Wednesday, 17 July 2019

Part 4: How to Kill your Husband

The newlyweds reach armaan's house which is now riddhima's house as well and click open the car door.

"Hey wifey what if someone asks you about your bruise? What are you planning to say?" Armaan asks casually while taking riddhima's suitcase from the boot.

"keh dungi mere pati ne muj par haat utha ya jab mein use thandi chai di" riddhima chuckles seeing Armaan's shocked expression.

"Haha wifey very funny...NOT. Man sort your sense of humour, it's getting worse and worse by the day" Armaan replies back with a tight smile and throws riddhima's suitcase near her feet. "Not your servant you know, don't expect all those gentlemanly stuff from me." He smirks at now her shocked expression and heads towards his door. Riddhima huffs and carry her bag following in armaan's wake.

"kutta kamina, iske chai mein to rat poison nahi mila diya to mera naam bhi riddhima nahi. Thank god they atleast sell rat poison on" riddhima mutters furiously.

As soon as Armaan opens the door, Billy Mallik opens the door and greets the newlyweds but frowns once he sees riddhima's bruised cheek.

"What happened to your cheek riddhima dear?" he asks with fatherly affection.

"Vo...vo.. uhmm lag gayi" riddhima stammered not being able to come with an answer. How can she say that her dad slapped her for getting married without his consent?

"Her old man slapped her for getting married without informing them" Armaan answered for her shamelessly and riddhima gasped at armaan's bluntness. "anyways dad it's none of our business I mean, let her sort it our herself"

"what are saying son? She's my daughter in law now, I make it my business" Billy Mallik retorted.

"Look dad I know you care and stuff but please stop interfering in our lives so much. You told me to get married and I did get married, now please give me some space" Armaan snapped back and headed for his room upstairs taking two steps at a time on the round curving stairs. Riddhima just stayed stunned and kept staring at armaan's retreating back. okay awkwarddd.

"uhmm I am sorry Mr. Mallik for armaan's behaviour. Uh I don't know what to say" riddhima hung her head in embarrassment.

"He hates me beta, for sending him to England after me and his mother got separated. I don't know whether it's unfortunately or fortunately, but I got armaan's custody but I couldn't take care of him and Armaan started going out of hands. I got scared, after all I was a single father at the end of the day and my business was in struggling stages. The only way I thought to hold on to my falling family was separate my son from me for a while." Billy Mallik stopped for a moment and started at riddhima with guilty eyes. "Armaan held me responsible for snatching away his mum from him and his life, when I begged him to come back, he refused blatantly. He hated the sight of me, so I blackmailed him into coming here and getting married and when he told me that he wants to marry you, swear on god riddhima, I was very happy. I know your personality very well sweetheart and how that tongue of yours work and the only girl who has the potential to bring my spoiled son back on tracks is you m'dear. It's you, oh by the way did I tell you how lovely you both looked with eachother? It's like god personally made both of you for each other. God bless your married life" Billy Mallik finished with a contended sigh even when there was so much buried pain in his voice.

Okay so like what am I supposed to say? Jeez unke ghar ka maamla hai, just say something nice riddhima like 'offcourse uncle, ab Armaan meri zimmedari hai' yeah right as if I don't have anything better to do. I'd rather crawl on burning coals before that. Oh dear lord this family emotional confrontation is downright AWKWARDDD. Yaar mere ghar mein mujse aaj tak kisi ne kuch confront nahi kiya.

"Don't worry Mr. Mallik, we'll somehow  manage after all we're in loveee" she pretended to blush a bit but it felt stupid so she just nodded her head happily and started taking steps back. "I'll go catch up on Armaan. See you later Mr. Mallik" riddhima waved at a smiling Billy. Bechara, he thinks they're in love! Did the sun rise from the west today?

Riddhima entered the room and started fiddling with the zipper of her white gown when suddenly Armaan came out of the en suite bathroom wearing just his pyjamas trousers and a towel in hand which he was rubbing his wet hair with. Riddhima gasped seeing a half naked Armaan in front of her with her bare chiselled chest and abs on his abdomen who were begging to be caressed. Her gaze travelled lower and lower mentally undressing him, imagining all sorts of X-rated ideas jeez riddhima, control your horny thoughts. Look away loookkk away, man look at his abs, RIDDHIMA! She quickly averted her gaze and turned her back to Armaan who was now grinning from ear to ear.

"Aah no wifey, don't get all shy in front me hon. You know it's your marital right to look at your husband with those eyes" Armaan said seductively while approaching her and right behind her.

"What eyes? Dude I was just thinking why aren't wearing any clothes?" riddhima snapped as she turned around to face him, nose high in the air.

"Really now luv? By the way you were looking at me, it seemed like you were thinking 'why is he wearing any clothes?'" armaan's eyes were darker than before and even riddhima's pupils dilated as she widened her eyes.

