



Armaan is by now so fully irritated that he blurts out whatever lie comes into his mind without thinking about the after effects. He just wanted this whole shadi issue to get over with, because that was all they had been talking about since he had come to India. Whether it was Padma or Divya, or Dadi and Dad, or his younger sister and cousins, all they talked about was his shadi. So now, being fully irritated by it all, he says what he thinks would save him from all the further nagging.



Armaan: (shouts out loud) KYUNKI MAIN SHADDI KER CHUKA HUN!!!



There is pin drop silence followed by his outburst. All three are looking at him in shock.



Armaan: (thinking) Shit!! Did I just say I am married?? What the hell!! Yeh maine kia keh dia…ab aik aur azaab mere sarr per annay wala hai….(looking at everyone) hahahha…look at everyone's faces….i want to laugh…no no no Armaan…don't laugh…look serious…wese idea burra nahi tha….they would think I am married and just ignore the issue….at least mujhe iss shadi ke azaab se to chutkara millega…wah wah Armaan, kia damage chalaya hai…(pats himself on the back in his imagination) thank you God-ji, mujhe iss problem se bachanay ke liye…I owe you one…!! (smiling stupidly)



Padma: (stands up) Armaan! Yeh tu kia keh raha hai…tu shadi ker chukka hai??? (in full shock and anger)



Armaan: umm…uh…uh haan…haan Mama…main…main shadi ker chukka hun…(extremely confused)



Padma: lekin kiss se?? kab?? Kahan…aur kyun?? Itna chup chup ke bina bataye….kuch bataya nahi kuch idea takk nahi dia…yeh kahan ka tariqa hai??



Divya: exactly Armaan....yeh kia tariqa hua…aur kaun hai wo larki??



Armaan: (thinking) Oh no!! Ab main kia kahun…larki kaun hai?? Mujhe to kuch nai pata ab kia bolna hai, Armaan beta, tu to gaya….ab kia bolooooooon….help Bhagvanji…



Just then his thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his cell-phone. Thanking God, he took out his cell phone from his pocket and saw the name flashing: Ragz.



He picked up the phone, murmured a quick I will call you back and put it down. Padma and Divya were glaring at him.



Padma: haan to bata…kiss se shadi ki hai tu ne?



Armaan: Mama who….ummm…(doesn't know what to say)



Divya: ab chuppa kyun raha hai?? Bata na…kaun hai who larki…



Armaan: ummm who…ummm….(thinking: kaun hai?? Kiss ka naam loo?? Arey iss main mera kia jata hai, kisi bhi larki ka naam le leta hun…inhon ne barra koi milna hai…kuch arsay baad keh dunga ke separation ho gai…aur phir sach batab dunga…whats the big deal…hmmm par kiss ka naam bataun



Just then his cell again rings. Riddhima calling…(thinking: arey haan..Ragz hai na,..uska naam le leta hun…uss tarah unhain shaq bhi nahi hoga, pehle hi unahin lagta hai umare beech mein kuch hai…Armaan u r a genius man!!)



Padma: Armaan bata bhi…



Armaan: (blurts out in a hurry) Riddhima…..Riddhi..Riddhima….maine Riddhima se shadi ker li hai…(grins stupidly)



His outburst his followed by a grave silence and i-told-you-so looks. He sighs.



 kiran

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