Sunday, 21 June 2020

Part 12 : CLOSURE?TO BEGINNING

Armaan stood leaning on the wall for long. Lost and incapable of thinking anything strait. What should he do now? He didn't find a way out of this complicated mess. How would he make her understand if she didn't even give him as much as a chance to talk? He is trying his best but seems that she didn't even want to see his face. Sighing he left the place and starts to look for Riddhima. He has not seen her for long. Where is she? He knows she must be needing him by her side. So, he concentrates on finding her and may be she can tell him a way to talk to Shilpa. After searching the rooms he goes to garden. As soon as he comes out there some children start to drag him for playing with them. As much as he loves them, but now he is in no mood to entertain them. Playing is the last thing on his list. He is refusing them but then his eyes catches the sight of what or rather whom he is looking for. There is Riddhima, leaning on Bua's shoulder. It can not take him much time to realize that she is crying. He gets worried and mentally kicked himself for not being there for her.

 At that very moment Riddhima lifts her eyes and notices Armaan looking at her concerned. He raises his brows as if questioning her of what happened. She readily wiped her eyes not to make him too worried and shakes her head in a no. but is that enough to make Armaan convince that she is all right? Not at all. As for the next second she sees him coming towards her in long stride. As Armaan is looking towards her he could not noticed a brick lying in his way and stumbles over it. Seeing him Stumbling Riddhima gets scared and runs toward him. Upon reaching there she found Armaan catching his leg and rubbing it.  There is a slight blood stain on his toe. She screeches "Armaaan" and bends down to check his bleeding toe. "Armaan,. . .can't u see?. . .where your eyes are?. . . u can't even see that much big a brick" she blasts on him while looking for some thing to get to stop the bleeding. Armaan is very well habituated with this frantic Riddhima. One scratch on him and she goes berserk. Usually it comprises of anger and scolding but today he noticed there is something more to her Anger .How much ever she is trying she can not hide from him the vulnerable tiny droplet of tears that flowed down from her eyes though she instantly hidden it by closing her eyes. He looks up and notices that everyone is gathered there including Bua with concern itched in their eyes. He smiles sheepishly at them at the madness of her concerned wife and tries to ease the atmosphere. He rubs his arm on Riddhima's back "Riddhima . . . Baby . .nothing happened. . .I am absolutely Alright. . .don'. . ." he tries to sooth her and in return again gets  blasted. "Shut Up Armaan. . . How could u say this?. . .can't u see its bleeding?. . ." She told him fuming. How can be he so careless all the time? Isn't she had enough trouble already that he have to hurt himself now? Doesn't he know that how she feels when he gets hurt. " Ridd. . ." Armaan again dares to open his big mouth but shuts up immediately seeing the deadly glare from her. She whispered dangerously in a murderous tone. . "Not another word. . .Now get up and lets go to room. . . I hav to check and dress the wound. . ."that was enough to make Armaan stand up like an obedient student. She takes his Arm around her one shoulder and starts to move towards the room with a hopping Armaan beside her.





Armaan went with her in the room. Where she made him sit on the bed and silently goes to the drawer and pulls out a first aid kit. She is doing all these works so silently that Armaan is feeling quite confused. Usually in matters like this she is the one to almost break the house down shouting on him for his carelessness. Though he knows that she does all that out of worry for him. And as matter of fact he actually enjoys the attention she gives him at those times. But now it all seems different. She is so silently dressing his wound that he actually forgets the pain thinking about the probable reason for it. His brain's complicated data processing stops abruptly when he feels two drops of hot water on his leg. Is she crying? He instantly cups her face in his hands concerned. . "Hey. . .Busket. . .don't cry. . .its just a scratch. . ." but next moment he gets surprised when Riddhima almost throws herself on  him in a tight unexpected sudden hug and cries her heart out.