"what..whatever Armaan. Anyways now let me change into more comfy clothes" riddhima shrugged passed him and started undoing her chain but her hand didn't reach all the way back. she looked at Armaan through the mirror and he raised his brows with a cocky smile. "poochna parega? Help me man. This gown is bloody two sizes smaller" riddhima groans and Armaan comes and stand behind her. He raises his hand and traces her spine with his fingers causing riddhima to shiver. Was this anticipation? He fingers reaches the zipper and he ever so slowly slides it down while caressing at riddhima's creamy skin. Riddhima felt a chill down her spine causing her shiver and she closed her eyes to control her inner turmoil. Every cell of her body was screaming her to turn around and throw her hands around armaan's neck and kiss him like there's no tomorrow. But what then? You'll be another notch on this serial playboy's bedpost. Will you be able to take another heart break?

"Don..dont Armaan. You're breaking our contract terms" it took riddhima every inch of self control to not give in. The desire. The air was thick with tension around them as riddhima turned around to face him and his eyes darkened if that was even possible.

"Don't worry I won't do anything you don't want me to do" he said huskily while coming even closer to her. Their bodies weren't touching but their warmth spread through their fronts like a blanket. Damn Riddhima realised, he didn't answer her question at all rather he put her in a worse situation.

"I want you to leave me alone... am I asking for too much?" riddhima begged with pleading eyes. Armaan traced her cheeks with his knuckles and bent his head close to her lips.

"Kab tak bhagogi wifey?" he whispered just above her lips.

"I'll go get changed. Thanks for your help" riddhima said while moving backwards towards the en suit bathroom "not that I asked for so much attention" she murmured the last bit as she entered the bathroom banging the door shut.

Stepping out of the trance or rather riddhima's effect on him, he lies on the bed and keeps his arms behind his head and stares at the ceiling in utter confusion. She was messing about with his head. Bringing out all the emotional feelings from he'd always ran away. He don't do emotional relationship and what riddhima's one vulnerable look could do to this nervous system amazed him. Terrified him. He needs to stay away from that chic no matter what. Once his dad signs the property transfer paper, he and riddhima can divorce as planned and no financial alimony fuss will be done as his lawyers has made water tight pre nuptial contract. It's purely a business arrangement so why did he felt like ripping all the contracts off and bending riddhima until her ice queen exterior shatters? Why did the urge to mix business with pleasure grew so much where riddhima was concerned? He needs to get a girl! It's been a few weeks since he felt a naked body against his and riddhima's here so it's natural that feels this way. It's all physical and I am mixing hormonal with emotional. Ugh I am loosing it!

Riddhima came out of this bathroom wearing silk pyjamas and rubbed her damp hair. She threw the wet towel in the washing basket and headed for the bed. She picked a pillow and went towards to the couch which looked big enough she thought and laid down taking a sigh.

"hey wifey have you heard of a recent invention done by mankind called a 'bed'?" Armaan said sarcastically as he saw riddhima sleeping on the couch.

"Yes I have thank you very much and if you have any doubts over my intellectual ability then do confront me someday" she snapped back with equal sarcasm.

"Just so know humans sleep on bed at night for personal safety and comfort"

"Will you shut up? Why are we even having this conversation?" riddhima groaned

"So that you come and join your husband on his bed"

"My husband can dream!"

"Actually your husband believes in making dreams come true" Armaan said while getting up from his bed and marching upto the couch. He bent slightly and slipped his hand under riddhima's armpit to make her sit up and another one under her knees.

"Don't you DARE!" riddhima screamed as Armaan lifted her up in one easy movement.

"Oh how I love challenges" Armaan said while grinning from ear to ear. "Now now wifey, be a good girl and sleep properly otherwise I know other way to hold you back on this bed" Armaan seriously as he laid her down on the bed and kept his both hand around her head on pillow.

"May you grow so rich that your widow's second husband don't have to worry about a living...god forbid offcourse hubby don't take it in the wrong way" riddhima smirked as she taunted him.

"May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish husband" Armaan backfired

"May you never leave your marriage alive" riddhima snapped and the corner's of armaan's mouth twitched

"My wife has split personality...and I hate both of them" Armaan grinned as riddhima glared at him and was about to push him when he caught her hands and pinned them by her side on the bed, "They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. So true isn't it wifey?" Armaan said leaving her hand and rolling over to his side of the bed. He himself didn't knew what got over him that he forced man handled riddhima to sleep next to him. So much for self control speech!


As the morning ray hit the bed both newlyweds stirred on their love nest...or their battle ground depending on individual's point of view. Riddhima slowly opened one eye and looked around her. Armaan was peacefully sleeping next to her with his one arm carelessly laid on riddhima's stomach. Baap ka maal samjha hai kya? Riddhima thought shoving his hand off her stomach and flung her legs off the bed on the thick carpeted floor.

"oww" Armaan stirred as he felt one of his limp untangling from his body. Armaan also opened his eyes in narrow slits as sunlight caused the vision contrast. He saw riddhima entering the bathroom and closed his eyes again waiting for her to come out.


