Tuesday, 2 July 2019

Chapter 6 B: Numb

August 17th 2011

Today will go down as one of the worst days of my life. I should have never listened to Rahul. I should have never told Riddhima that I love her. Yeah that's right. I told her I love her and what did she say...nothing. She said absolutely nothing and you know why. Because she doesn't love me. I ruined everything. This is all my fault. Why did I have to take that chance? Why did I have to listen to my heart? What must she be thinking about me now? She must think I'm just some desperate love seeking guy. She probably doesn't even want to see me anymore. And why would she? I mean I made a complete fool out of myself in front of her. I didn't even stop when Rahul tried to ask me what was wrong. God  why couldn't this all be just a bad dream. I finally fall in love and I ruin it. I lost her. But the worst part is I'm still her doctor. I still have to see her. I'm just going to have to keep my distance. I don't know how I'm going to do that but I guess I will just have to try. I'm sorry Riddhima. I'm sorry Eva. I'm really sorry.

 He closed his eyes shut as his vision began to blur. How could life be so cruel? What had he done to anyone to deserve such a pain? Was this the result of falling in love? Because if that was the case then he didn't want any part of it. He didn't need her. He was better off alone. A lone tear escaped his eye and before he knew it Armaan had buried his face into his palms and broke down into sobs. Reality had finally sunk in and he had no choice but to accept it. He had lost her. He had lost his first love.


"Come Armaan! Answer the phone!"

Rahul said impatiently for the umpteenth time in the past 1 hour. He had been trying to get a hold of Armaan ever since he had walked out of Riddhima's room without saying a word or for that matter even glancing at him. Rahul had figured out from looking at Armaan's hurt face that something had gone horribly wrong. He had tired calling out to Armaan but his voice had fallen on deaf ears. And now for the past 1 hour Rahul had been calling Armaan constantly hoping he would answer the phone and he would be able to comfort his friend. Finally as his voice mail went off Rahul hung up the phone. He was getting worried. He hoped Armaan was alright and hadn't done anything drastic.

This is all my fault! Why did I have to dare him! I'm such an idiot! Muski is right. My brain is the size of a pea. I just don't think! And now all because of my stupidity my best friend is heartbroken. Well now it's up to me to fix this. Armaan I'm coming over.

And with that, grabbing his car key's Rahul walked out of his front door to comfort his best friend come brother.


Hearing the constant ringing of his door bell. Armaan reluctantly climbed out of his bed. Who was here now? He wondered as he grudgingly dragged himself towards his front door. He was already having a terrible day and now someone had come to visit. Just great! Now I have to deal with company. He thought bitterly as he placed his hand on the door knob and turned it. Opening the door towards him he opened it to see Rahul standing in front of him with a worried yet apologetic face.

"What do you want?"

"Dude! I've been trying to get a hold of you for the past 1 hour! Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry! But I'm in no mood to talk to anyone so can you please leave me the hell alone!"

"No. I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

Armaan could see that Rahul wasn't going to budge and seeing the determined look on his face he knew he meant business. And so unwillingly he let Rahul in.

"Fine you want to talk let's talk. Let's talk about how you dared me to tell Riddhima how I felt about her! Let's talk about the fact that I made a fool out of myself in front of her! Let's talk about the fact that she doesn't love me! Let's talk about the fact that this is my entire fault that I listened to you! Let's talk about the fact that I don't know how I'm going to face her! And you know what...this is all because of YOU!"

Rahul watched and listened quietly as Armaan fired accusation after accusation at him. He felt terrible knowing that he had caused this to happen but he also knew that deep down he was only trying to help his best friend. He hadn't meant for things to get out of hand. He had only wanted Armaan and Riddhima to be together but all because of his stupid idea his friend had ended up heartbroken.

"Well? What do you have to say for your self?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I tried to help you. I'm sorry I failed as a friend. I'm sorry I caused your heartbreak. I'm sorry I dared you. I'm really really sorry. I was only trying to help. I didn't mean for things to get out of hand. I wish there was something I could do to fix this but I can't. Look if you want to hate me hate me. I won't blame you."

Armaan could feel his heartbreak into pieces as he heard Rahul's words. He instantly felt guilty. How could he have blamed him for trying to help him. Rahul wasn't just his best friend he was his brother. Rahul had always been there for Armaan for as long as he could remember. Rahul had seen Armaan at his lowest points in life and here he had just yelled at him for trying to bring him and Riddhima together. 

"No I'm sorry Rahul. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I mean you were only trying to help me and I just snapped at you for no reason. And one more thing. I can NEVER hate you. You're my brother."

Rahul didn't have words to express how he felt hearing Armaan address him as his brother and so he simply got up from his seat and hugged him. He hugged him hoping he would understand how much his friendship meant to him.

"Okay. Enough. If someone catches us like this they'll get the wrong message."

"Ha ha ha. Very funny. But seriously I'm really sorry."

"It's okay man."

"So. What are you going to do now?"

 "What is there to do? I'm just going to keep my distance and eventually I will get over her."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah Rahul. I'm serious."

"What ever happened to maybe..Oh..I don't know...Talking to her. Maybe straightening things out?"

"There is nothing to straighten out dude. It's over."

"Are you sure? Cause I don't think it is!"

"And how do you know? You don't even know what happened!"

"Well maybe if you told me I can figure something out!"

"Fine. You want to know then listen. I tell her that I love her and she just sits there and doesn't even say a word. Now you tell me is it over or not?"

"Omg! You're such a moron!"

"Excuse me?"

"Dude! She was in shock! That's why she didn't say anything and because you didn't stay long enough she didn't get a chance to answer you which is why you thought she doesn't love you."


"Now don't just sit here! Get off your *** and go talk to her!"


"No next year! Of course NOW!"

"What if I mess up again?"

"Will you shut up and go!"

"Okay. I'm going."

"Best of luck!"

"Thanks man."

As he got up from his seat Armaan felt a weight lift off of him. He felt a lot better after talking to Rahul. And now that he knew what had gone wrong he was ready to fix it. He was ready to face her one more time.


It had been a strange day to say the least for Riddhima. She had never imaged that she would have behaved the way she had with Armaan today. He had taken a big step and told her how he felt and she had done nothing in return. She hadn't even said a word. But it wasn't her fault. She had been taken off guard with his proclamation and she didn't know how to react. After all it wasn't everyday that someone came up to her and said that they loved her. Oh well better get some sleep and hopefully in the morning I'll be able to fix everything. And with that Riddhima lay down beside Eva and was about to close her eyes when the creaking sound of the door opened. She lifted her head up from the pillow and saw the one person she had been waiting to see ever since he had walk out of her room's door. Armaan.


Okies bye.


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