Tuesday, 16 July 2019

Part 3: How to Kill your Husband

"If you were my husband, I would poison your tea"

"If you were my wife, I would drink it"

Riddhima walked down the aisle with the veil partly covering her face. She was one of those few brides who walked down the aisle without their father holding their hand. But here riddhima was proudly walking alone. She could see armaan's back as he was facing the priest. He was wearing a black suit and that was all she could see from where she was coming. As if Armaan felt her coming, he turned around and forgot to breath, there ascending an angel from heaven with a net veil covering her face. Okay seriously what the hell am I thinking? Brrr

Riddhima came an stood next to Armaan. The only person in the church was beside Armaan and riddhima was Armaan's dad. They both begged for a silent low profile marriage and Billy Mallik reluctantly agreed but was adamant on having a grand reception. He was on the sky when Armaan announced that he and riddhima are going to marry so in short, it was chat mangni pat biya. Now now the best part yet to come, in all this hurry, riddhima 'forgot' to inform her family that she's getting married today so let's just hope her khandan doesn't get too angry or rather let's hope they get to taste their own medicine ;) Even riddhima was like 'waise bhi sab chup chup kar kaam karte hai mere khandan mein, then am sure they won't mind me getting married chori chori chupke chupke'

"Now I announce you Man and Wife" the priest said smilingly

"cool can we kiss now?" the eagar groom butted in and riddhima closed her eyes in embarrassment. The priest just laughed along with Mr. Mallik and cheered "GO FOR IT SON". Armaan lifted the veil and pulled her closer through her elbows. Riddhima felt butterflies in her tummy. C'mon now it's not like it's the first time he's kissing you, don't be nervous and just get it over with but when Armaan's manly lips touched her soft ones, she forgot all about the rule of 'get it over with'. He barely laid his lips on hers, just enough to feel the warmth there, the texture. It was like tasting summer's first ripe peach. Sweet, soft. Sensuous. Eliciting a low throaty murmur from her that sang like honey through his blood stream.

More. It was more than he'd anticipated and it threw him for a loop. He lifted his head to gaze down at her, saw that she was as surprised as he was. They both quickly parted at the sudden change in heart beat which was beating oddly out of time.

"congratulations son, now you are a married man. How do you feel eh? Any different?" Mr. Mallik joked and teased his son. Armaan quickly controlled his overwhelming feeling and smirked looking at his bride who was stealing glances by now.

"Marriage is an adventure dad, like going to a war" Armaan said cheekily while looking at riddhima whose head snapped back and was giving him glares. Mr. Mallik just coughed in awkwardness and told Armaan and riddhima to sit in the car.

"riddhima sweets aren't you going to comment on our future married life? Go on I want to know the views of my wifey"

"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit" riddhima snapped back and Armaan chuckled at his wife's dry humour. "you do remember our pre nuptial contract terms right?, make sure you stick to all our conditions", riddhima finishes

"how can I forget wifey. But vo last wala condition ko thora sa tweak nahi kar sakte? I am sure by now you know that we have sparks flying when we touch" Armaan said winking.

"Don't even think about getting lucky. Sex doesn't come in contract marriage so my dear hubby you better keep your hands and your other body parts to yourself" riddhima finished with a tight smile.

"Are you sure riddhima this is what you want? You know my offer is still open" Armaan asked huskily while stealing a glance at her, then looked back on the road ahead.

'NO' "Yes"

""yes" you are sure or "yes" you accept my offer?"

"you know what I mean, now  drive quick. You know where we're going right Armaan?" riddhima double checked

"offcourse I know, we're going to my contract sasural" Armaan said grinning and riddhima rolled her eyes.

"Now be your usual self there, act like a jerk, flirt with other women and don't give a damn about me. Make the impression of the worst son in law they can ever get...on second thoughts, you didn't even need to try, just be yourself and that will do."

"Aah thats harsh wifey. It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married and now I am that unfortunate guy" Armaan sighs dramatically.

"I'll just pretend I haven't heard that" riddhima replies back sweetly.


As soon as the married couple steps in riddhima's house, Armaan stands on the door and take his beer bottle out. Riddhima looks at him with disgusted expression and Armaan shrugs,

"what you told me to act like a bad son in law. It's all part of the plan baby"

"whatever, just another thing. They might raise their hand on me or say something nasty, don't be a hero and save the damsel in distress. Just stand there and show them you don't care one bit about me" riddhima give final instructions.

"Babe I don't care about you anyways, so chill wifey, no sweat in watching you getting beaten up by sasur jee. On second thoughts, i might even record it and put it on Youtube "young bride gets beaten up by angry father. Where is the groom?" hahaha totally evil right?" Armaan finishes his evil brain's productive idea. Riddhima just stares at him for a moment and then smirks and says,

"you're just perfect for this role. I couldn't have found a worser husband"

"love you too wifey" Armaan winks and gives her a flying kiss with his two fingers.

Riddhima steps inside her house and sees that her family is sitting in the living room all women standing and serving tea to the men of the house are ignoring them and reading newspaper, occasionally passing a few comments about their wives "sara din ghar mein karti kya hai? Kuch kaam to hota nahi tum aurto ko" "*groans* chai mein shakkar kam hai. Itne saalo se chai bana rahi ho, kuch seekha nahi?" and yaada yaada yaada u know all the same.

"HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT? I GOT MARRIED" riddhima announced merrily getting all the attention she never really got in her whole life all at once.

"KYA?!!" they all stood up at once and saw riddhima's white bride gown and her smudged lipstick.

"yeah sorry I forgot to tell you, but hey you lot better come to the reception" riddhima said cheerily while going to her room when suddenly she got pulled back .

"KYA BAKWAAS KAR RAHI HAI?" her dad asked heatedly

"Aah c'mon dad, that's rich coming from you considering how you "forgot" to tell us about ur extra marital affair with that wh**e and oh your bas***d son offcourse"

*SLAP* "BATAMEEZ, bara maza aata hai tujhe hame dukh dekar nahi?" shashank roared just when Armaan came in with his usual cocky smile and confident stride.

"Woah easy sasur jee. Mere aane ka to wait kar lete." He smiled lopsidedly while scanning the room. he gaze landed on Padma and commented,

"Hey sasuma, I heard your husband cheated on you for another woman. Just a piece of advice, if a woman steals your man, there's no better revenge than to let her keep him" Armaan laughed at his own jokes and padma bit her lips to stop smiling. "another question, did you fall in love with your husband at first sight?" Armaan asked with dreamy eagerness.

"uh yes why?" padma answered reluctantly

"you should have looked twice...no offence sasur jee" Armaan turned to shashank who was boiling in rage by now.


"I know right, but I hope riddhima mere ghar ki naukar banne ke layak ho otherwise what's the point of getting married right?" Armaan asked seriously and shashank slapped riddhima to vent out his anger.



"CHUP KAR. Tujhe to paida hote hi maar dena chahiye tha." Shashank spat out poison. Armaan flinched and was about to do something which even he doesn't know what it was when riddhima's word rang in his ears about not interfering the family feud so stood his ground with a lot of self control. Even he couldn't depict that why it took so much self control to not do anything to help riddhima and just stand there watching. Maybe because it's wrong to hit a girl so mercilessly.

"Man that was good and trust me sasur jee I would love to see this WWE but unfortunately I've gotta watch my football match and this fam drama is making me terribly late, so wifey do you mind packing your bags and stuff am outside yeah" Armaan animatedly waved at the fuming family and with same cocky smile and confident stride he left the house.

After about 20 minutes waiting in the car and tapping the steering wheel impatiently the bride finally entered the car; the only difference between a normal bride and riddhima was that riddhima's cheek was red with all the slapping business and normal bride's cheek goes red because of all blushing and shyness. Well isn't life just funny!

As soon as riddhima sat in the car, Armaan pressed the accelerator and zoomed off. they both sat awfully quiet in the car for a while and suddenly riddhima spoke,

"Thank you" she whispered. Armaan turned his head from the road to see her stony face staring out of the window.

"No probz wifey, the pleasure was all mine" Armaan said sarcastically as he noticed riddhima's lip bleeding and a hand print on her cheek which was starting to bruise badly. Damn Armaan why are you feeling bad, she was one who told you not to interfere. Just look away. He turned his head back on the focusing on driving.

"you know I've never see papa so helpless before. Just like my mum was that day. Now he'll know how it feels when someone you love betrays you so badly" riddhima kept mumbling and Armaan kept listening. He knew briefly about what her dad did but seeing riddhima this broken yet so strong did something to his heart that he stopped his car under a tree and clicked open the storage compartment of his car and took out a first aid kit.

"why did you stop the car?" riddhima asked still in dazed with all the family drama. Armaan ignored her and opened a small dettol bottle and dipped a cotton in it. Then he took that soaked cotton pad and gently padded on riddhima's cheek. He came near her face and blew out gently and slowly but that gave totally different effect on riddhima's breathing. Her breathing grew shallower and faster. She closed her eyes as soon as she felt the cold soaked cotton pad on her cheek and then next moment it started stinging.

"oww it stinges. Armaan aah it burns" riddhima flinched back but Armaan caught the back of her head and started dabbing the cotton near her lips. As he traced the cotton line on her bleeding lips, Armaan blew his hot breath simultaneously. They both came so close that one movement of hand and their lips would touch. Both Armaan and riddhima started into eachother's eyes but a sound of a bird nearby broke their trance and they both recoiled at the same time sitting straight in their car seats avoiding eachother's eyes.

"Yeh sab acha husband banne ka natak karne ki nahi zarurat mere saamne" riddhima said bitterly and Armaan smirked.

"Babes you actually thought I did all that for you? I did all that cuz I don't want dad to think that I can't take care of my brand new wife. You know I have a rep to maintain" Armaan said cheekily while starting the engine of the car.

"After marriage husband and wife becomes two side of a coin, they can't face each other but they still have to live with each other for the rest of their lives...or at least until they get divorced!"

"If we are praising about marriage let me do the honours as well wifey, Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail." Armaan cracked up laughing at his own joke and that broke the ice making riddhima chuckle as well.

"You know Armaan; every woman wants a husband who is handsome, understanding, rich, and a good cook. But the law allows only one husband"


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