He got off the bed and knocked on the en suit door.

"What the hell are you doing? Did you fall asleep inside or something?" Armaan banged the bathroom door while rubbing his eyes.

"Ggg agmmm hmmoggg ddhmmmggg" riddhima said something which couldn't qualify for a language.

"WHAAA? ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH IN THERE OR WHAT?" Armaan banged his own head on the door in impatience. He heard some gargling noise from inside the bath and suddenly BOOM! Riddhima goes off,

"KUTTE KAMINE, SHANTI SE TEETH BRUSH KARNE BHI NAHI DETA." Riddhima screamed and backed off instantly, "ek to subah subah dimaag dysfunctional karke rakh deta hai kamina" riddhima was going on and on and strangely Armaan was having fun seeing riddhima blasting off. okay so my wifey is not morning person. I wonder what else am I going to learn and knowing my luck, I will always learn everything the hard way. 'kutte kamine' hmmm interesting.

She got of the bathroom wearing a thick robe which came up till her upper thighs.

*whistles* "someone's looking hot" Armaan teased riddhima who stood there with her hands on her hips. Water was dripping from her wet hair and rolling down her long neck, seeping in her cleavage. Don't even go there Armaan, look into her eyes not anywhere else. Ooh she looks like she's ready for another war.

"Hot enough to blow you off" riddhima retored

"Babes you've already blown my mind off, what else is left?" Armaan asked cheekily. Riddhima stepped closer to him and tip toed coming eye to eye level with him.

"Your profile on" she whispered in his ears and there was second of confusion in his eyes as she started at him waiting for the bomb to blast.

"I...don't have one. I don't make profiles on such looser sites"

"When did I say you made one? And just because you didn't make one yourself, doesn't mean you haven't got it" riddhima smirked and shook her head on his naivety. He still didn't get it?


"How do you think rushan came in the picture? Did you think she dropped from the sky and we caught her just in time to show you?" riddhima laughed and started drying her hair with a hair dryer.

"!!" he asked between gritting teeth.

"hey c'mon now, don't get angry yeah. Atleast it will come handy once we get divorced. Hey have you heard of one of those cheap marriage bureaus where you have to call them and they say,  "Rishtey ke liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye." Arey yaar dusri shaadi ke liye kya dabaye?" riddhima asked while laughing at her own jokes.

"Dusri shadi ke liye pehle wali ka gala dabye ..!" Armaan said while coming upto riddhima with open hand ready to strangle her. Riddhima abandoned her hair dryer and started running around the room giggling like a school girl as Armaan chased her keeping her on her toes.  After chasing each other around the room for 5 minutes both collapse on the bed and riddhima kept laughing.

"hey it's not funny okay" Armaan moaned as his lips twitched. He nearly smiled. Nearly.

"I am not laughing at you, am just remembering the profiles on for girls who were interested in you. Man they were hilarious" riddhima again went into fits of laughter.

"I want to see. That's it!" Armaan said adamantly bringing his laptop as he went on to the website of The homepage opened up and riddhima logged in as Armaan rubbed his hands.

"Here have a look at what kind of retards wanted to marry you. HAHAHA" riddhima showed some of the profiles.

"i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state he is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework"

"What homework? What am I? A school goer?"

"She meant house chores"

"Oh dear lord, Next"

"I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a
first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ...hold my hand forever !!!"

"hayeee this is called dil wale dulhaniya le jayenge effect" riddhima said dreamily and then bursted out laughing seeing armaan's horror struck expression.

"I don't even want to comment, next"

"i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast"

"BY NOT WEARING HIS JEANS? WHAT THE HELL?" Armaan asked while dropping his jaw.

"arey tumhe kya problem hai? Waise bhi tumhe kapde pehenne nahi ache lagte. I think's perfect for you. HAHAHAHA"

"UGHHH next"


"All of us are LOUGHING" riddhima said cracking up and even Armaan smiled after trying really hard not.


"whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp"

"I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl actually wants?" Armaan asked shaking his head and riddhima laughed so hard that nearly fell off the bed.

"i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate

"I am clueless again but I liked the use of 'ok'. The girl is suffering from 'ok-syndrome'" Armaan joked and started to enjoy this.

"my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes"

"The height of desperation" Armaan said while shaking his head, "It's like her dad's dying and she needs dowry money for his operation"

"Armaan jee marry me please please please please please" riddhima bursted out laughing and suddenly stopped, "By the way just so you know, the boy's family receives the dowry money, not girl's buddu ek number ka"


"iam kanandevi. i do owo sistar.he was marred."

"No comments."



"Iam Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service."

"What is she? A ZEBRA?"

"HAHAHAHAHA she cracked me up"

"Everything cracks you up riddhima. NEXT!"

"Hey but you should credit me for finding rushan for you. She looks like a shining gem in front of them." Riddhima said seriously trying to suppress her smile



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