Sunday, 19 April 2020

OS : It's because I have been loved that I have become stronger...

Why am I leaving you this note? I mean I will be meeting you in few hours before you arrive for your shift. Here, let me tell you the reason. A few minutes ago I was walking in the corridor reading a report when I was hit by an aroma that I have solely associated with you. You know I love you, a lot, but it takes my breath away when your essence meddles with the normalcy of my everyday life.

It's not as if this is an everyday occurrence, but when it does, it's an experience that many people can only dream of. There is a shift in the air, heaviness in the ambiance and then, there is this warmth that starts in my palms and starts spreading all over me and in the process of doing so, it defines me, our memories, my insecurity and my current state of loneliness. There is a melancholy in the way that you are not here when I actually feel your residual presence and something very romantic in the fact that I am actually writing it down. And this is when I stop writing my tangled state of mind and write something what my clear heart is dictating.

You know, Riddhima, there is this one point in a relationship when you seem to know what the other person is doing or thinking or about to say. No, it's not in the romantic context, but it is in the sense a point of clarity when you are so much intone with this other person that you just know. Is that how you know when to get me a coffee or when I need a hug?

When I had broken down, I found salvation in your arms when you hugged me. You had simply accepted me for the man that I am. There was no reasoning for your acceptance; there was no judgmental or logical explanation in doing so. It simply was. And I adore you for that.

So, Riddhima, thank you for walking with me and making spring seem lovelier and the sun seems warmer, to cut out the din of the world while letting me hear the whistles of the birds as an interlude and as foolishly unctuous as this may seem, I have nothing more than honest words to offer: I am glad we are together walking towards our futures which is horribly tangled with one another.
It was a pleasure finding you and in the process finding myself.

One last thing, before I sign off.

It wouldn't be prudent of me to assume that you would think about me all the time. But the times when I really do cross your mind, I wish that you smile.


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