Wednesday, 12 August 2020

part 4 & 5 : Khushiyon ka Intezaar

Part 4 

Time flies really fast I had met armaan on Monday and now its Friday, the day of my marriage oops the day of our marriage. In these four days a lot has happened. Firstly armaan never called me neither tried meeting me and all these things were just making me more negative.

I don't know why like every bride I just wasn't enthusiastic may be the negative thoughts in my mind were the reason of less enthusiasm.

Apart from negative thoughts since childhood I never had dreams of my prince charming or for my marriage because of my fears, that my dreams would get shattered.

Though I wanted a traditional marriage with all the functions but like always destiny never cares about my wishes or happiness. Thank god I never dreamt of my prince charming otherwise I would have surely faced a break down.

Secondly when rahul and muskaan came to know about my marriage they were hyperventilated. They bombarded me with lots of questions as to how can I agree to marry a complete stranger without knowing him etc etc.

I didn't want to tell them that he was in our school and I had a crush on him because then they would tell armaan about it and I myself want to tell him this.

They even gave me lectures that I should protest against this marriage. I don't know why they were even wasting their energy when they know these lectures are falling in deaf ears.

The biggest shock came to me when they said they would attend my wedding but not with their heart and would also not talk with me just because I didn't protest. I even had to go alone for the shopping as muskaan refused to accompany me. Why can't they understand I can't hurt papa no matter how much rude he is.

Papa had given me some money for shopping but I just didn't feel like using that money instead I bought a simple yet elegant saree from my salary along with few jewellery.

I so wished muskaan could have come I felt so lonely that day. But alas things were not in my favour during these four days.

I was getting reading for the marriage when I heard a knock on my door. When I opened the door it was ramu kaka that was standing at the door and I smiled seeing him. Since childhood he is the only one who is taking care of me.

"bitiya saab ne kaha hai ki time ho gaya hai or apko neeche bulaya hai"

I told him that I am ready and would come down in two minutes. When he started leaving I called him and he stopped I went to the cupboard took out the money which dad had given me for the shopping and I gave it to ramu kaka.

He looked at me with confusion written on his face. I smiled and told him that this money was given to me by papa for buying clothes for the marriage but I did not use it as I didn't feel like using it and asked him to return it to papa after he comes back from the court.

After ramu kaka left I went and stood in front of my mother's photograph

"mom aaj meri shaadi hai or aaj mien apko sabse zyada miss kar rahi hoon kash aap aaj hamare beech hoti inn khushiyon ko share karne ke liye. Mom aapse ek baat karni thi itne din se mere dimaag main ek baat thi shayad mien papa ko achi nahiin lagti tabhi vo mujhse baat nahiin karte apka toh bahana hai ki meri vajay se aap unse door hui hain. Mien shayad boht buri hoon tabhi vo mujhse baat nahiin karte ya meri shakal nahiin dekhna chahte. Aaj mien iss ghar se jaa rahi hoon mom hamesha ke liye mien ani shakal ab papa ko kabhi nahiin dikhaongi unhe kabhi takleef nahiin doongi apni shakal dikha ke aap yahiin rehna papa ke saath he'll need you bye mom".

The entire journey to court I kept glancing at papa as I knew I would never ever get to see him from such close distance again though I would be able to see him either through media or at some party functions.

My thoughts came to a halt as the car stopped in front of the court. My heart started beating fast I don't know why but it was beating at a faster rate than before.

I came out of the car and found armaan and his family were already standing there and waiting for us.

Papa and I walked towards them. I heard papa saying "sorry billy to keep you waiting actually we were stuck in a traffic jam".

"It's ok we just reached a minute ago we didn't have to wait for long" billy uncle replied.

"Aaj riddhima toh boht khoobsoorat lag rahi hai" ananya aunty said to me.

I smiled and looked down at the floor as this was for the first time someone complimenting me other than rahul and muskaan.

"andar chale judge must be waiting too" I heard papa saying.

We started walking towards the court and in between I glanced at armaan he was using his phone.

Armaan was wearing a black coat red shirt and a black pant. Atleast red was common between us without even deciding it as I too was wearing a red anar kali dress.

We reached the room where the judge was sitting on the table and two chairs were kept for armaan and me to sit I believe.

I looked around and found rahul and msukaan standing at a corner with no smile on their faces. They had blank expressions. I sighed.

Papa and armaan's parents were standing next to each other behind the chairs.

I went towards my friends and hugged them.

I smiled and said "I know you guys aren't happy with my decision and I promise I won't meet you after my wedding or stay in contact so that you guys don't remain upset because of me. I am starting a new life today and think that I am happy in it and yeah I will never make new friends as you guys will remain my friends for ever".

I hugged them for the last time and walked towards the table to start a new life leaving behind my sad past.


