Saturday, 11 April 2020

AR os : Miracles Happen

Part(a) : Its called a 'NEVER' !!

How do I possibly compete?She's perfect-she wears the perfect dresses,puts on the perfect make up,is popular,wears and walks on high heels,she's a cheerleader,she's beautiful,she is sexy and the worst part? She is my elder sister. Wait. Did I forget to mention that she has the perfect boyfriend,who,happens to be my best friend? Yeah,I did.

Actually,there's no competition.Anjali Gupta IS PERFECT. And to be really,really honest,I'm proud of her.I'm proud to be her sister-she's like,one in a million.But look at me? I'm a tomboy,I mostly like to play football or ride my bike,my favourite show on TV is Roadies,my favourite dresses include jeans and a top or track trousers and a oversized sweatshirt..I loath makeup,short dresses and heels AND fashion channels,my hair is a little below my shoulders,I have glasses. In short,I'm a PERFECT example of IMPERFECTION.Again the worst part comes in-my best friend is my sister's boyfriend and SHE LOVES HIM.

You're wondering why I'm bringing this Best Friend thingy up again? Well,the most UNEXPECTED thing happened in my life..I fell So helplessly in Love With my Best Friend. With Armaan Mallik. My sister's boyfriend. OhGod, That Tops my list of things-never-meant-to-be. Armaan and Me? Never! N-E-V-E-R!

I mean,look at it this way.Why would HE ever love a girl like ME? He loves my sister..My Anjali Di,Obviously! And they look perfect together.He is the hottest,sexiest and the most handsome man alive..So Perfect,Just like Di. Made for Each other.

Don't ask me how,when,what,why.I Don't know myself! All I know,is that I'm helplessly and Terribly Irrorevocably in Love with him.I got hooked to Roadies because when he watches it with rapt attention,I can stare at him.I like football because I get to play with him and sometimes his gorgeous grey-blue eyes lock with mine giving me a strange sensation of sudden excitement inside.Its like,I breathe because of Him.Dammit,its the worst ever thing that has ever happened to me..I Love Him,I myself am getting my heart broken, He doesn't.He loves Di. And the truth is,They are together...and they are meant to be just like that..Together. Not us.

I remember when I first felt like this.We both were sitting in my porch,after our daily dose of football,in which,I'd won that day,and we both were terribly tired.Panting and Laughing,we sat cracking jokes.Please,not about our studies..We were least interested in talking about the Boring Lectures in the 3rd year of Technology.

He was sitting next to me and he looked as handsome as ever.He was wearing three quarters and a sleeveless sweatshirt.There was no denying,that in everything,he looked like a Greek God. Suddenly out of nowhere,he looked at me and said,"You know what,you're cute..Different,Cool. Someone whos like me,who understands me..I like you,Ri."

His last words vibrated in my mind.I wished I could stop time at that very moment.I stared at him,dumbfounded as my heart danced,sending shivers of a unknown happiness I never knew that existed in me.All I knew,in that very moment,when his blue eyes bore into mine,I had given my heart to Armaan Mallik.I was,officially in love.It felt like heaven.

"Um,hey..I'm here always,Okay? We're best friends,after all..who'd understand you better than me?",I said,trying my best to prevent my cheeks from turning red.
He smiled after a pause,"I want you to know something.",he sounded serious.I nodded and let him continue,"Ri,I dunno when this happened but..I..I,well..",he laughed lightly,"am in love with Anjie.Your sister. Its like I've known it from a long time...just,couldn't tell you.I love Anjali,Ri.."

He trailed away and looked at me expectantly.I was way beyond shocked.How had I been so possibly stupid to think that Armaan Mallik,would love ME,of all people? Its a 'NEVER' !! I was nothing but just a BEST FRIEND to him.I stared silenced,feeling my heart breaking into pieces,its sound defeaning my ears. Finished.

"Ri,will you help me?",he said when I didn't reply,"Will you help me in bringing me and Anjie together?"
I mumbled a faint "yes..",too shocked to think rationally.My heart screamed back in agony,'NO! PLEASE ARMAAN,NO! I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!'

He hugged me instantly."Thanks Ri!You know what,you're the best!"
I think I could've appreciated the hug and the compliment,could take my time to enjoy the warmth of his arms,of my new tingling feeling..if the love was for me.If only.I realised,I'd broken my own heart.

Jolting back to present,I sighed.Why couldn't my heart be so rational like my mind?Why did I have to fall for Armaan..When I knew that he could never love me back? Tears trickle down and I wipe them off.Di would be back soon,she'd gone for a date with Armaan.Speaking of Di..

"Ridzi? I've something to tell you.",she sat beside me on the bed,while I pushed my glasses up to look at her.Her eyes were sparkling..she looked beautiful,and excited.
"Yes?",I said,sitting up and clutching my favourite pillow closer.
She bit her lower lip a little and looked at me nervously,"I..I think I'm in love with..yourbestfriend.",she jumbled up the last few words as fast as she could manage.
"Armaan?",I asked,taken aback. She nodded slightly,blushing.She looked like she was in love.
"But..Atul?",I asked.Atul had been Di's first obsession/love/crush,whatever you call it.He was one year senior to us in college,one of the most popular seniors.She was crazzy about him,but suddenly?
She waved away the question,"He never felt like this,I guess...and,I think it was just a...Crush? Yeah. But with Armaan..Its like..Love..",she said dreamily.

