Saturday, 19 October 2019

AR os : Life Inside Me (part 1)

It has been 5 months since the dreadful day which changed my happy going life. And all this happened because of my sharp angry and ego. Yes, I am Riddhima, Riddhima Armaan Malik, and to be a mother of a boy/girl in another 4 months. But Armaan does not even know that I am carrying his child in my womb. Just because of my sharp tongue I ruined my own life with my hands just for a silly reason.

We both were married for 6 months and it was a love marriage and it happened in Sanjeevani, Delhi. My dad was against it and when we both got married in the court he told me that day that I would never be happy with Armaan and she would repent about her decision in a very short time. At that time I was hurt a little but after when Armaan consoled me then I thought that with Armaan by my side nothing bad would happen and it was true. We had got transferred to Sanjeevini, Mumbai as Armaan did not want me to face my dad every day in the hospital as he would not leave a chance to hurt me in any manner. Armaan had his own house in Mumbai and we shifted to his place. We did not get time to go on our honeymoon as we had no leave and had joined new and were starting our new life without any ones support and all our friends were in Delhi, and they could not do anything as they themselves were dealing with their own problems and we did not want to bother them.



Our life was going very smooth and we both were working in the same hospital. Our life was full of happiness, understanding and also full of romance as Armaan would never leave a chance to romance. Neither in the hospital nor at home. Armaan's childhood was not a good one as his parents always used to fight and when Armaan was at 10 years of age they both got divorced and he had to live with both as both of them wanted him due to their ego, but he wanted love. When he started his college life, he shifted to a hostel and then he never went back to his home.

He always was a spoilt kid and never kept his things organized and would live in a messy room and he had no one to yell at him and he grew up in the same environment. Where as I always want my surrounding to be clean and things organized and to be kept in their places where it belongs to. Initially I had less work at hospital and I used to return home and clean everything before he would come back. After sometime when my work was increasing, I had very little time to look after the house and I could not take time for myself and Armaan. We both were always in a hurry and spent very less time with each other. I started shouting at him for each and every small mistake. He used to argue for some time and we both would end up after a small fight, but he used to take the first step to come and break the cold war between us. This went on for sometime.

One day when I came out of the shower I saw him getting ready and had thrown all his shirts on the bed which were neatly organized by me only 2 days back. I lost my temper and started shouting in a high tone and it was the first time I had yelled at him in such a way. He was totally shocked and was confused and when he understood he was behaving like as if nothing had happened and was not listening to me and without my knowledge and due to my bad mood I blurted out something which I should not have done. I said that I am totally fed up of this marriage and repenting about my decision. I should not have thought of getting married so early" and sat on the couch. He was hurt by my words and was angry at the same time and he told me that if I am not happy with this marriage then I am free to break it and get out of it and he just banged the door and went away leaving me behind. I being an egoistic fool thought that he wanted me out of his life and in that angry mood did not even think of what will happen in the future, I just packed my things and left that house and came back to Delhi. I stayed in my friend's apartment as I did not want to face my dad. I joined in some other hospital as I did not want Armaan to know where I was.

After a week, when I was checking a patient I felt weak and giddy and fainted. Then when I woke up I was told by one of my colleague that I was PREGNANT. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad or whether to tell Armaan about it or not to tell. And I decided not to tell him as I would just go weak by listening his voice. Like this after that I just led my tasteless life which was of no colour and was just living may be for the child or I don't know why was I living.

Today, I am thinking all this because tomorrow is my anniversary, no no no "our anniversary." I want to see Armaan, I want to hug him, I want to feel him. I thought I would live my life peacefully after getting separated, but I was wrong. I cannot live without him.


swarobi 

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