Part 5

I signed the legal document which said that now I am married and my name changes from Riddhima Gupta to Riddhima Armaan Mallik.

I could hear people clapping including my friend's rahul and muskaan. I heard my papa saying congratulations to armaan's parents.

His voice held some unknown happiness I wonder whether he was genuinely happy with my marriage or was happy that I'll no longer be staying in the same house with him.

I, for the first time, during the entire process of marriage looked at armaan who was looking towards his parents. Seeing him I too looked towards my papa he was smiling.

For the first time my heart wanted to belief that he is happy because of me because I am leaving the house forever na that's why he must be happy alas he is happy because of me that's all what matter to me.

I am glad before leaving him forever I have a beautiful memory that is his smiling and laughing face that too because of me, he is happy that I am leaving and if that's making him smile I have no problem I'll cherish this smiling and laughing face.

My thoughts broke because I heard armaan's mom saying to armaan to take blessings from my papa.  He looked at me and my breath stuck seeing his blue eyes for the second time. I smiled at him and then we walked towards papa.

I was very nervous because I didn't know whether he'll like it or not. But then armaan and his parents are around I don't think he'll do something which will raise questions. I was excited now because this will be the first time I'll get his blessings may be agreeing for this marriage wasn't wrong because it is bring some happiness for me.

Armaan and I bent down to take his blessings but the leg which I was about to touch moved a centimetre away from its original place. That very moment I understood he doesn't wants to bless me and I just wished armaan hasn't seen this.

Just to make things normal I pretended I touched his feet and then stood straight with my eyes still looking towards the floor. Papa hugged armaan and at that moment I felt week tears were forming in my eyes.

I was about to move from the place when suddenly I was pulled into a hug by my friends. I knew it they would always support me and be on my side.

Rahul whispered in my ears "all the best for your new life even though you know we are against this marriage but still hope and pray you get all the happiness".

Then muskaan whispered "ye mat samajna ki hamari dosti toot gayi hai tune jo decision liya hai shayad sahi hai hum agar roz tujhe iss shaadi ke khilaaf bolenge toh shayad tujhe problem ho new life main adjust karne main toh thode time ke liye tujhse door rahenge lekin uske baad ek pal bhi nahiin samjhi or koi bhi problem hot oh hume yaad kar lena we are always with you".

I was speechless for a moment they understood why I asked them not to remain in contact with me. They truly are my best friends. Till I adjust in new life and go back to them I won't make new friends.

I came out of my thoughts when I heard rahul muskaan congratulating armaan and asking him to take care of me. I so wanted to cry at that moment but somehow controlled it.

I then moved towards armaan's parents and touched their feet. They happily gave me blessings and ananya aunty armaan's mom hugged me. I smiled because for the first time I felt the warmth of a mother. I could see a mother figure in her, which was missing from my life.

Again I felt week wish mom would have been here then happily papa would have blessed me too, but alas something's can never happen and this was one of them.

After taking blessings from everyone we left the court and went to nearby restaurant for celebrating it. The food was served, we were sitting on a round table and armaan and I were sitting next to each other.  Whereas his parents and my father were sitting opposite us, Rahul and muskaan were sitting next to me and probably those were armaan's friends who were sitting next to him.

That's when I realised I know nothing about armaan's life and neither he knows about me I guess this is what arrange marriage means.

But even In arrange marriage couples do know about each other if not fully may be little and here I don't even know anything other than his name Armaan Mallik.

I agree we were in same school but different batch/ year so I hardly know anything about him. all I know is he was the most popular student in the school. He has won many competitions too during school days because his name was often called in assemblies for appreciating him. sigh wish I was more attentive in listening to the names of competition that he use participate rather drooling over him or thinking of us together as a couple.

I don't know if armaan has seen me in school or not but may be this could be my destiny's hint that happiness will knock my door.

Thankfully neither his nor my friends teased us otherwise our starting would have been little awkward. I ate my food in pure silence though papa was talking with armaan's parents and armaan in between was replying to his friends, rahul and muskaan were just giving me space so that reality syncs in me that I am married. I am happy that they are my best friends because they understand me completely.

Finally the time for my bidaai came and i have seen and heard that every girl cries on her bidaai because she is going in a new life, new home, new environment, among new people, she is scared as well as excited, happy to start a new life and sad because she has to leave her parents, who have always protected her from every problem though they would continue protecting her but still a girls biggest strength that is her parents would no longer live with her.

But me? I don't know whether I should be happy or sad. Happy because now I wouldn't have to stay in the house where there is no love and sad because I would not be able to get a glimpse of my father every day.  Even though I never come in front of him as he doesn't like it still I could see him every day.

Muskaan kept a hand on my shoulder and it brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at her and saw her shaking her head conveying 'not to cry'.

I smiled at her and sat inside the car. Saw my father for the last time before the car started towards its journey.


No comments:

Post a Comment