Monday, 10 June 2019

part 9: Come Back to Me

How I wish I had taken control over everything Riddhima he thought.
You kept supporting me and never lost hope and I.....I pushed you to the wall.You had so much of trust in me and I......
Armaan felt tears brimming in his own eyes....he had been awake the whole night and tired though his eyes looked they refused to close...
It was as if he just couldn't close them...seeing the sight beside him.

"Will you ever trust me again as you did?" he whispered looking at her.
"You trusted me the most naa....I wish I could build up the same trust all over again" Armaan spoke softly as he recollected the immense trust that she had always shown in him....
He smiled as he remembered her telling him later what exactly her reactions were after he left that night leaving an awkward silence.........

***************************

Flashback 


She sat on the bed...dazed ..... the entire events of the evening came flashing back. He loves me.....the passion in his eyes....the way he held her...he must have felt it too she guessed but then what now. He backed away so abruptly....knowing very well I was way too lost in him to think, he could have easily just.....he obviously knew she had no control and that moment she would have just responded fueling his passion....then why this backoff? He knew I was in no control of myself.....still...as she kept going over this it dawned....he had backed off....for her. He knew she wasn't going to stop him but he didn't want to take an advantage.


Her love touched new heights suddenly as she connected all pieces together right from the moment he stood up. The guilt, the sober look, the slight regret, his sorry, the kiss on the forehead and then again his humble apology which had left her baffled now made sense to her.


Lying back on the flattened pillow she pulled up the covers smiling to herself.


"I love you Armaan" she whispered through the darkness.


****************************


As she had expected, he was there ....today too...........wearing a white Tee with casual jeans and glares on. He looked amazingly handsome even dressed as casual as possible and Riddhima blushed as she found herself noticing his features more closely than ever today as she walked up to the car. They sat down and he merely just looked at her welcoming her with a lame "Hello sweetheart"


They drove in silence ...........an awkward one as Armaan was still living and turning over last night's events again in his mind. He thought he couldn't even meet her gaze now. As he parked the car in the parking lot, he turned to see her staring at him as she suddenly placed her hand on his cheek gently.


"Armaan" she spoke softly. "You don't need to be sorry for anything ok?"


Saying so, she gently kissed his cheek catching him by surprise and whispered........"I love you".


He smiled as she got out quickly and mouthed "I love you too baby".


**********************************


Riddhima sat back with a sigh closing her eyes feeling the cool air on her face as he smiled looking at her. She smiled back as she felt her hand move on the gear under his as he changed it.


It had been over two weeks since she had told him she loved him and life had never been more pleasant. Infact she now came to actually realize what he was in her life. He breathed life in her. His each gesture be it small lit up herself and he managed to make her fall for him each moment by being just himself without putting any extra effort in doing so. They had been the best ever moments of her life with him by her side. His mere presence made her smile.


And now, they were off to Seattle.........on the outskirts of Chicago. Their earlier presentation and work on the assigned project had impressed the professors to a great extent and it had actually been forwarded to the associating company and they were off to present their skills there as a part of their project. Both had looked at each pleased as Prof. John had informed them about their two day trip they had to take for the cause. Armaan felt like jumping with glee with the very thought of being all alone with her without any interference and have her all by himself...........as though he didn't hover around her 24*7.


But, he loathed her giving her attention to anyone else in his presence a fact which hadn't gone unnoticed by Riddhima. From the past two and half weeks of extreme closeness with him, she had noticed him to be dominating and a little overly possessive about her. He would keep hovering around her whenever she were talking to anyone else besides him and she was taken aback when he had glowered on her and not spoken to her all the way back home just because she had nominated to help out Frank, her classmate on through the course.


"I don't like them eyeing you" he would argue.


"But Armaan its just out of mere friendliness. Just because I talk to someone doesn't mean my love for you has lessened" She would argue back defending herself.


He would say sorry and the matter would end. He would also be dominating at times. He had taken her shopping the very next day of her confession despite her disagreement. It was true she secretly loved being pampered like this. But his aggressiveness alarmed her sometimes. If he didn't like something he would make her give up too turning a deaf ear to her liking. She would sometimes fail to understand him. He would make her feel like a queen one minute and the very next moment he would make her feel as if she didn't exist and his opinion was much more important and above hers.


But the fact remained that all these negative traits were overshadowed by his unconditional love for her. He had built a fairytale world around her which she never wanted to ever get out of. Maybe men are a little egoistic and dominant she thought. She hadn't had a male shadow on her life ever as her pa was always filled to the brim with alcohol and never really was there in her life. She and her ma had created a world of their own and she grew up in it. Hence, when Armaan would dominate she would just brush it away as she felt their love was still raw and new.........besides with time he would surely outgrow. He had no one to love and had never felt love. Riddhima would reason that it was hence he was so insecure and behave so aggressively at times. He will overcome she would assure herself. Besides, the way he made her feel made her forget all his pitfalls.


Never had he in these two weeks of them being together tried crossing any limits with her. He treated her like a princess and just being in his arms, she would feel complete. He never took that extra step of closing up on her against her wishes.


She smiled as she thought about all this seeing him kiss her fingers as he drove along on their way to Seattle.


*********************************************


"Cheers!!!"

They raised the toast over the table as they celebrated their success. The presentation had been as successful as expected and Riddhima especially was overjoyed as she saw herself slowly fulfilling her mother's dream and to add to her happiness she had Armaan by her side.