Riddhima tried to act all strong infront of everyone in the garden. But now in this room when they are all alone she finds it's really hard to control her emotions anymore. She keeps herself from talking unless her voice gets chocked. She is broken .She just needs him to be by her side. The turmoil and storms of emotions she is going through all day is tearing her from inside. She just wants to be in his arms and forget everything for a moment. But at the same time she doesn't want to make him more worried than he already is. She knows how much stressed he himself is as she had seen the conversation between him and Shilpa at corridor. Its not only him, but she had also realized the huge change in Shilpa. She has noticed that though Initially she was so happy to see her there, having her sister back, but now she seems aloof all of a sudden. She is avoiding her and not talking too much. She is always acting so conscious as if she is trying to hide some thing. Does she really believe she can hide it from her? But she is trying desperately not to face any kind of unwanted situation. And it is making Riddhima more worried. Did she think by running away she can solve every problem. She wants Shilpa to share her problems with her, talk with her. But it seems that she hav chosen hiding everything as a best option. And Riddhima is finding herself helpless. She wants to help Shilpa, her little sister, but she is not giving her any chance. What should she do now? She is tired of thinking. She wants to be in peace for some time and what else than his arms can give her the calm she wanted so desperately. She is thinking all this while dressing his wound. Seeing him in pain is also adding to the restlessness of her heart. Seeing the blood on his toe her mind went blank for sometime. It could no longer have the strength to hide the tears anymore and they drop on their own accord. Next moment she feels his hand cupping her face. One look on his eyes and she can no longer hold herself back and she breaks down on his arms clutching him with all her might.





On the other hand, as soon as she breaks down in his arms Armaan realizes that there is more to this than just this small cut on his leg. And soon he proved right when he heard her saying with her muffing sound with hiccupping.. "I don't want. . .to ..Loose her. . .do some..thing. . .Armaan . . .pls .. .do something . . .stop her . ."  Armaan feels helpless at that moment. He himself is desperately trying a way out of all this. He also doesn't want Shilpa to leave.  He doesn't want to loose a friend like her again. But more than that he want to see Shilpa happy. He can do anything to help her but he is frustrated that he doesn't know what he can actually do. He thought that Riddhima might help but here she is, in his arm crying her heart out asking for HIS help. How can he see her like this? He wants to shout to God that what he wants him to do? He will do anything and everything. Just make these two dear ones of him happy. He will be indebted to him for life. But now his first and foremost priority is to sooth his busket. It pains him to no end seeing her in such a wretched condition. How is he going to forgive himself for putting her in this situation? Because he knows, directly or indirectly, he is the reason behind all this. He strokes her hair murmuring " Shhh. . .busket . . .Don't cry . . .everything will be alright. ." but it does nothing to stop her from crying making him more powerless than ever. He can't think of anything else at that time so, he did what he thought would be best. He cups her face and takes her lips in a sweet, assuring yet strongly passionate kiss, conveying that he will be there for her. She instantly pulls him closer to her making the kiss more deep taking all the assurance that he is offering. Armaan gets surprised with the amount of worry, pain and turmoil that she conveyed through the kiss and he continues to take away all those pains while instilling his love deep in her heart.



They don't know from how long they been kissing each other, and even couldn't hav known for how long they could continue doing that if their lungs didn't cried for air. They pull out breathing heavily while Armaan whispers a "I Love You" on her lips.



Her crying has been stopped and she takes in a long breath in relief and puts her head on his chest hearing his thudding heart while his arms encircle her. Her mind is much calmer now. The emotional rollercoaster has stopped and now she can think strait. They stayed like that for sometime till Riddhima breaks the silence "Armaan. . ."



" Hmmm. . " he answers still lost in his thoughts.



She parts and looks up at him. " What do u think? . . .What should we do? she asks him.



He looks at her lost. He is not able to find any solution for this situation. " I. . .I don't know busket . . .Noyhing is coming in my damn  good for nothing brain. . ." He answers cursing his brain which is incapable of giving him any idea at this moment when they need it badly.



