Monday, 17 August 2020

Part 2 : My every breathe in ur name

 AR in jungle

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(Scene changes to Sanjeevani)

Sid's POV

(Sitting on the bench in the locker room)

Why Riddhima? Why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting yourself? I really can't understand your feelings. You are confusing me. Why are you playing with my feelings? I know I have done mistakes. But now that I want to sought them out, why are you pushing me away? I always want to see you happy. But you never let me know what your real happiness is? What should I do Riddhima?

JP's shout bought me out to consciousness. Why is he so happy? Whom did he meet? Thinking so I walked to the reception. I was surprised to see Dr.Atul there. All my friends are wishing him. I went to join them.

"It's good to see you back, Dr.Atul" said I. That was all I managed to say as my mind is still wandering in Riddhima's thoughts.

"Ah Dr.Sid, I am happy too to meet you all" he said. I could see in his eyes that he was really happy being back.

All my friends were talking to Dr.Atu about his training in Delhi, his experiences. But I am in no mood to listen to the conversation. So I moved away slowly.

"Sid, Sid". I heard Atul calling me. I stopped and turned back to see him coming towards me.

"Sid, where is Riddhima? I didn't find her in Sanjeevani. Is she on leave? Is she fine?" he enquired.

I searched for words to answer him. "She is fine. She went to Lonavala Orphanage to treat the kids there. She will be back in few days." said I.

"Sid, is she happy? I hope you understand why I am asking so. Ridz is at present going through a lot of turmoil. It might take some time. But I am sure you will make Ridz happy." he said.

I did not know what to speak. I just gave a smile and kept silent.

He then said that he would meet me after his duty and was about to leave when something suddenly flashed in my mind. I was hesitant at first but then was convinced that it was the only way I can solve the problems in Riddhima's as well as and my life. I rushed to Dr.Atul. "Dr.Atul, I want to talk to you personally." I said.

"Yes Sid. Is everything fine?" he asked. I nodded at him and we both went to his cabin to talk.

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Armaan's POV

(In the forest)

I am tired. I am worried. I did not find Sravan. It's been three hours since I was searching for him. I wondered if Sravan went back to Orphanage by now. I hope he is safe back there.  I realized that it's of no use searching in dark. The forest is damp. I guess it rained yesterday here. It would be better if I come back in the morning. I took out my mobile to call Riddhima and find out whether Sravan is back. But damn, there is no network. Hesitantly I started walking back. Now I realized that I did not remember which way I had come. The thought that I was lost in the forest brought a soft smile to my lips. I remembered the moments I and Riddhima had spent in the same forest. It's during that time that I realized I am developing some feeling towards Riddhima. Riddhima, my life is bound with your memories. I can't stay without thinking of you even if I want to. You make my life Riddhima. My every breath in your name.

I made up my mind not to think of Riddhima, or least pretend of not thinking about her. I kept my mind busy in finding the way back to orphanage. Just then I heard someone calling out my name. I didn't realize whose voice it was but followed the direction of source of that voice. Soon I realized that it was Riddhima's voice. What is Riddhima doing here? Why did she come here? Did she come to find me? No, I have already decided not to ignite my feelings. The closer I came, I realized that she was screaming out my name. She was crying. My heart got twisted with pain. Why is she crying? Is she fine? Finally I can see Riddhima. She was sobbing and searching for something in the dark. She was standing with her back towards me.

"Riddhima" I called her. She suddenly became still and turned towards me. Her eyes are red with tears. Her cheeks are damp. Tears suddenly filled my eyes watching Riddhima in such a form. Riddhima looked at me for a fraction of second and I realized that a sudden feeling of relief swept her features. Then she started crying again. I did not understand what to expect of Riddhima at that time. Was she worried about me? I was about to speak something when suddenly Riddhima came running towards me and hugged me hard. My God ! she was shivering. She was shivering like hell. Is she frightened?

"Ohh Armaan ! I was afraid. I was afraid for you Armaan. Afraid that you might be hurt. Afraid of losing you once again." She managed to say in between the sobs and moved in still closer to me. A sudden feeling of happiness hit my heart on listening to those words from Riddhima. I was in a state of trance. My arms moved up and held her by her waist and I tightened my grip. I pulled her even more closer.

All of a sudden something striked in my mind. I shouldn't be doing this, said my consciousness. I quickly loosened my grip off Riddhima.

I thought of giving her time to control herself and carefully held her in my arms. She cried and cried. I could sense her tears drenching my brief. She is really worried and frightened.

I can never control my feelings towards you Ridhima, especially when I see you in pain. During this time, I was really trying hard not loose myself to her vulnerability. I am happy that he still cared for me, that she still had a place for me in her heart. But something, something stopped me. I didn't know how much time we were standing there.

"Riddhima, I am fine. I am not hurt" I said slowly still supporting her with my arms. I could sense that her heavied breathing was slowly coming back to normal.

Then all of a sudden she moved away from my arms and stared at me with fear filled eyes. The fear that I now saw in her eyes is not the same fear I saw few moments back. She was upset.

"It's OK Riddhima. I am fine." I tried to make her feel comfortable. Then she put her arms around her chest and started moving back. I could sense anger in her eyes. She was angry with herself. She was fighting back her tears.

I was about to say something when she opened her mouth and came the final blow. "This is a mistake Armaan. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here." said she still sobbing and ran back towards the orphanage.

And I was left staring at her. Those last few words hit me very hard. Is it a mistake that she opened up her heart? Is it a mistake that she still had feelings towards me and I towards her? Or is it a mistake that I came back into her life? Is it a mistake that I fought with death to be back with her? Tears rolled fast in my eyes. My limbs weakened and they could no longer support my weight. I kneeled down and allowed myself to get rid of the pain that I have locked up in my heart, in the form of tears.

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perfect smile

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