The door clicked and I looked up,my flashback mode taking a backseat in my mind's memory lane,but my heart still thumping hard from the unbearable and unsaid pain and love I feel for Armaan,and will feel forever.It was Di,smiling up at me as she closed the door behind her.

"Hey Ridzi!",she said enthusiastically.
"Hie was the date?",I asked.God,if anyone could understand how hard it was to ask that!
She frowned a little,"Date?Hm..Okay,Good.",she smiled,"Leave na..lets check your mail."
"Check MY mail?",I was puzzled.
"Yeah Armaan was saying we got our job offers today! You know Armaan and I both got into Infotech Mumbai ! I realllyy hope you get into that too,it'll be So Much Fun!All of us Together!Its a Super-duper Awesome Company!,she said excitedly.

So we both opened our mail.I'd got the highest percentage,so I was obviously expecting some good offers. My mail inbox flickered across my PC screen and Di screamed in delight.
"Yayy! You got into Infotech too! Armaan will be so happy,he was like,'She has to be there!',Di said dramatically,imitating him,"As if he'd die without his little best friend.",she snorted and then laughed.I smiled meekly at her.Being around Armaan would be so difficult,I'd break down,I know..I'm horrible at keeping myself strong. Pretences again? I didn't have the strength.
"Di..Look.I got into Global Tech,Bangalore.",I said,pointing to a unread message. It was the biggest Technology company in India. The best.And it was far away..So,Nice Offer.Best Desicion.Far from him..Far from pain.

"WOW! Thats really..Great,Ridzi,I'm proud of you!,she said,hugging me,"But Ridz..You're not going there,right? I mean I know its a AWESOME and a Once-in-a-Lifetime Oppurtunity types,but its so far away,and you won't leave me,Mom Dad,our friends..and especially Armaan,right?",she looked at me.
My desicion was made.No one could change it.Not anymore..Armaan.I can't keep hurting myself,"Di,I want to do this.Please.I want to go here and do my job.Its my dream can I leave it?"
"But Ridz..",she began sadly.
"Di You know na I'll miss you,But I can't let this go...For anyone.I can't...I want to do this.."

After a little bit of persuation,she agreed,"Are You sure,Riddhima?"
"Ofcouse,Di. This desicion won't change.
And I knew..It wouldn't.


Days flew by like pages of a book and the day had come for me to leave.I was going to Bangalore.Leaving behind Armaan,my life my soul,my best friend,my love..My Di,My friends,My family..A part of myself. All these days I avoided him as much as I could.But today? I stood at the airport hugging my friends and family..Atlast the last one came to him.

He walked a little bit with me,"Hey..keep yourself safe,okay? I know you're careless. And eat well,don't you keep meals.Don't overwork,don't flirt too much with your collegues..",he chuckled,continuing his list,"I'll miss you..You know?",he said softly. I didn't reply.My throat felt dry,my heart had stopped reacting altogether.I wanted to hug him and cry hard,yet I stopped myself.My emotions were starting to overpower me.Fisting my free hand that hadn't held the troley,I closed my eyes to stop the tears. My pain was bubbling up like a fountain,ready to burst. Fearing I might break down,I started walking faster.
"Hey Ri..I forgot ti say,Take care,have a safe journey,oh yes..Dun forget to call me!Come back soon,Okay? And hey,Dun cry..I-"
"STOP IT!",I shouted,raising a hand.I'd had enough.I knew everyone was staring but the hell I cared.My heart was breaking so horribly,and he was going on thinking I was fine? No,not anymore..It was enough,"ARMAAN,Stop it,For God's Sake. I know you Don't care about me,So WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR DAMN WORDS!"
"Rid-",he began softly,but I interrupted him again.
"NO,NOT ANYMORE! I WON'T LET YOU BREAK MY HEART IF YOU ALREADY HAVEN'T,ARMAAN MALLIK! I WON'T!",My voice broke.He began to advance towards me,and I moved back,preventing him from coming near.My chest was paining,God Dammit."I HATE YOU.",my words sounded bitter,"You know why? Because I made the most Terrible Mistake of my Life. A HUGE MISTAKE."

He was too stunned to speak.His mouth opened but I had more to say,"YOU made me make the mistake.YES,YOU,ARMAAN MALLIK. You-",I raised a finger but then dropped it,I had no strength left,"I Made the Biggest mistake of my life..Which I regret till now,I FELL IN LOVE WITH  YOU!",I said.
His face turned white.I could sense my family gasp and letting their hands flow to their mouths.He stood there rooted to the ground,unsure of what to say.I knew I wanted to cry.One last time before leaving,I told him,"I HATE YOU,I HATE YOU...Only Because of the Fact,That I LOVE YOU.I Amn't Coming back,Armaan...Never. I am Not Breaking my Heart Once More.I'd had ENOUGH!",I said and started walking briskly ahead.

It was then he regained his senses.He started shouting back,"Riddhima Wait ! Please..Riddhima!RIDDHIMA!",his voic e faded away as I ran madly,leaving him and his memories behind.I finished my life,then and there.I wasn't looking back..Never.

Love Ya All,

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