"I completely left that old owner of the company stunned"


Armaan smiled gleefully. Riddhima smiled hearing him boast gloatingly. It had been a joined effort but Armaan was so overjoyed with his first success that he had conveniently just forgotten the fact that Riddhima had an equal share to it. She didn't correct him once for the plain fact that she loved seeing him happy and she knew that deep down he knew she had a lion's share to it "so does it really matter whether he mentions me or not" She pondered.


"You know Riddhima the moment we entered I could judge how he was and what he was expecting and I....." Riddhima nodded holding his hand listening patiently to his ramblings of nothing but himself.


"I am so proud of you Armaan" she whispered as he finished his rattle.


Armaan blinked looking at her. She was proud of him......the words suddenly rang in his ears and he lowered his eyes with a little shame shifting his chair and pulling it closer to hers as the waiter served their dinner.


"I am sorry"


Riddhima looked at him taken aback as he left his hold over her hand and raised his hand to gently stroke her cheek.


"What are you sorry for Armaan?"


"For using the word "I" everywhere and forgetting its not "I" or "Me" but "Us" Armaan simply answered.


Riddhima smiled deeply, her smile reaching upto her eyes.


"Its ok Armaan"


"No its not, I just forgot that you worked equally hard and stole all credit myself and you.....being a typical girl just let me? Love has made you blind Riddhima I am telling you"

 He looked at her sternly..........deeply annoyed with himself.


"Hmm I wouldn't deny it has" She answered giggling as he looked daggers at her.


"But why blame me Armaan? Blame it on the guy who loves me so blindly and has inflicted and made me feel drown deep in him"


Armaan couldn't hold back hearing this as he leaned forward kissing her forehead.


"You should correct me Riddhima.....I can't go on hurting you and powering you like this........I get away saying sorry and you just let me go off.....forgiving me each time.....but Riddhima.........."


"Don't say anything more Armaan" She placed her finger on his lips.


"The very fact you realized your follies is more than enough for me........I ask for nothing more except you beside me"


************************************************


He opened the door to her room to find her standing in the balcony.


"What are you doing here alone Riddhima, its getting a bit chilly, get in baby" he walked towards her hugging her from behind feeling her cold.


They were staying up in the penthouse of one of the most posh hotels in Seattle as per Armaan's command. He hadn't paid any heed to her objections of splurging so much just for a three day trip and he had scolded her severely when she had offered him to pay half of the cost of the trip not to mention he had not talked to her for half a day when she suggested to living in a nearby local hotel as it was just a question of three days. She had ultimately given in and her trust in him allowed her to share the same house with him.


"You are staying with me" he spoke firmly. As they couldn't share the same room, he had booked a penthouse instead of two rooms so she was with him all day.


"The view is so beautiful from here" She whispered peering down and away as Armaan followed her gaze.


"It is indeed but not as beautiful or worth enough to take my eyes off you." He whispered in her ears as she turned around to face him blushing.


Feeling his arms around her, Riddhima hugged him back closing her eyes.


"Riddhima, is it fine if I ask something from you? she nodded as she looked up at him.


"Why did you refuse me and ignore me when I first proposed you? Did you not believe me? Or was it trust or me lacking to show you the depth of my feelings? What was it Riddhima....please its been eating me ever since and.....tell me baby why was it?"


Riddhima looked at him feeling suddenly cold. The battle she had fought so hard and ultimately lost when she poured her heart to him was being ignited again by him. He wanted to know why she rejected him? Did she have any valid reason? No.


He looked at her lost deep in thought and pulled her closer to him.


"Did I offend you sweetheart? Its okay if you don't want to share, I just asked....."


"Armaan....I thought myself not worthy for you" she whispered turning around as she continued.


"What?" Armaan looked baffled.


"I.....I....see Armaan, I come from a very poor background with a shame hung on my head due to my father and you..........you belong to a different class altogether....I thought that we couldn't just be together. It was better I stay away from you as our classes don't match and you deserved someone worthy of you..........but............I couldn't convince myself on it as I fell totally in love............but then again you behaved quite shockingly about the whole Kevin issue which pushed me all the more...I never knew you loved me Armaan............I am sorry for having hurt you...believe me............"


Riddhima stopped feeling tears swell up as he made her face him. Cupping her face with his palms he spoke.

"Never again will you ever allow such thoughts to enter that mind of yours Riddhima..............in love, you don't compare yourself according to the status..............I love you and not your background or status. When I embraced you I did so with everything you bring along with you and what matters the most to me is you Riddhima............with me by your side you wont ever have to have a single frown on your face"


She looked at him as tears flowing down her cheeks. Kissing them away he gently trailed his lips along her cheeks allowing them to linger a little longer.He removed the strands of hair on her shoulder one by one. She found herself being pulled into him as he encircled his arms around her waist firmly.His fingers tightened, and their gentle pressure sent waves of eager warmth coursing through her. He could feel their breathing blend in the tiny space that separated them.

With infinite yearning they came together in a rapturous kiss. Her arms entwined around his neck as their lips melded to seal their love.


*************************************

Present 

Armaan opened his eyes, the memory of their first ever kiss still fresh in his mind. He remembered how she had instantly melted in his arms. She had always been so vulnerable yet soft and gentle. He got out of the bed feeling restless. What would he do once she wakes up? No matter what,  he was going to get her forgive him .........he decided as he made his way to the bathroom glancing at her.


As the door closed, she stirred finding no one beside her as she had become used to feeling something cuddling her throughout the night her eyes flew open.....drowsily she gazed around.....trying to get up as her eyes adjusted to the pale light in the room. She realized where she was instantly.............even in her state of dizziness.........................she knew where exactly she was...guessing who had brought her here the next minute.....


Jia 

No comments:

Post a Comment

dilmilgayearblog.blogspot.com