Friday, 27 March 2020

AR OS: A Hatred Named 'Love'

How do you love someone you're supposed to hate?

The question loomed in the air,as if it was the only thing left in the world for my mind to ponder on.This question wasn't just any question,it was something very closely related with the matter of my life,with the matters of my heart..

Love.I was supossed to spit at the word.It was almost a curse to even think about it,owing to the fact what I was..what I could be.People like me should be laughing off at its very existence,then why did it matter so much to me?I knew why..and it annoyed me.It was something I would've stopped if it was in my own hands,but call it a curse or a blessing,I couldn't stop it.This damn heart of mine isn't as strong as my mind..I wish it was.

Destiny-another word which had no importance in my life.My mother believed in this and look what it led to-her death.In the hands of my step-father,whom she supossedly was in 'love' with.My father had died years ago,I hadn't known how he he looked,when even my mother was snatched away.My step-father didn't give a damn about me,and then He found me among that burning house.He discovered the 10-year old me,who now,is one of the most dangerous people in the world.

His name was Vishal.Vishal Rajveer Sighania.After being disowned by his rich family,his story was almost similar to mine-he went on to become the world's most dangerous underworld don.A ruthless killer.A murderer..And growing up with him,thats what I eventually became too.

Blood,the sound of guns,the scream of helpless people,thats all what my life meant.I didn't think a second time before killing anyone,my heart was as hard as a unbreakable stone.Noone could break it,noone could put down the walls I built around me,trying to block every speck of memoried in me.

Was..yes its true.I could have never imagined,that a single feeling could change so much.One single feeling would make my heart fight against my mind,my heart wanting to rebel against everything,wanting to get out of the mess in my life and go grab the opportunity of happiness,while my mind was totally against the idea..I,being a girl,could have easily been taken advantage of,but Vishal didn't do so..he was always the brotherly figure to me.Once he had said,"You're like my family,my little sister.."Yes,sounding untrue and unreal even in our ruthless world,it had been a truth we both had known.

Vishal was no more.He had been killed 3 weeks ago,by a senior officer of the NYPD,Mallik.Thats all I had known about the guy...Just Mallik.No name,no nothing. After Vishal's death,one of his most trusted men took up the business-Mr.Verma.We all called him just 'Verma',thats it.He was like Vishal in many ways,the same stonehearted strong person,but he lacked that concern,a little bit of heart that Vishal had..Not that I cared anyway.

It was just after Vishal's death that this incident took place.I had gone out to compose myself,it hadn't made me cry..but defenetely it was nothing less than a blow to me.Obviously,it bothered me..Vishal's death wasn't something I'd expected,he was family.As I walked down the roads,I could hardly know what was happening around me,when suddenly my bag was snatched away with a man who had a long knife in his hand and before I could react properly and teach that man a lessen,the bag was infront of my eyes.Along with a handsome face,a pair of enchanting blue eyes,and a well-built stranger's triumphant smirk. I didn't need a fiasco right then.

"Thanks.",I said in a crisp,practised tone,taking my bag.
"Its okay",he said,"I like helping people."
"Incase you're asking..",I shot a hard glare at him,clearly indicating that I didn't need or want any help,"I'm not helpless."

And I left,my black heels tapping along the road.Thats when I started thinking very unconciously,of the strangely beautiful blue eyes.

We kept meeting.Call it a so-called "The Almighty"'s hints,we kept colliding for continuously 5 days,when I had taken a break for myself.Our talks weren't pleasant and friendly,I liked to keep them clipped,short and formal.We hadn't even known each other's names.

I hadn't realised what was happening to me.When I got back to work,I thought very often of his husky voice,of the warm dimples,of the eyes..Very often,his attempts at starting a pleasant conversation came into my mind,the way he treated elders,children..helped them..I even winced when I saw a man dying infront of me.I was changing,and it wasn't good.I kept fighting back the feelings,the changes occuring in me,but all in vain.That feeling was too strong.And I knew what that feelung was..My mother always talked about it.

"Its weird,we didn't exchange our names.",he said suddenly.It was after 10 days that I had met him,and I didn't know why the sudden urge to see him covered everything else.I looked at him.
"I'm Armaan Mallik,Senior officer,NYPD.",he said with a smirk.

The name sent jolts of hatred down my spine.If I could,I wanted to strangle him right then,I wanted to stuff poison in his mouth and watch him die.Instead,I did nothing.My mind screamed at me to take out my revolver and shoot him,he had taken away my only family..My Vishal.Another part of me remained numb.
"You aren't afraid of cops?",he asked.
I gave a mysterious look,"No..Not really.",I said,what was the truth.

Since that day,I had completely lived in myself.Verma wanted me to hunt down the cop named Mallik and kill him and I would laugh sarcastically to myself. I had to kill the person for whom I had developed feeling for.

Feelings,Love,Emotion,Pain,Hurt,Smiles..These are words that hadn't meant anything to me till he'd come in my life.Yes,I hated Armaan..With every fibre of my being,I did. I hate him,I want to kill him for killing Vishal.I hate him for changing me,I hate him for breaking my stoned heart.But another part of me..Found the ray of light in him among the path to freedom,to life.
I was still in constant war with myself when my phones beeped.One phone was for business and the other for..well,I didn't know.

'Riddhima,I need you here.We have to kill that Mallik,he's becoming a threat to us.'
Verma's message almost had a worried edge to it.I switched my eyes to my other phone.

'Hey,you free for the evening?I'm going out for coffee,you wanna join?

I stared at the two messages,dumbfounded.It was true that I had begun to develop feelings for Armaan,but wasn't I supossed to hate him,kill him..He'd taken away Vishal from me..I was supossed to hate him.

Did I hate Armaan?

I smiled as I threw my business phone into the dustbin and sat to reply to his text.I had found my answer.Yes,I hated Armaan..With a Hatred Named 'Love'..


Love you all,

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