Sunday, 22 March 2020

Pain… Death… Love… and Life…(ARSH OS)



I stood there; just stood there. I couldn't understand what was going around me. I didn't know if I had wanted to understand what was happening around me. All I knew was that today was the day that I had waited for. I waited for this day since years, but when this day had finally come; I was left shattered, broken into pieces. I was left all alone; alone to fend for myself, alone to mend my broken heart. I have heard people groan about how much a broken heart hurts; how much you try, you will never be able to fix it. Today was the day I was going to get married. We had planned everything together, especially the wedding date. The longest day of the year, so in the upcoming years we could have more time to ourselves. I didn't know that this is how it would end up being. I couldn't do much but stare at her melt into his arms like I wasn't there. She is lambasting me for some reason unknown to me. She is causing me furious distress. Maybe this was destined to happen. Maybe this is what should have happened. Maybe love is not for me. Love is definitely not for me.



I walked out of the room, still numb. I felt a flaming desire rise up in my throat. The desire to break all my inhibitions and break, crumble, and tear myself into pieces. All of a sudden, it felt as if the air out of me was being sucked up. Then I knew I was going to die. I felt empty. This felt good. Better than what I had felt with her around. It felt like my lungs inflating on their own. It appeared like my senses were alive. I wondered if that was possible. I felt someone shaking me vigorously. I dared and opened my eyes. Then again I was dumbstruck. The world around me had stopped, and the time had paused. My reason for life had come back to me.  She had come back to me.

"Excuse me? Sir are you alright?" I heard the angel speak. I was confused. Did she not know my name? Did she not know me? I stood up startled, and baffled. How can she not know me? She always called me her cantor why was she acting so unknown?

"Hi… Are you lost mister? Do you need help?" She replied yet again, confusing me once again.

"Shilpa? Are you alright? How do you not remember me?" I replied rather queasy.

"Ah… That explains it. I am not Shilpa. I am her twin, Shikha. Sorry for the confusion but I told her not to tell anyone about me. "She ended, and bounced away.

I closed my eyes.  I closed my eyes in solace. I felt imbecilic for jumping to conclusions. Now I felt guilty, how could I have ever doubted her? Not knowing how to comfort myself, I let a tear trickle down my face. Armaan Mallik had never cried for a girl in his life before.  Shilpa was different. She was the sole reason to my existence, the definition to the life that I live.

I jolted as I felt her cold hands crawl over my thin jersey. This is it. This is what I had always wanted. Someone to love, and as a bonus she loves me back. I turned and gave her a softest kiss on her check, apologizing for my little mistrust fiasco. I had vowed to never doubt this lady again. I guess love is for everybody, you just have to search hard, and if you are lucky it will come right to you. Like my Shilpa did. Then I remembered… that I was getting married today. This was already a long day… with more to come.

Jinil

No comments:

Post a comment

dilmilgayearblog.blogspot.com