She gets disappointed but did not allow showing it on her face. She knows the complexity of the situation. And she also knows how much worried Armaan himself is. She has realized that he is silently blaming himself for everything. Which is not at all good. It is quite foolish to expect him to give her any ideas when he himself was so jumbled up. What touches her most is that even in this chaotic state of his mind he ensured that she is alright. She is never going to be tired wondering about this man. So, she decides to allow him some slack and herself concentrates on finding a solution.



" Armaan . . did u noticed how  much she hav changed herself. .?" she asks him after sometime, " it seems she is not the Shilpa we had known. ." She expresses her observation. It's quite tough that anyone can ignore the fact. It is so obvious.



Armaan Sighs and nods his head. Of course he has noticed. That is why he feels all the more guilty that he is the reason behind all this. And Riddhima's next words confirmed that she also knows the same. " And I think. . .u knows the reason why.  Right Armaan?." she utters slowly as if confirming



He stares back at her. His eyes depicts a helpless acceptance. Yes he knows. But at the same time she also sees some thing else flickering in his eyes. It's hurt. S**t.  Did he thought that she is accusing him? And before she can say anything he again nods his head in affirmation and gets up from there and moves to the window.





She gets up and follows him there. She didn't want to make him guilty. It's not her intension. He is standing there with his back against her. She places her hand on his shoulder. . "Armaan. . .". She hears him sigh and he turns toward her. He looks defeated and his eyes depict pure turmoil and guilt. She touches his cheek with her hand to erase the worry and he caught it tightly there. He lowers his head and closes his eyes. " I know Riddhima. . .I am responsible for everything. . .But it was never intentional. . . Now what should I do Riddhima? . .I don't want to loose a friend like her. . .but what I want most is to see her happy again. . It made me feel rotten whenever I think I am the reason for her vanished smile. . I wanted to curse myself. .I want to see her like what she used to be. .But I don't know how can I do that. .I wanted to apologize to her; to talk to her . . to clear every thing out so that she can live happily . .I want her to forget me and.."



He gets cut by Riddhima before he continues more " U want her to fall out of love with u? . ." She asks him with an amused shock. She could not believe what a stupid he can be. Did he think one can fall out of love? She knows he is guilty but this is incredulous.



Armaan also falters answering her. He has not thought it this way. But still he tries to argue, " But. ."



Riddhima places her finger on his lips to prevent him from talking more nonsense, " Armaan. . This is not any day to day problem that u can discuss and get it solved. . . U can not talk anyone out of love. . . it is impossible. . . and I think u of all the people better knows about this. . .how can u even think such a stupid thing. . ?"



Armaan desperately moves his hand through his hair. He is now confused more than ever. It seems Riddhima is right. Then now what he should do? The situation makes him like a lost child who is searching for his parents in a big fair. " So . . . what Should I do? Can't I do anything?. . ."  he looks at Riddhima. His eyes almost pleading her to give him at least one solution that can miraculously solve all the problems; to make everything normal as if these things had never happened.



 Riddhima smiles painfully seeing his condition.  She never wants to see her Armaan this much guilty and helpless .She goes closer to him and engulfs him in a sweet hug. She puts her head on his heart and places a small kiss there which instantly calms him down a bit. He circles his arm around her taking a sigh while she murmurs against his chest, "We can't do anything . . it's Shilpa who has to do it . . She has to let it out. .All the pain and hurt that she has hidden deep inside her heart , she has to throw it all out . . .only that way she can be happy. . . all we could do is to support her in doing so. . .And we r going to do that for her. . isn't it?" she questions knowing fully what would Armaan's response be. And sure enough she feels him nodding his head and tightening his hold around her. Sometime truth is bitter but at the end of all it is the truth.And they hav to accept it. They turn around towards the window in each other embrace. The sun is just setting spreading it's radiant light in horizon. They watch it while feeling each other's warmth. Today is an important day of their life, but if it would turn to be the best or not only tomorrow can tell. And for that they have to wait. . .

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